If your spouse has become a 'roommate' and you are just friends...
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Anonymous
| But you have 2 kids, do you just suck it up? We are literally just roommates. There is zero passion. We haven't had sex in 3 years. I don't quite know how this happened but it did... I am not sure what I am even asking but am depressed and sad. |
Anonymous
| What would happen if you came onto him? |
Anonymous
|
OP here. I don't want to. I am not attracted to him at this point. I know the fake it till you make it thing might increase my libido. It isn't that I have become asexual either because I am attracted to random men I see when out. I think we focused on our kids too much and before you know it - we're just 'friends'.
I am going to see a therapist but wanted to post here to see what others have to say. |
Anonymous
| How about talking to your spouse? Getting screened for depression? Going to couples counseling? |
Anonymous
| Were you ever attracted to him? Or was he always more of a friend than a lover? |
Anonymous
| Does your name start with P? |
Anonymous
| Does your name start with an m? (Wtf?) |
Anonymous
No. You just described my life is all and I wondered if you were my dw. |
Anonymous
|
Op you are not alone. I have been married for 10 years with a 4 and 5yo...it is a little worse in my case because my DH has emotionally shut me out for years. We are in therapy now and I am struggling with the realization that I do not feel love for him anymore. We have a good life on the outside...both have good jobs, great kids, house in an awesome neighborhood, lots of friends...but I am terribly lonely and I am not sure that everything else good in life can lift the rock out of my belly feeling.
Like you, I have no idea where I want to go from here. |
Anonymous
| I'm in your boat too. I love my husband and I don't feel lonely; we are very close, best friends in fact. So that makes it even harder. |
Anonymous
| What if you got a sitter and went out in a date? And forced yourself to kiss at the end? You have to start somewhere, right? |
Anonymous
|
No sex in three years?
That is really bad OP. Then you have serious marital issues that need to be addressed sooner rather than later. Are you still "in love" with your husband? Do you think it is possible to still get that "giddy, schoolgirl" feeling for him that you once did? A good way to find out is for you to re-create your first date with him. Go to the place where you first went out to and try to re-create what you both did when you first met. Remember those first precious moments and how you both felt. Use that as a starting point and go from there.... Hopefully that can bring some of the spark back. |
Anonymous
|
Hi OP. I'm in the exact same boat. Nothing from my Dh. It kills me more and more every day.
Not sure what yo do either. Of course divorce is not easy but maybe a split may be best before we hate each other. It just makes me sad. I keep bringing it up to my husband. He changes for a week then back to same ok thing. Our roommate status obviously doesn't bother him. Tired of crying on the inside and being lonely. I want to be happy again. I can't imagine living like this for another 14 years. |
Anonymous
Why did you marry someone you weren't sexually or romantically attracted to? So unfair to your DH! |
Anonymous
where did she say that she hadn't been sexually or romantically attracted to him when they married? lots of us were upon marriage and have lost these important aspects along the way... that is what we are struggling to deal with. but thanks for your support. |