College parent helicoptering!

Anonymous
This is a new one: my son left his Faceook open on his "X University Class of 2018" page and there was more than one mother on there asking questions on behalf of their kid. Crazy! (My child would be mortified...)

Is it just me, or is that a little strange?
Anonymous
I don't think it's strange. Parents want to have a student's perspective of how things are which might be different than what is being presented to them.
Anonymous
I love how some parents think there job is done when a DC receives a high school diploma.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I love how some parents think there job is done when a DC receives a high school diploma.


Not done, but different. Please, parents have no business on the class facebook page. This is a private conversation amongst classmates. My DD's class (she will be a freshman) has an open page and then a closed page for the class, probably to get away from prying parents. If she has a question that she can't answer herself I've (1) found the information on the college website, or (2) if its a financial question I've called (because that is my business, since we're footing the bill).

She would be furious if I was posting questions. PP, I am assuming you don't have a college age child. If you do, I really hope you didn't engage in this behavior.
Anonymous
Plus "asking questions on behalf of their kid?" If the kid can't ask himself, he's not ready for college.
Anonymous
Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs.

The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.
Anonymous
I am 40 years old, and my college roommates was helicoptered by her parents. I'm sure even more people helicopter now.
Anonymous
Keep in mind - no two snowflakes are exactly alike. Some need a bit of help in areas of social adeptness, but a re more than ready for the academic challenges of college.

There is no basis for someone on an anonymous message board to judge another's snowflake based on the limited information provided by OP.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs.

The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.


Asking questions on an open forum does not necessarily mean that the parents are over involved and enmeshed. Some kids finish high school when they are 17 or even 16 and need parental guidance.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs.

The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.


Asking questions on an open forum does not necessarily mean that the parents are over involved and enmeshed. Some kids finish high school when they are 17 or even 16 and need parental guidance.


+1

Those shouting about "helicoptering" are simply projecting their own guilt about not doing enough
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs.

The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.


Asking questions on an open forum does not necessarily mean that the parents are over involved and enmeshed. Some kids finish high school when they are 17 or even 16 and need parental guidance.


+1

Those shouting about "helicoptering" are simply projecting their own guilt about not doing enough


No. This is just wrong. My son has been all over his college class facebook page and I have never seen it. He would be horrified if I started asking questions. And I'm sorry, if your 16 or 17 year old is heading to college, but needs you in there asking fellow classmates questions, your child is not "ready" for college. Just stop.
Anonymous
College prof here --- Parents who help with college papers are preventing their kids from learning. Parents who contact professors or administrators on their child's behalf get a reputation as nutbags. When we have to write a letter of recommendation for your child for grad school or a job, we are not inclined to describe them as mature, self-starters, energetic go-getters, etc.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Over involved, enmeshed parents. They are doing more harm than good to their kids but often they are so caught up due to their own anxiety and own expectations, that they lose sight of what their child aka young adult needs.

The kids soon either just pull away or go underground - living one life for parents and one that parents aren't part of.


Asking questions on an open forum does not necessarily mean that the parents are over involved and enmeshed. Some kids finish high school when they are 17 or even 16 and need parental guidance.


+1

Those shouting about "helicoptering" are simply projecting their own guilt about not doing enough


No. This is just wrong. My son has been all over his college class facebook page and I have never seen it. He would be horrified if I started asking questions. And I'm sorry, if your 16 or 17 year old is heading to college, but needs you in there asking fellow classmates questions, your child is not "ready" for college. Just stop.


Do you at least acknowledge the possibility that your child might be at least a little different form every other child and that your wisdom might not apply to every child?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:This is a new one: my son left his Faceook open on his "X University Class of 2018" page and there was more than one mother on there asking questions on behalf of their kid. Crazy! (My child would be mortified...)

Is it just me, or is that a little strange?


Maybe the parents are just clueless about how the class facebook page is supposed to work (i.e., it's not for parents).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is a new one: my son left his Faceook open on his "X University Class of 2018" page and there was more than one mother on there asking questions on behalf of their kid. Crazy! (My child would be mortified...)

Is it just me, or is that a little strange?


Maybe the parents are just clueless about how the class facebook page is supposed to work (i.e., it's not for parents).


Decent chance. The fact that FB is used by parents and kids alike also blurs the lines a bit. If it is clear that it's a student page and the parent is asking helicoptery questions or "my son wants to know ..." then watch for helicopter blades.
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