Au Pair just asked for more money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

You’re incorrect and then rude, on top of it.

OP said the au pair rarely plays or interacts with the kids and doesn’t help around the house much.

So, no. It isn’t a case of indentured servitude, and she is not “doing more work that ever.” Maybe it’s a case of an upper middle class au pair demanding money for not doing work in return?

Next time read before commenting!

Let me guess, you also have an au pair. So we can safely disregard your opinion. But since it’s a cultural program, I’m sure you would be fine with your au pair visiting the national parks or NYC over the holidays. Oh what? You’re not? You’d really just prefer she remain in your house and just provide the childcare? Oh, gotcha. Seriously, GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Have you had an au pair? If you are a good family these girls have it great. The work they do isn't all that hard, in many cases just dropping off and picking up kids. They spend lots of their weekends with other girls they meet from their home countries. It's a balance when done right, and $195.75 or so a week is plenty for them.

Typical attempt to justify, but it doesn’t work. You are exploiting women from other countries and paying them less than minimum wage to care for your children. It’s even worse during a pandemic. In any other context this would be illegal, if not for this weird loophole that so clearly should be closed. You are cheap, terrible people. All your friends and family think it, trust me.

Exploiting women from other countries? Haha. All the au pairs I’ve come into contact with are 18 year olds from affluent German families looking for a year of fun and adventure.

If it’s “exploitative,” then the exploiting is happening on both ends! There is mutual benefit to the families and the au pairs. That’s what makes the program so popular & rewarding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

You’re incorrect and then rude, on top of it.

OP said the au pair rarely plays or interacts with the kids and doesn’t help around the house much.

So, no. It isn’t a case of indentured servitude, and she is not “doing more work that ever.” Maybe it’s a case of an upper middle class au pair demanding money for not doing work in return?

Next time read before commenting!

Let me guess, you also have an au pair. So we can safely disregard your opinion. But since it’s a cultural program, I’m sure you would be fine with your au pair visiting the national parks or NYC over the holidays. Oh what? You’re not? You’d really just prefer she remain in your house and just provide the childcare? Oh, gotcha. Seriously, GTFO.

WTF are you even talking about? Good lord. And yes au pairs can do what they want on weekends and holidays 🙄

I don’t have an au pair, but have had friends who did and they are treated very very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Have you had an au pair? If you are a good family these girls have it great. The work they do isn't all that hard, in many cases just dropping off and picking up kids. They spend lots of their weekends with other girls they meet from their home countries. It's a balance when done right, and $195.75 or so a week is plenty for them.

Typical attempt to justify, but it doesn’t work. You are exploiting women from other countries and paying them less than minimum wage to care for your children. It’s even worse during a pandemic. In any other context this would be illegal, if not for this weird loophole that so clearly should be closed. You are cheap, terrible people. All your friends and family think it, trust me.

Exploiting women from other countries? Haha. All the au pairs I’ve come into contact with are 18 year olds from affluent German families looking for a year of fun and adventure.

If it’s “exploitative,” then the exploiting is happening on both ends! There is mutual benefit to the families and the au pairs. That’s what makes the program so popular & rewarding.

Try again. See the post from the German above confirming they are from working class German households. And many are from poorer countries like Brazil and China. So yes, exploitation it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

You’re incorrect and then rude, on top of it.

OP said the au pair rarely plays or interacts with the kids and doesn’t help around the house much.

So, no. It isn’t a case of indentured servitude, and she is not “doing more work that ever.” Maybe it’s a case of an upper middle class au pair demanding money for not doing work in return?

Next time read before commenting!

Let me guess, you also have an au pair. So we can safely disregard your opinion. But since it’s a cultural program, I’m sure you would be fine with your au pair visiting the national parks or NYC over the holidays. Oh what? You’re not? You’d really just prefer she remain in your house and just provide the childcare? Oh, gotcha. Seriously, GTFO.

WTF are you even talking about? Good lord. And yes au pairs can do what they want on weekends and holidays 🙄

I don’t have an au pair, but have had friends who did and they are treated very very well.

So they can still travel freely during COVID? You’d be comfortable with a weekend in Orlando? Because the planes are flying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Have you had an au pair? If you are a good family these girls have it great. The work they do isn't all that hard, in many cases just dropping off and picking up kids. They spend lots of their weekends with other girls they meet from their home countries. It's a balance when done right, and $195.75 or so a week is plenty for them.

Typical attempt to justify, but it doesn’t work. You are exploiting women from other countries and paying them less than minimum wage to care for your children. It’s even worse during a pandemic. In any other context this would be illegal, if not for this weird loophole that so clearly should be closed. You are cheap, terrible people. All your friends and family think it, trust me.

Exploiting women from other countries? Haha. All the au pairs I’ve come into contact with are 18 year olds from affluent German families looking for a year of fun and adventure.

If it’s “exploitative,” then the exploiting is happening on both ends! There is mutual benefit to the families and the au pairs. That’s what makes the program so popular & rewarding.

Try again. See the post from the German above confirming they are from working class German households. And many are from poorer countries like Brazil and China. So yes, exploitation it is.

It's not exploitation. I don't think you have any idea about working class German households--they have a far higher standard of living than you think, and you are misreading/misusing my point. The "poorer" countries likely have more au pairs from more affluent households simply because the agency fees are quite high, and it is very difficult to get a visa for citizens of those countries, which is not the case for Germans. They don't even need a visa for 3 months, and can come and go at will. Apples and oranges. My point was simply that it is not something that is valued any more than in the US where it is not valued in UMC circles to go be an au pair in France to perfect your French.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

Funny, I'm actually from Berlin. (I'm the PP). Think maybe that's a selection bias. It's also a class issue. Of course perfecting your English is a valuable, but being an au pair is not. We've had them as well, always Germans to help our kids keep up their German. Every single one of them were from working class families--not that there is anything wrong with that, but who in the DMV is sending their kids to the same in other countries? Nobody. They are paying for study abroad programs to work on the language skills. German families from the equivalent class do the same, they don't send their kids to au pair either.

Of course it's a class issue, that's not even worth saying. You won't find many children of upper income people engaging in child care to better themselves, but it's a good path forward for those that need the additional boost. The fact that you had enough income not to worry about enriching yourself in this manner does not devalue its worth to those girls that could use the boost.

[Anonymous]

I think, right now, it's common to pay more. We've always paid $250/hr but are paying $300 during Covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What ages are the kids and are they in full time school? Or “virtual” school.

Does the au pair have car access and does she get out for socializing?

I also want more details. For instance, what if she accepted a position with 4 kids expecting them to be in school all day and now they are all virtual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Have you had an au pair? If you are a good family these girls have it great. The work they do isn't all that hard, in many cases just dropping off and picking up kids. They spend lots of their weekends with other girls they meet from their home countries. It's a balance when done right, and $195.75 or so a week is plenty for them.

Typical attempt to justify, but it doesn’t work. You are exploiting women from other countries and paying them less than minimum wage to care for your children. It’s even worse during a pandemic. In any other context this would be illegal, if not for this weird loophole that so clearly should be closed. You are cheap, terrible people. All your friends and family think it, trust me.

Exploiting women from other countries? Haha. All the au pairs I’ve come into contact with are 18 year olds from affluent German families looking for a year of fun and adventure.

If it’s “exploitative,” then the exploiting is happening on both ends! There is mutual benefit to the families and the au pairs. That’s what makes the program so popular & rewarding.

Try again. See the post from the German above confirming they are from working class German households. And many are from poorer countries like Brazil and China. So yes, exploitation it is.

It's not exploitation. I don't think you have any idea about working class German households--they have a far higher standard of living than you think, and you are misreading/misusing my point. The "poorer" countries likely have more au pairs from more affluent households simply because the agency fees are quite high, and it is very difficult to get a visa for citizens of those countries, which is not the case for Germans. They don't even need a visa for 3 months, and can come and go at will. Apples and oranges. My point was simply that it is not something that is valued any more than in the US where it is not valued in UMC circles to go be an au pair in France to perfect your French.

You are not very good at making your points. And you didn’t answer my question about whether you’d be comfortable with your au pair traveling around the USA on her/his breaks right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a fellow host mom the dynamics have changed a lot and many au pairs - now scarce and in demand - are understandably leveraging the new dynamic.

That said, I think if you can afford to pay her more, do so, make her show you she is stepping it up. I think the PP at 5:55 is spot on, but I would phrase it more positively.

Trump froze au pair visas for the pandemic. Biden might lift that but I doubt he’ll do it in the first 90 days while we’re staying at 500,000 Americ as is dead. The au pair deserves more money especially if the kid(s) are home 24/7.

A normal nanny, even with board, would be 2x this for multiple kids.

The rule expires at the end of the year. Unless Trump actively looks to reinstate it, it will dissapear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What ages are the kids and are they in full time school? Or “virtual” school.

Does the au pair have car access and does she get out for socializing?

I also want more details. For instance, what if she accepted a position with 4 kids expecting them to be in school all day and now they are all virtual?

She can work up to 45 hours. Whether that's during or after school hours, the limit is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

Funny, I'm actually from Berlin. (I'm the PP). Think maybe that's a selection bias. It's also a class issue. Of course perfecting your English is a valuable, but being an au pair is not. We've had them as well, always Germans to help our kids keep up their German. Every single one of them were from working class families--not that there is anything wrong with that, but who in the DMV is sending their kids to the same in other countries? Nobody. They are paying for study abroad programs to work on the language skills. German families from the equivalent class do the same, they don't send their kids to au pair either.

Our german au pair a few years ago was the daughter of an executive at Mercedes.
You should have seen the shopping bags....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

Nobody values it,not even in the Baltics. Hard to believe a German would value it. The youngsters got to be very immature for a employer to value it.
Most girls become Au Pairs it to take a break from school, plus get better at English. Used to be for experience and money. even the Blats travel the world for experience - no need to tie yourself down for a year. Nobody would let their kid go and work somewhere for pennies instead of school unless their child wants to do it. nobody who is going to be a doctor or a lawyer is going to waste a year abroad. Only the ones with no idea what to do, and then they realize that college is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$200 a week is all people pay full time au pairs?

Plus room, board, a phone and often a car.

How much did you have left over at the end of the month when all these were paid for when you were 20?

It’s basically indentured servitude. In the past, it was somewhat justified as a cultural exchange (although never really was), but that’s completely impossible during COVID. So I bet this au pair is doing more work than ever. No wonder she wants (and deserves) a raise! Yet this cheap-o think she’s generous because she’s exceeding the program minimum by $5?! I hope she walks and leaves your a$$. A better family will pick her up in a second. Disgusting people.

Thank you for your opinion. Moving on...

I mean, it’s true. The au pair program was always half babysitting, half cultural exchange. Now, with everyone basically stuck in their houses, the exchange aspect has disappeared and APs are just imprisoned with their host families. If I were them, I’d pack it up and go home.

It depends on the host family. If she is with a decent upper income family in the DMV, even just living in a nice home in Bethesda or Chevy Chase for a year and playing with some kids and saving money is better than being in their home country doing nothing - and having the au pair experience is valued in many countries, like Germany.

what? no.

--German

My former au pair, now in University in Berlin, and all of her friends from Germany and Austria, explained in detail how the year or two abroad as an au pair, perfecting English and demonstrating responsibility, was an experience that is very valuable back in their home countries, so much so that they pay the agencies to become au pairs.

Funny, I'm actually from Berlin. (I'm the PP). Think maybe that's a selection bias. It's also a class issue. Of course perfecting your English is a valuable, but being an au pair is not. We've had them as well, always Germans to help our kids keep up their German. Every single one of them were from working class families--not that there is anything wrong with that, but who in the DMV is sending their kids to the same in other countries? Nobody. They are paying for study abroad programs to work on the language skills. German families from the equivalent class do the same, they don't send their kids to au pair either.

Our german au pair a few years ago was the daughter of an executive at Mercedes.
You should have seen the shopping bags....

One out of a million.