Men - Am I A Red Flag?

[Anonymous]

If you no longer have these issues I would suggest you never mention vaginal infections or chronic bad odor to any man you meet or date. Just a suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Don’t bring up that you “lost a chunk of your life” have no friends and have never had a boyfriend. Talk about your interests, how and why you are starting a career in nursing, places you love to go etc. Keep things positive and light. You can say you haven’t dated a lot without going into how you’ve never had a bf due to serious medical issues. Why would you bring any of this up early on in dating??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you no longer have these issues I would suggest you never mention vaginal infections or chronic bad odor to any man you meet or date. Just a suggestion.

+1. Listen, what you went through is not wildly uncommon. You are not a freak. But, if the issue has been solved, let it go and move on from making this a part of your personal identity. Do not bring this up on a date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fast forward a year and I feel like I’m in a much better place. I met with a natural doctor who helped me immensely. She helped me find the root cause of my issues and I was able to eradicate my vaginal infections and greatly improve my IBS. I still have some issues if I eat certain foods but I'm fine if I stick to a certain diet. I have been seeing a chiropractor and acupuncturist for my nerve condition, and while not healed, I feel much better. I spent the last year in therapy discussing all of these things.

. I had a bad "down there" infection and a terrible gaslighting, slacking urologist, but my pcp put me on tetracycline for something else which finally helped. Then hubby rubbed against me and it came back. May I ask who this doctor is? I need your help OP!

Try oral Flagyl. That’s assuming it’s bacterial vaginosis. That’s what worked for me.

OP here. They don’t live in the area.

The number one thing is hormones. My hormones were out of wack. I changed my diet, take supplements, and pay very close attention to vaginal health. No event products, no underwear at home or while sleeping, only using mild soap, etc.

I think I ended up with IBS and gastritis because I was constantly taking antibiotics that was destroying my stomach lining. I do have food allergies that I did not realize, but I think the antibiotic use was the main cause.

It’s excessive but I went on a 60 day juice fast. Then I slowly added back in food groups and supplements. Now I eat a very high quality diet that’s plant focused with healthy fats and lean protein. I take pre and probiotics for gut and vaginal health. I use vaginal suppositories for a week after my period because that used to also cause an infection.

OT, but would you recommend your pre/probiotic? Looking into this for IBS.

OP here. Here’s what I take.

- 1MD Nutrition Probiotics Platinum as a general probiotic.
- Raw Probiotics Vaginal Care for BV
- Nordic Naturals Omega ( can help with inflammation)
- Seeking Health Vitamin D Drops
- NutraBlast Boric Acid Suppositories. I use this after my period. Please note that you can’t have sex with this for 24 hours because it’s considered toxic to ingest.

I also switched my diet. I only eat super healthy and eat yogurt everyday. I use a specific feminine wash and only wash my panties in unscented detergent. I don’t wear panties when I’m at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I tried it all. Multiple oral antibiotics and creams only for it to clear up and come back. It was a vicious cycle or BV, yeast infection from the BV, and then a UTI. I had an infection at least every other month.

I don’t tell people this. I’m saying realistically men will ask about my past, my past relationship, friends, etc. I don’t know what to say.

You can say, I actually had some health problems in my 20s so I didn’t date much. But they’re all fixed now and I’m excited about the future/excited about exploring the possibilities.

If they ask for more details — my hormones were off and it messed with my digestion and all kinds of things. But I recently found a great doctor who switched my diet, and I’ve been able to clear everything up.

If they ask for more details after you’ve been together for a long time, by then you’ll know what to say.

**Honestly, though I think most men are more interested in who you are in the present. I would definitely focus on building important relationships and friendships outside of dating so you have a full life and a sense of yourself outside of this. It will help with your insecurities.

OP hurt. Thank you for this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:how are your tits? thats kinda what matters

OP here. Very nice. I’m not fat but that’s very rude to ask. Been skinny all my life and I have spent the last year getting into very good shape.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman but a red flag for me would be high maintenance. I don’t want a man with a specific diet or a 5 page list of supplements and multiple dr appointments.
I am pretty sure some men are like me. And if you have a baby you won’t have time for all the self care and then what?
But I think not many men look that far ahead

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman but a red flag for me would be high maintenance. I don’t want a man with a specific diet or a 5 page list of supplements and multiple dr appointments.
I am pretty sure some men are like me. And if you have a baby you won’t have time for all the self care and then what?
But I think not many men look that far ahead

Men will care about this exactly zero. No man will ever give a second thought to what happens if/when she has a baby. Also, you sound incredibly young and selfish. As people age they do things like have doctors appointments, take medication and deal with medical issues. Good luck finding anyone. You will need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I tried it all. Multiple oral antibiotics and creams only for it to clear up and come back. It was a vicious cycle or BV, yeast infection from the BV, and then a UTI. I had an infection at least every other month.

I don’t tell people this. I’m saying realistically men will ask about my past, my past relationship, friends, etc. I don’t know what to say.

You can say, I actually had some health problems in my 20s so I didn’t date much. But they’re all fixed now and I’m excited about the future/excited about exploring the possibilities.

If they ask for more details — my hormones were off and it messed with my digestion and all kinds of things. But I recently found a great doctor who switched my diet, and I’ve been able to clear everything up.

If they ask for more details after you’ve been together for a long time, by then you’ll know what to say.

**Honestly, though I think most men are more interested in who you are in the present. I would definitely focus on building important relationships and friendships outside of dating so you have a full life and a sense of yourself outside of this. It will help with your insecurities.

OP hurt. Thank you for this!

You’re welcome! I hope you meet a guy who really desires and cherishes you for the catch you are.

If I were young and dating again, I would do things a bit differently in the beginning. Instead of looking for men I desired I would look for men who made me feel good. It’s a subtle shift but if you use your own pleasure and happiness as criteria, each relationship will build you up and you’ll be more relaxed and sure of yourself. Don’t be in a rush, the right guy who wants to please you will take his time to get to know you and treat you well. Also, having been through some not fun health stuff myself, I have to say that it can shift your mindset in ways that aren’t always letting you get in touch with yourself. You’ve just had any life experience that crushed your happiness and also taught you to be really careful and meticulous to fix. But love and romance are more about getting in touch with what makes you feel good from the inside, not what’s right from an external perspective. So definitely build into your self care things that are just about your pleasure and fun, whether that’s going for a walk on a beautiful day, a lotion you really love the smell of, lunch with friends who make you laugh, or flowers you love. That will help you be more confident in your inner sense of self.

Enjoy and I wish you much happiness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fast forward a year and I feel like I’m in a much better place. I met with a natural doctor who helped me immensely. She helped me find the root cause of my issues and I was able to eradicate my vaginal infections and greatly improve my IBS. I still have some issues if I eat certain foods but I'm fine if I stick to a certain diet. I have been seeing a chiropractor and acupuncturist for my nerve condition, and while not healed, I feel much better. I spent the last year in therapy discussing all of these things.

. I had a bad "down there" infection and a terrible gaslighting, slacking urologist, but my pcp put me on tetracycline for something else which finally helped. Then hubby rubbed against me and it came back. May I ask who this doctor is? I need your help OP!

Try oral Flagyl. That’s assuming it’s bacterial vaginosis. That’s what worked for me.

OP here. They don’t live in the area.

The number one thing is hormones. My hormones were out of wack. I changed my diet, take supplements, and pay very close attention to vaginal health. No event products, no underwear at home or while sleeping, only using mild soap, etc.

I think I ended up with IBS and gastritis because I was constantly taking antibiotics that was destroying my stomach lining. I do have food allergies that I did not realize, but I think the antibiotic use was the main cause.

It’s excessive but I went on a 60 day juice fast. Then I slowly added back in food groups and supplements. Now I eat a very high quality diet that’s plant focused with healthy fats and lean protein. I take pre and probiotics for gut and vaginal health. I use vaginal suppositories for a week after my period because that used to also cause an infection.

OT, but would you recommend your pre/probiotic? Looking into this for IBS.

OP here. Here’s what I take.

- 1MD Nutrition Probiotics Platinum as a general probiotic.
- Raw Probiotics Vaginal Care for BV
- Nordic Naturals Omega ( can help with inflammation)
- Seeking Health Vitamin D Drops
- NutraBlast Boric Acid Suppositories. I use this after my period. Please note that you can’t have sex with this for 24 hours because it’s considered toxic to ingest.

I also switched my diet. I only eat super healthy and eat yogurt everyday. I use a specific feminine wash and only wash my panties in unscented detergent. I don’t wear panties when I’m at home.

Thank you! Were you able to get your hormones in balance just from changing your diet? What did you have to eliminate? Does plant focused mean no or little meat? Are dairy and wheat allowed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only red flag is the detail in which you told the story. Those are icky things and only your doctor wants to know them. Describe that period in your life in more generic terms like an illness or poor health. Otherwise some good advice on here. You will do great out there!

And OP has posted her story many times over the years, each time with an almost fetish-like emphasis on the way she smelled. I suspect her real problems are more mental and less vaginal.

Oh she's a weirdo? That explains why she's so mad about people telling no one will care about that and that she doesn't need to go into detail.

Yes!! I thought this thread seemed super familiar.

[Anonymous]

Do you really need to discuss all of this with potential dates? TMI. Fake it until you make it. Guy here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I tried it all. Multiple oral antibiotics and creams only for it to clear up and come back. It was a vicious cycle or BV, yeast infection from the BV, and then a UTI. I had an infection at least every other month.

I don’t tell people this. I’m saying realistically men will ask about my past, my past relationship, friends, etc. I don’t know what to say.

Just say they didn’t work out for whatever reason without going into detail. Obviously if you’re on a date then the previous relationships didn’t work. Also, be forward looking. Anyone that cares that much about your past is not worth your time. There is no reason to dig into past relationships with a new person because they end up being negative since they didn’t work out and you may end up talking smack about someone instead of the intended purpose of the date. Keep it brief on that stuff. Keep the conversation moving. Look to the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman but a red flag for me would be high maintenance. I don’t want a man with a specific diet or a 5 page list of supplements and multiple dr appointments.
I am pretty sure some men are like me. And if you have a baby you won’t have time for all the self care and then what?
But I think not many men look that far ahead

OP here. That’s too damn bad then. Eating well and healthy that makes you feel good is not high maintenance. I’m doing it because eating the way I eat now makes me feel my best. Taking the supplements has helped improve my gut and vaginal health. Until you deal with this for many years, you will never understand that taking these precautions can help prevent a series of infections and antibiotics that further wreak havoc on your gut health.

I don’t go to multiple doctors and I don’t have a 5 page list. I take a handful of supplements. Many people take supplements on a daily basis.

Eating and taking supplements isn’t self care to me. It’s not like I need an hour to pamper myself everyday. You still eat meals and take prenatal as when you have a baby, right? This is no different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fast forward a year and I feel like I’m in a much better place. I met with a natural doctor who helped me immensely. She helped me find the root cause of my issues and I was able to eradicate my vaginal infections and greatly improve my IBS. I still have some issues if I eat certain foods but I'm fine if I stick to a certain diet. I have been seeing a chiropractor and acupuncturist for my nerve condition, and while not healed, I feel much better. I spent the last year in therapy discussing all of these things.

. I had a bad "down there" infection and a terrible gaslighting, slacking urologist, but my pcp put me on tetracycline for something else which finally helped. Then hubby rubbed against me and it came back. May I ask who this doctor is? I need your help OP!

Try oral Flagyl. That’s assuming it’s bacterial vaginosis. That’s what worked for me.

OP here. They don’t live in the area.

The number one thing is hormones. My hormones were out of wack. I changed my diet, take supplements, and pay very close attention to vaginal health. No event products, no underwear at home or while sleeping, only using mild soap, etc.

I think I ended up with IBS and gastritis because I was constantly taking antibiotics that was destroying my stomach lining. I do have food allergies that I did not realize, but I think the antibiotic use was the main cause.

It’s excessive but I went on a 60 day juice fast. Then I slowly added back in food groups and supplements. Now I eat a very high quality diet that’s plant focused with healthy fats and lean protein. I take pre and probiotics for gut and vaginal health. I use vaginal suppositories for a week after my period because that used to also cause an infection.

OT, but would you recommend your pre/probiotic? Looking into this for IBS.

OP here. Here’s what I take.

- 1MD Nutrition Probiotics Platinum as a general probiotic.
- Raw Probiotics Vaginal Care for BV
- Nordic Naturals Omega ( can help with inflammation)
- Seeking Health Vitamin D Drops
- NutraBlast Boric Acid Suppositories. I use this after my period. Please note that you can’t have sex with this for 24 hours because it’s considered toxic to ingest.

I also switched my diet. I only eat super healthy and eat yogurt everyday. I use a specific feminine wash and only wash my panties in unscented detergent. I don’t wear panties when I’m at home.

Thank you! Were you able to get your hormones in balance just from changing your diet? What did you have to eliminate? Does plant focused mean no or little meat? Are dairy and wheat allowed?

OP here. I can recommend what I did but that’s just me. Everyone is different. I’m not a doctor or nutritionist. I don’t want to offer any health advice.

I did a 60 day green juice fast. It’s extreme but I felt I needed to do it to let my body heal. The biggest contributor to my IBS I think was the antibiotics. I have many issues with gastritis and an ulcer once. I slowly added things back. I don’t eat much gluten but I eat a mostly plant focused diet filled with lean protein, salmon, occasional red meat, fruits, veggies, greens, complex carbs, healthy fats, and some dairy.

The thing is anything can cause BV. Hormones, sex, menstrual cycle, bubble baths, scented body wash, scented detergent, tight clothes, genetics, etc. Once you get an infection, your body is more prone to getting another one.