He's cheating. Now what?

[Anonymous]

Op.if you are still reading and want to connect outside of dcum, post a throwaway email address and I'll reach out. Maybe we can support each other.

-Op of found out my dh is cheating on vacation thread

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would he do if it were you? I find that men have such a low tolerance for cheating, but expect women to "get over it" I have been cheated on by a partner who I would never in a million years think would do that to me, so I understand the devastation you are dealing with at this moment. For me, it was the lying and deceit that hurt the most. Right now you may feel that you can look past this, but every time he doesn't answer his phone, comes in late, gets a late phone call, leaves the house at a weird time, dresses up more than usual, or goes out of town for business, you will be thinking it's about another woman. It will be hard and it will affect you and ultimately the stress will affect your children. I think you should confront him and let him know you want to work it out and go to counseling. What you do not want to do is carry on like nothing is going on and get blind-sided by him one day asking for a divorce. at which point there is a strong chance you will not be able to fix it. Hugs, OP. I really do hope everything works out for you and your marriage.

I agree with this. My STBX cheated & told me over and over again that if I had cheated he’d never take me back. He asked to reconcile but I said no.

But just like women, many married men say that and are extremely adamant it’s a deal breaker yet they don’t divorce when it happens.

I know a guy that reconciled and his wife had been bringing the men into their house to bang when he was at work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would he do if it were you? I find that men have such a low tolerance for cheating, but expect women to "get over it" I have been cheated on by a partner who I would never in a million years think would do that to me, so I understand the devastation you are dealing with at this moment. For me, it was the lying and deceit that hurt the most. Right now you may feel that you can look past this, but every time he doesn't answer his phone, comes in late, gets a late phone call, leaves the house at a weird time, dresses up more than usual, or goes out of town for business, you will be thinking it's about another woman. It will be hard and it will affect you and ultimately the stress will affect your children. I think you should confront him and let him know you want to work it out and go to counseling. What you do not want to do is carry on like nothing is going on and get blind-sided by him one day asking for a divorce. at which point there is a strong chance you will not be able to fix it. Hugs, OP. I really do hope everything works out for you and your marriage.

I agree with this. My STBX cheated & told me over and over again that if I had cheated he’d never take me back. He asked to reconcile but I said no.

But just like women, many married men say that and are extremely adamant it’s a deal breaker yet they don’t divorce when it happens.

I know a guy that reconciled and his wife had been bringing the men into their house to bang when he was at work.

As far as egregious offenses ^that has to be the ultimate form of betrayal/cheating. That would be hard for anyone to recover from. Even your own home isn't a safe place and has awful triggers. You can't leave the house or go on a trip w/out wondering. Usually people only have to worry when THE former cheater leaves the house for something, this guy has to worry BOTH when he leaves the house and when she leaves the house. Plus, it is just so much crappier and disrespect to the ultimate degree.