I'm tired of being a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds exhausting! I'm sorry, op.

But I did notice that you said a few times that you give in--if he goes with dad he cries, he cries until he gets what he wants. You're creating a tiny monster by giving hj
What he wants when he cries. He knows that next time--he just has to cry and he gets what he wants! He should have regular time with dad every day, maybe dad does bath time and you take a walk. Every single day, so it becomes routine. Don't give in! You think you're helping him, but I think you're showing him you have inconsistent and weak boundaries and he's going to use that to his advantage, but it also scares kids when they don't know what to expect.

This. He’s just spoiled.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my life as a single mom. I would take the weekend off and go to a friend's house or a hotel if I had a spouse. Your DH is also his parent so he needs to take care of him too.....alone.

[Anonymous]

I had a tantrum-y toddler who didn’t sleep through the night. He wasn’t hyper, though. But I swear, he is the most lovable, easiest teen imaginable. We worked through the tantrum phase (which honestly lasted until kindergarten) and I really think he learned a lot of self-awareness and self-control from it.

I’m an extremely happy mom now, but I remember telling my mom something along the lines of “I can’t f***ing take this anymore—it’s so miserable!” when my kids were that young. And I do NOT swear normally. It can be very, very draining.

It sounds like you aren’t a teller yourself, which is great. If you meet the tantrums with calm firmness, somehow it eventually catches on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sounds exhausting! I'm sorry, op.

But I did notice that you said a few times that you give in--if he goes with dad he cries, he cries until he gets what he wants. You're creating a tiny monster by giving hj
What he wants when he cries. He knows that next time--he just has to cry and he gets what he wants! He should have regular time with dad every day, maybe dad does bath time and you take a walk. Every single day, so it becomes routine. Don't give in! You think you're helping him, but I think you're showing him you have inconsistent and weak boundaries and he's going to use that to his advantage, but it also scares kids when they don't know what to expect.

Yes this isn’t helping at all. Reminds me of a few friends who tell sob stories about their kids who don’t sleep. But if you listen carefully it becomes obvious that they are going in and out of their child’s room throughout the night. So the child continues. The child is doing what it knows to do in order to get what he or she wants. The parent is contributing to the child not sleeping. But I have to just listen and pretend they are simply unlucky with a kid who doesn’t sleep. Sounds like something similar going on here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

He has always been this way. Let me add he is a very loving boy which is part of why I feel so guilty. He doesn't hit or kick thankfully.

He has always been active and high energy. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and took Ritalin. He is ... 34 months old so almost 3.

He has never slept through the night and still wakes 1-2x/night. He will not respond to my husband at night and cry/scream for me. We are encouraging him to try the potty and having him sit before and after meals and before and after sleeping. We read him books while he sits on the potty and give rewards and praise if he goes (he has 2x so far), but now the potty has become a spot he likes to sit and be read to.

The tantrums I just kind of zone out. I have to try really hard to not scream and reciprocate. I try to speak to him in a low, calm voice and give warning indicators that we will be leaving soon. He won't get up and and walk or take my hand when it's time to go, so at the end of the 5 minute indicator I have to pick him up and he begins thrashing.

Dear OP,

He sounds exactly like mine who is turning 5 next month.

As soon as your son turns 3, get the 5 pound weighted blanket from Amazon (the one with minky fabric on one side). The reviews will say "it's a miracle" and you will be skeptical. GET THE BLANKET. We went from every 45 minute wake-ups to once a night around 4 or 5 am. I am sending you prayers that it works for you as well as it did for me. Sleep for Mom is important at helping you be your best.

Next - Can you consider OT? We have had our son in two or three times a week since age 2. It has helped a ton with emotional regulation and giving an outlet to the need for big motor activities. It was like 1:1 private circus class in the beginning because he was so much in need. Then - if that starts to help, get a big swing at home that you can swing him in high and fast on days when there is no OT.

We let my son use a tablet on the potty. Voila - pooping on the potty everyday.

At 4 years and 8 months, my son started a super low dose of Ritalin. It has helped tremendously. We also supplement with fish oil gummies and magnesium gummies.

I could share lots more strategies, but I just want you to know you're not alone. It's not you, it's him.
I am certain you are doing a great job just by virtue of the fact that you are working on not yelling. I wish I had another. So maybe give the weighted blanket a try later this Spring and get back to sleep - and back to bed IYKWIM.

OP-I think this post has EXCELLENT advice. My kiddo is dx ASD and I agree with what pp wrote!

One strategy I use to leave places, like parks, is to say something like 'five more minutes' (be aware that preschoolers don't really know what a minutes is) then 'two minutes' then 'one minute! pick ONE more thing to do then we'll go'. I saw that on Daniel Tiger and it works for us

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son when he was 2 was a nightmare. My friends (who all had daughters) would go to lunch and their girls would sit there quietly and behave themselves. My son would run out into the street if I wasn't watching him with an eagle eye. Boys are tough. The first thing I learned - my son is now 17 - is that my son needs a run every single day. Like to the point of exhaustion. We lived overseas in a big city where the parks were not so safe and it was exhausting trying to keep him from falling off something. But here you have great parks and lots of places to run.

My suggestion is to get him a small bike or tricycle and take him to the park as often as possible. First thing on a sunday morning, take him to the track and have him follow you around. Something, anything.

The second thing I learned is that boys are much easier than girls after about 4 years old. My friend's girls are difficult now! So much drama. My son still just needs exercise and he is easy. Without exercise, a bit of a nightmare (think pandemic!) but otherwise, no drama.

The third thing I learned is find him an activity he enjoys - I put my son in so many classes, some he liked, some he didn't - but at least it gave us a break. And he found a sport he loves and excels in.

I've noticed this as well. I have 2 little boys (almost 3 and 1) and they're high energy and exhausting, especially the older toddler. Their girl cousins are much calmer but the drama is no cake walk. Lots of emotions that my brother and SIL are constantly managing. They feel exhausted too.

[Anonymous]

Neuropsych eval

[Anonymous]

How are you doing OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds awful - but I am just exhausted.

I have one 2 y/o and work full-time. It is exhausting meeting his needs - it's just constant demands for attention and tantrums. He will ask for food that he likes then immediately hates it when I bring it out. This morning he has pooped x6 and it's like this every morning. We've talked to his pediatrician and she says it's normal. He screams if I suggest trying the potty. Every food that I offer is "yucky", this morning he woke up at 5AM and ran out to his toy room and immediately began and tantrum when he couldn't' find a specific garbage truck toy.

He is just constantly running and bumping into things, he ran into the couch at full-speed. He screams if he sees an ant. He is so high energy and demanding. We take him to the park, zoo, museum, playdates, outside play for hours on end but its NEVER enough - when its time to leave it's just screaming meltdowns. I am embarassed at his behavior and blame myself for how he acts wondering if there's something i'm doing wrong.

My sisters daughter will just sit quietly and play by herself and sit on my sisters lap and read books. My son is just so much, all the time. It has completley turned me off from having another child and i'm considering having my tubes tied to prevent another pregnancy. I feel like my husband and son deserve a more attentive and engaging mother who is willing to play with him for 8+ hours/day and do crafts/art/fun things but the truth is I am TIRED of having my entire day and free time devoted to my son and his ever constant demands.

Everything is just a constant struggle - eating, potty training, getting in or out of the bath, going to sleep, leaving the park or leaving any kind of activity.

I'm 32. I've had a migraine for a week and my husband is very patient, loving and attentive. I am alone with my son today and just hate it. I have tried SSRI's and therapy but found the SSRI's caused weight gain and decreased libido. I'm withdrawing from one SSRI this week. The worst part is I can't have my husband watch him for any period of time without my son screaming MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY, if he gets hurt he refuses to let his Dad comfort him. It's just ... constant. I just always feel like I want to run away or cry. This isn't how I imagined motherhood.

In the teen years, your niece will be a terror and your son will be chill.

Girls are easier to raise as young children than boys.

Boys are easier to raise as teens than girls.

A generalization, yes, but based in some reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Neuropsych eval

He doesn’t need a psychiatrist. He needs a mom who says NO and needs it. The child is simply spoiled and has learned he gets what he wants by screaming and acting like a PIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds awful - but I am just exhausted.

I have one 2 y/o and work full-time. It is exhausting meeting his needs - it's just constant demands for attention and tantrums. He will ask for food that he likes then immediately hates it when I bring it out. This morning he has pooped x6 and it's like this every morning. We've talked to his pediatrician and she says it's normal. He screams if I suggest trying the potty. Every food that I offer is "yucky", this morning he woke up at 5AM and ran out to his toy room and immediately began and tantrum when he couldn't' find a specific garbage truck toy.

He is just constantly running and bumping into things, he ran into the couch at full-speed. He screams if he sees an ant. He is so high energy and demanding. We take him to the park, zoo, museum, playdates, outside play for hours on end but its NEVER enough - when its time to leave it's just screaming meltdowns. I am embarassed at his behavior and blame myself for how he acts wondering if there's something i'm doing wrong.

My sisters daughter will just sit quietly and play by herself and sit on my sisters lap and read books. My son is just so much, all the time. It has completley turned me off from having another child and i'm considering having my tubes tied to prevent another pregnancy. I feel like my husband and son deserve a more attentive and engaging mother who is willing to play with him for 8+ hours/day and do crafts/art/fun things but the truth is I am TIRED of having my entire day and free time devoted to my son and his ever constant demands.

Everything is just a constant struggle - eating, potty training, getting in or out of the bath, going to sleep, leaving the park or leaving any kind of activity.

I'm 32. I've had a migraine for a week and my husband is very patient, loving and attentive. I am alone with my son today and just hate it. I have tried SSRI's and therapy but found the SSRI's caused weight gain and decreased libido. I'm withdrawing from one SSRI this week. The worst part is I can't have my husband watch him for any period of time without my son screaming MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY, if he gets hurt he refuses to let his Dad comfort him. It's just ... constant. I just always feel like I want to run away or cry. This isn't how I imagined motherhood.

In the teen years, your niece will be a terror and your son will be chill.

Girls are easier to raise as young children than boys.

Boys are easier to raise as teens than girls.

A generalization, yes, but based in some reality.

This is only if you can ignore male violence and other troubling behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neuropsych eval

He doesn’t need a psychiatrist. He needs a mom who says NO and needs it. The child is simply spoiled and has learned he gets what he wants by screaming and acting like a PIA.

Maybe but it's worth keeping an eye on. OP, my DD was very much like this at the same age but grew out of it. Is still a little hyper, attention-seeking and volatile when she doesn't get her way, but totally manageable now at age 10. In her case, purely temperament. I agree with PPs who say strict boundaries are essential.

Hang in there, OP! I hated the toddler years with a passion. It gets (much) better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds awful - but I am just exhausted.

I have one 2 y/o and work full-time. It is exhausting meeting his needs - it's just constant demands for attention and tantrums. He will ask for food that he likes then immediately hates it when I bring it out. This morning he has pooped x6 and it's like this every morning. We've talked to his pediatrician and she says it's normal. He screams if I suggest trying the potty. Every food that I offer is "yucky", this morning he woke up at 5AM and ran out to his toy room and immediately began and tantrum when he couldn't' find a specific garbage truck toy.

He is just constantly running and bumping into things, he ran into the couch at full-speed. He screams if he sees an ant. He is so high energy and demanding. We take him to the park, zoo, museum, playdates, outside play for hours on end but its NEVER enough - when its time to leave it's just screaming meltdowns. I am embarassed at his behavior and blame myself for how he acts wondering if there's something i'm doing wrong.

My sisters daughter will just sit quietly and play by herself and sit on my sisters lap and read books. My son is just so much, all the time. It has completley turned me off from having another child and i'm considering having my tubes tied to prevent another pregnancy. I feel like my husband and son deserve a more attentive and engaging mother who is willing to play with him for 8+ hours/day and do crafts/art/fun things but the truth is I am TIRED of having my entire day and free time devoted to my son and his ever constant demands.

Everything is just a constant struggle - eating, potty training, getting in or out of the bath, going to sleep, leaving the park or leaving any kind of activity.

I'm 32. I've had a migraine for a week and my husband is very patient, loving and attentive. I am alone with my son today and just hate it. I have tried SSRI's and therapy but found the SSRI's caused weight gain and decreased libido. I'm withdrawing from one SSRI this week. The worst part is I can't have my husband watch him for any period of time without my son screaming MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY, if he gets hurt he refuses to let his Dad comfort him. It's just ... constant. I just always feel like I want to run away or cry. This isn't how I imagined motherhood.

In the teen years, your niece will be a terror and your son will be chill.

Girls are easier to raise as young children than boys.

Boys are easier to raise as teens than girls.

A generalization, yes, but based in some reality.

I’m a OP with a difficult older child with multiple diagnoses and an typical younger child. My kid who needs extra help is a girl and my typical one is a boy. These generalizations are really really not useful and contribute to boys not getting the help they need early enough AND girls being vilified for being active when younger. If you and your child are struggling do NOT assume they will grow out of it and be an easy teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds awful - but I am just exhausted.

I have one 2 y/o and work full-time. It is exhausting meeting his needs - it's just constant demands for attention and tantrums. He will ask for food that he likes then immediately hates it when I bring it out. This morning he has pooped x6 and it's like this every morning. We've talked to his pediatrician and she says it's normal. He screams if I suggest trying the potty. Every food that I offer is "yucky", this morning he woke up at 5AM and ran out to his toy room and immediately began and tantrum when he couldn't' find a specific garbage truck toy.

He is just constantly running and bumping into things, he ran into the couch at full-speed. He screams if he sees an ant. He is so high energy and demanding. We take him to the park, zoo, museum, playdates, outside play for hours on end but its NEVER enough - when its time to leave it's just screaming meltdowns. I am embarassed at his behavior and blame myself for how he acts wondering if there's something i'm doing wrong.

My sisters daughter will just sit quietly and play by herself and sit on my sisters lap and read books. My son is just so much, all the time. It has completley turned me off from having another child and i'm considering having my tubes tied to prevent another pregnancy. I feel like my husband and son deserve a more attentive and engaging mother who is willing to play with him for 8+ hours/day and do crafts/art/fun things but the truth is I am TIRED of having my entire day and free time devoted to my son and his ever constant demands.

Everything is just a constant struggle - eating, potty training, getting in or out of the bath, going to sleep, leaving the park or leaving any kind of activity.

I'm 32. I've had a migraine for a week and my husband is very patient, loving and attentive. I am alone with my son today and just hate it. I have tried SSRI's and therapy but found the SSRI's caused weight gain and decreased libido. I'm withdrawing from one SSRI this week. The worst part is I can't have my husband watch him for any period of time without my son screaming MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY, if he gets hurt he refuses to let his Dad comfort him. It's just ... constant. I just always feel like I want to run away or cry. This isn't how I imagined motherhood.

In the teen years, your niece will be a terror and your son will be chill.

Girls are easier to raise as young children than boys.

Boys are easier to raise as teens than girls.

A generalization, yes, but based in some reality.

I’m a OP with a difficult older child with multiple diagnoses and an typical younger child. My kid who needs extra help is a girl and my typical one is a boy. These generalizations are really really not useful and contribute to boys not getting the help they need early enough AND girls being vilified for being active when younger. If you and your child are struggling do NOT assume they will grow out of it and be an easy teen.

Sorry that should be PP not Op

[Anonymous]

Is he on any kind of schedule? It sounds like maybe he needs more structure and calmer activities to focus on.