is anyone worried about their kid finding their spouse in college?

[Anonymous]

No.

That is not the point of being in college.

It is 2026.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college freshman daughter has asked a few guys for coffee/breakfast this year and they have said no.
The latest was this week and they guy basically said he was busy and would be busy 'all month."

She's lovely, thin, smart, well dressed, etc.
I have no idea what's wrong. She has no trouble making female friends, has a great group who are also lovely.
She's about to give up entirely. I joke to myself that maybe she should date women.

You are omitting something.

I'm really not. She is pretty, thin, smart and the boys just turn her down. These are kids she's been in class with. One was a lunch invite. 'hey, do you want to meet for lunch?"
I have no idea what is going on.

Is it clear to the guy that this is a date or that your DD is romantically interested? I just don't get the "let's meet for lunch" or meeting for coffee/breakfast.

This is college...so most students aren't getting up to meet for breakfast, and most lunches are quick bites between classes.

I would think the invite would be to have dinner or hang out in the dorm room / do something in the evening.

Neither of my sons have any issues asking out girls in college, but if they were approached with offers for breakfast or lunch, I am not sure how they would react, even if they were interested. It gives off strange "friend zone" vibes...and nobody with romantic interest wants to go into the "friend zone" category.

[Anonymous]

I am worried. You make the most friendships and connections between ages 15-32,
With college being a prime time to find potential future spouse candidates. So yes.

[Anonymous]

Worry about STDs in college vs spouses.

[Anonymous]

The sad reality is most students (male and female) are first and foremost focused on getting a job and anything that will enhance post graduation prospects. Marriage isn’t a priority at all. Difficult environment for getting a job vs. even a few years ago. Hard time to be a college student these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sad reality is most students (male and female) are first and foremost focused on getting a job and anything that will enhance post graduation prospects. Marriage isn’t a priority at all. Difficult environment for getting a job vs. even a few years ago. Hard time to be a college student these days.

it sucks for these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No.

That is not the point of being in college.

It is 2026.

No its not the point of being in college, its the point of being at peak of your youth.

It is 2026. That's precisely why Gen Z youth doesn't want to follow mistakes made by their millennial predecessors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college freshman daughter has asked a few guys for coffee/breakfast this year and they have said no.
The latest was this week and they guy basically said he was busy and would be busy 'all month."

She's lovely, thin, smart, well dressed, etc.
I have no idea what's wrong. She has no trouble making female friends, has a great group who are also lovely.
She's about to give up entirely. I joke to myself that maybe she should date women.

You are omitting something.

I'm really not. She is pretty, thin, smart and the boys just turn her down. These are kids she's been in class with. One was a lunch invite. 'hey, do you want to meet for lunch?"
I have no idea what is going on.

Is it clear to the guy that this is a date or that your DD is romantically interested? I just don't get the "let's meet for lunch" or meeting for coffee/breakfast.

This is college...so most students aren't getting up to meet for breakfast, and most lunches are quick bites between classes.

I would think the invite would be to have dinner or hang out in the dorm room / do something in the evening.

Neither of my sons have any issues asking out girls in college, but if they were approached with offers for breakfast or lunch, I am not sure how they would react, even if they were interested. It gives off strange "friend zone" vibes...and nobody with romantic interest wants to go into the "friend zone" category.

My daughter was asked to lunch by a guy who she’s in a club with… she said he’d been flirty and was delighted that he asked for a no pressure get together. Middle of the day, no stressing over “getting ready”.

Now they are a couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My college freshman daughter has asked a few guys for coffee/breakfast this year and they have said no.
The latest was this week and they guy basically said he was busy and would be busy 'all month."

She's lovely, thin, smart, well dressed, etc.
I have no idea what's wrong. She has no trouble making female friends, has a great group who are also lovely.
She's about to give up entirely. I joke to myself that maybe she should date women.

You are omitting something.

I'm really not. She is pretty, thin, smart and the boys just turn her down. These are kids she's been in class with. One was a lunch invite. 'hey, do you want to meet for lunch?"
I have no idea what is going on.

Maybe he's gay or has a girlfriend back home. I found out years later that a bunch of the guys I knew in college were gay but they didn't say anything. I would think they are more open about it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am worried. You make the most friendships and connections between ages 15-32,
With college being a prime time to find potential future spouse candidates. So yes.

Agree. Send them somewhere they willbe around a large % of similar-intellect students, for undergrad as well as law/phD/MBa

[Anonymous]

Very

[Anonymous]

Marriage is way overrated. Stay single and sane.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather they meet in grad school or in mid 20s. Seems they would know what they like/want in a partner better at that age then college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Worry about STDs in college vs spouses.

This!! And date rape!! DD is just on birth control pills due to irregular periods. I think she is going to go even more daring in terms of hookups and drunk scenes. And there is nothing I can do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am worried. You make the most friendships and connections between ages 15-32,
With college being a prime time to find potential future spouse candidates. So yes.

I do wish for my kids to marry one day.

I am always saying - be sure not to look at your phone - you are missing your surroundings - you are in the best place to meet people your age.

Post-college life is far more isolating than it was 20 years ago. All the remote work, throngs of young people don’t meet up after work anymore.