Husband Is Adamant I Breastfeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give it more time, too. Not because your husband wants you to but because it’s so fricking easy after a couple more weeks. Your milk will stabilize and your nipples will completely stop hurting. The baby will also start to get more efficient and be faster so nursing sessions are cut in half (or more).

But it’s always up to you. I’m just saying that not liking it now is not necessarily how you’ll feel two weeks from now.

OP here. I do feel bad because I have had friends who wanted to breastfeed and had a hard time. I don’t want to breastfeed and things have been easy. He took to the breast right away. There was pain but it’s mostly gone now. We have not had latch issues or weight issues. The only issue is I was worried my milk wouldn’t come in and started feeding 1 bottle of formula at 3 days. It came in that day. I have a good supply. He does eat every two hours during the day for 20-30 minutes each but that would be the same if we were formula feeding. The issue isn’t breastfeeding. It’s the fact I have leaking nipples and don’t like the feeling of having milk in my breasts. It’s hard to sleep 4-6 hours without needing to breastfeed and pump and I don’t want to have to wake up during the night when he starts sleeping longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give it more time, too. Not because your husband wants you to but because it’s so fricking easy after a couple more weeks. Your milk will stabilize and your nipples will completely stop hurting. The baby will also start to get more efficient and be faster so nursing sessions are cut in half (or more).

But it’s always up to you. I’m just saying that not liking it now is not necessarily how you’ll feel two weeks from now.

OP here. I do feel bad because I have had friends who wanted to breastfeed and had a hard time. I don’t want to breastfeed and things have been easy. He took to the breast right away. There was pain but it’s mostly gone now. We have not had latch issues or weight issues. The only issue is I was worried my milk wouldn’t come in and started feeding 1 bottle of formula at 3 days. It came in that day. I have a good supply. He does eat every two hours during the day for 20-30 minutes each but that would be the same if we were formula feeding. The issue isn’t breastfeeding. It’s the fact I have leaking nipples and don’t like the feeling of having milk in my breasts. It’s hard to sleep 4-6 hours without needing to breastfeed and pump and I don’t want to have to wake up during the night when he starts sleeping longer.

You are not happy. Switch to formula and enjoy your new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

OP here. The pediatrician is on his side. She said we should ultimately do what I think is best, but advised us to breastfeed if it’s going well because of the pandemic and cold/flu season.

But it’s NOT going well. You’re struggling. You don’t want to do it.

OP here. I don’t want to do it but it is going well. He eats well and is gaining weight. We have not had any issues that some experience like tongue ties or latch issues. He loves breastfeeding. The issue is not him breastfeeding, it’s the fact that I always have leaking nipples and breasts full of milk that hurt. I can’t sleep for very long without needing to breastfeed or pump.

Ah, yeah the engirgement is such a pain — if it helps at all, my supply started stabilizing and I was able to sleep as long as the baby did with waking up with achy boobs by 3-4 weeks. Can you just hand express or use a hakaa at night? The pumping is probably contributing to your discomfort since your body thinks the baby needs to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

Wrong!!!

You’re not a mother are you PP?

Yes, yes I am.

Odd that the concept of doing what is best for ones child over personal convenience eludes you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly given covid I would try to give your baby more covid antibodies (Assuming you got vaxxed?)

How old is your baby? I’d do it for the first three months if you can.

It’s your decision though. Not cool of your husband to overly pressure you

OP here. He is 2 weeks old. Born 9/8.

I think the mistake is trying to make a decision NOW for the next 6 months. Take it one week at a time. See how you feel. Two weeks is the worst of it. The first month is annoying and then it gets really easy.

This is good advice. One week at a time. Breastfeeding i believe gets really easy. My first was formula fed and mixing bottles and washing them
Was such a pain. Second one I breast and at was so nice to always have food ready! Even if out of the house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you should try to do what the pediatrician recommends. Not because your husband wants you to but because this is a sacrifice you are doing for the wellbeing of your child. I agree with others that it will get easier and 2 weeks is not a great frame of mind to be making this decisions.

But I suggest that you continue to do both breastfeeding and formula. Don’t pump. People think its one or the other, but its more common than you’d think to do both. Many moms keep the bedtime feeding for weeks (maybe months) after they have dropped the others. Try doing at least 2 breastfeeding every day - morning and night - and use formula in between.

OP here. I pump once a day for about 10 minutes. I need to pump because I go 4-6 hours without feeding him at night.

A two week should not be going 4-6 hours at night without eating. My pediatrician said no more than 4 hours at that age.

OP here. He doesn’t go more than 4 hours. My husband feeds him once during the time I sleep. He eats every two hours during the day. I will feed him at night around 10, and he will wake up at around 12 and my husband will feed him, and I will feed him when he wakes up at 3 or 4. He was waking up at 2 but has started sleeping a little longer. I get a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep. I pump at when he wakes up because I am full of milk and he doesn’t eat enough to empty my breast. Normally he will eat on one side and I pump the other while he eats.

[Anonymous]

Op tell DH to take a hike.

[Anonymous]

Your supply will adjust. Right now it’s driven primarily by hormones which are going LACTATE LACTATE LACTATE, but soon it will be entirely demand-driven. Your body has a strong sense of time, and you’ll find that as you settle into a nursing rhythm you stop producing so much at times you’re not used to nursing. The first time my baby slept through a normal feeding time I was quite uncomfortable, but after a night or two I wasn’t at all.

That said, you shouldn’t keep nursing if you really don’t like it. But I do want to tell you that the uncomfortable constantly full leaky feeling fades after the first couple of weeks.

Love,
Nursing the fourth baby, this has happened every time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

OP here. The pediatrician is on his side. She said we should ultimately do what I think is best, but advised us to breastfeed if it’s going well because of the pandemic and cold/flu season.

But it’s NOT going well. You’re struggling. You don’t want to do it.

OP here. I don’t want to do it but it is going well. He eats well and is gaining weight. We have not had any issues that some experience like tongue ties or latch issues. He loves breastfeeding. The issue is not him breastfeeding, it’s the fact that I always have leaking nipples and breasts full of milk that hurt. I can’t sleep for very long without needing to breastfeed or pump.

Ah, yeah the engirgement is such a pain — if it helps at all, my supply started stabilizing and I was able to sleep as long as the baby did with waking up with achy boobs by 3-4 weeks. Can you just hand express or use a hakaa at night? The pumping is probably contributing to your discomfort since your body thinks the baby needs to eat.

OP here. I do use the Haakaa during the day but it’s not enough at night. I go 5/6 hours at night and wake up with very full breasts. I make the most milk then and he only eats from one breast. I pump the other one while he eats.

I have thought about not pumping until empty at that time but it’s early and I heard that can cause clogs.

[Anonymous]

He can lactate if he feels so strongly.

Most parenting decisions are joint. This one is your body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

This is the absolute worst take. Breastfeeding is not for everyone and this type of pressure on moms is toxic. Fed by a happy, healthy mom is best. And that means however you choose to do it.

My husband also wanted me to nurse and I tried to talk myself into it because of that kind of pressure despite knowing it wasn’t right for me. Eventually we both recognized the toll it was taking on me and we decided to switch to formula altogether. No question it was the best decision for us. I went from feeling increasingly resentful and trapped to actually enjoying my time with my baby. We went straight to formula with baby 2. Zero regrets.

Do what is best for your family, and that includes taking mom into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

OP here. The pediatrician is on his side. She said we should ultimately do what I think is best, but advised us to breastfeed if it’s going well because of the pandemic and cold/flu season.

But it’s NOT going well. You’re struggling. You don’t want to do it.

OP here. I don’t want to do it but it is going well. He eats well and is gaining weight. We have not had any issues that some experience like tongue ties or latch issues. He loves breastfeeding. The issue is not him breastfeeding, it’s the fact that I always have leaking nipples and breasts full of milk that hurt. I can’t sleep for very long without needing to breastfeed or pump.

Ah, yeah the engirgement is such a pain — if it helps at all, my supply started stabilizing and I was able to sleep as long as the baby did with waking up with achy boobs by 3-4 weeks. Can you just hand express or use a hakaa at night? The pumping is probably contributing to your discomfort since your body thinks the baby needs to eat.

OP here. I do use the Haakaa during the day but it’s not enough at night. I go 5/6 hours at night and wake up with very full breasts. I make the most milk then and he only eats from one breast. I pump the other one while he eats.

I have thought about not pumping until empty at that time but it’s early and I heard that can cause clogs.

You can unclog clogs. Some women are prone to them, but I’ve gotten…two, ever? In about six years total of breastfeeding. And neither early on with a baby. You’ll keep making a lot of milk at night if you keep pumping after the long sleep. A tiny bit for comfort is fine, but if you empty the breast you’re going to keep producing more than you need at that time.

[Anonymous]

When he grows boobs he has a say otherwise tell him to shut up

This does not bode well for your marriage

He’s a control freak

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

Wrong!!!

You’re not a mother are you PP?

Yes, yes I am.

Odd that the concept of doing what is best for ones child over personal convenience eludes you.

That's right. OP needs to whip out that tittie and get to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

This is the absolute worst take. Breastfeeding is not for everyone and this type of pressure on moms is toxic. Fed by a happy, healthy mom is best. And that means however you choose to do it.

My husband also wanted me to nurse and I tried to talk myself into it because of that kind of pressure despite knowing it wasn’t right for me. Eventually we both recognized the toll it was taking on me and we decided to switch to formula altogether. No question it was the best decision for us. I went from feeling increasingly resentful and trapped to actually enjoying my time with my baby. We went straight to formula with baby 2. Zero regrets.

Do what is best for your family, and that includes taking mom into account.

This. I'd also advise you to get a new pediatrician, one who is capable of nuance, but that's a different discussion.