Sister in Moscow - should I pressure her to leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russians are more resilient than us toward financial hardship. They are also deeply nationalistic and anti-western. My guess is that the parents and husband have no interest in leaving. All you can do is keep the communication gates open in case they do end up wanting some help.

OP here: Yes, this is exactly the case. My sister's FIL is a retired RU submarine captain with strong nationalistic tendencies. He and the MIL have no interest in leaving and, as far as I can tell (we are very hesitant with email communications), support Russia's war against Ukraine. But it is terrible to think that my sister is resigned to a life of economic hardship and isolation because of her inlaws' allegiances. It just sucks all around. I can't help her and so much want to help her.

But what does your sister think? Is she willing to leave the in laws behind?

Nope. She's not willing to leave them behind; neither is her husband. That's the crux of the issue.

Then it's not her inlaws allegiances, it's hers.

+1 op, if she’s already stated this to you, I’m not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. There is no ‘issue’. She has chosen to live there, marry someone there, and support her in laws there. I don’t understand the ‘issue’.

Op here. The issue is that I love her (and her child) and do not want them to suffer. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russians are more resilient than us toward financial hardship. They are also deeply nationalistic and anti-western. My guess is that the parents and husband have no interest in leaving. All you can do is keep the communication gates open in case they do end up wanting some help.

OP here: Yes, this is exactly the case. My sister's FIL is a retired RU submarine captain with strong nationalistic tendencies. He and the MIL have no interest in leaving and, as far as I can tell (we are very hesitant with email communications), support Russia's war against Ukraine. But it is terrible to think that my sister is resigned to a life of economic hardship and isolation because of her inlaws' allegiances. It just sucks all around. I can't help her and so much want to help her.

But what does your sister think? Is she willing to leave the in laws behind?

Nope. She's not willing to leave them behind; neither is her husband. That's the crux of the issue.

Then it's not her inlaws allegiances, it's hers.

+1 op, if she’s already stated this to you, I’m not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. There is no ‘issue’. She has chosen to live there, marry someone there, and support her in laws there. I don’t understand the ‘issue’.

Op here. The issue is that I love her (and her child) and do not want them to suffer. That's all.

Does her child have other citizenship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russians are more resilient than us toward financial hardship. They are also deeply nationalistic and anti-western. My guess is that the parents and husband have no interest in leaving. All you can do is keep the communication gates open in case they do end up wanting some help.

OP here: Yes, this is exactly the case. My sister's FIL is a retired RU submarine captain with strong nationalistic tendencies. He and the MIL have no interest in leaving and, as far as I can tell (we are very hesitant with email communications), support Russia's war against Ukraine. But it is terrible to think that my sister is resigned to a life of economic hardship and isolation because of her inlaws' allegiances. It just sucks all around. I can't help her and so much want to help her.

But what does your sister think? Is she willing to leave the in laws behind?

Nope. She's not willing to leave them behind; neither is her husband. That's the crux of the issue.

Then it's not her inlaws allegiances, it's hers.

+1 op, if she’s already stated this to you, I’m not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. There is no ‘issue’. She has chosen to live there, marry someone there, and support her in laws there. I don’t understand the ‘issue’.

Op here. The issue is that I love her (and her child) and do not want them to suffer. That's all.

Does her child have other citizenship?

Yes, US. My sister has UK and US citizenship as well. We have a complicated family history...oy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russians are more resilient than us toward financial hardship. They are also deeply nationalistic and anti-western. My guess is that the parents and husband have no interest in leaving. All you can do is keep the communication gates open in case they do end up wanting some help.

OP here: Yes, this is exactly the case. My sister's FIL is a retired RU submarine captain with strong nationalistic tendencies. He and the MIL have no interest in leaving and, as far as I can tell (we are very hesitant with email communications), support Russia's war against Ukraine. But it is terrible to think that my sister is resigned to a life of economic hardship and isolation because of her inlaws' allegiances. It just sucks all around. I can't help her and so much want to help her.

But what does your sister think? Is she willing to leave the in laws behind?

Nope. She's not willing to leave them behind; neither is her husband. That's the crux of the issue.

Then it's not her inlaws allegiances, it's hers.

+1 op, if she’s already stated this to you, I’m not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. There is no ‘issue’. She has chosen to live there, marry someone there, and support her in laws there. I don’t understand the ‘issue’.

Op here. The issue is that I love her (and her child) and do not want them to suffer. That's all.

Does her child have other citizenship?

Yes, US. My sister has UK and US citizenship as well. We have a complicated family history...oy.

Well that is good. Although if the husband isn’t willing to leave, he may not allow the wife to leave with the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

Not true. They should train to Finland or fly to turkey ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

Not true. They should train to Finland or fly to turkey ASAP

This. It's just a matter of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

Not true. They should train to Finland or fly to turkey ASAP

This. It's just a matter of time.

OP has said they are not leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russians are more resilient than us toward financial hardship. They are also deeply nationalistic and anti-western. My guess is that the parents and husband have no interest in leaving. All you can do is keep the communication gates open in case they do end up wanting some help.

OP here: Yes, this is exactly the case. My sister's FIL is a retired RU submarine captain with strong nationalistic tendencies. He and the MIL have no interest in leaving and, as far as I can tell (we are very hesitant with email communications), support Russia's war against Ukraine. But it is terrible to think that my sister is resigned to a life of economic hardship and isolation because of her inlaws' allegiances. It just sucks all around. I can't help her and so much want to help her.

But what does your sister think? Is she willing to leave the in laws behind?

Nope. She's not willing to leave them behind; neither is her husband. That's the crux of the issue.

Then it's not her inlaws allegiances, it's hers.

+1 op, if she’s already stated this to you, I’m not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. There is no ‘issue’. She has chosen to live there, marry someone there, and support her in laws there. I don’t understand the ‘issue’.

Op here. The issue is that I love her (and her child) and do not want them to suffer. That's all.

I get it. You'll probably have to decide whether you're willing to send them money. Surely they will need it eventually.

But she's an adult and this is what she's choosing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

That faulty logic applies to Ukrainians fleeting the country. what a stupid comment PP.

Oh wow. What a moron to draw such a comparison!

See? That’s what you get for saying stupid things idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

That faulty logic applies to Ukrainians fleeting the country. what a stupid comment PP.

Oh wow. What a moron to draw such a comparison!

See? That’s what you get for saying stupid things idiot.

You took it too far PP and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do what the other pp have said. Tell her you are worried about her and her family. Tell you you will help her leave and will help her find a place to live. But if she decides to stay the offer is always available and that you will pray for all of her family (including her husband and in-laws)

If it was my sister then I'd do this plus offer her a place for her, her husband and her kids to live. I wouldn't be excited about hosting the in laws too, but if my sister asked, I'd say yes. But we have a large house with an in law suite.

The in-laws are Russian citizens. They won’t be allowed into the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Russians are more resilient than us toward financial hardship. They are also deeply nationalistic and anti-western. My guess is that the parents and husband have no interest in leaving. All you can do is keep the communication gates open in case they do end up wanting some help.

OP here: Yes, this is exactly the case. My sister's FIL is a retired RU submarine captain with strong nationalistic tendencies. He and the MIL have no interest in leaving and, as far as I can tell (we are very hesitant with email communications), support Russia's war against Ukraine. But it is terrible to think that my sister is resigned to a life of economic hardship and isolation because of her inlaws' allegiances. It just sucks all around. I can't help her and so much want to help her.

But what does your sister think? Is she willing to leave the in laws behind?

Nope. She's not willing to leave them behind; neither is her husband. That's the crux of the issue.

Then it's not her inlaws allegiances, it's hers.

+1 op, if she’s already stated this to you, I’m not sure what you are hoping to accomplish. There is no ‘issue’. She has chosen to live there, marry someone there, and support her in laws there. I don’t understand the ‘issue’.

Op here. The issue is that I love her (and her child) and do not want them to suffer. That's all.

Your sister is an adult and is making her decisions.

[Anonymous]

I'd let her know that you'd be willing to take in her daughter, even if it means flying to somewhere in Europe to pick her up. Even if she's not ready to leave, she might want to have the option open for her child down the road.

[Anonymous]

OP, your sister is not a newlywed. Has it occurred to you that she might not want to leave her family of almost 30 years behind?

[Anonymous]

Her husband should be able to get into the US as the spouse of an American citizen.