17 Year Old Custody Schedule

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

[Anonymous]

17 and 18 year olds need you to show up for them- go to their games and tournaments and ceremonies and cheer them on,
buy them dinner afterwards and then let them go hang out with their friends. What this dad is doing to his kid, not showing up and instead taking that away from him by demanding he come to him - frankly he’s just going to lose his son this way. Whatever his intention, or feels he deserves, you treat a young adult like that and they won’t ever forget it. There are truck driver dads who pull all nighters to make it to their kids’ senior games. This dad has no excuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:17 and 18 year olds need you to show up for them- go to their games and tournaments and ceremonies and cheer them on,
buy them dinner afterwards and then let them go hang out with their friends. What this dad is doing to his kid, not showing up and instead taking that away from him by demanding he come to him - frankly he’s just going to lose his son this way. Whatever his intention, or feels he deserves, you treat a young adult like that and they won’t ever forget it. There are truck driver dads who pull all nighters to make it to their kids’ senior games. This dad has no excuses.

There are lots of good reasons and this kid does not want dinner with dad. Friends only.

[Anonymous]

Curious what happens with custody & visitation if a kid goes away to college at 16 or 17.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious what happens with custody & visitation if a kid goes away to college at 16 or 17.

It's extremely rare for kids to go away to college at 16. Even 17 isn't typical, and those 17 year olds turn 18 within a month or so of getting to college.
Most states have a kindergarten cutoff around September 1 or September 30.

[Anonymous]

Poor Dad. OP you should be fined.

[Anonymous]

Just FYI, I went to college (Ivy, out of state) at 16, thanks to skipped grades. My parents specified who would pay for college in the divorce agreement, making my father responsible for tuition, room and board for his children through the completion of a terminal graduate or professional degree (i.e. a PhD, MD, or the like). Child support payments to my mother stopped when I went to college.

The divorce agreement was phrased as "when the child goes to college" and not "when the child turns X age".

YMMV based on the wording of your agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

Of course your son is refusing visits. You've been clear all along that you don't want him to have visits except maybe an occasional dinner or meet up so he's doing it to make you happy.

[Anonymous]

Op, thanks for coming back to update. Your DS’s relationship with his father isn’t your responsibility. I don’t know why other posters seem to think it is? He’s an adult now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

Of course your son is refusing visits. You've been clear all along that you don't want him to have visits except maybe an occasional dinner or meet up so he's doing it to make you happy.

OP here:

You clearly haven’t read a single one of my posts carefully, troll.

[Anonymous]

OP, thanks for the update. I'm sorry your ex made a bunch of decisions that ended up alienating him from his son, but most of all I am glad this is over for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: He's probably 18 now (op said 'spring) so hopefully the dc and the op don't have to worry about this anymore.

If not yet it's getting closer.

Hi. OP here:

Yes, my son turned 18 a little bit ago. The hell is over.

To the nasty other PP who said I “should be fined”: you’ll be happy to know the court ultimately ordered my ex to pay MY attorneys fees for bringing a frivolous motion. We did have one hearing. The judge found that I did nothing wrong and that I made all efforts to comply with the schedule. I had to go deeper into debt to pay for a lawyer, so this was a relief. I could share more details as to how exactly this all went down, but I don’t want to be easily identified.

After all this, my son is no longer speaking to my ex. And believe it or not, even though he is now 18, I have encouraged my son to go up to his dad’s any time he wants. I’ve told him he can go spend as much time as he wants there this summer, to try and “start over” with his dad. My DS won’t do it. I sincerely hope that will change in time.

I would not wish the last 9 months on my worst enemy, like I said earlier. It didn’t have to end up this way, and I’m pissed at my ex for it.

Let my experience be a cautionary tale to those parents who don’t want to listen to their 17.5 year old’s opinions and at least TRY to work out a compromise.

Of course your son is refusing visits. You've been clear all along that you don't want him to have visits except maybe an occasional dinner or meet up so he's doing it to make you happy.

OP here:

You clearly haven’t read a single one of my posts carefully, troll.

I read your version which was you were setting this all up by finding every way in terms of excuses to sever the relationship. You taught your son friends, parties and activities are more important than dad. Dad has no value to your child. You won. There is now no relationship. Move on. Let dad move on. Leave the man alone already. Stop pretending you want them to have a relationship as if you really do, you’ve already done too much damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for the update. I'm sorry your ex made a bunch of decisions that ended up alienating him from his son, but most of all I am glad this is over for you.

Actually she alienated them by terminating the visits and now playing victim and still blaming dad. Everything and everyone was a priority over dad per her teachings. She won. Leave the man alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thanks for the update. I'm sorry your ex made a bunch of decisions that ended up alienating him from his son, but most of all I am glad this is over for you.

Actually she alienated them by terminating the visits and now playing victim and still blaming dad. Everything and everyone was a priority over dad per her teachings. She won. Leave the man alone.

-1 Don’t know what you are talking about.