Explain this behavior to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. He only wants to be with you if you are willing to follow his rules. Block him and move on

This!!!
He’s testing you to see how poor your boundaries are. People like him end up being narcissists who cheat a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's juggling other women, and you aren't #1. I do the same thing.

+1

And since he doesn't have kids, he doesn't quite understand the way they mean you have to pre-organize yoru schedule in the way a childless person doesn't. This irritates him because he doesn't know you well and doesn't care about your kids, but the kids are somethign oyu keep bringing up every time you try to fence him into making a time commitment. He was irritated when you ended your call with him to put your kids to bed and he doesn't want to be with a woman who has to do things like that. This is not a man who will commit to a woman with kids. You need to find someone who understands what having kids means because he has them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's juggling other women, and you aren't #1. I do the same thing.

This.

He can’t plan ahead because you are his Plan B. He reaches out when it’s convenient for him.

Move on.

When a guy likes you, he reaches out and tries to woo you. Dating really isn’t hard when both people are into it.

PS - When both people are into it, you prioritize being together…and you don’t go weeks between dates.

We have a reason to go weeks between dates…neither of us live alone.

You're saying you're both in relationships? If he lives with his significant other, why are you so confused about his behavior?

No, I have kids a lot. His cousin lives with him. We have met mostly outside since summer. In October he was traveling and was sick another weekend. I was unavailable one weekend in November (ex out of town for a week actually so I could not get away) and now I have had a cold for about 8 days. It is cold now and not as easy to meet as it was before mid-Oct. we do not want to meet in busy indoor places and have not. It is not like either of us can say “just come over” if we want to meet, which most people can. I am moving soon and will have more free time and have kids a bit less and will have more time but right now I am not as available as others and his cousin lives with him and is apparently a homebody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's juggling other women, and you aren't #1. I do the same thing.

+1

And since he doesn't have kids, he doesn't quite understand the way they mean you have to pre-organize yoru schedule in the way a childless person doesn't. This irritates him because he doesn't know you well and doesn't care about your kids, but the kids are somethign oyu keep bringing up every time you try to fence him into making a time commitment. He was irritated when you ended your call with him to put your kids to bed and he doesn't want to be with a woman who has to do things like that. This is not a man who will commit to a woman with kids. You need to find someone who understands what having kids means because he has them too.

I have no interest in dating a man with kids. I am not looking for a commitment. I am looking for someone I can see once a week for awhile until it runs its course (6 months to a year or more is ideal). A man with kids is more likely to want to meet my kids and blend lives—I am not interested. I just need someone who can say “yes, let’s meet at x time and x date” and I need to know 24 hours in advance in case I need a sitter that day. All that is required is someone who can plan a little better. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guy here. He only wants to be with you if you are willing to follow his rules. Block him and move on

This!!!
He’s testing you to see how poor your boundaries are. People like him end up being narcissists who cheat a lot.

OP here. You have a point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's juggling other women, and you aren't #1. I do the same thing.

+1

And since he doesn't have kids, he doesn't quite understand the way they mean you have to pre-organize yoru schedule in the way a childless person doesn't. This irritates him because he doesn't know you well and doesn't care about your kids, but the kids are somethign oyu keep bringing up every time you try to fence him into making a time commitment. He was irritated when you ended your call with him to put your kids to bed and he doesn't want to be with a woman who has to do things like that. This is not a man who will commit to a woman with kids. You need to find someone who understands what having kids means because he has them too.

I have no interest in dating a man with kids. I am not looking for a commitment. I am looking for someone I can see once a week for awhile until it runs its course (6 months to a year or more is ideal). A man with kids is more likely to want to meet my kids and blend lives—I am not interested. I just need someone who can say “yes, let’s meet at x time and x date” and I need to know 24 hours in advance in case I need a sitter that day. All that is required is someone who can plan a little better. That’s it.

Yes, we get that this is what you want. But what some of us are trying to tell you is that it is clearly not what he wants.

[Anonymous]

He’s married.

[Anonymous]

It’s the kids OP. You don’t want a man with kids but now you have to deal with a cousin who won’t leave the house. This guy is looking for s woman without kids so that he can go to her house. A single father with part-time custody would work better for you. Not sure why you’re assuming they would want to blend families.

Have you met his cousin? Men are used to giving space so that roommates can have sexy time, so perhaps this cousin is actually a wife and kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the kids OP. You don’t want a man with kids but now you have to deal with a cousin who won’t leave the house. This guy is looking for s woman without kids so that he can go to her house. A single father with part-time custody would work better for you. Not sure why you’re assuming they would want to blend families.

Have you met his cousin? Men are used to giving space so that roommates can have sexy time, so perhaps this cousin is actually a wife and kids.

I would not go to a house with a family member living there. A roommate normally would be fine, but not a family member. I am also not interested in custody schedules. He would be able to come to my house half the time in about a month. He knows this…so it is weird. Anyway, I have likely seen enough and can look elsewhere. I have other options.

[Anonymous]

How likely is it that he is living with his “cousin” and it’s not actually his wife (and kids)? What person who seriously wants to date you is going to have a homebody roommate be an impediment to their dating you. Sometimes the simplest answer is the most obvious. The guy is full of sh*t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just move on!

-A guy

100% agree

[Anonymous]

Cousin is his wife or girlfriend. Move on

[Anonymous]

I have no interest in dating a man with kids. I am not looking for a commitment. I am looking for someone I can see once a week for awhile until it runs its course (6 months to a year or more is ideal). A man with kids is more likely to want to meet my kids and blend lives—I am not interested. I just need someone who can say “yes, let’s meet at x time and x date” and I need to know 24 hours in advance in case I need a sitter that day. All that is required is someone who can plan a little better. That’s it.

I don't know why would any man want to date you. You are physically, mentally and emotionally unavailable and no, those small windows in your rigid schedule do not count.
I'm a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have no interest in dating a man with kids. I am not looking for a commitment. I am looking for someone I can see once a week for awhile until it runs its course (6 months to a year or more is ideal). A man with kids is more likely to want to meet my kids and blend lives—I am not interested. I just need someone who can say “yes, let’s meet at x time and x date” and I need to know 24 hours in advance in case I need a sitter that day. All that is required is someone who can plan a little better. That’s it.

I don't know why would any man want to date you. You are physically, mentally and emotionally unavailable and no, those small windows in your rigid schedule do not count.
I'm a woman.

I had a boyfriend most of last year. It was not an issue. He could confirm plans. We met once or twice a week. It was fine.

[Anonymous]

In case anyone wanted an update, on Friday at 7 pm, I got this message:

“Hey! Sorry, I fell asleep last night. How are you feeling?”

(I have had a cold.)

I responded an hour later when I saw the message:

“Hey. With kids. Neighbor friend coming over to catch up after kids sleep.

I feel okay…like I just had a cold or it is winter. Not 100% but probably 98%. Free to chat or whatever the rest of the weekend after tonight unless you are up super late—like close to midnight —we usually talk a couple is hours since we have not caught up since school started.”

Nothing since. Crazy.

I literally said I was free all weekend. This is the problem. I say when I am free but then hear nothing. I think blocking is probably the way to go at this point as PPs have suggested.