This dynamic is so frustrating!

[Anonymous]

I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

I don't let my life and happiness be dictated by someone else saying something mean to me years ago. At a certain point you just have to choose to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

Actually, I've been through a crap ton of shit in my life including being, called terrible things by family members,s mercilessly bullied in grade school and college and sexually harassed and bullied at work. Holding onto grudges made me sick, physically and emotionally. Yes, there are some people I would choose not to see, but I don't inquire about the guest list before a party. I don't let the jerks keep me from seeing people I want to see, I go to the parties and ignore them if for whatever reason it's too much I go home or I stay home if I think someone I can't deal with will be there, I don't invite other people avoid or ignore them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

Actually, I've been through a crap ton of shit in my life including being, called terrible things by family members,s mercilessly bullied in grade school and college and sexually harassed and bullied at work. Holding onto grudges made me sick, physically and emotionally. Yes, there are some people I would choose not to see, but I don't inquire about the guest list before a party. I don't let the jerks keep me from seeing people I want to see, I go to the parties and ignore them if for whatever reason it's too much I go home or I stay home if I think someone I can't deal with will be there, I don't invite other people avoid or ignore them too.

This sounds like almost exactly what OP said she is doing and people are still hating on her, though. Didn't she say she was just being choosy about which invitations to accept and people were sniffing out that it was about this other person and making a thing of it? I mean you are hating on her but you are describing doing the exact same thing she says she is doing so I don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

I don't let my life and happiness be dictated by someone else saying something mean to me years ago. At a certain point you just have to choose to get over it.

I agree of course but being rude, saying things in a mean way including name calling aren't going to help OP get there.

[Anonymous]

I would not associate with someone who hurt me and refused to apologize after I explicitly told them I was hurt by their actions.

You should apologize when you hurt someone, even if you didn’t mean to. Did we not all learn this in preschool?

[Anonymous]

I flat out do not believe that this single insult was the entire basis for this situation. There was tension, offense, something with this person before that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I flat out do not believe that this single insult was the entire basis for this situation. There was tension, offense, something with this person before that.

Yes, of course this is true. But it’s like, there is some stuff you don’t say out loud, especially not in front of other people, because you know you can never take it back. Everyone knows this. There are people you have issues with, stuff you think, and you either have to keep it to yourself or deal with the consequences. Like I have deep stuff with my friends that goes way back, and there are things I could say that would straight up destroy them if I said them. Like it would hurt them so deep I’d worry for their mental health. Not even stuff to do with me, just stuff I know about them that they would not want people to know or that they don’t want to face themselves.

No matter how mad I get at them, I’m never going to say that stuff. I can’t hurt people that way, I don’t want to, even when I’m pissed or they are being jerks, because I don’t want to be that way.

But some people do not have that filter. They will get annoyed with you over some dumb thing and come out with the cruelest stuff. And if they know you well enough, they’ll know what buttons to push. For a lot of people it’s similar stuff. Everyone has these vulnerabilities, you know?

Some people just step over that line and are like “what? I’m just being honest.” Like it’s not even about that. There are just things you don’t say if you care about someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good Lord it's been years. Get help

Agreed, it's been years this person has had to apologize. They should indeed get help in being accountable for their actions. Good point.

+1

[Anonymous]

Regarding others getting dragged into “the drama”:

This is what occurs when you maintain close relationships with people who are assholes. If you do not enjoy being put in the middle, being asked about guest lists, feeling like you have to explain someone’s behavior or POV, then don’t keep assholes around. Even if they are nice to you. They will pissiff and alienate others and those people will start pushing back, and if you try to stay neutral, you WILL get dragged into it.

I just don’t befriend people who cause drama with their crappy behavior, and I never feel caught in between because (1) none of my friends ever dislikes anyone else enough for it to be this much of a problem, and (2) if they did, I’d take it as a sign that one or more parties were toxic AF and I’d just back away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all the people being rude and nasty to OP and telling her to get over stuff. You are all so kind and forgiving that you don't hold grudges Because from what you are writing on here you sound not very nice at all. You probably drop insults to people all the time then tell them to not be so sensitive.

Actually, I've been through a crap ton of shit in my life including being, called terrible things by family members,s mercilessly bullied in grade school and college and sexually harassed and bullied at work. Holding onto grudges made me sick, physically and emotionally. Yes, there are some people I would choose not to see, but I don't inquire about the guest list before a party. I don't let the jerks keep me from seeing people I want to see, I go to the parties and ignore them if for whatever reason it's too much I go home or I stay home if I think someone I can't deal with will be there, I don't invite other people avoid or ignore them too.

This sounds like almost exactly what OP said she is doing and people are still hating on her, though. Didn't she say she was just being choosy about which invitations to accept and people were sniffing out that it was about this other person and making a thing of it? I mean you are hating on her but you are describing doing the exact same thing she says she is doing so I don't get it.

IT sounds like the opposite of what OP is doing, notice, nowhere does pp mentions schisms with other people or others being dragged into things.