Dating someone with ED

[Anonymous]

Is HE bothered if he doesn't get off easily all the time? I'm in a long-term relationship with a wonderful guy who's also around 60. He has some degree of ED, but he doesn't need meds all the time, only to be more consistent and long-lasting. That's the reality once you hit a certain age. Another reality is that there is loss of sensitivity with age and more difficulty in climaxing, for both sexes. For me, it happened after menopause. We have a very exciting, fun, active sex life even if there are plenty of times that either one or neither one of us finishes. That's simply how it is for many people after a certain age. Neither of us is bothered at all, nor do we take it personally if we can't "get the other off" all the time. That's something you have to accept if you want to keep having fun sex past a certain age. The sex changes and fewer climaxes are part of that.

So you have to decide if that's something you can accept and get over (not being able to "get him off" all the time). Right now, it seems like that is a "him" issue, but at a certain point it will be an issue with most guys (unless you stick to younger guys) and it even might be an issue with you. The way I see it, this is a current, temporary mismatch. Chances are you will "catch up" with him in a few years, in terms of lowered sexual response. Or, you will start seeing this more and more as you get older if you keep dating guys close to your age. Only you can decide if this is something you can deal with right now or you'd rather postpone the sexual "disfunction" until you're older. Bottom line - that's what's coming in a few years anyway. Can you accept and learn to deal with it now or do you want a few more years of sex with guys that are better matched to your current sexual state?

[Anonymous]

Again thank you. I’m divorced but was married to someone six years younger so this is really all new territory for me. I see it as, well I could need a mastectomy in 5-10 years and I certainly wouldn’t feel it spelled the end of my sex life and would hope it wouldn’t for him either.

[Anonymous]

Google

“Muse”. for ED.

There are alternatives to injections .

[Anonymous]

No way! I have never met anyone with ED issues so it’s a deal breaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way! I have never met anyone with ED issues so it’s a deal breaker.

You sound like a wonderful person

[Anonymous]

This guy sounds pretty awesome OP so I hope you can get the info you need to have a satisfying sex life with him.

I was in a relationship with a guy in his 40s who needed viagra to have sex. The thing about viagra, in case you didn't know, is that once they take it they could go all night and again the next morning before it wears off. I guess injections don't work like that?

I'm telling you that just in case you decide to move on from this guy, as others have said it's likely most guys over 50 will have ED issues, but if viagra works for them they will easily be able to satisfy your desire to keep going all night long.

[Anonymous]

Vibererect! It works

[Anonymous]

Wait until menopause - you’ll be perfect for each other.

[Anonymous]

If he can get it up, does it matter to you how he got turgid? As long as he's able to use it, what's the problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL OP. Many women would love to have him. They are stuck having sex with guys they aren't attracted to. Or simply aren't interested in sex.

What about the bigger things in the relationship OP? You know like communication, does he treat you well, is he financially sound, and you know....the real meat and potatoes of the relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This. I’d be fine with a guy who is great at foreplay but can’t always have actual intercourse. I prefer foreplay anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it's a pretty big deal. The wanting for sex is a strong urge.
Once you do the injection, is at all good from there? If it is, that's a positive.

That's my question as well - do the injections work? My DH has suffered from ED for a while because of a medical condition. Pills/injections don't work for him. It's not what I ever envisioned for us (we both have/had strong sex drives and our sex life was great) but we'd been married 20 years and he was a great partner. We do other stuff so our intimacy remains strong - and our communication around it was pretty good and that made a huge difference. I'm okay where we are because ED is part of 'the package' and what I like about 'the package' far outweighs the parts I don't. Only you can decide if this guy has enough positive things in his 'package'. What if the injections stop working?

They do work, see below.

I would find it pretty difficult if they stopped working and so would he. I would feel inadequate and it would weigh on me if I couldn’t reciprocate in giving him orgasms. His other skills are outstanding but it doesn’t leave me a lot of options to get even.

I'm the PP with the DH with ED. This is a 'you' issue. I don't mean this in a snarky way so please don't take it that way - you need to work on this. Yes, orgasms are great but when a medical condition impacts one's ability to have one, it shouldn't be taken personally. Your feelings of inadequacies regarding his medical condition shouldn't require him to give you reassurances and make you feel better.

My DH and I can't have PIV but we still enjoy a sex life. I know he finds me very attractive and I find him attractive. We have found other ways to pleasure each other and maintain intimacy. If you think the only way you can give a guy sexual pleasure is through PIV and orgasm, you are limited in your imagination. As a PP said, despite what's going on in The Villages in FL, the vast majority of men will experience age related performance issues. Whether you end up with this guy or not, you need to wrap your head around the idea that this will not be the last time you experience this.

[Anonymous]

Depends on your sex drive

[Anonymous]

He's in his 60's, give him a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's in his 60's, give him a break!

I have, clearly. It’s been a few days since we were together and my body is still thinking about him/toes are still curled so it’s clearly not a dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this has to do with how you see sex. If being ravished 3-5 times a night is the be all and end all for you, quite honestly you will find the pool of partners who can do this diminishing to nil soon as you yourself are in your 50s. You are also about to go through menopause (since you mention you haven’t already) — so at most you have what, a few more years of this mismatch?

Personally to me having a lover who is in tune with me emotionally and sensually is a much bigger deal than having a particular kind or quantity of intercourse. It doesn’t sound as if this has diminished his passion or interest in sex. Only you can decide but I don’t see why this couldn’t work.

Thank you. He loves sex is just worried that he won’t be enough for me.

OP. He’s worried bc it’s true. He’s not enough for you or you wouldn’t have posted this thread. Personally, you sound exhausting and way too consumed with your own pleasure.

Honestly, that would be a non issue dating at that age. Sorry but there's soooo much more to a relationship. OP hasn't answered much so I'm thinking this could be a troll thread.