Thoughts on supsending preschool students

[Anonymous]

My friend shared this story with me. While I am all for giving children consequences and diciplining bad behavior, I don't think multiple suspensions is going to help a 3 year old. I don't think most 3 year olds really understand cause and effect well enough for it to be an effective punishment. I also think the kid needs some interventions on how to deal with anger

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/24/my-son-has-been-suspended-five-times-hes-3/

[Anonymous]

I wondered which DCPS this was.

[Anonymous]

I'm having a hard time understanding why suspension is a solution for any child at that age. The learning that happens in preschool is primarily socialization and self-regulation - it's at the heart of the "work" of play.

It seems to me that a school resorting to suspension is saying they don't know how to teach that. At the least, it's a presumption that the child cannot learn; at worst, it's delivering that message to a developing mind that is, in fact, learning.

I had a fascination with the Super Nanny television show when I was pregnant, and it was a precursor to my understanding that many parents at all levels of the SES (most on the show were white) just don't have the skills and experience to parent their kids effectively. But I was relieved to know there are experts in the field, who can help kids and their parents (the Parent Encouragement Program - aka PEP - is phenomenal). Everyone - kids at that age, and their parents - is learning, and they should expect that expert educators are teaching.

Which leads to the question: what is the suspension of a preschooler teaching anyone?

[Anonymous]

Agree with OP and PP--I don't see how suspending a preschooler is at all appropriate or helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP and PP--I don't see how suspending a preschooler is at all appropriate or helpful.

It's not appropriate, and it's not helpful. It's what schools/teachers/principals who are short on appropriate resources, short on creativity, and short on patience (usually understandably so) do. It just sends the child right back to where they most likely learned the behaviors that got them suspended, and most schools doing this to such young children also don't have the resources or make the effort to really talk to the parents.

But it's unacceptable. Elementary schools should be able to handle these kids, even the out of control ones, in the school. But that does take more staffing in terms of social workers and discipline people, plus a room (or multiple rooms) in the school to use for this. But suspension is not the answer and sets the kids up for a school career of suspension and eventually academic failure and dropping out. Even if these young kids are bad as hell they are almost always just doing what they've learned elsewhere and too young to "choose better" without structured interventions. In other words, it's not their fault, and just "getting them out of the school" is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

I'm white, spent one challenging year with my 3yo at a DCPCS, and I agree with the author 100%. Boys have it hard these days, but I would be terrified to be the mother of a black boy. I feel for her. I knew kids like hers and they were good kids with shitty teachers and lame administrators. I hope they can afford to go private for their boys.

[Anonymous]

Mom was looking for attention to write a story. I'd be embarrassed to admit my child was behaving like that in school. If the child acted like that in school, he should be suspended, regardless of race. Mom need to focus on parenting and look at what is going on at home and school for them to behave that way. I would fully expect my child to be suspended if they behaved that way. Why should they get a free pass over race? Since when is it ok to do things like hit and throw chairs at school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP and PP--I don't see how suspending a preschooler is at all appropriate or helpful.

Then what is the alternative. Mom would be more pissed if they moved him to a class for kids with behavioral problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom was looking for attention to write a story. I'd be embarrassed to admit my child was behaving like that in school. If the child acted like that in school, he should be suspended, regardless of race. Mom need to focus on parenting and look at what is going on at home and school for them to behave that way. I would fully expect my child to be suspended if they behaved that way. Why should they get a free pass over race? Since when is it ok to do things like hit and throw chairs at school?

Well, if you were treated like some of these kids are, you would too. Their expectations of 3 and 4 yo's and the way they talk to/about them is fucked up. You "perfect" mommies need to STFU unless you've had a child in one of these schools.

[Anonymous]

I think this woman lives in Nebraska and the school is not a DCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom was looking for attention to write a story. I'd be embarrassed to admit my child was behaving like that in school. If the child acted like that in school, he should be suspended, regardless of race. Mom need to focus on parenting and look at what is going on at home and school for them to behave that way. I would fully expect my child to be suspended if they behaved that way. Why should they get a free pass over race? Since when is it ok to do things like hit and throw chairs at school?

Well, if you were treated like some of these kids are, you would too. Their expectations of 3 and 4 yo's and the way they talk to/about them is fucked up. You "perfect" mommies need to STFU unless you've had a child in one of these schools.

This mom who wrote the article is saying she is the perfect mom and its the schools fault. Everything is great at home. You aren't talking about a child in a bad situation. You are talking about two kids in a home with a professional mother who probably lives in a nicer area with a nicer home. No one is claiming to be perfect but I would fully expect a serious consequence or suspension if my child threw a chair at someone. Since when is that acceptable. Look at the behaviors these kids are exhibiting. Granted it would be better to require parenting classes for the parents and having the parent in the classroom as a better consequence for a mom like the writer but we don't have the funding nor is it a priority to look at why.

[Anonymous]

PP, you live in a sheltered world where bigotry doesn't exist. Hoe special for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP and PP--I don't see how suspending a preschooler is at all appropriate or helpful.

Then what is the alternative. Mom would be more pissed if they moved him to a class for kids with behavioral problems.

You can do interventions on children in a classroom setting. You don't have to move them. In situations where a child is exhibting difficult or extreme behaviors the parents, taechers and school support staff should convene for a SST meeting and create a behavioral plan for the kid and see if he needs different support systems (counseling? being tested for special education) The hard thing is that sometimes parents (paticuaraly in low SES backgrounds) are resistant to their child being labeled in any way even though having an IEP or 504 plan can do more to help a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, you live in a sheltered world where bigotry doesn't exist. Hoe special for you.

The mom did not say she was perfect, just that her son had not demonstrated those behaviors at home. Whether this is due to poor parenting or poor classroom management on the part of the teacher is anyone's guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with OP and PP--I don't see how suspending a preschooler is at all appropriate or helpful.

Then what is the alternative. Mom would be more pissed if they moved him to a class for kids with behavioral problems.

You can do interventions on children in a classroom setting. You don't have to move them. In situations where a child is exhibting difficult or extreme behaviors the parents, taechers and school support staff should convene for a SST meeting and create a behavioral plan for the kid and see if he needs different support systems (counseling? being tested for special education) The hard thing is that sometimes parents (paticuaraly in low SES backgrounds) are resistant to their child being labeled in any way even though having an IEP or 504 plan can do more to help a kid.

Do you want your kids in a classroom with a violent child who throws chairs.