Silently resentful of my sisters for marrying well

[Anonymous]

I mean…the got “free” McMansions because their DAD died. I guess you can hope your dad dies soon so you can inherit his money and finally get your free house? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess all the wives of the highly paid dorks are online today.

Nope. I just kind of like life is good. Those shirts are super soft.

[Anonymous]

PLEASE read! Her dad IS dead!

[Anonymous]

OP you need to ask them to set you up with some rich guys!!

I get that them teasing you can be annoying. Sometimes siblings (especially ones with an age gap who are not super close) get into a pattern of saying the same things to each other. They may not even mean it anymore, they’re just saying it to follow the usual pattern. Let it go. Or make a light-hearted comeback “Yeah I was spoiled then but not anymore with my 50 hour workweeks lately!” Nothing that would offend them, just something to remind them you’re no longer a spoiled child! Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Their father is dead. For most of us this is terrible and the last way you want to get rich. Please enjoy your youth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PLEASE read! Her dad IS dead!

Yes, but no inheritance yet because her mom owned it jointly with him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PLEASE read! Her dad IS dead!

Yes, but no inheritance yet because her mom owned it jointly with him!

Which will probably be split 3 ways with the other sisters as well.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read through all of the posts (only got to the 2nd page of the thread), but you sound like you're doing well OP. Focus on what you can control - dating, saving money, paying your mortgage and student loans. Try not to focus too much on comparing yourselves to your sisters. It's a waste of time and energy. Also, there will always be people wealthier than you who didn't earn it.

Take it from me, I grew up LMC, went to Ivies, saved and scraped, married a guy with as similar pedigree...We now live in a 1.5M house in Greenwich, CT and bizarrely, I feel poor every day because my kids go to school with kids who live in 3M and 4M McMansions and most of the moms who I know here don't work. They just live off their husbands insane salaries and/or trust funds. I work, I stress about money all the time, I am still paying off my student loans (25K to go) and can't believe that I feel this way as an adult with all the trappings of success that I always dreamed of - and more. No matter where you go you will find privileged people who haven't had to work for what they have and if you are a human it will annoy you, but you have to shake your head and let it go at a certain point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP again) So there’s one other dynamic here that I’m thinking of - and that’s the way we were raised. My mother raised my sisters with a lot more social freedom growing up and less academic pressure. My parents in the 90s became academics (they had just gotten PhDs) and pressured me to do well in school. I don’t regret that at all - but I was raised to believe that kids who got straight As would become more successful than kids who didn’t care and got C’s. But my sisters did the opposite - they prioritized relationships and having fun. I prioritized school, brand name universities, and getting a DC job. I’ve accomplished more, professionally (being a mother IS an accomplishment, to their credit) and had more unconventional experiences, but a lower standard of living to show for my hard work.

OP, I am more impressed by you than your half-sisters. Any woman can have unprotected sex and have children. It's not an accomplishment. Your half-sisters are screwed if their husbands ever divorce them or die by suicide (no life insurance for them). They won't be able to find lucrative work like you do so I truly think you're in a better position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(OP again) So there’s one other dynamic here that I’m thinking of - and that’s the way we were raised. My mother raised my sisters with a lot more social freedom growing up and less academic pressure. My parents in the 90s became academics (they had just gotten PhDs) and pressured me to do well in school. I don’t regret that at all - but I was raised to believe that kids who got straight As would become more successful than kids who didn’t care and got C’s. But my sisters did the opposite - they prioritized relationships and having fun. I prioritized school, brand name universities, and getting a DC job. I’ve accomplished more, professionally (being a mother IS an accomplishment, to their credit) and had more unconventional experiences, but a lower standard of living to show for my hard work.

OP, I am more impressed by you than your half-sisters. Any woman can have unprotected sex and have children. It's not an accomplishment. Your half-sisters are screwed if their husbands ever divorce them or die by suicide (no life insurance for them). They won't be able to find lucrative work like you do so I truly think you're in a better position.

Actually, many people struggle with fertility problems. So not true that everyone can pop out a baby. Also, if half sisters are married to wealthy men and not working there is a good chance their husbands have life insurance (I know suicide doesn’t apply with life insurance, but the odds of either of the husbands committing suicide is low).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(OP again) So there’s one other dynamic here that I’m thinking of - and that’s the way we were raised. My mother raised my sisters with a lot more social freedom growing up and less academic pressure. My parents in the 90s became academics (they had just gotten PhDs) and pressured me to do well in school. I don’t regret that at all - but I was raised to believe that kids who got straight As would become more successful than kids who didn’t care and got C’s. But my sisters did the opposite - they prioritized relationships and having fun. I prioritized school, brand name universities, and getting a DC job. I’ve accomplished more, professionally (being a mother IS an accomplishment, to their credit) and had more unconventional experiences, but a lower standard of living to show for my hard work.

OP, I am more impressed by you than your half-sisters. Any woman can have unprotected sex and have children. It's not an accomplishment. Your half-sisters are screwed if their husbands ever divorce them or die by suicide (no life insurance for them). They won't be able to find lucrative work like you do so I truly think you're in a better position.

What a weird take. If they are genuinely well off and they divorce, the sisters will get half. And have children. And not all these weird resentments. So ahead of the OP by a long shot...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP again) So there’s one other dynamic here that I’m thinking of - and that’s the way we were raised. My mother raised my sisters with a lot more social freedom growing up and less academic pressure. My parents in the 90s became academics (they had just gotten PhDs) and pressured me to do well in school. I don’t regret that at all - but I was raised to believe that kids who got straight As would become more successful than kids who didn’t care and got C’s. But my sisters did the opposite - they prioritized relationships and having fun. I prioritized school, brand name universities, and getting a DC job. I’ve accomplished more, professionally (being a mother IS an accomplishment, to their credit) and had more unconventional experiences, but a lower standard of living to show for my hard work.

Being a mother is not an accomplishment. I say this as a mother, though not just a mother.

[Anonymous]

OP, you mentioned several times that your parents and your sister’s father were much more financially successful as they aged. That could be you, too! You sound like you are in a great position.

I think you really are just annoyed at your sisters’ teasing. I am sure they have their own version just as is the case in all sibling relationships.

[Anonymous]

Life is long. Circumstances change. Comparison is the death of happiness. If you enjoy your sisters’ presence in your life, focus on that. On the bright side, you don’t have siblings needing financial assistance from you.

I think the different dad thing can be hard. I have a half sister and it’s weird, but unavoidable, to think about the pros and cons of having her mom instead of my own. My own mother is incredibly mean and suffers from severe mental illness. I often wish I had a different mother and get jealous of my sister / step sister - they didn’t go through what I went through. But it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

I say this gently. You have some personal growth to go through.

Life is fundamentally unfair. The study hard work hard ethic should serve you well throughout your life, but is not determinative. A lot of external factors contribute to one's lot in life. The best anyone could do is focus on what is within their control and do the best they can for their own life. Looking at other people who've had it easier than you is NOT the path to happiness.