is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outdated in elite schools. Every one, male or female, is so career oriented. No one is investing in "finding spouse" seriously. Most break up at graduation due to jobs in different locations anyway.

BS. Two ivy kids. Both married their significant other from college. This is the highest probability of finding a match that is similar to your kid’s IQ , earning potential and socio-economic environment. They will never again be around that many eligible singles in their lives…..

This. One caveat, though: girls will have to initiate with many of the clueless boys. Those that refuse because they want more confident men are the ones who end up single in their mid-30s, watching their now-confident male former peers date whoever they want. Then they will have to “settle” or not have kids, or both, given their age.

Antiquated

Accurate. Geeky boy Ivy types do just fine in their 30s. But they also tend to be nicer guys. Get them in college and they will be great husbands. These guys will ultimately do well either way. But for women, things often do not work out.

The popular Ivy type guys with early confidence are the ones who leave their wives in their 30s and 40s for younger women; they are the ones who develop midlife crises and seek the glory days. We have all seen this many times…

No, its a mixed bag and geeky types can develop midlife crises and divorce to date younger, while popular guys can be devoted for life. You really cant make that broad judgment when there are other things that correlate a lot more.

Sigh. Think of the shy, geeky smart boys you knew in your elite college.
Think of the confident male players.
Fast forward 20 years.
Which group, in general, made better husbands?
Not. Even. Close.
If this is not obvious to you, it is because these were not your circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outdated in elite schools. Every one, male or female, is so career oriented. No one is investing in "finding spouse" seriously. Most break up at graduation due to jobs in different locations anyway.

BS. Two ivy kids. Both married their significant other from college. This is the highest probability of finding a match that is similar to your kid’s IQ , earning potential and socio-economic environment. They will never again be around that many eligible singles in their lives…..

This. One caveat, though: girls will have to initiate with many of the clueless boys. Those that refuse because they want more confident men are the ones who end up single in their mid-30s, watching their now-confident male former peers date whoever they want. Then they will have to “settle” or not have kids, or both, given their age.

Antiquated

Accurate. Geeky boy Ivy types do just fine in their 30s. But they also tend to be nicer guys. Get them in college and they will be great husbands. These guys will ultimately do well either way. But for women, things often do not work out.

The popular Ivy type guys with early confidence are the ones who leave their wives in their 30s and 40s for younger women; they are the ones who develop midlife crises and seek the glory days. We have all seen this many times…

No, its a mixed bag and geeky types can develop midlife crises and divorce to date younger, while popular guys can be devoted for life. You really cant make that broad judgment when there are other things that correlate a lot more.

Sigh. Think of the shy, geeky smart boys you knew in your elite college.
Think of the confident male players.
Fast forward 20 years.
Which group, in general, made better husbands?
Not. Even. Close.
If this is not obvious to you, it is because these were not your circles.

+1
My slightly nerdy husband and I have been in a solid marriage for 20+ years. The athletes I dated are on their 2nd+ marriages.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t go through all the threads but OP's q is one of the reasons we're considering colleges in Europe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outdated in elite schools. Every one, male or female, is so career oriented. No one is investing in "finding spouse" seriously. Most break up at graduation due to jobs in different locations anyway.

BS. Two ivy kids. Both married their significant other from college. This is the highest probability of finding a match that is similar to your kid’s IQ , earning potential and socio-economic environment. They will never again be around that many eligible singles in their lives…..

This. One caveat, though: girls will have to initiate with many of the clueless boys. Those that refuse because they want more confident men are the ones who end up single in their mid-30s, watching their now-confident male former peers date whoever they want. Then they will have to “settle” or not have kids, or both, given their age.

Antiquated

Accurate. Geeky boy Ivy types do just fine in their 30s. But they also tend to be nicer guys. Get them in college and they will be great husbands. These guys will ultimately do well either way. But for women, things often do not work out.

The popular Ivy type guys with early confidence are the ones who leave their wives in their 30s and 40s for younger women; they are the ones who develop midlife crises and seek the glory days. We have all seen this many times…

NP. I think the bigger reason things do not tend to work out for these women is most of them struggle with mental illness, as studies have shown.

What are you saying? Please post links to these "studies."
I work with medical residents and many of the women resident physicians are single, attractive, brilliant, close to 30 and have a terrifically hard time meeting men and none of them are mentally ill. It's the same every year so isn't unique to one class of residents. If you gave me a piece of paper right now I could write down 30 names that fit this description.

It's very, very, very hard to meet men in 2025 if you are a highly educated woman in your later 20s or early 30s.

If there's one piece of advice I can give to college young women who are interested in marriage it's to not postpone dating until post college.
Sure, it works for some but it works for far fewer women in 2025 than it did when we (moms in our late 40s, early 50s) were in our youth.

A fair number of women doctors I know are married to doctors. You can name 30 single, attractive brilliant women resident physicians, but there are no single, attractive brilliant male residents in your program?!? Are you in obstetrics?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go through all the threads but OP's q is one of the reasons we're considering colleges in Europe.

Because you want your kid to marry someone who is in Europe and move out of the country?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go through all the threads but OP's q is one of the reasons we're considering colleges in Europe.

Because you want your kid to marry someone who is in Europe and move out of the country?

My thought exactly. Adds a whole bunch of other issues down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go through all the threads but OP's q is one of the reasons we're considering colleges in Europe.

The Pew Charitable Trust’s research wing did research on the prevalence of mental illness among young women in the US. Pew’s study concluded that among the young women who identified as liberal democrats, greater than 50% struggled with mental illness in the U.S. undergraduate women in the U.S. skew heavily liberal.

For that reason, we are also encouraging our child to study outside the U.S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t go through all the threads but OP's q is one of the reasons we're considering colleges in Europe.

The Pew Charitable Trust’s research wing did research on the prevalence of mental illness among young women in the US. Pew’s study concluded that among the young women who identified as liberal democrats, greater than 50% struggled with mental illness in the U.S. undergraduate women in the U.S. skew heavily liberal.

For that reason, we are also encouraging our child to study outside the U.S.

Neocons don't even like vaccines

Do you think they are going to seek out mental health care?

I think your data can't be extrapolate to say what you are assuming

Good luck to your kid.

[Anonymous]

There still is a surplus of healthy straight single male US-born (and often a bit shy) engineers in Silicon Valley - and likely also in some other tech cluster areas. These are well educated, well paid, and have stable employment.

Single straight women in their 20s-30s that get any sort of job with a tech company there ought to be able to find a stable educated well-paid husband.

(Sorry, but I have no visibility into the LGBTQ scene, so I can't comment about that piece.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There still is a surplus of healthy straight single male US-born (and often a bit shy) engineers in Silicon Valley - and likely also in some other tech cluster areas. These are well educated, well paid, and have stable employment.

Single straight women in their 20s-30s that get any sort of job with a tech company there ought to be able to find a stable educated well-paid husband.

(Sorry, but I have no visibility into the LGBTQ scene, so I can't comment about that piece.)

You think engineers in tech have stable employment?!

/laughs in Amazonian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There still is a surplus of healthy straight single male US-born (and often a bit shy) engineers in Silicon Valley - and likely also in some other tech cluster areas. These are well educated, well paid, and have stable employment.

Single straight women in their 20s-30s that get any sort of job with a tech company there ought to be able to find a stable educated well-paid husband.

(Sorry, but I have no visibility into the LGBTQ scene, so I can't comment about that piece.)

You think engineers in tech have stable employment?!

/laughs in Amazonian

Then get a clue and don't work for AMZN, who do not have a large SV presence anyway.

Lots of people in silicon valley have stable employment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outdated in elite schools. Every one, male or female, is so career oriented. No one is investing in "finding spouse" seriously. Most break up at graduation due to jobs in different locations anyway.

BS. Two ivy kids. Both married their significant other from college. This is the highest probability of finding a match that is similar to your kid’s IQ , earning potential and socio-economic environment. They will never again be around that many eligible singles in their lives…..

This. One caveat, though: girls will have to initiate with many of the clueless boys. Those that refuse because they want more confident men are the ones who end up single in their mid-30s, watching their now-confident male former peers date whoever they want. Then they will have to “settle” or not have kids, or both, given their age.

Antiquated

Accurate. Geeky boy Ivy types do just fine in their 30s. But they also tend to be nicer guys. Get them in college and they will be great husbands. These guys will ultimately do well either way. But for women, things often do not work out.

The popular Ivy type guys with early confidence are the ones who leave their wives in their 30s and 40s for younger women; they are the ones who develop midlife crises and seek the glory days. We have all seen this many times…

NP. I think the bigger reason things do not tend to work out for these women is most of them struggle with mental illness, as studies have shown.

What are you saying? Please post links to these "studies."
I work with medical residents and many of the women resident physicians are single, attractive, brilliant, close to 30 and have a terrifically hard time meeting men and none of them are mentally ill. It's the same every year so isn't unique to one class of residents. If you gave me a piece of paper right now I could write down 30 names that fit this description.

It's very, very, very hard to meet men in 2025 if you are a highly educated woman in your later 20s or early 30s.

If there's one piece of advice I can give to college young women who are interested in marriage it's to not postpone dating until post college.
Sure, it works for some but it works for far fewer women in 2025 than it did when we (moms in our late 40s, early 50s) were in our youth.

A fair number of women doctors I know are married to doctors. You can name 30 single, attractive brilliant women resident physicians, but there are no single, attractive brilliant male residents in your program?!? Are you in obstetrics?

It might be generational. Almost every couple I know met in grad school, law school, or med school. But grad and professional degrees were a lot cheaper back then. If the marriageable population in college today is small, it's going to be really tiny in grad schools today. It's not the 90s anymore. Things have changed for all sorts of reasons. Meeting a potential partner is not as natural as it used to be. I think it's definitely something to be mindful of when choosing colleges today.

[Anonymous]

Left wing idiots die of mental health diseases.

Right wing MAGA idiots die from not taking vaccines.

Good riddance to both!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Outdated in elite schools. Every one, male or female, is so career oriented. No one is investing in "finding spouse" seriously. Most break up at graduation due to jobs in different locations anyway.

BS. Two ivy kids. Both married their significant other from college. This is the highest probability of finding a match that is similar to your kid’s IQ , earning potential and socio-economic environment. They will never again be around that many eligible singles in their lives…..

This. One caveat, though: girls will have to initiate with many of the clueless boys. Those that refuse because they want more confident men are the ones who end up single in their mid-30s, watching their now-confident male former peers date whoever they want. Then they will have to “settle” or not have kids, or both, given their age.

Antiquated

Accurate. Geeky boy Ivy types do just fine in their 30s. But they also tend to be nicer guys. Get them in college and they will be great husbands. These guys will ultimately do well either way. But for women, things often do not work out.

The popular Ivy type guys with early confidence are the ones who leave their wives in their 30s and 40s for younger women; they are the ones who develop midlife crises and seek the glory days. We have all seen this many times…

NP. I think the bigger reason things do not tend to work out for these women is most of them struggle with mental illness, as studies have shown.

What are you saying? Please post links to these "studies."
I work with medical residents and many of the women resident physicians are single, attractive, brilliant, close to 30 and have a terrifically hard time meeting men and none of them are mentally ill. It's the same every year so isn't unique to one class of residents. If you gave me a piece of paper right now I could write down 30 names that fit this description.

It's very, very, very hard to meet men in 2025 if you are a highly educated woman in your later 20s or early 30s.

If there's one piece of advice I can give to college young women who are interested in marriage it's to not postpone dating until post college.
Sure, it works for some but it works for far fewer women in 2025 than it did when we (moms in our late 40s, early 50s) were in our youth.

A fair number of women doctors I know are married to doctors. You can name 30 single, attractive brilliant women resident physicians, but there are no single, attractive brilliant male residents in your program?!? Are you in obstetrics?

It might be generational. Almost every couple I know met in grad school, law school, or med school. But grad and professional degrees were a lot cheaper back then. If the marriageable population in college today is small, it's going to be really tiny in grad schools today. It's not the 90s anymore. Things have changed for all sorts of reasons. Meeting a potential partner is not as natural as it used to be. I think it's definitely something to be mindful of when choosing colleges today.

Yup. Medical schools and law schools are now generally 60/40 female. Many residency programs are too. I trained at Hopkins and what was once a white man's program in my department, last year had 2 white men out of 32 residents. I'm not here to debate why that is or to say it's a bad thing. Simply bringing it up to illustrate the potential dating scene.

Gone are the days when you could go to medical school as a female doctor and reliably meet your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Left wing idiots die of mental health diseases.

Right wing MAGA idiots die from not taking vaccines.

Good riddance to both!

"Independents" die by waffling in the middle of the road and getting run over

Their final cry is, "But I'm special."