The amount of people living subsidized by their parents is astounding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

I’ve met about a dozen people in the past year or two who fit this profile, mostly in the Bethesda/Arlington area. Last guy lived in a $1.7M house on a single government income and had a country club membership. Mid 30’s with SAHM wife and kids who attended private.

Haha yep, about half of Washington Golf lives off their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For most of the young adults today, living at parents' homes, it is not failure to launch. It is the inability to save for the down payment, parents not being able to help financially by giving you a ton of money, and rent being extremely expensive.
That is the reality. You know all those laughing at Europeans who live with mom and dad? That is the new reality in the U.S. Not failure to launch, inability to compete with the rich.
How arrogant of Dcumers to post something so stupid and entitled.

It’s the reality in Hawaii.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The thing that majorly irks me is when a daycare, or a private school, or a private college, gives financial aid because income doesn't take into account grandparent gifting.

Archived nymag article here. I am sure people will be outraged and delighted.

https://archive.is/https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/parents-money-family-wealth-stories.html

The stories are interesting because the vast majority are the cliches everyone talks about. Basically, adults that will never be able to stand on their own two feet...ever.

But, I mean, so what? Every since humanity evolved we've been working together in family groups to take care of each other. Why not continue that human trait?

Huh? Working together in family groups implies older help younger, and younger help older. It's a reciprocal relationship.

These stories, for the most part, are one-way only. What's worse, most of these stories involve children that will sap all the money from their parents, and have done nothing to leave anything to their own children.

That's the tough part. My BIL and his wife have intentionally both taken steps back in their careers - one works part-time purely for health insurance, the other is a SAHP. They got a sizable inheritance and while I don't know the full details, I've heard its enough that if they live modestly, they don't need to worry about working full time. And I believe college is already fully funded for both of their young kids. I wonder how they'll explain it to their kids - and why this is not a realistic outcome for them to expect.

What to explain? Sounds like they both are spending more time with their family and kids. Always a good thing, as long as you can pay the bills

+1. Also how long did they work before taking that step back? If I inherited enough to do that in my late 40s or early 50s, I'd do it too. I've been working hard and diligently saving for decades. We've sicked away money for retirement and kids' college. We've paid off 2/3 of our mortgage. I'm not a freeloader. But I'd happily move into semi-retirement a decade or so early and just focus on spending time with kids, taking care of my health, and doing bucket list travel and hobbies while time still relatively young.

I'd have zero guilt about that. It's not like being a trust funder who never does anything of value.

Why do you assume trust funders do nothing of value? Do You think you’re more noble because you have worked into your 40s and 50s and if you get inheritance now you can retire? Why does that make you feel better about yourself? You’ve lost so much time working when that time could have been spent enjoying life.

Time is the currency here and the inheritance allows people not to have to exchange their time for money.

I pray I'm in a position to give my children and grandchildren money. I even pray I’m able to give strangers scholarships for college.

Some of you are so miserable, judgmental and jealous it’s ridiculous.

PP here and wow you're defensive. I didn't say that all trust funders do nothing of value. I said that someone who inherits enough money to stop working or reduce their workload at midlife is very different than a specific kind of trust funder who never does anything of value. Someone who has built a career and a family has already accomplished something very meaningful and worthwhile, so if they want to retire early who cares. They have already fulfilled their imperative to do something with their life.

Some trust funders do very meaningful work, or dedicate themselves to their families or to charity work or making art. Some trust funders find a purpose and fulfill it. Others don't. I have no problem pointing to the ones that never do anything at all of value as an example of someone who is a net negative for society. There's nothing wrong with being born into money, but if you don't do anything useful with that opportunity, of course I'm going to judge you! The world is your oyster, and if you spend it doing drugs, playing video games, and partying in Ibiza, I have no trouble labeling you as a waste of space. Try harder.

Newsflash: 95% of jobs are bullshit and nobody is doing anything worthwhile.

I find this attitude very odd. Do you not participate in life and the economy? I get value out of every service I buy and enjoy products that someone made.

Do you think one needs to work 40 hours per week for someone else in order to “participate in life and the economy”?

Umm, somebody needs to work. Otherwise who is going to make my latte, give me my massage, clean my house, do my taxes and straighten my kids teeth? If 95% of all jobs are bullshit, are you not spending any money on services?

[Anonymous]

My point is that even if you aren't a working stiff (and good for you, no shade) it's silly to say 95% of jobs don't have value if you are purchasing their products and using their services

[Anonymous]

I’m in a big extended family with generational wealth. I benefit from it, and I will pass it on.

I gotta say, this idea of subsidizing doesn’t bother me. If my kids are happy and healthy and fulfilled, I don’t really care if they use trust money or a salary or some combo to pay their bills. There’s no prize when you die for a pile of W2s. The very few people in my extended family who really made piles of money were all entrepreneurs anyway. Boom and bust types.

It would be kind of crazy to me to have a bunch of assets and not change your life at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just in the last 2 years we made 1m/year and my parents who make 80k/year on retirement have full medical benefits but have everything fully paid off want to pay for private school and I am ok with it because they don't have any other use for their money. If they end of running out of money i would help them. However their generation is very different than our's where they don't have any debts.

If you're making $2m per year and your letting your retired parents clocking $80k a year in retirement pay for your kids' private school education, you are a f4cking loser. Hope I'm crystal clear.

This is so gross. How do you sell at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just in the last 2 years we made 1m/year and my parents who make 80k/year on retirement have full medical benefits but have everything fully paid off want to pay for private school and I am ok with it because they don't have any other use for their money. If they end of running out of money i would help them. However their generation is very different than our's where they don't have any debts.

If you're making $2m per year and your letting your retired parents clocking $80k a year in retirement pay for your kids' private school education, you are a f4cking loser. Hope I'm crystal clear.

This is so gross. How do you sleep at night?

Sleep!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.

And how old are you? Are you honestly telling us that your children will get no help from you buying a house? What did you do at 18 that you were on your own? When was this? Do you think your kids can afford the house with regular jobs like you did?

Many young adults have jobs that will afford them a house on their own. My kid’s starting job at 21 pays over $250k and my kid already has over $150k saved of their own money from internships and investments (maybe $5k of that total came from family gifts). Heck, he has a classmate that will earn $450k out of college.

Honestly, this has hasn’t changed much in the past 30 years in terms of some kids picking lucrative professions and others not.

I am in the camp of making wealth transfers for estate planning…but it’s debatable if my kid “needs it”.

What jobs pay 250 and 450 straight out of undergraduate? I have never heard of this. Also have never heard of anyone saving 150k from internships. Maybe a law student saves something for a swanky summer internship but not money like that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.

And how old are you? Are you honestly telling us that your children will get no help from you buying a house? What did you do at 18 that you were on your own? When was this? Do you think your kids can afford the house with regular jobs like you did?

Many young adults have jobs that will afford them a house on their own. My kid’s starting job at 21 pays over $250k and my kid already has over $150k saved of their own money from internships and investments (maybe $5k of that total came from family gifts). Heck, he has a classmate that will earn $450k out of college.

Honestly, this has hasn’t changed much in the past 30 years in terms of some kids picking lucrative professions and others not.

I am in the camp of making wealth transfers for estate planning…but it’s debatable if my kid “needs it”.

What jobs pay 250 and 450 straight out of undergraduate? I have never heard of this. Also have never heard of anyone saving 150k from internships. Maybe a law student saves something for a swanky summer internship but not money like that!

Like 0.2% of new college graduates will make this by working in the upper echelons of finance for companies like Citadel and Jane Street.

The parents of these kids just like to brag about this even though they know that this has no relevance for the overwhelming majority of 22-year-olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing that majorly irks me is when a daycare, or a private school, or a private college, gives financial aid because income doesn't take into account grandparent gifting.

Archived nymag article here. I am sure people will be outraged and delighted.

https://archive.is/https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/parents-money-family-wealth-stories.html

The stories are interesting because the vast majority are the cliches everyone talks about. Basically, adults that will never be able to stand on their own two feet...ever.

But, I mean, so what? Every since humanity evolved we've been working together in family groups to take care of each other. Why not continue that human trait?

Huh? Working together in family groups implies older help younger, and younger help older. It's a reciprocal relationship.

These stories, for the most part, are one-way only. What's worse, most of these stories involve children that will sap all the money from their parents, and have done nothing to leave anything to their own children.

That's the tough part. My BIL and his wife have intentionally both taken steps back in their careers - one works part-time purely for health insurance, the other is a SAHP. They got a sizable inheritance and while I don't know the full details, I've heard its enough that if they live modestly, they don't need to worry about working full time. And I believe college is already fully funded for both of their young kids. I wonder how they'll explain it to their kids - and why this is not a realistic outcome for them to expect.

What to explain? Sounds like they both are spending more time with their family and kids. Always a good thing, as long as you can pay the bills

+1. Also how long did they work before taking that step back? If I inherited enough to do that in my late 40s or early 50s, I'd do it too. I've been working hard and diligently saving for decades. We've sicked away money for retirement and kids' college. We've paid off 2/3 of our mortgage. I'm not a freeloader. But I'd happily move into semi-retirement a decade or so early and just focus on spending time with kids, taking care of my health, and doing bucket list travel and hobbies while time still relatively young.

I'd have zero guilt about that. It's not like being a trust funder who never does anything of value.

Why do you assume trust funders do nothing of value? Do You think you’re more noble because you have worked into your 40s and 50s and if you get inheritance now you can retire? Why does that make you feel better about yourself? You’ve lost so much time working when that time could have been spent enjoying life.

Time is the currency here and the inheritance allows people not to have to exchange their time for money.

I pray I'm in a position to give my children and grandchildren money. I even pray I’m able to give strangers scholarships for college.

Some of you are so miserable, judgmental and jealous it’s ridiculous.

PP here and wow you're defensive. I didn't say that all trust funders do nothing of value. I said that someone who inherits enough money to stop working or reduce their workload at midlife is very different than a specific kind of trust funder who never does anything of value. Someone who has built a career and a family has already accomplished something very meaningful and worthwhile, so if they want to retire early who cares. They have already fulfilled their imperative to do something with their life.

Some trust funders do very meaningful work, or dedicate themselves to their families or to charity work or making art. Some trust funders find a purpose and fulfill it. Others don't. I have no problem pointing to the ones that never do anything at all of value as an example of someone who is a net negative for society. There's nothing wrong with being born into money, but if you don't do anything useful with that opportunity, of course I'm going to judge you! The world is your oyster, and if you spend it doing drugs, playing video games, and partying in Ibiza, I have no trouble labeling you as a waste of space. Try harder.

Newsflash: 95% of jobs are bullshit and nobody is doing anything worthwhile.

I find this attitude very odd. Do you not participate in life and the economy? I get value out of every service I buy and enjoy products that someone made.

Do you think one needs to work 40 hours per week for someone else in order to “participate in life and the economy”?

Umm, somebody needs to work. Otherwise who is going to make my latte, give me my massage, clean my house, do my taxes and straighten my kids teeth? If 95% of all jobs are bullshit, are you not spending any money on services?

LOL. Serving rich brats is almost the definition of BS jobs. I mean, sure I’ll do it if I absolutely have to in order to put food on the table, but the second I have enough money to quit you can make your own lattes and clean your own toilets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a big extended family with generational wealth. I benefit from it, and I will pass it on.

I gotta say, this idea of subsidizing doesn’t bother me. If my kids are happy and healthy and fulfilled, I don’t really care if they use trust money or a salary or some combo to pay their bills. There’s no prize when you die for a pile of W2s. The very few people in my extended family who really made piles of money were all entrepreneurs anyway. Boom and bust types.

It would be kind of crazy to me to have a bunch of assets and not change your life at all.

Agree with all of this, but as was said in a previous comment, I just want the rich kids to pay TAXES on this unearned income. That doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in a big extended family with generational wealth. I benefit from it, and I will pass it on.

I gotta say, this idea of subsidizing doesn’t bother me. If my kids are happy and healthy and fulfilled, I don’t really care if they use trust money or a salary or some combo to pay their bills. There’s no prize when you die for a pile of W2s. The very few people in my extended family who really made piles of money were all entrepreneurs anyway. Boom and bust types.

It would be kind of crazy to me to have a bunch of assets and not change your life at all.

Agree with all of this, but as was said in a previous comment, I just want the rich kids to pay TAXES on this unearned income. That doesn’t seem like too much to ask.

Well, someone pays it. You can put assets in a trust that protects them from the estate tax for generations. But the trust pays income tax and capital gains taxes, and then if you take a distribution from the trust, you pay income tax on that (depend on the details yada yada). But then if you give money from that distribution to your adult kid, yeah, you’re good to go up to the annual or lifetime exemption.

I hear what you’re saying that you feel like the gift transfer should be a taxable event, and it is! But only after the annual & lifetime exemptions.

The policy around all that is complicated because if you don’t have a big exemption, you’re going to force the sale of a lot of privately held businesses. It’s not like everyone is just sitting on piles of cash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.

And how old are you? Are you honestly telling us that your children will get no help from you buying a house? What did you do at 18 that you were on your own? When was this? Do you think your kids can afford the house with regular jobs like you did?

Many young adults have jobs that will afford them a house on their own. My kid’s starting job at 21 pays over $250k and my kid already has over $150k saved of their own money from internships and investments (maybe $5k of that total came from family gifts). Heck, he has a classmate that will earn $450k out of college.

Honestly, this has hasn’t changed much in the past 30 years in terms of some kids picking lucrative professions and others not.

I am in the camp of making wealth transfers for estate planning…but it’s debatable if my kid “needs it”.

What jobs pay 250 and 450 straight out of undergraduate? I have never heard of this. Also have never heard of anyone saving 150k from internships. Maybe a law student saves something for a swanky summer internship but not money like that!

Jobs that you rich parents get you when they ask their rich friends, and they in return will employ their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.

And how old are you? Are you honestly telling us that your children will get no help from you buying a house? What did you do at 18 that you were on your own? When was this? Do you think your kids can afford the house with regular jobs like you did?

Many young adults have jobs that will afford them a house on their own. My kid’s starting job at 21 pays over $250k and my kid already has over $150k saved of their own money from internships and investments (maybe $5k of that total came from family gifts). Heck, he has a classmate that will earn $450k out of college.

Honestly, this has hasn’t changed much in the past 30 years in terms of some kids picking lucrative professions and others not.

I am in the camp of making wealth transfers for estate planning…but it’s debatable if my kid “needs it”.

What jobs pay 250 and 450 straight out of undergraduate? I have never heard of this. Also have never heard of anyone saving 150k from internships. Maybe a law student saves something for a swanky summer internship but not money like that!

Jobs that you rich parents get you when they ask their rich friends, and they in return will employ their kid.

Not a chance, honestly. Not those salaries, for young kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

Millennials do all the time and see nothing wrong with it.

DP millennials are 35-40 years old. If they are living off the parents dole, then they are losers.

I am a millennial and made 1.1M last year. My parent's give me $36k a year because they are wealthy. $10k went to charity and the rest was saved for my daughter's college. I guess I am a loser.

Same here, I am a younger millennial (31), make decent money (nowhere near as you though, only 200k, but wife makes almost the same as well) but until very recently, my parents were still giving me between 24k and 30k a year. I am an immigrant (parents still abroad) and this was just their way of helping and making sure we are fine (and they don't take no for an answer). Wife is also an immigrant, and her parents send her money to this day still (but lower amount, like 10k a year). Lol don't think we are losers either, we worked hard to get to the incomes we currently have. Any money they gave just got moved to emergency fund/stock market.

This is just the way parents of immigrants work/think, they like to make sure that their children are fine and taken care of. And whenever I end up having children, I hope that I will be in a place (financially) to be able to do the same (when the time comes).

Wealth like that passed on to the next generation has prolonged childhood into adulthood. This is one of the reasons our country is failing. If you and your spouse (or significant other) are not paying for a roof over your head, the food on your table, your car insurance, your phone bill, for yourself and your 18 and under children (I'll even give you up through undergrad), then you are a child. Generational wealth begets generational infantilism.

PP -- if you have the money that you claim you have and accept money like that from your parents, that is pitiful. Seems everyone wants to be a hereditary oligarch these days. Do better. Tell your parents to do more for the charities they may already support or find new ones.

We have a family foundation that donates 6 figures a year on top of the gifts they give us. I truly don't understand why you care.