The Movie Star and Me - supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal

[Anonymous]

I was in a notel and caught like 5 minutes of a dumb reality that show. In it, some hot French guy was visiting wherever and trying to hook up with this hot younger woman. To the camera aside, she’s saying how much she likes him and expressing how she wants to be his girlfriend. Cut back to them fooling around and he explicitly says that he’s just fooling around and of course it’s not like they’re in some relationship since they just met and he’s taking off soon but they can have some fun. And what does the young woman say “Oh, yeah, totally. Of course we just met, nothing serious!” Or something like that. I think woman need to be honest with themselves about what they want. There’s a lot of social pressure to be like men and just want some hot sex with a hot body with no commitment. If that’s what you want, that’s totally fine. If it’s not want you want, that’s also fine! Both sides need to be more clear—but I think often they men are pretty clear and the women are speaking in some code that they think means one thing, but the men don’t have the right translator ring.
I would like to use this article and the aziz ansari one to lead a discussion group with my teen daughter….but I am quite sure she’d refuse to do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in a notel and caught like 5 minutes of a dumb reality that show. In it, some hot French guy was visiting wherever and trying to hook up with this hot younger woman. To the camera aside, she’s saying how much she likes him and expressing how she wants to be his girlfriend. Cut back to them fooling around and he explicitly says that he’s just fooling around and of course it’s not like they’re in some relationship since they just met and he’s taking off soon but they can have some fun. And what does the young woman say “Oh, yeah, totally. Of course we just met, nothing serious!” Or something like that. I think woman need to be honest with themselves about what they want. There’s a lot of social pressure to be like men and just want some hot sex with a hot body with no commitment. If that’s what you want, that’s totally fine. If it’s not want you want, that’s also fine! Both sides need to be more clear—but I think often they men are pretty clear and the women are speaking in some code that they think means one thing, but the men don’t have the right translator ring.
I would like to use this article and the aziz ansari one to lead a discussion group with my teen daughter….but I am quite sure she’d refuse to do it!

This article and the aziz ansari article have very little in common.
This girl was pimped out by her mentor and boss. She was pursued for months.
The blow job isn’t the point.
Everyone in her orbit was using her.
Young women are valued for what they are. Young men are valued for what they will become.
The world values not only the beauty of young women, but also their naïveté.
It’s such a better deal for everyone that when women are the most valuable, they are the least experienced.
Well it’s great deal for everyone except young women.

I work in the industry and most posters here just have no clue what it’s like to be singled out by someone like JG.
It’s not even similar to being “love bombed”. Actors are a different breed.
It just an entirely different situation when the leading man only has eyes for you.
Expecting a virgin 23 year old to manage that situation is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I read a recent interview with Maggie Gyllenhaal about her new movie and she came off as incredibly pretentious. Sickeningly so. But I have to admit, I kept thinking of Taylor Swift's song about Jake and the family in forming that opinion. lol. Not sure what that says about me, but there it is. *Note: not a died in the wool Swifty.

[Anonymous]

So kids can sign up for the military at 17 but some of you think the author of this piece is a 'child'. I am so tired of this 'power imbalance' theory. Take some responsibility for your own behavior, woman. You can legally smoke, drink, marry, procreate, sign a contract. I don't want to hear any more of your crying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So kids can sign up for the military at 17 but some of you think the author of this piece is a 'child'. I am so tired of this 'power imbalance' theory. Take some responsibility for your own behavior, woman. You can legally smoke, drink, marry, procreate, sign a contract. I don't want to hear any more of your crying.

You don't believe in power imbalances in the workplace? You are blind to the world then friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a notel and caught like 5 minutes of a dumb reality that show. In it, some hot French guy was visiting wherever and trying to hook up with this hot younger woman. To the camera aside, she’s saying how much she likes him and expressing how she wants to be his girlfriend. Cut back to them fooling around and he explicitly says that he’s just fooling around and of course it’s not like they’re in some relationship since they just met and he’s taking off soon but they can have some fun. And what does the young woman say “Oh, yeah, totally. Of course we just met, nothing serious!” Or something like that. I think woman need to be honest with themselves about what they want. There’s a lot of social pressure to be like men and just want some hot sex with a hot body with no commitment. If that’s what you want, that’s totally fine. If it’s not want you want, that’s also fine! Both sides need to be more clear—but I think often they men are pretty clear and the women are speaking in some code that they think means one thing, but the men don’t have the right translator ring.
I would like to use this article and the aziz ansari one to lead a discussion group with my teen daughter….but I am quite sure she’d refuse to do it!

This article and the aziz ansari article have very little in common.
This girl was pimped out by her mentor and boss. She was pursued for months.
The blow job isn’t the point.
Everyone in her orbit was using her.
Young women are valued for what they are. Young men are valued for what they will become.
The world values not only the beauty of young women, but also their naïveté.
It’s such a better deal for everyone that when women are the most valuable, they are the least experienced.
Well it’s great deal for everyone except young women.

I work in the industry and most posters here just have no clue what it’s like to be singled out by someone like JG.
It’s not even similar to being “love bombed”. Actors are a different breed.
It just an entirely different situation when the leading man only has eyes for you.
Expecting a virgin 23 year old to manage that situation is ridiculous.

But really, who in the industry would assume a 23 yo is a virgin? Not likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does feel sleazy -- her included. She had been in the business for years according to her and not like he screwed her the first time they met on the casting couch.

I don't understand younger women, all about women power except when it comes to them and ZERO personal responsibility.

The idle mind of a single and unmarried woman. You’re supposed to be married with kids by late 20s, not consuming social media all day. It makes them crazy, rudderless and unfulfilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So kids can sign up for the military at 17 but some of you think the author of this piece is a 'child'. I am so tired of this 'power imbalance' theory. Take some responsibility for your own behavior, woman. You can legally smoke, drink, marry, procreate, sign a contract. I don't want to hear any more of your crying.

+1. Every drunken hookup I had in college from 18 to 22 was a power imbalance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in a notel and caught like 5 minutes of a dumb reality that show. In it, some hot French guy was visiting wherever and trying to hook up with this hot younger woman. To the camera aside, she’s saying how much she likes him and expressing how she wants to be his girlfriend. Cut back to them fooling around and he explicitly says that he’s just fooling around and of course it’s not like they’re in some relationship since they just met and he’s taking off soon but they can have some fun. And what does the young woman say “Oh, yeah, totally. Of course we just met, nothing serious!” Or something like that. I think woman need to be honest with themselves about what they want. There’s a lot of social pressure to be like men and just want some hot sex with a hot body with no commitment. If that’s what you want, that’s totally fine. If it’s not want you want, that’s also fine! Both sides need to be more clear—but I think often they men are pretty clear and the women are speaking in some code that they think means one thing, but the men don’t have the right translator ring.
I would like to use this article and the aziz ansari one to lead a discussion group with my teen daughter….but I am quite sure she’d refuse to do it!

This article and the aziz ansari article have very little in common.
This girl was pimped out by her mentor and boss. She was pursued for months.
The blow job isn’t the point.
Everyone in her orbit was using her.
Young women are valued for what they are. Young men are valued for what they will become.
The world values not only the beauty of young women, but also their naïveté.
It’s such a better deal for everyone that when women are the most valuable, they are the least experienced.
Well it’s great deal for everyone except young women.

I work in the industry and most posters here just have no clue what it’s like to be singled out by someone like JG.
It’s not even similar to being “love bombed”. Actors are a different breed.
It just an entirely different situation when the leading man only has eyes for you.
Expecting a virgin 23 year old to manage that situation is ridiculous.

So basically anyone under the age of 30 needs to stay in the house bc adulting is hard and can hurt your feelings. Fabulous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So kids can sign up for the military at 17 but some of you think the author of this piece is a 'child'. I am so tired of this 'power imbalance' theory. Take some responsibility for your own behavior, woman. You can legally smoke, drink, marry, procreate, sign a contract. I don't want to hear any more of your crying.

+1. Every drunken hookup I had in college from 18 to 22 was a power imbalance.

But this WASN'T a drunken hookup. That is much more what the Aziz Ansari story was (and FTR I don't think AA did anything wrong, that really WAS just a crappy one off date). This was a 35 year old aggressively pursuing a 23 year old (sitting under her desk on the first day talking about oral sex) in a context where he had a TREMENDOUS amount of power and influence over her employment.

[Anonymous]

Part of growing up is having bad relationships. It's what helps you learn what is good and what is bad.

Older men always prey on young females. They are attracted to their innocence, freshness, and naivete.

When I was younger I had older men pursue me, it was uncomfortable. But I navigated my way through it. I had some friends who got involved with older men, it's what they wanted.

Not every interaction in your life is positive, there are plenty of negative ones. I'm kind of over this mentality of young females need to be coddled and wrapped in cotton wool. Nope, they need to live, they need to have experiences. It's all part of growing up and women have navigated these situations since we all arrived on this planet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So kids can sign up for the military at 17 but some of you think the author of this piece is a 'child'. I am so tired of this 'power imbalance' theory. Take some responsibility for your own behavior, woman. You can legally smoke, drink, marry, procreate, sign a contract. I don't want to hear any more of your crying.

+1. Every drunken hookup I had in college from 18 to 22 was a power imbalance.

But this WASN'T a drunken hookup. That is much more what the Aziz Ansari story was (and FTR I don't think AA did anything wrong, that really WAS just a crappy one off date). This was a 35 year old aggressively pursuing a 23 year old (sitting under her desk on the first day talking about oral sex) in a context where he had a TREMENDOUS amount of power and influence over her employment.

She was an intern. I wonder if she was even paid? Her parents’ “connections” got her the gig and she apparently sees Broadway shows multiple times each for a decade, so her family is obviously extremely wealthy. Stop painting her as if she’ll be tossed in the streets unless she slept with a MOVIE STAR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of growing up is having bad relationships. It's what helps you learn what is good and what is bad.

Older men always prey on young females. They are attracted to their innocence, freshness, and naivete.

When I was younger I had older men pursue me, it was uncomfortable. But I navigated my way through it. I had some friends who got involved with older men, it's what they wanted.

Not every interaction in your life is positive, there are plenty of negative ones. I'm kind of over this mentality of young females need to be coddled and wrapped in cotton wool. Nope, they need to live, they need to have experiences. It's all part of growing up and women have navigated these situations since we all arrived on this planet.

Why are you more irritated by her naïveté than his grossness. Serious question. I this scenario I think her crime is being too expecting of the world to protect her and not enough in charge of her own actions. But his crimes are repeatedly exploiting the naïveté of young girls as like…something he’s into. And it is really baffling that to me that people are more focused on complaining about her than acknowledging that wow, turns out Jake Gyllenhaal is a super creepy dude I would not want to go anywhere near.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Part of growing up is having bad relationships. It's what helps you learn what is good and what is bad.

Older men always prey on young females. They are attracted to their innocence, freshness, and naivete.

When I was younger I had older men pursue me, it was uncomfortable. But I navigated my way through it. I had some friends who got involved with older men, it's what they wanted.

Not every interaction in your life is positive, there are plenty of negative ones. I'm kind of over this mentality of young females need to be coddled and wrapped in cotton wool. Nope, they need to live, they need to have experiences. It's all part of growing up and women have navigated these situations since we all arrived on this planet.

I kinda agree with this. On one hand, #metoo has been a good thing and long overdue to shine a light on power imbalances that result in woman’s potential being cut short. It’s a good thing women are sharing their stories publicly, not just whispered to each other as life stories and warnings. Men need to hear this stuff, and how it impacts us too.

On the other hand, I resent this belief women need to be protected from the big bad world. I’m a big girl, I own my decisions and what happens to me (obviously, I’m NOT referring to non-consensual acts).

I hooked up with older guys when I was in my late teens and early 20s, ranged anywhere from “that was fun!” to “ew, he was gross, gotta lay off the booze.” Everyone was a learning experience that makes me who I am today. I’m glad I got to experience these things before marriage and motherhood.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s much less “young women need to be protected/coddled” and more so “let’s finally openly acknowledge and call out the men for this behavior.” I’m sick of the boys will be boys mentality, and telling girls to just deal with it. How about the men need to change? God forbid!