Reply to The other side - being the sister my siblings are jealous of

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also have two sisters and one of them sounds like OP; extremely competitive and constantly seeking validation for making what I think she wants to believe are the “right” life choices. All of us are successful and happy but doing different things with our lives. The sister that doesn’t do this and I are extremely close but the more competitive one has somewhat of a grating personality. We do love her but I wish she would just let her guards down sometimes and let go of the need to always be “winning”.

You’re here calling your sisters skinny fat and insinuating that they had kids too young and should have done what you did. Maybe these judgments aren’t as well hidden from them as you think they are. Even labeling yourself as the sister everyone is jealous of seems a bit presumptuous. I’m not convinced this attitude is entirely concealed in your interactions with them. [/quote]

I also notice OP seemed to imply that her sisters have only themselves to blame for not having as much money because one is a school teacher and the other became a SAHM after getting a graduate degree. I am a working mom and I make more than school teachers do, but I can't imagine talking about family members this way. I have teachers in my family and I have such admiration for what they do -- I brag on them all the time because I think it's so great they've decided to use their talents and effort in this way. And I also have SAHMs in my family and know they work hard and that choice was generally driven by a real love of being a mom and desire to do right by their kids. Just because society doesn't reward these endeavors the same way it rewards a corporate accountant is not something to act superior about.

And I say that as someone with a well-paying, corporate job who has a sister who is a SAHM and who complains about money. We don't have an amazing relationship for other reasons, but I would never talk sh*t about her choice to be a SAHM. She is a great mom.[/quote]

I have sympathy for op because I've seen this dynamic in my family and in my dh's. Dh was quiet and studious and worked very hard and got into a great college and worked his ass off when he got his job post college. He has been very successful and had a brother who was a party boy who never studied and barely graduated from his college. He found a blue collar job that worked for his lifestyle and allowed him to party all the time. He and a sister didn't value education at all. They both resented every penny my dh made and everything he ever bought even though dh was miserly with money and saved like a maniac. Dh worked 12-14 hour days on very stressful projects. They would insult him at every turn at family get togethers and I was surprised the parents never admonished them. They were all very blue collar at the core and instead of being proud of him they resented him rising above. They also regularly expected him to give them money whenever they screwed up and got dwis or whatever. [/quote]

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