The amount of people living subsidized by their parents is astounding

Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who has three daughters aged 24 through 29 all living at home. They all have jobs so I don’t know why they are there. There seems to be a lot of failure to launch syndrome with that generation.


Nothing wrong with this. In most cultures, women remain home until they are married. It’s the Americans who send their children out to the wolves when they are not ready.


A 29YO "isn't ready" to live alone?


Maybe she's ready but she doesn't want to. Why do you care?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:The amount of people being subsidised by the government is also astounding.


The overlap between people being subsidized by wealthy parents or grandparents while also being subsidized by the government is significantly larger than I’m guessing you think it is.

“It’s not a handout when it’s for ME” amirite?
Anonymous
This is not surprising at all. Most younger people that have houses, etc, are propped by their parents. How else can you afford a house today? That is the wealth divide, and it is getting worse and worse.
Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:The thing that majorly irks me is when a daycare, or a private school, or a private college, gives financial aid because income doesn't take into account grandparent gifting.

Archived nymag article here. I am sure people will be outraged and delighted.

https://archive.is/https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/parents-money-family-wealth-stories.html



The stories are interesting because the vast majority are the cliches everyone talks about. Basically, adults that will never be able to stand on their own two feet...ever.



But, I mean, so what? Every since humanity evolved we've been working together in family groups to take care of each other. Why not continue that human trait?


Huh? Working together in family groups implies older help younger, and younger help older. It's a reciprocal relationship.

These stories, for the most part, are one-way only. What's worse, most of these stories involve children that will sap all the money from their parents, and have done nothing to leave anything to their own children.


That's the tough part. My BIL and his wife have intentionally both taken steps back in their careers - one works part-time purely for health insurance, the other is a SAHP. They got a sizable inheritance and while I don't know the full details, I've heard its enough that if they live modestly, they don't need to worry about working full time. And I believe college is already fully funded for both of their young kids. I wonder how they'll explain it to their kids - and why this is not a realistic outcome for them to expect.


What to explain? Sounds like they both are spending more time with their family and kids. Always a good thing, as long as you can pay the bills


+1. Also how long did they work before taking that step back? If I inherited enough to do that in my late 40s or early 50s, I'd do it too. I've been working hard and diligently saving for decades. We've sicked away money for retirement and kids' college. We've paid off 2/3 of our mortgage. I'm not a freeloader. But I'd happily move into semi-retirement a decade or so early and just focus on spending time with kids, taking care of my health, and doing bucket list travel and hobbies while time still relatively young.

I'd have zero guilt about that. It's not like being a trust funder who never does anything of value.


Why do you assume trust funders do nothing of value? Do You think you’re more noble because you have worked into your 40s and 50s and if you get inheritance now you can retire? Why does that make you feel better about yourself? You’ve lost so much time working when that time could have been spent enjoying life.

Time is the currency here and the inheritance allows people not to have to exchange their time for money.

I pray I'm in a position to give my children and grandchildren money. I even pray I’m able to give strangers scholarships for college.

Some of you are so miserable, judgmental and jealous it’s ridiculous.


PP here and wow you're defensive. I didn't say that all trust funders do nothing of value. I said that someone who inherits enough money to stop working or reduce their workload at midlife is very different than a specific kind of trust funder who never does anything of value. Someone who has built a career and a family has already accomplished something very meaningful and worthwhile, so if they want to retire early who cares. They have already fulfilled their imperative to do something with their life.

Some trust funders do very meaningful work, or dedicate themselves to their families or to charity work or making art. Some trust funders find a purpose and fulfill it. Others don't. I have no problem pointing to the ones that never do anything at all of value as an example of someone who is a net negative for society. There's nothing wrong with being born into money, but if you don't do anything useful with that opportunity, of course I'm going to judge you! The world is your oyster, and if you spend it doing drugs, playing video games, and partying in Ibiza, I have no trouble labeling you as a waste of space. Try harder.


Newsflash: 95% of jobs are bullshit and nobody is doing anything worthwhile.


LOL. Truer words never spoken.
Anonymous
For most of the young adults today, living at parents' homes, it is not failure to launch. It is the inability to save for the down payment, parents not being able to help financially by giving you a ton of money, and rent being extremely expensive.
That is the reality. You know all those laughing at Europeans who live with mom and dad? That is the new reality in the U.S. Not failure to launch, inability to compete with the rich.
How arrogant of Dcumers to post something so stupid and entitled.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The thing that majorly irks me is when a daycare, or a private school, or a private college, gives financial aid because income doesn't take into account grandparent gifting.

Archived nymag article here. I am sure people will be outraged and delighted.

https://archive.is/https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/parents-money-family-wealth-stories.html



The stories are interesting because the vast majority are the cliches everyone talks about. Basically, adults that will never be able to stand on their own two feet...ever.



But, I mean, so what? Every since humanity evolved we've been working together in family groups to take care of each other. Why not continue that human trait?


Huh? Working together in family groups implies older help younger, and younger help older. It's a reciprocal relationship.

These stories, for the most part, are one-way only. What's worse, most of these stories involve children that will sap all the money from their parents, and have done nothing to leave anything to their own children.


That's the tough part. My BIL and his wife have intentionally both taken steps back in their careers - one works part-time purely for health insurance, the other is a SAHP. They got a sizable inheritance and while I don't know the full details, I've heard its enough that if they live modestly, they don't need to worry about working full time. And I believe college is already fully funded for both of their young kids. I wonder how they'll explain it to their kids - and why this is not a realistic outcome for them to expect.


What to explain? Sounds like they both are spending more time with their family and kids. Always a good thing, as long as you can pay the bills


+1. Also how long did they work before taking that step back? If I inherited enough to do that in my late 40s or early 50s, I'd do it too. I've been working hard and diligently saving for decades. We've sicked away money for retirement and kids' college. We've paid off 2/3 of our mortgage. I'm not a freeloader. But I'd happily move into semi-retirement a decade or so early and just focus on spending time with kids, taking care of my health, and doing bucket list travel and hobbies while time still relatively young.

I'd have zero guilt about that. It's not like being a trust funder who never does anything of value.


Why do you assume trust funders do nothing of value? Do You think you’re more noble because you have worked into your 40s and 50s and if you get inheritance now you can retire? Why does that make you feel better about yourself? You’ve lost so much time working when that time could have been spent enjoying life.

Time is the currency here and the inheritance allows people not to have to exchange their time for money.

I pray I'm in a position to give my children and grandchildren money. I even pray I’m able to give strangers scholarships for college.

Some of you are so miserable, judgmental and jealous it’s ridiculous.


PP here and wow you're defensive. I didn't say that all trust funders do nothing of value. I said that someone who inherits enough money to stop working or reduce their workload at midlife is very different than a specific kind of trust funder who never does anything of value. Someone who has built a career and a family has already accomplished something very meaningful and worthwhile, so if they want to retire early who cares. They have already fulfilled their imperative to do something with their life.

Some trust funders do very meaningful work, or dedicate themselves to their families or to charity work or making art. Some trust funders find a purpose and fulfill it. Others don't. I have no problem pointing to the ones that never do anything at all of value as an example of someone who is a net negative for society. There's nothing wrong with being born into money, but if you don't do anything useful with that opportunity, of course I'm going to judge you! The world is your oyster, and if you spend it doing drugs, playing video games, and partying in Ibiza, I have no trouble labeling you as a waste of space. Try harder.


Newsflash: 95% of jobs are bullshit and nobody is doing anything worthwhile.


I find this attitude very odd. Do you not participate in life and the economy? I get value out of every service I buy and enjoy products that someone made.


Do you think one needs to work 40 hours per week for someone else in order to “participate in life and the economy”?
Anonymous
We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.


And how old are you? Are you honestly telling us that your children will get no help from you buying a house? What did you do at 18 that you were on your own? When was this? Do you think your kids can afford the house with regular jobs like you did?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
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Anonymous wrote:For everyone that claims to be wealthy, why is everyone so clueless on how inheritance/gift taxes work?

You aren't limited to $18k per year...you are limited to almost $14MM (for single person, $28MM for a married couple estate) in lifetime inheritance under current federal tax rules.

Whatever you are gifted each year is counted towards that $14MM/$28MM, but the giver only pays a tax on any gifts that exceed the lifetime exclusion.

You have to report any amounts given above $18k to the IRS, but you don't pay any tax on the excess until you hit the lifetime exclusion.



Except they often pay bills directly which is not really tracked. They pay their grandkids college tuition directly to school and money is just magically gone.



anyone can pay anyone's medical or education costs for any reason and it is not an IRS event


Medical too?? What about groceries, summer camps, etc.?

So there really is no limit on the exemption? The "limit" is $19K this year, or really $38K since there are two grandparents. So they could give $38K to their kid, $38K to spouse, $38K to each grandkid, plus pay all their living expenses??? Presumably at least they can't pay mortgage or car payments since those are tangible assets, but still...


And what exactly is your issue with this, other than your personal jealously?

There are plenty of legal means with trusts to transfer wealth to avoid estate taxes. Smart people utilize that, as most of us have paid 50%+ in taxes on it already


PP you quoted. No jealousy – just don’t understand why they make a pretense of having an exemption limit if there are so many ways around it.

In the example I gave, where everyone in the family is receiving $38,000 a year plus living—and you do that for, say, three kids—the grandparents could easily be giving $500,000 a year while remaining under the exemption limit.

If they do that for 30 years, that’s $15 million. That’s not a serious limit on gifting.


The grandparents in our situation did that when he retired early 30 years ago. The yearly exemption was lower 30 years ago but still it add up. Our situation is two children with spouses and four grandchildren. They told us right away that they didn’t see a reason to wait until they died to give money. They set up trusts for the grandchildren when they were little so we were able to send invoices to the trustee and he would pay tuition, summer programs, trips, etc. They would add money to it yearly. They would give the yearly gift to the adults. They bought houses, cars, etc.

They died recently within months of each other and left a generation skipping trust. If they hadn’t given money to their families and others their assets would easily have been about $50 plus million. But what would have been the point of that?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The thing that majorly irks me is when a daycare, or a private school, or a private college, gives financial aid because income doesn't take into account grandparent gifting.

Archived nymag article here. I am sure people will be outraged and delighted.

https://archive.is/https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/parents-money-family-wealth-stories.html



The stories are interesting because the vast majority are the cliches everyone talks about. Basically, adults that will never be able to stand on their own two feet...ever.



But, I mean, so what? Every since humanity evolved we've been working together in family groups to take care of each other. Why not continue that human trait?


Huh? Working together in family groups implies older help younger, and younger help older. It's a reciprocal relationship.

These stories, for the most part, are one-way only. What's worse, most of these stories involve children that will sap all the money from their parents, and have done nothing to leave anything to their own children.


In my family, I help my mom and she helps me. I keep her company and make her dinner and she has given us a bit of a financial cushion this year with looming job loss. If it's only one way in your circles, well, that's weird. Why would parents help kids they're not in touch with? They wouldn't.


That’s perfect, the way it should be. Too many adults hold on to old wounds from childhood and become “estranged “ from their mothers.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who has three daughters aged 24 through 29 all living at home. They all have jobs so I don’t know why they are there. There seems to be a lot of failure to launch syndrome with that generation.


If it works for them why would you see it as a negative?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who has three daughters aged 24 through 29 all living at home. They all have jobs so I don’t know why they are there. There seems to be a lot of failure to launch syndrome with that generation.


If it works for them why would you see it as a negative?


+1. It's not a failure to launch if they all want to live together.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know one woman who has three daughters aged 24 through 29 all living at home. They all have jobs so I don’t know why they are there. There seems to be a lot of failure to launch syndrome with that generation.


If it works for them why would you see it as a negative?


+1. It's not a failure to launch if they all want to live together.


Exactly! It's smart financial planning for many 20 something's. Live at home in a nice 3k sq ft home, and save
Anonymous
We aren't seeing any generational wealth coming our way and that's totally fine. But, yes, a lot of the millenials that I work with have houses because their parents gave them a large down payment.

Both of our sets of grandparents died with no money left and it looks like our baby boomer parents will be the same. I'm just really glad they won't be leaving us any debt and will be comfortable til the end. That is a blessing.

Where my kids have a benefit is that they have an aunt and an uncle who are single, no kids, and looks like will be leaving their wealth to them, which could be substantial from both of them. Of course, it won't be til very late in their lives, hopefully. But I see a bit how our family does have the possibility of generational wealth beginning to accrue.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are surrounded by this in our neighborhood and private school. I don't begrudge the ones who have down payments or their kid's tuition paid by parents. If they work, they get to choose jobs based on what interests them rather than what it pays. Since I'm not looking for it, it often takes me a while to realize that this is the case but it doesn't usually change my opinion of them and I never ask about it. It's fortunate and lucky and none of my business. Obviously if someone is obnoxious or complains about it, it's hard to have respect for them but I don't see that very often.

Neither DH or I have had any support from family since we left home at 18. We're grateful for the life we've built and can afford a good house, vacations, private school. I never thought I'd have those things and I just try to enjoy it. I am teaching my kids to work hard but I'd love to make their lives a little better/easier if we have the means when we're older.


And how old are you? Are you honestly telling us that your children will get no help from you buying a house? What did you do at 18 that you were on your own? When was this? Do you think your kids can afford the house with regular jobs like you did?


Many young adults have jobs that will afford them a house on their own. My kid’s starting job at 21 pays over $250k and my kid already has over $150k saved of their own money from internships and investments (maybe $5k of that total came from family gifts). Heck, he has a classmate that will earn $450k out of college.

Honestly, this has hasn’t changed much in the past 30 years in terms of some kids picking lucrative professions and others not.

I am in the camp of making wealth transfers for estate planning…but it’s debatable if my kid “needs it”.
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