Silently resentful of my sisters for marrying well

[Anonymous]

First off - my sisters and I have a great relationship and this isn’t something that creates any real conflict. It’s just something I’m quietly resentful of

I have two much older sisters, technically half-sisters, they have a different father.

Growing up, they sort of teased me for being spoiled, sheltered, and un-streetsmart. At the time, they weren’t wrong, but none of this was my fault. They are Gen X, raised as latchkey kids, were given a lot more independence and freedom growing up in the 80s. I’m a millennial, and I guess norms had just shifted by the mid-90s and parenting changed to be more hands-on by then. My parents also started to make more money by then, so I was spoiled with more “things” after my sisters had gone to college, and I wasn’t pushed to work a summer job until I was 18. They also teased me for lack of financial independence because I was kept on the family cell phone plan into college.

15 or so years later, the tables have turned. My sisters’ father, who ended up making a lot of money in Big Law after he and my mother divorced, died and left them everything. One of my sisters got a house for free. She’s now a SAHM and her husband works for Big Pharma. They gained equity on their first house and now own a 5000 square foot McMansion. My other sister married young into a wealthy family and also got a free house and free private school education for her kids. She works part time and has all this free time for her art and design hobbies and her dogs.

Me, I’m over 30 and not married. I have student loans. I have a mortgage. I’m doing pretty well (not by DCUM standards but in the grand scheme of things, six figures is doing well). I work in a great job I had to earn my way towards through education and hard work. My sisters were both C students at lower-tier schools and never worked that hard, academically or professionally. They had the fortune of starting off with money and marrying well, earlier in life. I love them dearly, don’t get me wrong, but I sort of resent how they have much higher standards of living without having to actually work for it. I suppose I could be proud of being a self-made career-woman, but my sisters still think of me as a pampered spoiled 90s kid (and I was “spoiled” with things like summer camps and Christmas gifts, not fully funded tuition or anything).

Anyways, sorry for the long post, I’m just venting silently what I wouldn’t ever want to say out loud to my family.

[Anonymous]

It’s okay to vent, pp, that’s what many of us do on DCUM because it is anonymous. That’s nice that you have a good relationship with your sisters despite all the differences.

[Anonymous]

It’s ok, just don’t let that resentment build and work on the things that you want for your life. Do you want to get married? Are you actively looking?

[Anonymous]

Vent away! People with high standards they never had to earn piss me off, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Vent away! People with high standards they never had to earn piss me off, too.

+1 It also seems pretty clear that your sisters were jealous of you and the opportunities you had when you were young. And probably some typical half-sibling resentment since their parents didn’t stay together.

Some families never grow out of the childhood dynamic. Be very proud of your accomplishments!

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what “much older” means to you, but if the sisters are 10 years older than you, give yourself some time to catch up.

[Anonymous]

Ask them to play matchmaker for you. Maybe you can find a good man from their $$$ circles.

[Anonymous]

How do they have a different father?
I am confused. You said, my mom and sister's father divorced, and he made more money.
So who is your father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do they have a different father?
I am confused. You said, my mom and sister's father divorced, and he made more money.
So who is your father?

Somebody else. Duh.

[Anonymous]

If half-sisters were latchkey kids, it means that OP’s mom had to work and no one was home to support the sisters like OP was supported. Mother remarried and OP was born into a more stable household. That can make a huge difference in how well the sisters did academically and professionally. Count your blessings, OP.

[Anonymous]

Fyi it’s a lot harder to excel in school when you are working and don’t have parental guidance and support so I wouldn’t pat yourself in the back too much-it sounds like you WERE a bit spoiled compared to them and those things likely made it easier for you to fo well in school.

[Anonymous]

Well my sister married a wealthier man too, former athlete who bro’d his way into a job thanks to private school connections. AND my family continues to give her money because she’s the youngest (she’s 35) like appliances for the home etc while never helped us at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they have a different father?
I am confused. You said, my mom and sister's father divorced, and he made more money.
So who is your father?

Somebody else. Duh.

The latchkey kids I know had a much harder childhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do they have a different father?
I am confused. You said, my mom and sister's father divorced, and he made more money.
So who is your father?

Somebody else. Duh.

The latchkey kids I know had a much harder childhood.

+1 team latchkey kid here.

[Anonymous]

They may be better off right now, but remember that you don't have a crystal ball. You are young. You are on a good path with a successful career. Your generation is marrying later. Continue to make decisions to maximize your happiness/success. There are so many unknowns out there in the future and you don't know what will happen to your sisters or to yourself down the line.