Reply to Men - Am I A Red Flag?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I tried it all. Multiple oral antibiotics and creams only for it to clear up and come back. It was a vicious cycle or BV, yeast infection from the BV, and then a UTI. I had an infection at least every other month.

I don’t tell people this. I’m saying realistically men will ask about my past, my past relationship, friends, etc. I don’t know what to say.

[/quote]

You can say, I actually had some health problems in my 20s so I didn’t date much. But they’re all fixed now and I’m excited about the future/excited about exploring the possibilities.

If they ask for more details — my hormones were off and it messed with my digestion and all kinds of things. But I recently found a great doctor who switched my diet, and I’ve been able to clear everything up.

If they ask for more details after you’ve been together for a long time, by then you’ll know what to say.

**Honestly, though I think most men are more interested in who you are in the present. I would definitely focus on building important relationships and friendships outside of dating so you have a full life and a sense of yourself outside of this. It will help with your insecurities.[/quote]

OP hurt. Thank you for this! [/quote]

You’re welcome! I hope you meet a guy who really desires and cherishes you for the catch you are.

If I were young and dating again, I would do things a bit differently in the beginning. Instead of looking for men I desired I would look for men who made me feel good. It’s a subtle shift but if you use your own pleasure and happiness as criteria, each relationship will build you up and you’ll be more relaxed and sure of yourself. Don’t be in a rush, the right guy who wants to please you will take his time to get to know you and treat you well. Also, having been through some not fun health stuff myself, I have to say that it can shift your mindset in ways that aren’t always letting you get in touch with yourself. You’ve just had any life experience that crushed your happiness and also taught you to be really careful and meticulous to fix. But love and romance are more about getting in touch with what makes you feel good from the inside, not what’s right from an external perspective. So definitely build into your self care things that are just about your pleasure and fun, whether that’s going for a walk on a beautiful day, a lotion you really love the smell of, lunch with friends who make you laugh, or flowers you love. That will help you be more confident in your inner sense of self.

Enjoy and I wish you much happiness! [/quote]

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