Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

That's not the point. The girl had no expectation that the other boys would stay out of it, so because there weren't any witnesses, it doesn't matter? Sorry, no, it does matter, and it needs to be dealt with.

IMO- it already was. The girl yelled at him and told him to knock it off. Has it happened again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

That's not the point. The girl had no expectation that the other boys would stay out of it, so because there weren't any witnesses, it doesn't matter? Sorry, no, it does matter, and it needs to be dealt with.

IMO- it already was. The girl yelled at him and told him to knock it off. Has it happened again?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe this is to page 25! I left on page 8! I see people still want the 12yo to go on trial for rape.

The thing that bothers me the most is the obsessive nature of this mother. This was between two middle schoolers. She claims her DD handled it appropriately. It happened off school grounds after school was out and she is STILL insisting on getting the school involved and hunting this boy down. Nuts.

If it were my son who did the slapping, I'd definitely want to be hunted down and informed so that I could teach him not to ever do anything like that again. No way would I minimize this behavior. Yeah, it's probably just a middle schooler acting stupid because of peer pressure, but that doesn't mean there shouldn't be any consequences at all.

Not OP, but thank you for being a responsible parent of a son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

The details have not changed. There are a lot of posters adding their own narrative, and me correcting it. My intentions haven't changed. I don't think reporting an infraction to the school is hysterical and insane. Schools have rules for a reason. If you don't like the rules, start a petition and send it to your superintendent. Your opinion of their policies is of no concern to me. Your opinion of my parenting is also of no concern. My daughter is making the choices on how to proceed. I'll be sure to pass along that a bunch of harpies don't approve.

It didn't happen at school or during school hours.

But the handbook covers transit to and from school, and OP's daughter was on the way home from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

Exactly. That is what's odd. But it fits exactly into how we coddle boys and expect girls to basically function like adults. It's completely crap, sexist, and it's disgusting to see how many people on this thread buy into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

. + 1. If on the off chance op is not a troll, she needs serious therapy. I don't know how a grown woman can be so helpless. No wonder her daughter fell apart over something other posters have said their kids believe can, should and have been addressed by the kids involved. Neurotic parents make neurotic kids.

Yup. This thread is evidence to that.

There's nothing neurotic about reporting that someone broke the rules and the law by violating your right to your own body. There's nothing neurotic about being upset when a bunch of boys gang up on you and smack you and embarrass you. There's nothing neurotic about thinking that behavior should be punished.
You know what's messed up, though? Trying to tag a woman as having mental problems because she thinks it's not okay for her to be touched when she doesn't want to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

If a group of girls had done this to the Op's daughter instead would you still want to make sure that they were held accountable? I ask because girls actually tend to be way worse to other girls than boys are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

Exactly. That is what's odd. But it fits exactly into how we coddle boys and expect girls to basically function like adults. It's completely crap, sexist, and it's disgusting to see how many people on this thread buy into it.

Not one person has said that what this boy did was acceptable. Not one. What people have said is that this happened on the last day of school when kids were feeling their oats. This boy did not even know the Op's daughter so this was likely a random moment of stupidity on this boy's part. To insist on labeling this a violent sexual assault is...not helpful. The Op can spend the summer trying to identify this boy and locate his parents only to have him (and his friends) deny the whole thing ever happened.

Op's daughter did stand up for herself and she told the kid to stop. He did. Beyond that I'm not sure what Op can realistically expect to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a group of girls had done this to the Op's daughter instead would you still want to make sure that they were held accountable? I ask because girls actually tend to be way worse to other girls than boys are.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

Exactly. That is what's odd. But it fits exactly into how we coddle boys and expect girls to basically function like adults. It's completely crap, sexist, and it's disgusting to see how many people on this thread buy into it.

Not one person has said that what this boy did was acceptable. Not one. What people have said is that this happened on the last day of school when kids were feeling their oats. This boy did not even know the Op's daughter so this was likely a random moment of stupidity on this boy's part. To insist on labeling this a violent sexual assault is...not helpful. The Op can spend the summer trying to identify this boy and locate his parents only to have him (and his friends) deny the whole thing ever happened.

Op's daughter did stand up for herself and she told the kid to stop. He did. Beyond that I'm not sure what Op can realistically expect to happen.

\


No one has labeled this a "violent sexual assualt," pp. (BTW, hyperbole much? What sexual assault is gentle?)

A few people, including me, have advocating the police if the girl's mother doesn't get an appropriate reaction from the boy's parents. Not to arrest the kid, but to put the fear of God in him so he understands that what he did was wrong and technically speaking, criminal.

There needs to be some accountability and consequences for the boy. Not as a punishment, but as a lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

Exactly. That is what's odd. But it fits exactly into how we coddle boys and expect girls to basically function like adults. It's completely crap, sexist, and it's disgusting to see how many people on this thread buy into it.

Not one person has said that what this boy did was acceptable. Not one. What people have said is that this happened on the last day of school when kids were feeling their oats. This boy did not even know the Op's daughter so this was likely a random moment of stupidity on this boy's part. To insist on labeling this a violent sexual assault is...not helpful. The Op can spend the summer trying to identify this boy and locate his parents only to have him (and his friends) deny the whole thing ever happened.

Op's daughter did stand up for herself and she told the kid to stop. He did. Beyond that I'm not sure what Op can realistically expect to happen.

You quoted a string of comments that advocates for an adult speaking to him about the behavior. If you read it, you would find the answer to your question.

[Anonymous]

but the fact of the matter is OP still acts clueless about taking action and would rather come here and rile people up and play the victim. This happened on the last day of school-
Did you call the principle OP? Did you work with you daughter to identify the kid? Or are you still just trying to figure out how in these modern times, you will ever contact his parents, when you finally calm yourself down from the meanness that is DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

Exactly! He needs to have someone make him see that peer pressure/encouragement from friends can't outweigh what he should know is wrong.

There was one child telling him to stop, and 10 more telling him to do it. An adult would put all of that into perspective.

You know what's odd? My daughter is expected to protect herself independently when outnumbered, suck it up and not have an emotional reaction. The boy is just an awkward child who did something stupid and he shouldn't be reminded that his behavior was unacceptable. After all, he's just a child!

Exactly. That is what's odd. But it fits exactly into how we coddle boys and expect girls to basically function like adults. It's completely crap, sexist, and it's disgusting to see how many people on this thread buy into it.

Not one person has said that what this boy did was acceptable. Not one. What people have said is that this happened on the last day of school when kids were feeling their oats. This boy did not even know the Op's daughter so this was likely a random moment of stupidity on this boy's part. To insist on labeling this a violent sexual assault is...not helpful. The Op can spend the summer trying to identify this boy and locate his parents only to have him (and his friends) deny the whole thing ever happened.

Op's daughter did stand up for herself and she told the kid to stop. He did. Beyond that I'm not sure what Op can realistically expect to happen.

\


No one has labeled this a "violent sexual assualt," pp. (BTW, hyperbole much? What sexual assault is gentle?)

A few people, including me, have advocating the police if the girl's mother doesn't get an appropriate reaction from the boy's parents. Not to arrest the kid, but to put the fear of God in him so he understands that what he did was wrong and technically speaking, criminal.

There needs to be some accountability and consequences for the boy. Not as a punishment, but as a lesson.

So Op calls the boy's parents days after the fact, tells them what happened and they are suppose to what? Instantly agree with Op and assume that their son did, in fact, smack the girl on the butt? I suppose the boy will immediately confess to doing this and his parents will agree to punish him in a way that Op approves of and if not then Op is going to call the cops on them all? Well, o.k.