Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

[Anonymous]

26 pages of overreaction is 25 pages too many.

OP, you say your school's handbook says that the school can punish harassing behavior on the way to or from school. I find that odd to have in a handbook, but if it's there, your reaction should be simple. Go to the principal, tell them the situation, cite the handbook, and let them handle it. Ask for a followup email detailing what was done. Don't expect the principal to give you the parent's contact info. Easy.

Your daughter must be able to positively identify the boy. If she can't identify him, then you can't expect anything to be done and you and your daughter must move on.

If she can identify, but the school doesn't see it as something they should handle (if school is out, and it wasn't on school property it isn't really a school matter and the principal may say as much) then you look up the last name of the student and try to find the parent's contact info and call them.

Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

The details have not changed. There are a lot of posters adding their own narrative, and me correcting it. My intentions haven't changed. I don't think reporting an infraction to the school is hysterical and insane. Schools have rules for a reason. If you don't like the rules, start a petition and send it to your superintendent. Your opinion of their policies is of no concern to me. Your opinion of my parenting is also of no concern. My daughter is making the choices on how to proceed. I'll be sure to pass along that a bunch of harpies don't approve.

[Anonymous]

^ Thanks for posting in the first place then OP. Why the hell are you even here if you don't want a gut check? I'm sure your daughter is making "Choices" entirely independent of what you're telling her you think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ Thanks for posting in the first place then OP. Why the hell are you even here if you don't want a gut check? I'm sure your daughter is making "Choices" entirely independent of what you're telling her you think about it.

For the fifth time, I didn't want advice on what to do, only how to go about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

The details have not changed. There are a lot of posters adding their own narrative, and me correcting it. My intentions haven't changed. I don't think reporting an infraction to the school is hysterical and insane. Schools have rules for a reason. If you don't like the rules, start a petition and send it to your superintendent. Your opinion of their policies is of no concern to me. Your opinion of my parenting is also of no concern. My daughter is making the choices on how to proceed. I'll be sure to pass along that a bunch of harpies don't approve.

It didn't happen at school or during school hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Thanks for posting in the first place then OP. Why the hell are you even here if you don't want a gut check? I'm sure your daughter is making "Choices" entirely independent of what you're telling her you think about it.

For the fifth time, I didn't want advice on what to do, only how to go about it.

Yes we know. You wanted advice on how to hunt down the address of a 12 year old boy. Should you demand that information from the principal or the police.

Also your story has absolutely been embellished as you went along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

. + 1. If on the off chance op is not a troll, she needs serious therapy. I don't know how a grown woman can be so helpless. No wonder her daughter fell apart over something other posters have said their kids believe can, should and have been addressed by the kids involved. Neurotic parents make neurotic kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

. + 1. If on the off chance op is not a troll, she needs serious therapy. I don't know how a grown woman can be so helpless. No wonder her daughter fell apart over something other posters have said their kids believe can, should and have been addressed by the kids involved. Neurotic parents make neurotic kids.

Yup. This thread is evidence to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assault is defined as an unwanted touching.

Sexual assault is an unwanted touching with a sexual component.

Both definitions appear applicable here.

I am shocked that people are willing to accept this type of behavior as excused by the child's age and/or gender. If we as a society do not take this type of conduct seriously, why should children.

While the police are unlikely to prosecute, it is not inappropriate to consider raising it to the police if the school is unresponsive. It appears clear that the boys understood the difference between right and wrong and chose to encourage and engage in the misconduct anyway. Therefore, under the law, the boy could be prosecuted.

I doubt the law views this as sexual assault. If the kid had pulled her pants down first, then yes.

Nobody is saying this behavior is acceptable. But just because it is unacceptable doesn't mean it is worthy of police involvement.

That's the problem. You "doubt?" Come on.

Virginia codee:

§ 18.2-67.10. General definitions.

As used in this article:

1. "Complaining witness" means the person alleged to have been subjected to rape, forcible sodomy, inanimate or animate object sexual penetration, marital sexual assault, aggravated sexual battery, or sexual battery.

2. "Intimate parts" means the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, or buttocks of any person.

3. "Mental incapacity" means that condition of the complaining witness existing at the time of an offense under this article which prevents the complaining witness from understanding the nature or consequences of the sexual act involved in such offense and about which the accused knew or should have known.

4. "Physical helplessness" means unconsciousness or any other condition existing at the time of an offense under this article which otherwise rendered the complaining witness physically unable to communicate an unwillingness to act and about which the accused knew or should have known.

5. The complaining witness's "prior sexual conduct" means any sexual conduct on the part of the complaining witness which took place before the conclusion of the trial, excluding the conduct involved in the offense alleged under this article.

6. "Sexual abuse" means an act committed with the intent to sexually molest, arouse, or gratify any person, where:

a. The accused intentionally touches the complaining witness's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts;

b. The accused forces the complaining witness to touch the accused's, the witness's own, or another person's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts;

c. If the complaining witness is under the age of 13, the accused causes or assists the complaining witness to touch the accused's, the witness's own, or another person's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts; or

d. The accused forces another person to touch the complaining witness's intimate parts or material directly covering such intimate parts.

(1981, c. 397; 1987, c. 277; 1993, c. 549; 1994, c. 568; 2004, c. 741.)

Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. When I was 12 years old, a grown man jumped on top of me. A fistfight ensued and he ran away. You know what? We still called the police. So, spare me your opinion that I'm a wimp. I can and have gone to blows to protect myself when it was needed. I didn't cry when I was fighting, but I sure as hell did later. My daughter knows how to protect herself, but was afraid of the 10 boys that were cheering the boy on. I'd be afraid of taking on a group of teens. If there was a group of 10 men doing the same thing, I'd call the police and run.

BTDT, OP, and my mother called the police because I insisted. 2 boys slapping at me (one at butt, one at breasts), 5 or 6 egging them on. When you're a girl by yourself and there's a whole crowd of boys egging on one or two doing things, the girl can be very, very afraid. And I'm sorry, but there is no way to know that if I had kicked or hit them, that the others wouldn't have "defended" their friends. Honestly, whether she wants to do it or not, call the police. They need to know that a group of boys is doing this, that way they can be aware and watching.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay. Finally though the entire thread.

OP is trolling.

The story keeps becoming more and more embellished as it clearly isn't going the way she wanted it to. The story backpeddles, then the OP says those posts are her. Its just all over the place.

Now we have an assault when she was 12.

25 pages for a troll.

. + 1. If on the off chance op is not a troll, she needs serious therapy. I don't know how a grown woman can be so helpless. No wonder her daughter fell apart over something other posters have said their kids believe can, should and have been addressed by the kids involved. Neurotic parents make neurotic kids.

Yup. This thread is evidence to that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

Why is everyone so obsessed about this. It sounds lIke the goal would be to have a person of authority tell him that's not acceptable. Is the concern that he's too much of a fragile flower for an adult to tell him to cut it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Exactly! It's not likely to be prosecuted, but the parents and kid need to know that it *could* be.

So OP reports it, there are no witnesses except for the boys egging on the perpetrator. I think that number has been reported as 10 boys, but it may have increased. Dunno.

So we've got the word of 1 girl v. 11 boys, off school grounds, no witnesses, and no signs of physical damage. Sounds like a really strong case...

That's not the point. The girl had no expectation that the other boys would stay out of it, so because there weren't any witnesses, it doesn't matter? Sorry, no, it does matter, and it needs to be dealt with.