Style choices that age women in their 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Honestly if a 19 year old wanted to buy funeral clothes at the mall in July, she’d have to go to Talbots and Chicos too. The answer is probably just lightweight black suiting. A sheath dress or something.

+1 I would have looked at Brooks Brothers for a dress or separates in a dark color and wear a sweater with it if needed. Most mall stores are going to be way too casual at this time of year and they’ve already started clearing out the summer stuff for fall, so limited selections as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Try being obese where stores like Talbots and Chicos are your best bet for finding clothes all the time.

Talbots is *this close* to be normal clothes, but they just have to do a few things wrong. Normal dress with Talbots’ additions: add a tiny cut down the middle of the neckline for a sort of ‘v’; okay, not my preference but that’s - add smocking around the neck; alright now we’re moving away from - add a BOW; alright gonna have to stop you there we’re well past - FISHTAIL HEM; leave. Leave now. Did I mention the nonfunctional buttons on the shoulders?!

LOL! I'm 37 and I wore a secondhand Talbots dress to work that I was super happy with yesterday. Ironically what i loved was that it was just super, super plain: Black, knee length, elbow length sleeves, petite waist hit in the right spot. Just "ignore my dress, it fits." Would have been perfect for PP's funeral I'm afraid.

That’s not ironic at all! Talbots would have totally normal clothes if they weren’t so addicted to the dopamine hit of random and unnecessary adornment. But again I am obese and this is where I have to be if I want clothing available to me, so I take the least bad of the options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Try being obese where stores like Talbots and Chicos are your best bet for finding clothes all the time.

Talbots is *this close* to be normal clothes, but they just have to do a few things wrong. Normal dress with Talbots’ additions: add a tiny cut down the middle of the neckline for a sort of ‘v’; okay, not my preference but that’s - add smocking around the neck; alright now we’re moving away from - add a BOW; alright gonna have to stop you there we’re well past - FISHTAIL HEM; leave. Leave now. Did I mention the nonfunctional buttons on the shoulders?!

Don't forget little ties on the sleeves, or tabs to roll up the sleeves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 quarter length sleeve shirts, abstract patterns, any kind of bedazzling, capris, hip length tops, large statement jewelry, denim in odd washes, ill fitting bras

You just described most peoples boomer moms.

This is my boomer mom, to a t, and that's why it's aging to me. I won't do it. I don't care how comfortable it is. I don't want to be my mom in middle age -- she gave up. I am not giving up.

When I turned 40, my mother gave me a gift certificate to J. Jill. I was like "uh, wtf is this?" I thought she was trolling me. She claims she wasn't, that she just thought I'd enjoy their clothes. I still can't really tell if she was being genuine (but oblivious to my taste in clothes) or if she purposefully decided that now that I'm 40, I need to start dressing in stretchy cotton separates and scarves.

I'm currently trying to decide whether to let my hair go gray. I think it can look good and not that aging on other women. I don't mind looking my age, I just don't want to look 60. But I was looking at it today, I've got about 5 inches of un-dyed growth. My colorist did a Demi-permanent dye to help blend it but it's faded. When I go in next week, I'm getting highlights again. I can't do it.

I'm fine with being 43. But I'm not ready to be old. 43 isn't old. 43 isn't old.

- this collection of thoughts brought to you by the Fear of Death. Fear of Death, it's organic! Pick up some Fear of Death today at your local shopping mall, somewhere between the Forever 21 and the J.Jill. Right next to the Ann Taylor Loft. Fear of Death, it's coming for you!

1 month into 44.
Family member passed this week, and I don’t have anything appropriate for an actual burial in full sun outside funeral ceremony.

I went to the mall yesterday which had nothing in black cotton but tiered mini dresses so I can be in a tent but only an inch below my hooha.

Everything is full white/pale colors summer or woolsuiting. And then the salesperson said “did you try Talbots or Chicos?” And I, then, wanted to crawl into the casket too.

Try being obese where stores like Talbots and Chicos are your best bet for finding clothes all the time.

Talbots is *this close* to be normal clothes, but they just have to do a few things wrong. Normal dress with Talbots’ additions: add a tiny cut down the middle of the neckline for a sort of ‘v’; okay, not my preference but that’s - add smocking around the neck; alright now we’re moving away from - add a BOW; alright gonna have to stop you there we’re well past - FISHTAIL HEM; leave. Leave now. Did I mention the nonfunctional buttons on the shoulders?!

LOL! I'm 37 and I wore a secondhand Talbots dress to work that I was super happy with yesterday. Ironically what i loved was that it was just super, super plain: Black, knee length, elbow length sleeves, petite waist hit in the right spot. Just "ignore my dress, it fits." Would have been perfect for PP's funeral I'm afraid.

That’s not ironic at all! Talbots would have totally normal clothes if they weren’t so addicted to the dopamine hit of random and unnecessary adornment. But again I am obese and this is where I have to be if I want clothing available to me, so I take the least bad of the options.

Agree with this! If they stopped with the unneccessary adornment and prints, they would have nice normal clothing. I'm petite with small shoulders and I've found things there that would definitely be nice if not for the weird adornments and print that swallow me up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wearing blush on the apples of your cheeks is ageing, which shocked me because I had done this for years and years. I remember teen magazines in the late 90s advising how to apply blush on your apples, and had no idea there was another way.

Here is a video showing the better method: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KjOb4KsnOA&t=29s

Try it!

Whaaaaat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Soft cotton maxi dress is my fave for that setting. Most people would prob say casual shorts, but I dislike shorts entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't get real until your 50s when menopause put 10-15 pounds on you overnight, and your pants suddenly no longer fit. You're fasting, eating right, and working out. And the employees at clothing stores call you ma'am or think that you are your child's grandma.

Shit isn't real for you yet, kids. It's coming, tho. In a few, short years. Thanks for the laughs tho!

That’s when witches achieve invisibility.

I have managed to avoid the extra pounds so far, but I stopped coloring my hair, and I have definitely achieved invisibility.

Invisibility is both a super power AND a deathly hollow.

A “deathly hollow” is what happens to your cheeks when you’re safely menopausally invisible but you get Ozempic Face.

The word is “hallow.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't get real until your 50s when menopause put 10-15 pounds on you overnight, and your pants suddenly no longer fit. You're fasting, eating right, and working out. And the employees at clothing stores call you ma'am or think that you are your child's grandma.

Shit isn't real for you yet, kids. It's coming, tho. In a few, short years. Thanks for the laughs tho!

Yep. Thinking over 40 is “old” or “aging” is the hallmark of not being actually old or aged. I looked 34 from 29-49. Now I am 52 and overnight, angels with plastering tools applied 5-7lbs to my waistline & lower torso. Pants that have been friends for decades are suddenly scrap-heaped. Now I wear swingy skirts and dresses and emphasize my still-skinny parts when it used to be a total package.

[Anonymous]

Me and my daughter went to talbots last month when my mother in law died unexpectedly. (We were on vacation, that seemed the smartest place to go). She got two dresses, both looked modern and on point: A simple black sleeveless sheath and a pretty, feminine longer dress that was on trend, she received compliments on both, granted she's 18, 5'3" and 107 pounds but still. The point is, talbots leans conservative, yes but it is not necessarily frumpy. I found a black and white print dress for summer that I didn't really love but I too received compliments on it. The point is, it's not the same talbots of 1987 and there are some pretty, on trend "enough" things there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't get real until your 50s when menopause put 10-15 pounds on you overnight, and your pants suddenly no longer fit. You're fasting, eating right, and working out. And the employees at clothing stores call you ma'am or think that you are your child's grandma.

Shit isn't real for you yet, kids. It's coming, tho. In a few, short years. Thanks for the laughs tho!

That’s when witches achieve invisibility.

I have managed to avoid the extra pounds so far, but I stopped coloring my hair, and I have definitely achieved invisibility.

Invisibility is both a super power AND a deathly hollow.

A “deathly hollow” is what happens to your cheeks when you’re safely menopausally invisible but you get Ozempic Face.

The word is “hallow.”

THAT’S THE WHOLE JOKE COME ON PEOPLE KEEP UP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Soft cotton maxi dress is my fave for that setting. Most people would prob say casual shorts, but I dislike shorts entirely.

You can also wear lightweight pants, like palazzo pants, linen pants, etc.

[Anonymous]

As someone who is thrilled with her breast reduction i want to note that as my surgeon had forewarned....it does make my stomach seem larger (from side view) by comparison. It's not a deal breaker, I embrace the spanx when dressing up as many if us do and I am thrilled to be rid of the huge boobs, but it's not like you come out with your 28 year old body at 54. Still...would highly recommend. Yes large breasts in midlife to me felt very matronly but some women don't feel that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is thrilled with her breast reduction i want to note that as my surgeon had forewarned....it does make my stomach seem larger (from side view) by comparison. It's not a deal breaker, I embrace the spanx when dressing up as many if us do and I am thrilled to be rid of the huge boobs, but it's not like you come out with your 28 year old body at 54. Still...would highly recommend. Yes large breasts in midlife to me felt very matronly but some women don't feel that way.

I had always planned on a tummy tuck and lipo WITH the reduction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who is thrilled with her breast reduction i want to note that as my surgeon had forewarned....it does make my stomach seem larger (from side view) by comparison. It's not a deal breaker, I embrace the spanx when dressing up as many if us do and I am thrilled to be rid of the huge boobs, but it's not like you come out with your 28 year old body at 54. Still...would highly recommend. Yes large breasts in midlife to me felt very matronly but some women don't feel that way.

I had always planned on a tummy tuck and lipo WITH the reduction.

Makes sense. That's a very long surgery and a bit risky if done in one pop i would think no? I had moments until recently of thinking, you know what, I need a tummy tuck but after a myomectomy (fibroid surgery) and c section, the idea of risking more adhesions from more abdominal surgery, in lieu of recent lisa marie presley debacle makes me fear it. When I had an amniocentesis for my son (years after both surgeries) it hurt like hell because she said she was hitting scar tissue with that freaking needle so I know I have them like 90% of us do after surgery and frankly, adhesion risk now really scares me so I accept the belly

[Anonymous]

Pp above...I was wrong, tummy tucks stay away from the intestinal walls, it's more superficial so adhesions are not a normal outcome.