Standoffish niece

[Anonymous]

She's rude. Don't expect good advice from the majority of posters because they also are rude
What you do is be polite say hello and do not engage further

This extends to not giving her cards, gifts, phone calls money, going to her events etc. She wants to be left alone. Do exactly that. Completely.

[Anonymous]

Also enough with the she may have autism BS. Your child with autism is rude because you never corrected his or her behavior and instead made excuses for it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's rude. Don't expect good advice from the majority of posters because they also are rude
What you do is be polite say hello and do not engage further

This extends to not giving her cards, gifts, phone calls money, going to her events etc. She wants to be left alone. Do exactly that. Completely.

Do you know OP personally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also enough with the she may have autism BS. Your child with autism is rude because you never corrected his or her behavior and instead made excuses for it

I’m not going to be nice to someone I strongly dislike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your talking to her is not going to change anything.

Plus, she's not your problem to solve.

Live and let live. She has issues, but they're for her parents to deal with. You have no role in it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your talking to her is not going to change anything.

Plus, she's not your problem to solve.

Live and let live. She has issues, but they're for her parents to deal with. You have no role in it.

+1

No, they're not her parents' issues. She's an adult. Why isn't she out of the house already? If she is still in college, enjoy a visit with your sister while she is away.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like she's hurting you. If she wants nothing to do with you, you need to respect that. We all have the right to like or dislike whoever we want for whatever we want, as long as we don't hurt those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM, please help me out here. One of my sisters had her one and only child pretty late in life, at 47, thanks to IVF. This girl is an apple in her parents' eyes. She is beautiful, a gifted student, skipped 2 grades. She was already in college when she was 15. At the same time, she is very divisive. When she was 12, she loudly proclaimed at a family function she wants nothing to do with US, doesn't want our visits, because "you are boring, unstimulating and we have nothing in common". We brushed it off to a "moody teenager". But it's gotten worse. She is now 18 and ignores us. She does not acknowledge us when we visit, she has no relationships with any of our kids and grandkids. She disinvites us from events. My sister tried to prod her, even used threats, but it only makes her withdraw even more. My sister is sad but says she cannot force her to be more friendly. Whenever she is around us, she just sits there with a book and headphones on. She did not even want to be in the group picture with our elderly parents! I know she is not my kid but I am getting fed up. Should I attempt a conversation? We have done nothing wrong to her. There was never any abuse, since DCUM commentators will ask about that. We were all so happy when she was born, we wanted to be part of her life and she brushes us off.

OP You sound pushy and entitled. You are holding an outburst that she made six years ago at age 12 against her? She is under no obligation to have a relationship with you or your kids. She disinvites you to events …I take it this means she doesn’t want you at her parties which is fine. It’s also fine for her to protest within her own family not to make it an extended family event. When you are visiting her mother, she keeps to herself. She grey rocks yu.

She doesn’t want a relationship with you and there is nothing wrong with ths. Leave her alone.

No, you don't understand. She doesn't want a relationship with ANY of her mother's family. No grandparents, no aunts and uncles, no cousins. We cannot ALL be horrible, pushy and entitled.

It's her choice and none of your business. If one person isn't interested, there isn't a relationship. All you can do is respect her boundaries, be open if she changes, or choose to be a bitter overbearing person who either wants to punish her for her choices or just gossip about her.

Well, if she’s going to behave like a spoiled, snotty witch, don’t come. Stay home. 18-year-olds don’t need babysitters.

[Anonymous]

You did your best. Concentrate on your relationship with your sister and leave the odd duck alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's rude. Don't expect good advice from the majority of posters because they also are rude
What you do is be polite say hello and do not engage further

This extends to not giving her cards, gifts, phone calls money, going to her events etc. She wants to be left alone. Do exactly that. Completely.

+1 Best advice on the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's rude. Don't expect good advice from the majority of posters because they also are rude
What you do is be polite say hello and do not engage further

This extends to not giving her cards, gifts, phone calls money, going to her events etc. She wants to be left alone. Do exactly that. Completely.

Do you know OP personally?

Do you know her personally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also enough with the she may have autism BS. Your child with autism is rude because you never corrected his or her behavior and instead made excuses for it

I’m not going to be nice to someone I strongly dislike.

We've already established that you and the majority of posters here are rude and lacking in social graces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's rude. Don't expect good advice from the majority of posters because they also are rude
What you do is be polite say hello and do not engage further

This extends to not giving her cards, gifts, phone calls money, going to her events etc. She wants to be left alone. Do exactly that. Completely.

+1 Best advice on the thread.

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also enough with the she may have autism BS. Your child with autism is rude because you never corrected his or her behavior and instead made excuses for it

I’m not going to be nice to someone I strongly dislike.

We've already established that you and the majority of posters here are rude and lacking in social graces.

You have “established” that.

[Anonymous]

I would be polite and stop trying to engage. She doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to have a relationship with anyway, and that’s okay. No need to force it.