The amount of people living subsidized by their parents is astounding

[Anonymous]

Yet there are tons of posts here about greedy boomers. I’m a boomer and help my adult kids. My parents helped us. My grandparents paid my private school tuition. We are/were all hard working people who earn a good living but not finance bro wealthy.

There is also a time for everything. I have money now, I didn’t in my 20s and 30s. Just like my kids are stretched now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

I’ve met about a dozen people in the past year or two who fit this profile, mostly in the Bethesda/Arlington area. Last guy lived in a $1.7M house on a single government income and had a country club membership. Mid 30’s with SAHM wife and kids who attended private.

When I see that profile, I assume it’s the wife’s money. I think it’s more common honestly for SAHMs in Bethesda to fund themselves with their own family money. It’s way less fraught that way. And if you’re a mom staring down the little kid years, and you have the means to work as much or as little as you like during that time, you might decide to do a serious mommy track or just full SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

Me!

It definitely didn’t come from one generation who worked very hard, it came from people a handful of people across a few generations who worked hard. Two were exceptionally smart and one of those was exceptionally lucky. None of them were my parents. I get money from my parents, but I also get it from trusts and inheritance from my grandparents.

Sure, I could live on my own earnings but I feel no moral imperative to do so. I am of course fine with anyone who does doing that!

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's very common in DC. We have a lot of friends who have similar incomes to us (we went to grad school together, work at the same or similar places, similar career trajectories) but they live in much bigger or nicer homes, send their kids to private, and vacation in much nicer, more exotic locations. It's all family money -- parents gifting hundreds of thousands for down payments, paying directly for school tuition, and "hosting" family vacations to the South Pacific, Europe, etc. Because their parents aren't literally paying their bills or mortgage or just giving them money for travel, they don't really think if it as being "supported" by parents. They don't realize how much more they'd need to budget if their parents weren't paying for all this. It's invisible to them.

Why on earth do you think this? You think your grad school friends are idiots? Of course they realize what they’re getting. Why wouldn’t they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

Me!

It definitely didn’t come from one generation who worked very hard, it came from people a handful of people across a few generations who worked hard. Two were exceptionally smart and one of those was exceptionally lucky. None of them were my parents. I get money from my parents, but I also get it from trusts and inheritance from my grandparents.

Sure, I could live on my own earnings but I feel no moral imperative to do so. I am of course fine with anyone who does doing that!

How old are you?

40’s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yet there are tons of posts here about greedy boomers. I’m a boomer and help my adult kids. My parents helped us. My grandparents paid my private school tuition. We are/were all hard working people who earn a good living but not finance bro wealthy.

There is also a time for everything. I have money now, I didn’t in my 20s and 30s. Just like my kids are stretched now.

There are posts about "greedy boomers" because different families handle this differently. Some people get huge cash infusions from boomer parents that enable them to buy homes, send kids to better schools, take nicer vacations, pay off grad school loans, start businesses, retire earlier. Others get nothing. These people often know each other. The people who get nothing might think their parents are greedy because they are peers' parents being very generous.

[Anonymous]

One of our attorneys wanted us to set up our trust so that our daughters would get an annual “wage” to be SAHMs. Maybe that fits this profile?

[Anonymous]

I guess you could say I am "subsidized" by my parents. They transfer the annual minimum to all kids and grandkids. But I make almost six figures myself each year. What people do not understand is that transferring wealth is the way to protect assets and generational wealth. It is naive to think parents are "subsidizing" the lifestyle of their kids and grandkids. As someone upthread said, for UHNW individuals, they cannot spend the $$ and after they give to charity, the goal is tax minimization. So you lawfully transfer the wealth. IYKYK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

My question would be what kind of loser brags about taking money from his family?

I think it’s OK if your family helps, if they can afford it, if they want to…Gosh, I come from a place where family helps and they don’t want to, and they do without to afford it But they do it because it’s”family”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m one of those people – my parents gift me the $36,000 max every year. Why do you care?

Everyone’s dealt a different hand in life. I have that annual gift but had issues with mental health in the past which mean that I’ll never work the type of jobs that pay more than $100-$150K per year.

You make it sound like that’s a bad salary. I have no mental issues, two degrees from elite colleges, and 20 years experience, and I’m at $143k. Some of us just pick do gooder jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's very common in DC. We have a lot of friends who have similar incomes to us (we went to grad school together, work at the same or similar places, similar career trajectories) but they live in much bigger or nicer homes, send their kids to private, and vacation in much nicer, more exotic locations. It's all family money -- parents gifting hundreds of thousands for down payments, paying directly for school tuition, and "hosting" family vacations to the South Pacific, Europe, etc. Because their parents aren't literally paying their bills or mortgage or just giving them money for travel, they don't really think if it as being "supported" by parents. They don't realize how much more they'd need to budget if their parents weren't paying for all this. It's invisible to them.

Why on earth do you think this? You think your grad school friends are idiots? Of course they realize what they’re getting. Why wouldn’t they?

A lot of people will tout how they do things on their own and don't rely on their parents, because they don't literally have a trust or their parents aren't actually paying their mortgage. People will discount getting like 100k for a down payment because it's a one time gift and the money went straight from their parents to the bank, and they will discount in their minds how much that changes their finances compared to someone getting nothing. Same with private school tuition paid for by grandparents. They realize they are getting a benefit, but do not really conceptualize how big it is or the degree to which it moves them into another socioeconomic class. They'll still refer to themselves as "middle class" or UMC because their income is technically in that range, but they'll enjoy a much wealthier lifestyle.

And then they'll say things like "oh well we chose private because we just really value a certain educational environment" as though everyone has the option of "choosing private" and is all about values, not resources. Or they'll poo-poo a vacation to Florida or the Outer Banks as boring and unimaginative, conveniently forgetting that they haven't had to foot the full cost of a vacation in their adult lives.

So yeah, I think people in this situation often conveniently forget how fortunate they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

Who the hell would turn down money from a trust?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm over 50 and have never met anyone like this. What kind of loser would accept money from parents/family? It's not that hard to just get a job and pay your bills in the US, assuming you didn't have kids before finishing college.

I’ve met about a dozen people in the past year or two who fit this profile, mostly in the Bethesda/Arlington area. Last guy lived in a $1.7M house on a single government income and had a country club membership. Mid 30’s with SAHM wife and kids who attended private.

It depends where you live. My mom is retired and lives off of SS and a tiny pension (maybe $200/month). Most of my friends parents fit a similar profile. We certainly aren’t getting any money from our parents at age 50. They don’t have it to give us. It’s the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Why does it matter? What is this obsession with how other people get their money?

Stop with the fake superiority that you are somehow better than them. If anything, you are jealous otherwise why would you care?

And I’m fully self-supporting but I sure wouldn’t turn down money if my parents gave it to me. So rock on those of you getting money! Make it work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just in the last 2 years we made 1m/year and my parents who make 80k/year on retirement have full medical benefits but have everything fully paid off want to pay for private school and I am ok with it because they don't have any other use for their money. If they end of running out of money i would help them. However their generation is very different than our's where they don't have any debts.

If you're making $2m per year and your letting your retired parents clocking $80k a year in retirement pay for your kids' private school education, you are a f4cking loser. Hope I'm crystal clear.

thanks, my parents have 10m in assets and i have loans and a house that has a mortgage balance of 50%. We are henry millennials that recently started getting this high income. either way sorry we are not all old genx/boomers like yourself. At least my boomer parents want to help.

Time to grow up. At that income you should have no debt and paying for your kids schools. You are selfish.