Silently resentful of my sisters for marrying well

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sisters married well...one to a complete dork, who has only become dorkier as the years go on, and one to a control freak.

I'd rather live my own life rather than be tied to a dork who thinks the "Life is Good" shirts are so cool and provide a good message to the kids, or two a man who ensures I go for a five mile run or bike ride every morning. No excuses, only way to start the day.

Sure they will die with larger bank accounts, but I will die having lived my best life.

Not surprised you are single. A guy wears silly t-shirts. The horror!

1. I'm not single

2. I'm fine with guys wearing "silly t-shirts", but he doesn't see them as silly. He gave us a good five minutes speech about how he loves their message to teens, and buys his teens these overpriced dork shirts every time he travels. Total nerd who doesn't have a clue on how to dress outside of the office. Nothing I'm going to chain myself to just for a bigger house and larger bank account. My niece and nephews do not wear them. They shove them in a dresser drawer until they are donated or someone needs a shirt to go home in.

You seem like a nice person No wonder why your half sisters aren't very warm with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sisters married well...one to a complete dork, who has only become dorkier as the years go on, and one to a control freak.

I'd rather live my own life rather than be tied to a dork who thinks the "Life is Good" shirts are so cool and provide a good message to the kids, or two a man who ensures I go for a five mile run or bike ride every morning. No excuses, only way to start the day.

Sure they will die with larger bank accounts, but I will die having lived my best life.

Not surprised you are single. A guy wears silly t-shirts. The horror!

1. I'm not single

2. I'm fine with guys wearing "silly t-shirts", but he doesn't see them as silly. He gave us a good five minutes speech about how he loves their message to teens, and buys his teens these overpriced dork shirts every time he travels. Total nerd who doesn't have a clue on how to dress outside of the office. Nothing I'm going to chain myself to just for a bigger house and larger bank account. My niece and nephews do not wear them. They shove them in a dresser drawer until they are donated or someone needs a shirt to go home in.

You sound like a jerk. A certified jerk. You do not like the way he dresses, so what. Maybe he does not like your style either. But maybe he is a good guy, with brains and a heart, something you seem to be missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sisters married well...one to a complete dork, who has only become dorkier as the years go on, and one to a control freak.

I'd rather live my own life rather than be tied to a dork who thinks the "Life is Good" shirts are so cool and provide a good message to the kids, or two a man who ensures I go for a five mile run or bike ride every morning. No excuses, only way to start the day.

Sure they will die with larger bank accounts, but I will die having lived my best life.

Not surprised you are single. A guy wears silly t-shirts. The horror!

1. I'm not single

2. I'm fine with guys wearing "silly t-shirts", but he doesn't see them as silly. He gave us a good five minutes speech about how he loves their message to teens, and buys his teens these overpriced dork shirts every time he travels. Total nerd who doesn't have a clue on how to dress outside of the office. Nothing I'm going to chain myself to just for a bigger house and larger bank account. My niece and nephews do not wear them. They shove them in a dresser drawer until they are donated or someone needs a shirt to go home in.

You sound like a jerk. A certified jerk. You do not like the way he dresses, so what. Maybe he does not like your style either. But maybe he is a good guy, with brains and a heart, something you seem to be missing.

Perhaps PP could use a few LIG shirts to lighten her up.

[Anonymous]

Guess all the wives of the highly paid dorks are online today.

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for my college education at the college I wanted to attend but my sister had to go to a school she had never visited because she got a full scholarship. I know she was resentful! But the worm turned because she had a very successful and her husband had an even way more successful career and they are extremely wealthy. I’m not! I am resentful but I do my best to not show it because she is always very nice to me and helped me financially a few times no questions asked.

[Anonymous]

You sound like you don’t understand how marriage works. Your sisters did not get homes “for free”. They own those homes as marital property. One sister received an inheritance because she lost a parent. I’m sorry you are unhappy, but it may be for the best you not be responsible for raising children until you’ve done some work on your perception of yourself and others.

[Anonymous]

I imagine they would rather their father be alive than their inheritance, no? Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP again) So there’s one other dynamic here that I’m thinking of - and that’s the way we were raised. My mother raised my sisters with a lot more social freedom growing up and less academic pressure. My parents in the 90s became academics (they had just gotten PhDs) and pressured me to do well in school. I don’t regret that at all - but I was raised to believe that kids who got straight As would become more successful than kids who didn’t care and got C’s. But my sisters did the opposite - they prioritized relationships and having fun. I prioritized school, brand name universities, and getting a DC job. I’ve accomplished more, professionally (being a mother IS an accomplishment, to their credit) and had more unconventional experiences, but a lower standard of living to show for my hard work.

But not a low standard of living. You have plenty to show for yourself and a privileged life. I just can’t wrap my brain around this kind of pettiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They may be better off right now, but remember that you don't have a crystal ball. You are young. You are on a good path with a successful career. Your generation is marrying later. Continue to make decisions to maximize your happiness/success. There are so many unknowns out there in the future and you don't know what will happen to your sisters or to yourself down the line.

This OP is a good advice imo.

[Anonymous]

OP you must take responsibility for your own happiness, find joy in what you are doing, or stop doing it. People who are overly pressured by thier parents to be a certain way as adults may find that it does not make them happy. If you aren’t happy, construct a different life. Sell your condo and travel the world! Get a more flexible job! Take control of your own life and you will be less resentful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They may be better off right now, but remember that you don't have a crystal ball. You are young. You are on a good path with a successful career. Your generation is marrying later. Continue to make decisions to maximize your happiness/success. There are so many unknowns out there in the future and you don't know what will happen to your sisters or to yourself down the line.

Perhaps with respect to a career, but after reading subsequent posts by OP, she is most definitely not on a good path.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a common dynamic for older sisters to tease the youngest for being a "spoiled baby." My sisters did this, we're in the same generation and same parents. BUT, if your sisters are STILL doing this, I might speak up and point out the advantages that they enjoyed (leave out the deceased father inheritance though).

It doesn't make much sense to compare yourself to your sisters. They are an entirely different generation, different genetics, different father, different upbringing. I'm Gen X and I get kinda mad about the boomers, but really, what are you going to do? Your sisters have what, 10-15 years on you, that they have built their lives. You might be surprised to see where you could be in 10-15 years.

This resentment means something, but it means something about YOU, not about your sisters. You're unhappy with your current situation and wish it were better, you think you deserve better than what you have. That has nothing to do with them. So, you figure out a plan to make your life what you want it to be, and work toward that. You'll get to a point where you won't even believe that you were ever jealous of your sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you don’t understand how marriage works. Your sisters did not get homes “for free”. They own those homes as marital property. One sister received an inheritance because she lost a parent. I’m sorry you are unhappy, but it may be for the best you not be responsible for raising children until you’ve done some work on your perception of yourself and others.

+1

OP, grow up and work on not being so petty.

[Anonymous]

OP, you've earned your way to a decent lifestyle. Be proud that you know you can take care of yourself and let go of your jealousy of your sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If half-sisters were latchkey kids, it means that OP’s mom had to work and no one was home to support the sisters like OP was supported. Mother remarried and OP was born into a more stable household. That can make a huge difference in how well the sisters did academically and professionally. Count your blessings, OP.

Fair point, I guess I didn’t really think of it like that. I’d always say we were varying degrees of middle class. Generally it was a matter of people earning more later in life. My sisters father and my mother were probably LMC working parents in the 70s-80s. As was my father when he first met my mother. My sisters’ childhood in the 80s and early 90s was probably harder, certainly financially.

It’s easy I guess to fixate on the current situation, which is me scraping by to own a small condo and pay student loans while my sisters got free mansions. I do have some pride in probably having the highest earning power at my age and best career. And it’s not over, who knows who I’ll meet or what I’ll earn down the road.

Wow, OP, let it go. You have shown you can provide for yourself. Be proud of that. It's weird how much you've fixated on your sisters' lives. Maybe consider some therapy around this?