Au Pair just asked for more money

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how one can be an au pair and not interact with the children? Isn't that the job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

[Anonymous]

With no new au pairs coming into the country, they have the upper hand right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

[Anonymous]

What ages are the kids and are they in full time school? Or “virtual” school.

Does the au pair have car access and does she get out for socializing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Yes, it’s like an indentured servant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Have you had an au pair? If you are a good family these girls have it great. The work they do isn't all that hard, in many cases just dropping off and picking up kids. They spend lots of their weekends with other girls they meet from their home countries. It's a balance when done right, and $195.75 or so a week is plenty for them.

Typical attempt to justify, but it doesn’t work. You are exploiting women from other countries and paying them less than minimum wage to care for your children. It’s even worse during a pandemic. In any other context this would be illegal, if not for this weird loophole that so clearly should be closed. You are cheap, terrible people. All your friends and family think it, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a fellow host mom the dynamics have changed a lot and many au pairs - now scarce and in demand - are understandably leveraging the new dynamic.

That said, I think if you can afford to pay her more, do so, make her show you she is stepping it up. I think the PP at 5:55 is spot on, but I would phrase it more positively.

Trump froze au pair visas for the pandemic. Biden might lift that but I doubt he’ll do it in the first 90 days while we’re staying at 500,000 Americ as is dead. The au pair deserves more money especially if the kid(s) are home 24/7.

A normal nanny, even with board, would be 2x this for multiple kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

So if they had to pay the agency they're not really "saving money", they're basically recouping what they shelled out in the first place. Kind of like "modeling school".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

You’re incorrect and then rude, on top of it.

OP said the au pair rarely plays or interacts with the kids and doesn’t help around the house much.

So, no. It isn’t a case of indentured servitude, and she is not “doing more work that ever.” Maybe it’s a case of an upper middle class au pair demanding money for not doing work in return?

Next time read before commenting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

Funny, I'm actually from Berlin. (I'm the PP). Think maybe that's a selection bias. It's also a class issue. Of course perfecting your English is a valuable, but being an au pair is not. We've had them as well, always Germans to help our kids keep up their German. Every single one of them were from working class families--not that there is anything wrong with that, but who in the DMV is sending their kids to the same in other countries? Nobody. They are paying for study abroad programs to work on the language skills. German families from the equivalent class do the same, they don't send their kids to au pair either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

So if they had to pay the agency they're not really "saving money", they're basically recouping what they shelled out in the first place. Kind of like "modeling school".

There's no convincing you so there's no point in debating. My au pair loved her experience and we still stay in touch. I know that many of her friends did as well. There were some families I heard were duds or weirdos, but that's always a risk.

[Anonymous]

I would let her know her request has given you a great deal to think about and that you will get back to her about it by the end of next week.

Then explore your options.