Sister in Moscow - should I pressure her to leave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do what the other pp have said. Tell her you are worried about her and her family. Tell you you will help her leave and will help her find a place to live. But if she decides to stay the offer is always available and that you will pray for all of her family (including her husband and in-laws)

If it was my sister then I'd do this plus offer her a place for her, her husband and her kids to live. I wouldn't be excited about hosting the in laws too, but if my sister asked, I'd say yes. But we have a large house with an in law suite.

I assume it will be impossible for Russians without another passport to get a visa to come to the US. I don't think the issue is OP's reluctance to host the inlaws but more likely that the inlaws can't land in any Western country at the moment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you/your family in a position to host your sister/family if they'd like to come to the US? If so, tell her that you are willing to host.

It can be very tough for families b/c the working age people might want to leave for their own sakes and the sake of their children, but they also have parents or other elderly relatives for whom a move abroad is not practical or feasible.

Unless her husband and inlaws are dual citizens, she’d have to leave them. And her daughter would need a foreign passport to leave which is probably impossible to get at this point. It’s going to be an no-win situation.

[Anonymous]

Since seh has both a Russian passport (or residence permit?) and an EU passport, she can travel freely between the EU and Russia. Sure, many flights are cancelled, but she can easily take the train or bus to Finland or the Baltics.

In other words, she can easily leave if she wants to. She has chosen not to. Respect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would tell her "I want you to leave. I want you to take Niece and get out now while you can. I will help monetarily and with logistics. All you have to do is say the word. Please let me help you stay alive. Call or text any time day or night if it's a green-light on this. I love you and want you to live."

And then I'd cry worrying she wouldn't tell me to jump into action but I'd let her be. This has to be her decision.

This. Offer financial help. Offer to help her husband and in laws. This is an emergency. But she also has to make the choice on her own. It’s easier to do when you know you may have a soft landing somewhere.

Her husband may not be received well in many places.

[Anonymous]

Honestly she is safer there than she would be in other parts of Europe. Even if this escalates, US/Nato isn't going to attack Russian civilians. She's made her bed, and has to ride this out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

They are not closed right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

That faulty logic applies to Ukrainians fleeting the country. what a stupid comment PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

They aren't. There are lots or reports of Russians fleeing to neighboring countries.

npr.org/2022/03/10/1085699224/thousands-of-russians-have-fled-afraid-a-new-iron-curtain-will-fall

[Anonymous]

OP we are in the same boat except it is my brother. He has been there since graduating college and married my lovely SIL. Luckily my nephews had to return to school in late Jan here in US and my brother brought them over then stayed with my parents until mid-Feb. Things were looking bad so he decided to stay and tried to get my SIL to come but she has an elderly mother and disabled sister she didn't want to leave in Moscow. Things are so bad there now with the economy that she made her way to Korea on her US passport. It took her 4 days just to get there and then got on flight to US. My brother is now unemployed and any money they had in Russia is gone. He was smart in investing outside of Russia and will hopefully be ok but they need to send money back to my SIL's mother and sister since the Russian people are feeling the sanctions the most.

Until she really feels the pain she won't leave. I think like my SIL it will be the pressure to send money back to her inlaws which will make her leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sister, married to a Russian citizen, with a Russian daughter, who has been living in Moscow since 1993. She's long been employed by an US-based corporation that has announced it is suspending its operations in RU. She's lost access to most of her bank accounts and credit cards, and life is getting increasingly difficult for her.

I'd love to convince her to take her family to Europe or the US (we have EU citizenship as well as American), but she's stuck in place because she lives with her in-laws, who are Russian citizens and will not relocate. My family is in general freaking out, wondering when we'll be able to see her again, how safe she'll be, what she's doing to her professional reputation, etc., but on the other hand: it's her life, not ours.

What would you do in this situation? Back off and mind our own business, or continue to try to convince her to leave with her husband and child?

Honestly, I can't believe this is even a question. If this were my sister, I would be on the phone/ text/ email constantly, urging her to get out now while she can. And doing everything I could to help.

[Anonymous]

I can't tell if leaving is a possibility here. Is Russia allowing citizens free travel out of the country at the moment? If so I'd tell her to get to Europe and I'd help her figure something out from there, including assisting financially. Is it possible for her family to come straight to the US? I'd tell her to get on the next plane moving and she could live in my house.

If she's not leaving because her daughter is a Russian citizen and therefore cannot leave, I would understand that and be terrified for her but not put extra pressure on her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

That faulty logic applies to Ukrainians fleeting the country. what a stupid comment PP.

Oh wow. What a moron to draw such a comparison!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister has had years to leave. It’s her choice to stay in that country. Let her be.

She has a family there.

And? It’s her choice to remain there. Having a family there isn’t going to make her magically leave now.

This. It's like wanting to leave Nazi German in 1943. A little late now.

It's not too late though. I hope your sister and her kids get out of there.

You really think the Russian government is going to still let people leave? Especially their citizens? I would assume the borders are closed at this point.

They are not closed right now.

My friend and her husband and toddler got out on March 10th. Not in a direct way, but with trains, fights, waiting, more trains and flights, but they got out. They left unwashed dishes in the sink and barely had time to ask a friend to pet-sit. When they got to their new location they immediately pulled all their money out of the bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP we are in the same boat except it is my brother. He has been there since graduating college and married my lovely SIL. Luckily my nephews had to return to school in late Jan here in US and my brother brought them over then stayed with my parents until mid-Feb. Things were looking bad so he decided to stay and tried to get my SIL to come but she has an elderly mother and disabled sister she didn't want to leave in Moscow. Things are so bad there now with the economy that she made her way to Korea on her US passport. It took her 4 days just to get there and then got on flight to US. My brother is now unemployed and any money they had in Russia is gone. He was smart in investing outside of Russia and will hopefully be ok but they need to send money back to my SIL's mother and sister since the Russian people are feeling the sanctions the most.

Until she really feels the pain she won't leave. I think like my SIL it will be the pressure to send money back to her inlaws which will make her leave.

wait, so your SIL is now in the US but her mother and sister are still in Russia?