What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mid 20s son tells you his girlfriend of a year is pregnant and wants your advice.

They don’t know how far along she is and they have a joint appointment at planned parenthood in the next 48 hours.

What would you actually say?

Time to get an abortion.

[Anonymous]

Lawyer

OP helping the girlfriend name her son as the presumptive father on the birth certificate actually preserves his legal rights.

It would be more difficult for him if he weren’t named to ever recover those rights, it would be expensive.

Getting out of paternity, conversely, is an easy DNA test.

[Anonymous]

OP, another supporter here who knows that cryptic pregnancies can happen (my first cousin had one discovered at 30 weeks) and that offering your help to a newly postpartum mom with a preterm child is the decent and right thing to do for a child that is very very likely to be your grandchild, especially because he looks just like your son in the pics. I don’t understand why it is taking so long for your 27 year old to wake up to the reality of fatherhood.

Is he over there helping every day?

How far away are you? Can you visit the child yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mid 20s son tells you his girlfriend of a year is pregnant and wants your advice.

They don’t know how far along she is and they have a joint appointment at planned parenthood in the next 48 hours.

What would you actually say?

Time to get an abortion.

That's why he didn't know until 5 days before she birthed kid. She was lying or in denial or just hopelessly in body dysmorphia. I wouldn't partner up with her even without a kid.

[Anonymous]

What the baby looks like is what people see.
Get the paternity test. No harm if he is the biological father... relationship is already strained and this could improve some of it.
And if he isn't it is grossly unfair to the young man not to have that known.
OP can voluntarily do whatever she wants. But legally forcing an unproven lifetime obligation on her son isn't exactly "supporting" him.
There is sufficient uncertainty regarding what the mother knew and when she knew it to inquire via DNA. She may be in denial.

[Anonymous]

She may be a victim of assault. Not by OP son. Deep denial.

[Anonymous]

Hey y’all

I’m OP.

Baby is 9 days old birthdate 1/20/26 you can hold me to it

I have not seen the baby. My older son who flew in emergently and did some sitting with his brother. I still delivered baby supplies in the way of my “extra son” who is my son’s best friend who is still here locally and he can do these things.

I just delivered formula and diapers that I could order.

The crazy thing to me is that my ex still seems to think that this young adult woman has “trapped” my son and I’m like WTF you do not even know

You could not get pregnant and pretend to even know how your body will respond

You could not plan to get to 32 weeks without no one else noticing, but no one did

My son was intimate with her and he apparently did not even now.

If it makes anyone feel better, my older son has been spending time with my ex who cheated on me this whole lifetime with the woman he worked with

His name is Rob but my son calls him GOD

God apparently finally says that it’s OK I sent the baby diapers and formula

[Anonymous]

Has nobody considered the girlfriend's reaction to this supposed surprise pregnancy?
If you had a surprise baby, would you be serenely texting the grandmother for info for the birth certificate and snapping pics for distribution to the grandmother?
Or would you be way stressed out?

The fact that the girlfriend's mental status is not of concern suggests thst she had been anticipating this baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has nobody considered the girlfriend's reaction to this supposed surprise pregnancy?
If you had a surprise baby, would you be serenely texting the grandmother for info for the birth certificate and snapping pics for distribution to the grandmother?
Or would you be way stressed out?

The fact that the girlfriend's mental status is not of concern suggests thst she had been anticipating this baby.

[phone]

Let Rob/dad/G#D get paternity test done and results.
If OP son is DNA dad then case closed. If NOT, case closed.
Why not do this?
She still could have trapped him btw but at least the kid he has to pay for is his.

[Anonymous]

BTW OP if baby was born shortly after you first posted and got released from NICU in a week to beat the snow and can feed, etc. then likelihood of Kevin having been born 6 lb 4 oz and 33 weeks are not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW OP if baby was born shortly after you first posted and got released from NICU in a week to beat the snow and can feed, etc. then likelihood of Kevin having been born 6 lb 4 oz and 33 weeks are not good.

6 lb 4 oz is more like a 35/36 baby probably 37 weeks. My 33 week baby was 3.9 oz.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW OP if baby was born shortly after you first posted and got released from NICU in a week to beat the snow and can feed, etc. then likelihood of Kevin having been born 6 lb 4 oz and 33 weeks are not good.

+1 exactly!

[Anonymous]

Rob/God is in charge of paternity, calm down.

Some of you are gross boy moms. If my son ever acted like Kevin’s dad I would be sad and ashamed. OP is absolutely doing the right things. I hope her son isn’t trying to make her choose between Kevin and her son. No one can force him to love his child, but it’s not his right to keep a grandmother separated from a grandchild either!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has nobody considered the girlfriend's reaction to this supposed surprise pregnancy?
If you had a surprise baby, would you be serenely texting the grandmother for info for the birth certificate and snapping pics for distribution to the grandmother?
Or would you be way stressed out?

The fact that the girlfriend's mental status is not of concern suggests thst she had been anticipating this baby.

You are projecting a lot onto the mother of this baby that soap has never said. You can’t detect “serenity” from the simple fact that she sent pics. I was an absolutely basket case when my son was in the NICU but I still texted lots of people pics.

She is understandably relieved, I’m sure, to have been hearing nothing but kindness and helpfulness from OP since this began.

My son was 5.5 at 34 weeks. It really doesn’t matter if she was 34 or 35 weeks along. OP’s son was sleeping with her for at least the past 9 months and had no clue whatsoever. Even with extreme body dysmorphia or trauma, presumably Kevin’s dad would have noticed if his GF suddenly looked 8 months preggers. She didn’t. Cryptic pregnancies really can happen.

I wonder OP…why don’t you ask to go visit your grandchild?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has nobody considered the girlfriend's reaction to this supposed surprise pregnancy?
If you had a surprise baby, would you be serenely texting the grandmother for info for the birth certificate and snapping pics for distribution to the grandmother?
Or would you be way stressed out?

The fact that the girlfriend's mental status is not of concern suggests thst she had been anticipating this baby.

You are projecting a lot onto the mother of this baby that soap has never said. You can’t detect “serenity” from the simple fact that she sent pics. I was an absolutely basket case when my son was in the NICU but I still texted lots of people pics.

She is understandably relieved, I’m sure, to have been hearing nothing but kindness and helpfulness from OP since this began.

My son was 5.5 at 34 weeks. It really doesn’t matter if she was 34 or 35 weeks along. OP’s son was sleeping with her for at least the past 9 months and had no clue whatsoever. Even with extreme body dysmorphia or trauma, presumably Kevin’s dad would have noticed if his GF suddenly looked 8 months preggers. She didn’t. Cryptic pregnancies really can happen.

I wonder OP…why don’t you ask to go visit your grandchild?

Usually, young women who have a surprise baby are in denial about it, not sitting in a hospital worried about that baby that they didn't anticipate having. The surprise babies that are happily received are usually born to older women who gave up the possibility about having a baby in the first place and thought the cessation of their period meant early menopause.