Men - Am I A Red Flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fast forward a year and I feel like I’m in a much better place. I met with a natural doctor who helped me immensely. She helped me find the root cause of my issues and I was able to eradicate my vaginal infections and greatly improve my IBS. I still have some issues if I eat certain foods but I'm fine if I stick to a certain diet. I have been seeing a chiropractor and acupuncturist for my nerve condition, and while not healed, I feel much better. I spent the last year in therapy discussing all of these things.

. I had a bad "down there" infection and a terrible gaslighting, slacking urologist, but my pcp put me on tetracycline for something else which finally helped. Then hubby rubbed against me and it came back. May I ask who this doctor is? I need your help OP!

Try oral Flagyl. That’s assuming it’s bacterial vaginosis. That’s what worked for me.

OP here. They don’t live in the area.

The number one thing is hormones. My hormones were out of wack. I changed my diet, take supplements, and pay very close attention to vaginal health. No event products, no underwear at home or while sleeping, only using mild soap, etc.

I think I ended up with IBS and gastritis because I was constantly taking antibiotics that was destroying my stomach lining. I do have food allergies that I did not realize, but I think the antibiotic use was the main cause.

It’s excessive but I went on a 60 day juice fast. Then I slowly added back in food groups and supplements. Now I eat a very high quality diet that’s plant focused with healthy fats and lean protein. I take pre and probiotics for gut and vaginal health. I use vaginal suppositories for a week after my period because that used to also cause an infection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK first, stop telling people you don’t have friends and I’ve never had a boyfriend. That’s information people don’t need to know. Just don’t share it..

Second, I’ve had tons of issues like bacteria vaginosis that recurs and urinary tract infections and interstitial cystitis. Painful intercourse is common for me. I’ve had a lot of boyfriends, several of him wanted to marry me. Even while I was still dealing with these issues. These are very common medical issues that many women have. If the bacteria vaginosis comes back again, I have found that the best treatment for me is oral Flagyl. Don’t mess around with the creams. They don’t really work in my experience.

There’s nothing wrong with you except for your perspective and how down on yourself you are. You don’t seem to value yourself. I am not a psychologist so I don’t know how to reverse that for you but that is what you need to work on.

OP here. I’m glad you still had a love life but you’re not me. Everyone is not you. To act like I somehow should have just dealt with it is annoying. Not everyone processes and handles things like you.

NP here. Your little pity party hasn't served you well so far, has it? So stop the angst get some self-esteem and get out there. Or keep up the wounded bird who needs a savior for her pathetic soul...choice is yours

OP here. I asked for a man reply. I don’t mean to sound rude but you saying you didn’t let it interfere with your love life sounded like an insult to me for being insecure that I let it affect mine. Everyone is different. Not everyone handles situations the same. I also dealt with other illnesses during that time.

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman. Um, I am super impressed that you had the resourcefulness to get your issues solved, get therapy too, and be in nursing school. Really great actually.

A man would respond with, "are you hot and not fat?"

That's it really.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't worry about the 'lost years'. That's in the past. It sounds like you are dealing with your health issues - which is awesome - so just focus on the future now.

My younger sister married a guy who had cancer in his 20s. All those years we were supposed to be traveling and dating and finding the career of our dreams... He spent them in chemo, just trying to survive. They met around 30/31. He was about 4 years in remission, and living life the best he could. They are now (late 30s / early 40s) among the most active and adventurous family (with two little kids) I know. Red flags aren't about what happened to you in the past - they're about who you are now. Don't worry about putting people off with your history, just think about who you are today and who want to be (and want to be WITH) in the future. Relationships will follow according to how you present yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK first, stop telling people you don’t have friends and I’ve never had a boyfriend. That’s information people don’t need to know. Just don’t share it..

Second, I’ve had tons of issues like bacteria vaginosis that recurs and urinary tract infections and interstitial cystitis. Painful intercourse is common for me. I’ve had a lot of boyfriends, several of him wanted to marry me. Even while I was still dealing with these issues. These are very common medical issues that many women have. If the bacteria vaginosis comes back again, I have found that the best treatment for me is oral Flagyl. Don’t mess around with the creams. They don’t really work in my experience.

There’s nothing wrong with you except for your perspective and how down on yourself you are. You don’t seem to value yourself. I am not a psychologist so I don’t know how to reverse that for you but that is what you need to work on.

OP here. I’m glad you still had a love life but you’re not me. Everyone is not you. To act like I somehow should have just dealt with it is annoying. Not everyone processes and handles things like you.

NP here. Your little pity party hasn't served you well so far, has it? So stop the angst get some self-esteem and get out there. Or keep up the wounded bird who needs a savior for her pathetic soul...choice is yours

OP here. I asked for a man reply. I don’t mean to sound rude but you saying you didn’t let it interfere with your love life sounded like an insult to me for being insecure that I let it affect mine. Everyone is different. Not everyone handles situations the same. I also dealt with other illnesses during that time.

That's not what pp said though, she actually wrote, you a really nice reply, but you chose to interpret as an attack because you have low self-esteem and you are married to your victim's story. And considering pp actually has dating & relationship experience and what guys care about and you don't you may want to listen up. You literally wrote an entire post about it, when it's not the subject of your thread. And she's right BV is not a huge deal. Try dating with lupus or cancer etc. Your issue is purely that you want to view yourself as broken.

Keep it up, Its not working for you, but that's what you want to do so good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

There's really no need to tell them about your chronic BV , UTI, and IBS issues unless you happen to have a flare-up while sleeping with them.


You've just been busy dealing with other things, and now are ready to focus on your personal/relationship life. And then you ask him about himself. If he keeps pushing beyond that it's a sign he has poor boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only red flag is the detail in which you told the story. Those are icky things and only your doctor wants to know them. Describe that period in your life in more generic terms like an illness or poor health. Otherwise some good advice on here. You will do great out there!

And OP has posted her story many times over the years, each time with an almost fetish-like emphasis on the way she smelled. I suspect her real problems are more mental and less vaginal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I’m saying realistically men will ask about my past, my past relationship, friends, etc. I don’t know what to say.

Man here. Men won't necessarily press you for details. Some will be happy to let you say as much or as little about it as you want.

Not to put too fine a point on it, what most guys want to know about "your past" is - have you had a lot more partners than him. If the answer is yes, many guys will start feeling insecure. But you don't have this problem! You can truthfully say you don't have a lot of experience, and I am not sure the conversation will necessarily go a lot further than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only red flag is the detail in which you told the story. Those are icky things and only your doctor wants to know them. Describe that period in your life in more generic terms like an illness or poor health. Otherwise some good advice on here. You will do great out there!

And OP has posted her story many times over the years, each time with an almost fetish-like emphasis on the way she smelled. I suspect her real problems are more mental and less vaginal.

Oh she's a weirdo? That explains why she's so mad about people telling no one will care about that and that she doesn't need to go into detail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many responders are actually men? I'm guessing none.

Because men don’t care about all that crap. They care if she’s cute and fun. In that order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fast forward a year and I feel like I’m in a much better place. I met with a natural doctor who helped me immensely. She helped me find the root cause of my issues and I was able to eradicate my vaginal infections and greatly improve my IBS. I still have some issues if I eat certain foods but I'm fine if I stick to a certain diet. I have been seeing a chiropractor and acupuncturist for my nerve condition, and while not healed, I feel much better. I spent the last year in therapy discussing all of these things.

. I had a bad "down there" infection and a terrible gaslighting, slacking urologist, but my pcp put me on tetracycline for something else which finally helped. Then hubby rubbed against me and it came back. May I ask who this doctor is? I need your help OP!

Try oral Flagyl. That’s assuming it’s bacterial vaginosis. That’s what worked for me.

OP here. They don’t live in the area.

The number one thing is hormones. My hormones were out of wack. I changed my diet, take supplements, and pay very close attention to vaginal health. No event products, no underwear at home or while sleeping, only using mild soap, etc.

I think I ended up with IBS and gastritis because I was constantly taking antibiotics that was destroying my stomach lining. I do have food allergies that I did not realize, but I think the antibiotic use was the main cause.

It’s excessive but I went on a 60 day juice fast. Then I slowly added back in food groups and supplements. Now I eat a very high quality diet that’s plant focused with healthy fats and lean protein. I take pre and probiotics for gut and vaginal health. I use vaginal suppositories for a week after my period because that used to also cause an infection.

OT, but would you recommend your pre/probiotic? Looking into this for IBS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I tried it all. Multiple oral antibiotics and creams only for it to clear up and come back. It was a vicious cycle or BV, yeast infection from the BV, and then a UTI. I had an infection at least every other month.

I don’t tell people this. I’m saying realistically men will ask about my past, my past relationship, friends, etc. I don’t know what to say.

You can say, I actually had some health problems in my 20s so I didn’t date much. But they’re all fixed now and I’m excited about the future/excited about exploring the possibilities.

If they ask for more details — my hormones were off and it messed with my digestion and all kinds of things. But I recently found a great doctor who switched my diet, and I’ve been able to clear everything up.

If they ask for more details after you’ve been together for a long time, by then you’ll know what to say.

**Honestly, though I think most men are more interested in who you are in the present. I would definitely focus on building important relationships and friendships outside of dating so you have a full life and a sense of yourself outside of this. It will help with your insecurities.

[Anonymous]

how are your tits? thats kinda what matters

[Anonymous]

and dont five this amount fo detail to anyone interested in you

[Anonymous]

You need to cast yourself in a better light. Anyone can be made to look bad from a certain point of view. Most of us minimize the negatives and completely forget about our worst moments. You should certainly do the same.