Scientific American on Decline in Sex Across the Board

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to have the conversation about SSRI use!

+1 It is the elephant in the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my n=1 experience, but when I was single about 10 years ago, I had 2 long term boyfriends who had little to zero interest in sex but watched a LOT of porn. I’ve had a couple female friends who also had partners that preferred porn over sex.

I remember 10-15 years ago when people mentioned this they were met with scoffing disbelief that any man would prefer porn over sex. Now everyone recognizes it’s true

Porn warps the mind and watching it is an incredibly narcissistic and self-centered activity that’s practically become normalized. There is zero benefit in this vile, destructive industry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people just interact less in person than they used to—whether single and looking or partnered. We sit and stare at devices for almost everything in life: friends, work, entertainment, etc… I also think this contributes to the similar epidemics of increased loneliness, obesity, and depression. It’s all interconnected.

The moral of the story is put the phone down and get out there with humans.

+1 ITA. The basement dwellers playing video games need to get out more and work on your social skills and your physical appearance. Then maybe women will want to date and have sex with you.

Weird that you center the men and make women kind of peripheral. Women are also not having sex according to these studies. What should they be doing? Or are women just afterthoughts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just my n=1 experience, but when I was single about 10 years ago, I had 2 long term boyfriends who had little to zero interest in sex but watched a LOT of porn. I’ve had a couple female friends who also had partners that preferred porn over sex.

I remember 10-15 years ago when people mentioned this they were met with scoffing disbelief that any man would prefer porn over sex. Now everyone recognizes it’s true

Porn warps the mind and watching it is an incredibly narcissistic and self-centered activity that’s practically become normalized. There is zero benefit in this vile, destructive industry.

This is just an odd take in response to a study that shows (among its other findings) that people aren't masturbating as much as they used to. If the decline in sex was a function of porn-warped minds, you'd expect masturbation to be increasing. But its frequency is down as well. So I think the non-porn explanations are more important: Video games, social media, increased isolation, increased stress of day-to-day life, worse food, less exercise, less boredom, greater acceptance of asexuality.

[Anonymous]

In the younger generation, one factor is likely the huge increase in kids taking ADHD meds, either proscribed or not. It can reduce libido and performance in men, but more importantly it also tends to reduce risky behaviors, so fewer wild and reckless one night stands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to have the conversation about SSRI use!

Right? I'm guessing these odd balls working hard to blame video games and porn are in Big Pharma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think porn does have an impact. For most men they want sex somewhere between a little and a LOT more than women. In my marriage, it takes a herculean effort to get my wife in the mood where she might want to have sex, emphasis on might. With porn so easily available, men can take care of themselves.

I would much prefer sex with a real woman and if I were single I would put the effort in

The effort might not be so herculean if you were to consistently invest in the relationship. That's what my marriage counselor said anyway. He said it was the reason DH and I don't have the issue of low frequency that some other couples do.

[Anonymous]

Okay let’s talk about SSRIs/SNRIs.

Yes they reduce libido in many patients and also make it difficult to achieve orgasm in many patients. Sex life is affected.

They also save a lot of suicidal people and make chronic depression and anxiety manageable for many others who would possibly progress to suicidality or at very least suffer serious impacts on relationships and work without.

Sex is good but being alive probably outweighs the value of a frisky sex life. Lots of people go without sex either by choice or by circumstance for long periods of time, if not lifetimes, and still have a good quality of life. Sex is not the be all end all.

That said, there is good news on the depression/anxiety/PTSD treatment front in the form of TMS therapy and ketamine therapy and EMDR therapy and CBT/DBT, all of which have minimal physical side effects and are fairly effective comparative to the psych meds. They require greater effort to obtain and are more expensive than SSRIs/SNRIs, and the capacity to treat everyone is very limited so like everything it comes down to our healthcare system and how we pay for services and the policy decisions we make about investing in service capacity and patient supports.

Incidentally I’m a few weeks away from completing an initial course of TMS therapy for decades long refractory meds resistant (I can’t tolerate the side effects, the least of which for me is impact on libido/sexual function) recurrent major depression/CPTSD. I’m lucky to have very good insurance that covers it and I’m hopeful about this new tool as it has lifted a very acute depression in a matter of weeks with zero physical side effects beyond very mild headache after the first couple of sessions. An initial course is 36 sessions so it’s a significant commitment depending on how far you have to travel to a treatment facility - I only drive a mile from my home. I hope with incorporation of healthy lifestyle choices this result will last at least a year or so, given the time commitment for a refresher course and the cost - I’m mindful of my use of healthcare resources even if not coming out of my pocket.

For anyone taking meds and still struggling with depression et al., I recommend looking into TMS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to have the conversation about SSRI use!

+1 It is the elephant in the room.

The obesity epidemic is the other, uh, elephant in the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to have the conversation about SSRI use!

+1 It is the elephant in the room.

The obesity epidemic is the other, uh, elephant in the room.

I agree on this.

Despite efforts to normalize obesity I think there is a huge portion of the population that just knows they are unattractive and have simply resorted to avoiding sex, or even thinking about sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to have the conversation about SSRI use!

+1 It is the elephant in the room.

The obesity epidemic is the other, uh, elephant in the room.

I agree on this.

Despite efforts to normalize obesity I think there is a huge portion of the population that just knows they are unattractive and have simply resorted to avoiding sex, or even thinking about sex.

+1

To all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think porn does have an impact. For most men they want sex somewhere between a little and a LOT more than women. In my marriage, it takes a herculean effort to get my wife in the mood where she might want to have sex, emphasis on might. With porn so easily available, men can take care of themselves.

I would much prefer sex with a real woman and if I were single I would put the effort in

The effort might not be so herculean if you were to consistently invest in the relationship. That's what my marriage counselor said anyway. He said it was the reason DH and I don't have the issue of low frequency that some other couples do.

I think experience is definitely mixed on this issue. Sometimes good spouses are married to people who just don't want to have much sex, and sometimes bad spouses are married to people who like having sex with them.

[Anonymous]

This is depressing! I miss sex!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one wants to have the conversation about SSRI use!

+1 It is the elephant in the room.

The obesity epidemic is the other, uh, elephant in the room.

I agree on this.

Despite efforts to normalize obesity I think there is a huge portion of the population that just knows they are unattractive and have simply resorted to avoiding sex, or even thinking about sex.

Sort of related. Dr. Sarah Taber just had a good Twitter thread touching on how screwed up the popular narrative is when it comes to obesity:
https://twitter.com/SarahTaber_bww/status/1478067856545927170

A couple of her comments:

I just think it's funny how ~the obesity epidemic~ started at the same time that falling real wages, longer work hours, & longer commutes started to eat away at Americans' sleep time almost like it's a symptom of larger-scale societal problems that are profitable for some people...Chronic stress (overwork, poverty, sexual harassment, discrimination, etc) also has a lot more to do with fatness than anybody wants to admit. [She adds PTSD from childhood trauma as another element.]
...
Veggies & cooking from scratch are great & all! Healthy food is a fine & good thing. But it's no substitute for sleep, PTSD treatment, & ending domestic violence & overwork.
...
[She then talks some about the profit motive involved with people selling health food, supplements, books, supplements, etc. and concludes]: the problem with naps and not beating your family,, is you can do those things for free.

[Anonymous]

I would think over the long-term, that our obesity rates aren't helping. Especially because it messes with your hormones.