Can't wait to change my surname, but notice many women keeping theirs, is there a reason for this trend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been reading through this forum and have noticed a concerning trend of negative attitudes towards American cultural norms, like the tradition of taking a husband's last name, which is embraced by approximately 85% of women in the U.S. This practice is more than just a tradition; it's an integral part of our social and family structure.

Your participation in these discussions, marked by a dismissive stance towards American customs, is troubling. It's crucial to understand that expressing such negativity, especially in public forums, can have serious implications for your integration into American society. This attitude and visible disdain towards the U.S. could also adversely affect your visa status and the process of obtaining a green card.

While it's important to maintain your personal identity and beliefs, showing respect for the customs of your host country is essential when living in a new community. Publicly insulting these traditions can be seen in a negative light, possibly impacting your efforts to adapt to life in the U.S.

I encourage you to reconsider your approach and engage with cultural differences respectfully. Your experiences and viewpoints are important, but so is demonstrating a willingness to understand and integrate into the cultural context of your new home.

I am a birthright United States citizen and your thinly veiled Trumpist threats about my “green card” don’t scare me. They are also an embarrassment to the idea of America as a nation of laws. Get bent.

I understand the need for a respectful and constructive discussion, and I appreciate your perspective on this matter. It's essential to maintain a respectful tone and avoid political attacks, as this conversation is about cultural practices and traditions.

However, there seems to be some confusion in your previous posts. You mentioned "in your country" when discussing naming traditions, which led to the assumption that you might have had experiences in another country. If you are a birthright United States citizen, that's perfectly fine, and there's no need to present different perspectives.

Let's focus on the cultural aspects and traditions we are discussing without delving into political discussions or attacks. It's important to engage in open and respectful dialogue to better understand each other's viewpoints and foster a productive conversation. Additionally, please refrain from bringing up political references as they are not relevant to this conversation.

Dude, stop using ChatGpt please! You were the one “threatening” green card and visa status for US critics. Go away weirdo

Let's make things clear: I'm not ChatGPT, but I'm here to provide information and facilitate a respectful discussion. Please, let's refrain from introducing personal bias and liberal views into the conversation. It's important to approach this topic with an open and balanced perspective. The 85% statistic represents a widely observed cultural practice in the United States, and our aim is to discuss it objectively and respectfully.

Slavery was a widely observed cultural practice in the US, once upon a time. Things change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow dcum so lib and out our touch with most of women taking the last name, beware of this forum make sure to do research in other places

What's out of touch? The OP asked why women keep their names and if that causes problems with administrative processes. Women who didn't change their name answered why and confirmed that they had no issues. I'm aware that most women change their name after marriage, I just don't care, or should I jump into the bandwagon too?

[Anonymous]

I know almost no one who changes their name when they get married. I did in 2003 but felt iffy about it. I was one of my first friends to get married. All the friends after me kept their names. And I later got divorced. I wouldn’t change my name if I got married again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

Now, cupcake, explain how great this is for women when they divorce and are yoked to a cheater with this vile remembrance.


As someone who kept their maiden name 35 years ago, with my husband's enthusiastic agreement, I can say I have had zero issues with having a different name.


You literally don't know what you are talking about. It is SO MUCH easier to keep your name, because you literally have to do.... NOTHING!

No lines. No paperwork. Nada.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

How in the world would my passport application, username, and emails be made easier if I had changed my last name to my husbands or he to mine?? Seriously please explain that because I do not recall a single instance of having difficulty in any of these situations.

Married 30 years, never has it been cumbersome or confusing to have different last names. And our kids have gone to multiple schools, had numerous doctors including specialists, and we have traveled often and internationally.

Sorry to disappoint you and spoil your narrative which seems rooted in maybe the early 1900’s?

Right? Having a different last name than my husband has caused zero problems for me ever. I'm American-born, and it never occurred to me that I wanted to change my name.

Fantastic for both of you. I chose to change my name and it has caused me zero problems in my professional life, while traveling, etc. The paperwork was extremely easy, too.

Wouldn’t it be great if women could actually support other women’s decisions instead of trying to one-up each other? Isn’t that the goal here? That we can do what we WANT to do and what feels right for US?

None of the posters you're replying to were attacking women who changed their surnames, they just argued against the notion that achange in your surname would bring you issues. The OP on the other hand questioned why married women kept their name, and it's interesting that men almost always keep their and never get their choice questioned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

Now, cupcake, explain how great this is for women when they divorce and are yoked to a cheater with this vile remembrance.


As someone who kept their maiden name 35 years ago, with my husband's enthusiastic agreement, I can say I have had zero issues with having a different name.


You literally don't know what you are talking about. It is SO MUCH easier to keep your name, because you literally have to do.... NOTHING!

No lines. No paperwork. Nada.

You're probably replying to a troll that's using chatGPT so their response might be very limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do men with double hyphenated last names tend to do when they get married?

Like say Jane Canniff and John Neubauer get married and become Jane Canniff-Neubauer and John Canniff-Naubauer, and they have a son and name him Sebastian Canniff-Neubauer. What does Sebastian do with his last name when he gets married?

Anyone have any anecdotes of men they’ve known in this situation?

Do they add the wife’s last name on? Sebastian Canniff-Naubauer-Smith and Sally Canniff-Naubauer-Smith?

Do they drop one of the last names and add hers on? Canniff-Smith?

Does the wife take the last names of her father in law and mother in law? Sally Canniff-Neubauer?

Just wondering what people have done in this situation.

The Spanish have worked this out.

It's true that naming traditions can vary from one country to another, and what works in one place may not be as practical in another. In the United States, it's common for individuals to take their husband's last name upon marriage, and this practice has practical benefits, such as streamlining administrative tasks like taxes, passports, and usernames and emails.

Managing multiple last names can indeed be cumbersome and confusing, and that's one of the reasons many choose to follow the U.S. naming tradition. It's important to recognize that naming practices can differ around the world, and what works best often depends on the specific cultural and administrative context of each country.

How in the world would my passport application, username, and emails be made easier if I had changed my last name to my husbands or he to mine?? Seriously please explain that because I do not recall a single instance of having difficulty in any of these situations.

Married 30 years, never has it been cumbersome or confusing to have different last names. And our kids have gone to multiple schools, had numerous doctors including specialists, and we have traveled often and internationally.

Sorry to disappoint you and spoil your narrative which seems rooted in maybe the early 1900’s?

Right? Having a different last name than my husband has caused zero problems for me ever. I'm American-born, and it never occurred to me that I wanted to change my name.

Fantastic for both of you. I chose to change my name and it has caused me zero problems in my professional life, while traveling, etc. The paperwork was extremely easy, too.

Wouldn’t it be great if women could actually support other women’s decisions instead of trying to one-up each other? Isn’t that the goal here? That we can do what we WANT to do and what feels right for US?

I assume you are speaking to the person who keeps bringing up the 85%, cultural norms, and implying that women who don't change their names create problems, etc. I hope that person takes your admonition to heart.
Is that correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow dcum so lib and out our touch with most of women taking the last name, beware of this forum make sure to do research in other places

The DC/VA/MD area has the most highly educated population in the country.

And the most judgmental and insecure, it seems.

Judging by the posters who don't like women not changing their names to their husband's, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow dcum so lib and out our touch with most of women taking the last name, beware of this forum make sure to do research in other places

Are you having a stroke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow dcum so lib and out our touch with most of women taking the last name, beware of this forum make sure to do research in other places

Are you having a stroke?

[Anonymous]

As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

ho hum

My DH doesn't respect men like you, so I guess you're even!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

Imagine looking down on men for having a wife with a different surname while being too afraid to speak one's mind because of some mean twitter feminist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

Yeah, you aren't being respected by any of them, either. Everybody wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I would not respect any man whose wife didn't change her surname to his. There's many of us who think this way, but we just say it out loud to avoid the feminist mob.

Look OP… these are the men that care about their wives changing their names. Thankfully many don’t. It’s about holding women as property and being inferior to men.

Is your husband like this? If I were you I would ask before you marry him