Style choices that age women in their 40s

[Anonymous]

40+ women are invisible to the general public. No need to worry about what you’re doing is “aging.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think blonde makes most people look older than they actually are!

Yeah, this starts in late 20’s. Blonde is very aging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:40+ women are invisible to the general public. No need to worry about what you’re doing is “aging.”

Invisibility is actually a prerequisite for living in the witch cottages. We have a whole initiation thing involving sitting at a bar with no one bothering you and one with stealing things from fraternity houses.

[Anonymous]

Hello ladies. I’m 38 and 3 years post hysterectomy so menopause is something I’m quite familiar with. You know what’s anti-aging? Taking tip top care of yourself in all dimensions. And self care and grooming is a key part of that. Feeling confident in your clothes is key, and fashion less so. Have fun and enjoy life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is thrilled with her breast reduction i want to note that as my surgeon had forewarned....it does make my stomach seem larger (from side view) by comparison. It's not a deal breaker, I embrace the spanx when dressing up as many if us do and I am thrilled to be rid of the huge boobs, but it's not like you come out with your 28 year old body at 54. Still...would highly recommend. Yes large breasts in midlife to me felt very matronly but some women don't feel that way.

Isn’t the recovery kind of a bear? That’s what I’m concerned about.

[Anonymous]

At least Talbots has decent tee shirts. But I remember that Talbots used to have nice clothes before they went crazy with color. And extra trim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new dress from Soft Surroundings came and it is cute as hell, sorry haters!

I’m making my way through this thread to pass the time while I heal from emergency appendectomy and love when you pop up and give us an update. I find this thread hilarious though a bit sad. I’m 58 and am reworking my wardrobe to fit my new lifestyle of kids gone, no more climbing work ladder, being fit and fashionable.

My 18 DD approves of my last purchases. She would never wear but says they look good w/out screaming 58 mom trying to look 30’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wear capris length leggings all the time in the summer for my athleisure because I don't like shorts on me and I want to be comfortable--is that bad?

also, what jeans should we be wearing? I wear jeans so infrequently but when I do I can't seem to part with my skinny jeans. what are we supposed to wear? bootcut? flare? flare cropped? I'm confused. lol

If, instead of capri leggings, you wore leggings that hit like just above your ankle, will you really be that much warmer? You are already in leggings...does a few inches of exposed calf really keep you cool? Meanwhile, what it is doing is making you look shorter and drawing attention to the widest part of your calf....

This. This is what the capri-defenders can't explain. Who walks around thinking "gosh if only my pants were 6 inches shorter, I'd be so much more comfortable." You need to focus on the fabric, not the length. You want something lightweight and breathable.

And if it's truly too hot for pants, then as skirt of any length, or a pair of short, will offer more relief than a pair of capri pants.

Me - I walk around thinking that. I'll roll full-length pants up, especially while sitting for ex. at an outdoor restaurant; or if I'm wearing a maxi dress, I'll lift the hem several inches while I walk for more airflow. Yes, those few inches of airflow really do make a difference to me.

[Anonymous]

Bad style is bad at any age. While I think I have decent style and try to avoid looking frumpy, the fact remains that I'm 45. And I look it. To some extent, I think that any clothing choice is going to age a woman in her 40s no matter what. If you skew too trendy, it ages you. If you opt for a classic style, that also ages you (maybe to a lesser extent) because that's not what young women wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is thrilled with her breast reduction i want to note that as my surgeon had forewarned....it does make my stomach seem larger (from side view) by comparison. It's not a deal breaker, I embrace the spanx when dressing up as many if us do and I am thrilled to be rid of the huge boobs, but it's not like you come out with your 28 year old body at 54. Still...would highly recommend. Yes large breasts in midlife to me felt very matronly but some women don't feel that way.

Isn’t the recovery kind of a bear? That’s what I’m concerned about.

It was not fun but it was not bad by any means. And the results were fabulous and life changing.The hardest days were the earliest, I had tubes in (to drain) for maybe two days then went back to have them removed. Then I remember putting medicine on the incisions (my husband helped me with that.). There was mild prickly discomfort as the nerves regenerated for awhile but I remember feeling good by week two and each week got better, you follow up regularly for a couple months with your surgeon. Two years later, I am so glad I did it. I recommend getting a consult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Try being obese where stores like Talbots and Chicos are your best bet for finding clothes all the time.

Talbots is *this close* to be normal clothes, but they just have to do a few things wrong. Normal dress with Talbots’ additions: add a tiny cut down the middle of the neckline for a sort of ‘v’; okay, not my preference but that’s - add smocking around the neck; alright now we’re moving away from - add a BOW; alright gonna have to stop you there we’re well past - FISHTAIL HEM; leave. Leave now. Did I mention the nonfunctional buttons on the shoulders?!

LOL! I'm 37 and I wore a secondhand Talbots dress to work that I was super happy with yesterday. Ironically what i loved was that it was just super, super plain: Black, knee length, elbow length sleeves, petite waist hit in the right spot. Just "ignore my dress, it fits." Would have been perfect for PP's funeral I'm afraid.

I don’t understand where all the workhorse basic, classic clothes have gone. Remember when Gap went from khakis to fashion? Even Cole Haan - I want a well made comfortable traditional pump I don’t have to spend $700 on.

I just wish all the retailers would stop with their doodads, whatzits, bell sleeves, and neon pink hems and make well constructed, quality basics in durable fabrics.

I had work pants from Old Navy I bought in 2002, that did well for 15 years. I wouldn’t mock stores if we went back to quality basics that *could* be elevated.

Ignore my Dress - because it supports the event and the understated look I’m going for in this xyz situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Try being obese where stores like Talbots and Chicos are your best bet for finding clothes all the time.

Talbots is *this close* to be normal clothes, but they just have to do a few things wrong. Normal dress with Talbots’ additions: add a tiny cut down the middle of the neckline for a sort of ‘v’; okay, not my preference but that’s - add smocking around the neck; alright now we’re moving away from - add a BOW; alright gonna have to stop you there we’re well past - FISHTAIL HEM; leave. Leave now. Did I mention the nonfunctional buttons on the shoulders?!

LOL! I'm 37 and I wore a secondhand Talbots dress to work that I was super happy with yesterday. Ironically what i loved was that it was just super, super plain: Black, knee length, elbow length sleeves, petite waist hit in the right spot. Just "ignore my dress, it fits." Would have been perfect for PP's funeral I'm afraid.

I don’t understand where all the workhorse basic, classic clothes have gone. Remember when Gap went from khakis to fashion? Even Cole Haan - I want a well made comfortable traditional pump I don’t have to spend $700 on.

I just wish all the retailers would stop with their doodads, whatzits, bell sleeves, and neon pink hems and make well constructed, quality basics in durable fabrics.

I had work pants from Old Navy I bought in 2002, that did well for 15 years. I wouldn’t mock stores if we went back to quality basics that *could* be elevated.

Ignore my Dress - because it supports the event and the understated look I’m going for in this xyz situation.

Me too. Where did you go, J.Crew? Remember in like 2017 or 2020 when we started wondering if we were in a Black Mirror episode or if this was the upside down world? Maybe the disappear
of these shopping options was a harbinger, and at the time, we just didn’t know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Try being obese where stores like Talbots and Chicos are your best bet for finding clothes all the time.

Talbots is *this close* to be normal clothes, but they just have to do a few things wrong. Normal dress with Talbots’ additions: add a tiny cut down the middle of the neckline for a sort of ‘v’; okay, not my preference but that’s - add smocking around the neck; alright now we’re moving away from - add a BOW; alright gonna have to stop you there we’re well past - FISHTAIL HEM; leave. Leave now. Did I mention the nonfunctional buttons on the shoulders?!

LOL! I'm 37 and I wore a secondhand Talbots dress to work that I was super happy with yesterday. Ironically what i loved was that it was just super, super plain: Black, knee length, elbow length sleeves, petite waist hit in the right spot. Just "ignore my dress, it fits." Would have been perfect for PP's funeral I'm afraid.

I don’t understand where all the workhorse basic, classic clothes have gone. Remember when Gap went from khakis to fashion? Even Cole Haan - I want a well made comfortable traditional pump I don’t have to spend $700 on.

I just wish all the retailers would stop with their doodads, whatzits, bell sleeves, and neon pink hems and make well constructed, quality basics in durable fabrics.

I had work pants from Old Navy I bought in 2002, that did well for 15 years. I wouldn’t mock stores if we went back to quality basics that *could* be elevated.

Ignore my Dress - because it supports the event and the understated look I’m going for in this xyz situation.

Me too. Where did you go, J.Crew? Remember in like 2017 or 2020 when we started wondering if we were in a Black Mirror episode or if this was the upside down world? Maybe the disappear
of these shopping options was a harbinger, and at the time, we just didn’t know it.

Brooks Brothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is thrilled with her breast reduction i want to note that as my surgeon had forewarned....it does make my stomach seem larger (from side view) by comparison. It's not a deal breaker, I embrace the spanx when dressing up as many if us do and I am thrilled to be rid of the huge boobs, but it's not like you come out with your 28 year old body at 54. Still...would highly recommend. Yes large breasts in midlife to me felt very matronly but some women don't feel that way.

This is the main reason I never had a reduction. My chest is so huge I always look like an hourglass no matter how much weight I gain in the middle. It’s like some kind of magic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think blonde makes most people look older than they actually are!

Yeah, this starts in late 20’s. Blonde is very aging.

Not more aging than gray hair.