Au Pair just asked for more money

[Anonymous]

The State Department’s continued mischaracterization of the program as a cultural exchange rather than a work program enables sponsors and host families to abuse au pairs, while lack of enforcement by the State Department allows these abuses to persist.

We recommend transferring oversight
of the au pair program to the Department
of Labor to strengthen protections of au pairs’ rights. Until the transfer occurs, we recommend that the State Department bolster oversight, accountability, transparency, and enforcement. To counter the economic coercion that au pairs report, we recommend that the State Department ban sponsor agencies from charging au pairs recruitment fees and that au pairs be paid a fair hourly wage without deductions for room and board. We recommend that the State Department consult with the Departments of Labor and Homeland Security to ensure au pairs do not face barriers to justice while in the United States or after returning to their countries of origin. We recommend that the State Department facilitate au pairs’ ability to change employers. Finally, we recommend that au pairs receive a contract at the time of recruitment and know-your-rights training upon arrival in the United States.

[Anonymous]

we recommend that au pairs be paid a fair hourly wage without deductions for room and board
(Shortchanged, the report mentioned by at least 3 different PPs)

[Anonymous]

Sound familiar? Yes, like the script on p1 that the OP though was great advice. Here goes:
“I wanted [to] take my 6 credits of classes but I didn’t get the full $500 dollars for classes because my host family said that the class I wanted was too expensive. They played a psychological game with me so that I could feel guilty for asking for something expensive. They took advantage of the fact that I couldn’t communicate well”

[Anonymous]

Amongsts pages and pages of nonsense post after poorly informed nonsense post, the prior poster called host dads molesters. Stated that all host parents are terrible parents with poorly behaved kids. And compared all host parents to slave owners, accuaing them of child trafficking, exploitation and a litany of abuses. Let's keep rude in perspective.


"Pages and pages'? But how can you possibly know that only one person made all of those posts? They were all made by 'anonymous.' I think that there are a number of people on opposite 'sides' of the discussion, and a number of others who are somewhere in the middle

[Anonymous]

Wen paid $1,500 to a recruiter in Thailand to participate in the U.S. au pair program. Wen was placed with a host family who also employed another au pair. Wen worked 16 hour days, for a total of 65 to 70 hours per week. In addition to caring for the host family’s two children, Wen was responsible for cleaning the entire house, doing the entire family’s laundry, grocery shopping, and cooking meals for the entire family and their houseguests. During the family’s vacation, Wen was responsible for taking care of the children 24 hours per day. During her time off, Wen was often asked to return to the house to “help” the family clean or care for the kids. The host family prohibited Wen from eating any of the host family’s food, expecting her to use her stipend to purchase her own food. Wen was also prohibited from using the host family’s washing machine for her own clothes. The host family monitored Wen phone calls and checked her voicemails. The other au pair received the same treatment.

[Anonymous]

Maria’s local recruiter in Colombia demanded that Maria pay $1,500 in recruitment fees -- the equivalent of three months' salary in Colombia for a recent college graduate. A friend of Maria's in the United States contacted the U.S.-based au pair agency to complain about the local recruiter's fees, after which the agency convinced the local recruiter to reduce the fee to $500. Upon Maria’s arrival, her host family informed Maria that she was expected to work additional 60 hours per week, for which the host family would pay her $6 per hour for the 15 hours above the 45 hour limit. The host family also informed Maria that, in addition to providing over-full-time childcare, Maria would be responsible for cleaning the house. Maria complained that these demands violated the rules of the au pair program, and opted to leave the host family. Maria later met the host family’s replacement au pair, a young woman from China. The Chinese au pair informed Maria that she had been required to pay $5,000 by a local recruiter to participate in the program, and as a result, felt she had no choice but to stay with the host family despite the long hours, in order to recoup the fee.

[Anonymous]

Paola (pseudonym) paid $3,000 to a recruiter at her university in Colombia to participate in the U.S. au pair program. She arrived with hopes of bonding with her host family, improving her English skills towards her goal of becoming a certified English teacher back in Colombia one day, and earning money to support her family back home. Within a month of her arrival, Paola found herself working 60-75 hours per week – during the day – and, moreover, the one solely responsible for waking up 4 to 6 times a night to feed and soothe the colicky infant, six nights per week. For her labor, she was paid less than half of what she was entitled under U.S. minimum wage laws. Paola felt compelled to stay with the host family because of her need to recoup the recruitment fee and to earn some money to send home to her family. She also remained because, as the infant’s primary caregiver, she felt she could not abandon the infant. It was only after Paola was diagnosed by an emergency room doctor with extreme exhaustion while accompanying her host family on their vacation that Paola finally left the family.
Paola reported her mistreatment to the au pair agency, specifically requesting that the family be removed from the program. However, the agency informed Paola that she was as guilty as the host family for violating the au pair regulations (due to excessive work hours), and therefore removing the host family would also require removing Paola from the program. The au pair agency furthermore threatened to immediately terminate Paola’s visa if she were to file a complaint with the State Department. Concerned about possible retaliation by the recruiter in Colombia if Paola were to file a claim with the State Department – and also because the State Department explicitly disclaimed any ability to prevent the au pair agency from terminating Paola's visa in retaliation for the complaint – Paola ultimately decided to forgo filing her complaint. With the help of an anti-trafficking advocate, Paola pursued – and ultimately settled – a civil lawsuit against the host family for the approximately $12,000 the family owed her in unpaid back wages under the Fair Labor Standards Act. The au pair agency has since permitted Paola’s host family to host two more au pairs from Colombia.

[Anonymous]

The above 3 examples are actual case files of au pairs' experiences from the Shortchanged document.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Amongsts pages and pages of nonsense post after poorly informed nonsense post, the prior poster called host dads molesters. Stated that all host parents are terrible parents with poorly behaved kids. And compared all host parents to slave owners, accuaing them of child trafficking, exploitation and a litany of abuses. Let's keep rude in perspective.

"Pages and pages'? But how can you possibly know that only one person made all of those posts? They were all made by 'anonymous.' I think that there are a number of people on opposite 'sides' of the discussion, and a number of others who are somewhere in the middle

It appears the person above repeating this (objectively unfair and inaccurate statement about PPs, easily debunked by reading back) might be genuinely disturbed. They might be the same person threatening posters with calling the DC Bar (?!). These are difficult times for many people trying to cope mentally. Probably best to ignore and not to engage to avoid causing them any harm. Let’s hope people remember to ask for help (mentalhealth.gov)

[Anonymous]

Some really useful threads on the au pair board (under nanny). Having looked there, I can see why OP posted here — she’d be set straight over there in a second. Here’s an example:

She has been interviewing and many are offering a true hourly wage (10 seems standard) and a signing bonus. She definitely does not want the DC area. Competition between families is fierce. She is down to 2 families. One in Florida and one in Colorado. Both are offering dedicated car, nice living quarters and a signing bonus of $2500.

[Anonymous]

Another post from a local family to back up the thinking that page 1 folk are deluded; and to show that MA laws in DMV would not mean the end of the program in the slightest (to the contrary, it would mean better families with more commitment to what the program is meant to be):

The pool is SCARCE. We normally do not advertise this, but did this time. We offered $12/hr. We also have many nice perks- pool house as her apartment, dedicated car, in home gym, 4 weeks off per year ( 2 her choosing, 2 ours), and all federal holidays off. We had AuPairs willing to leave their current families literally immediately, but skipped then due to integrity issues. After weeding through at least 100 interested candidates we had 5 very solid candidates to interview and picked one that seemed absolutely excellent.

We normally pay minimum wage (we are in Virginia) and treat the stipend ad a minimum and never advertise that. However after trying without advertising this, we upped the amount to 12 and got a very different pool of candidates.

During this quarantine we just need a really competent AuPair. Solid English skills and someone who can help them navigate their school work in case they don't go back in the fall. We needed one who had a glowing reference from her family in that regard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s absolutely not true. Even if it were, it’s no excuse

Clearly you haven't read the whole thread.

You need professional help. I mean it in the nicest possible way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Amongsts pages and pages of nonsense post after poorly informed nonsense post, the prior poster called host dads molesters. Stated that all host parents are terrible parents with poorly behaved kids. And compared all host parents to slave owners, accuaing them of child trafficking, exploitation and a litany of abuses. Let's keep rude in perspective.

"Pages and pages'? But how can you possibly know that only one person made all of those posts? They were all made by 'anonymous.' I think that there are a number of people on opposite 'sides' of the discussion, and a number of others who are somewhere in the middle

It appears the person above repeating this (objectively unfair and inaccurate statement about PPs, easily debunked by reading back) might be genuinely disturbed. They might be the same person threatening posters with calling the DC Bar (?!). These are difficult times for many people trying to cope mentally. Probably best to ignore and not to engage to avoid causing them any harm. Let’s hope people remember to ask for help (mentalhealth.gov)

I read the board, and would unfortunately have to agree that the person misreading the board this badly (molesters etc) when there was nothing close to that really should talk to someone before something worse happens. A lot of people are under a real pressure and fraying mentally.

[Anonymous]

Tons of great compensation info on the Nanny boards. Here’s a typical example with many families paying well over a stipend or around $10/hr plus perks:
We doubled the stipend during this event, because we are both are considered “essential” & working crazy long hours in response to the outbreak. And she’s gone from working 20-25 hour weeks to 40-45. And it’s not like the kids (4 & 9) are being incredibly well behaved. They are particularly challenging as we are all so stressed out. If she decides to go home (I mean it’s not like she’s getting a fun cultural experience here in the US, at the moment either), we are so screwed. One of us would have to quit our jobs.

[Anonymous]

Or this example:
Right. Comes to about 25k/yr. I'm a host mom.

You still aren't getting FT household help for that. Anyone who has had to pay for a Nanny or even a babysitter knows that.

When my kids were little we had a nanny. This was over 5 years ago. I paid $21/hr, fed rate for mileage, and employer side of FICA, plus a payroll servihe, excluding bonuses and gifts our bare minimum nanny expenses were 49,221.52.

For most people with out an AuPair to hire In house help, assuming they skip paying taxes, skip payroll, and skip any sort of perk will be paying $800/wk. This is still almost double the all AuPair cost.

No idea why people are so sensitive to the facts. Paying $25k per year for live in in call childcare is cheap cheap cheap.