Dating someone with ED

[Anonymous]

OP you'll likely have medical issues as you age. Honestly, this is a nonissue compared to other aspects in a relationship.

How is everything else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL OP. Many women would love to have him. They are stuck having sex with guys they aren't attracted to. Or simply aren't interested in sex.

What about the bigger things in the relationship OP? You know like communication, does he treat you well, is he financially sound, and you know....the real meat and potatoes of the relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bolded has absolutely no bearing on OP's situation - and, it's not funny.

It is funny considering many women can't find truly good men, yet she rates this #1. Often women who date find out they cheat, have financial issues, have horrible kids, or they simply can't find a match. If OP puts this at the top of the list that may be one reason she is not married. Or can't find someone long term. Further lol is the fact she's in her 50s and doesn't realize her biology will change as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL OP. Many women would love to have him. They are stuck having sex with guys they aren't attracted to. Or simply aren't interested in sex.

What about the bigger things in the relationship OP? You know like communication, does he treat you well, is he financially sound, and you know....the real meat and potatoes of the relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bolded has absolutely no bearing on OP's situation - and, it's not funny.

It is funny considering many women can't find truly good men, yet she rates this #1. Often women who date find out they cheat, have financial issues, have horrible kids, or they simply can't find a match. If OP puts this at the top of the list that may be one reason she is not married. Or can't find someone long term. Further lol is the fact she's in her 50s and doesn't realize her biology will change as well.

Where did she say that she rates this #1 or at the top of the list?
She said it's important and was asking other's opinions. Yours is really not helpful at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he’s not less masculine because he has ED. You need to start reframing men in terms of the state of their penis.

The newsflash for you might be that this is going to be very common in your age cohort, and anyone older.

It sounds like he’s dealing with it with injections, and that’s a good thing. His inability to get an erection has nothing to do with you or his desire for you, it’s a physiological issue that he can deal with.

You might want to start exploring and adding other things that aren’t PIV into your lexicon and routine because there are MANY things you can do together that will bring pleasure both ways.

I also want to point out that you’re not menopausal yet, but you will be, and you’ll see that you don’t have the control over your physiology the way you’d like. You may find that things you can learn from this partner will help you then.

Omg could you be anymore patronizing? I *started out* by praising his overall masculinity and all-around skills why are you addressing me like you are the only person who knows there is more to life than PIV?[/quote

Your first sentence: he is otherwise so masculine. Yeah, not exactly praise.

And you seem to be so hung up about a 60 year old male body working as is likely, that I felt the need to tell you that you do actually have other options. You may also not realize that in a few years, PIV may not work for *you* for a period of time.

You should maybe move along and let him find someone who accepts wholly what he has to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he’s not less masculine because he has ED. You need to start reframing men in terms of the state of their penis.

The newsflash for you might be that this is going to be very common in your age cohort, and anyone older.

It sounds like he’s dealing with it with injections, and that’s a good thing. His inability to get an erection has nothing to do with you or his desire for you, it’s a physiological issue that he can deal with.

You might want to start exploring and adding other things that aren’t PIV into your lexicon and routine because there are MANY things you can do together that will bring pleasure both ways.

I also want to point out that you’re not menopausal yet, but you will be, and you’ll see that you don’t have the control over your physiology the way you’d like. You may find that things you can learn from this partner will help you then.

Omg could you be anymore patronizing? I *started out* by praising his overall masculinity and all-around skills why are you addressing me like you are the only person who knows there is more to life than PIV?[/quote

Your first sentence: he is otherwise so masculine. Yeah, not exactly praise.

And you seem to be so hung up about a 60 year old male body working as is likely, that I felt the need to tell you that you do actually have other options. You may also not realize that in a few years, PIV may not work for *you* for a period of time.

You should maybe move along and let him find someone who accepts wholly what he has to offer.

You are totally misreading what I wrote. And weirdly invested in your own perceived superiority. Could you desist commenting in this conversation as it is unhelpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, he’s not less masculine because he has ED. You need to start reframing men in terms of the state of their penis.

The newsflash for you might be that this is going to be very common in your age cohort, and anyone older.

It sounds like he’s dealing with it with injections, and that’s a good thing. His inability to get an erection has nothing to do with you or his desire for you, it’s a physiological issue that he can deal with.

You might want to start exploring and adding other things that aren’t PIV into your lexicon and routine because there are MANY things you can do together that will bring pleasure both ways.

I also want to point out that you’re not menopausal yet, but you will be, and you’ll see that you don’t have the control over your physiology the way you’d like. You may find that things you can learn from this partner will help you then.

Omg could you be anymore patronizing? I *started out* by praising his overall masculinity and all-around skills why are you addressing me like you are the only person who knows there is more to life than PIV?

So what are you looking for? What is it about dating someone with ED that you need to know? It really only affects PIV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it's a pretty big deal. The wanting for sex is a strong urge.
Once you do the injection, is at all good from there? If it is, that's a positive.

It’s okay—not as large as I think it would otherwise be (his other dimensions would lead you to expect an above-average size penis), and some decreased sensitivity that makes my job more labor-intensive, but it does last about an hour. I am someone who could go all night and 3-5 times a session so I guess it’s good he excels in other areas and perhaps will overcompensate. Rest of relationship is so far good.

I don't think PP was asking you about the size. It sounds like this aspect of him is extremely important to you. Nothing wrong with being a person for whom the package is a big part of the package. But that will make things less fun and enjoyable all around. And probably take away from your overall experience, and eventually his. If traditional concepts of masculinity, including virility, are important to you, you may find the respect eroding. Spare both of you this process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say it's a pretty big deal. The wanting for sex is a strong urge.
Once you do the injection, is at all good from there? If it is, that's a positive.

It’s okay—not as large as I think it would otherwise be (his other dimensions would lead you to expect an above-average size penis), and some decreased sensitivity that makes my job more labor-intensive, but it does last about an hour. I am someone who could go all night and 3-5 times a session so I guess it’s good he excels in other areas and perhaps will overcompensate. Rest of relationship is so far good.

I don't think PP was asking you about the size. It sounds like this aspect of him is extremely important to you. Nothing wrong with being a person for whom the package is a big part of the package. But that will make things less fun and enjoyable all around. And probably take away from your overall experience, and eventually his. If traditional concepts of masculinity, including virility, are important to you, you may find the respect eroding. Spare both of you this process.

It has nothing to do with how much I respect him, which is a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is otherwise so masculine and really turns me on but due to a surgery has pretty severe ED. WWYD. Can get it up with medical assistance (injections) but needless to say I was not expecting this. Don’t want to hurt his feelings and was totally accepting and supportive about it. We’re all only mortal after all. But, it’s a lot. He is otherwise fantastic at foreplay/other stuff.

Oof. Not a good look, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is otherwise so masculine and really turns me on but due to a surgery has pretty severe ED. WWYD. Can get it up with medical assistance (injections) but needless to say I was not expecting this. Don’t want to hurt his feelings and was totally accepting and supportive about it. We’re all only mortal after all. But, it’s a lot. He is otherwise fantastic at foreplay/other stuff.

Oof. Not a good look, OP.

Phrased this way bc he himself told me it affects his sense of his own masculinity. Obviously I assured him that there is more to his masculinity than his or is, and that he is extremely appealing in that regard.

[Anonymous]

^than his penis

[Anonymous]

If he’s willing and skillful at pleasing you multiple ways, I don’t see the problem. But. ED does not improve over time. Can you feel fulfilled and connected without traditional piv?

Have had a few partners with ED. Some kept my toes curled more so than ones without the challenge, others were very much about getting the D to work and I felt like a prop. My favorite lover had ED. Multiples every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s willing and skillful at pleasing you multiple ways, I don’t see the problem. But. ED does not improve over time. Can you feel fulfilled and connected without traditional piv?

Have had a few partners with ED. Some kept my toes curled more so than ones without the challenge, others were very much about getting the D to work and I felt like a prop. My favorite lover had ED. Multiples every time.

My favorite had Peyronie’s and talk about things you didn’t expect.

[Anonymous]

If there is no tongue impairment what's the problem?

[Anonymous]

It’s up to you really. If PIV is important to you, I’d date someone younger without health issues. If his other qualities make up for the ED, start finding things that can work for both of you sexually. But I don’t think sticking with him and trying to find a solution will work out for you since it’s hard to treat and impossible in some cases.