Is "sugar" a thing in DMV upper class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:male 40s high income, 12yrs married, two kids. not much marital sex but otherwise nice marriage. i use sugar to satisfy a need and ease the resentment at home. i can be a good husband while getting my needs met in a NSA arrangement that has little chance of getting ugly (no real emotional entanglements) .. DW and I haven't discussed this but I think she may suspect this because she knows I have always been as horny as fkc at the same time I don't think we are technically DADT either. sugar is also much safer and less "eww" than going for the real pros (hookers, happy ending massages etc) .... plus in the DC area the sugar babies are generally collage girls (educated) and "interesting" outside of the few mins of sex.
'

Sure, you are a good husband.

And you are kidding yourself that you are almost not lying to your wife about this.

So sad that you are paying young women who will be ashamed for the rest of their lives that they had to stoop to servicing you for money.

This guy is definitely a bad husband, but I don't think the women have anything to be ashamed of. And, as I said above, based on my friends in college who did this, they are not losing sleep over it and it hasn't affected their lives. And they wouldn't have called it "stooping to service men for money" they would call it, "having the same sex they were going to have anyway."

Let’s see if you are right:

> do they list this on their resume?
> do they tell their parents?
> do they reveal this to any guys who they hope would marry them?

Why would you put all your sexual partners on your resume? That's normal, right?

I've never discussed ANY part of my sexual life with my parents, and I think that's normal.

Why would they tell guys they HAVE married? Why is it any of their business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a woman is at the stage of her life where she's going to be having casual sex and is more interested in fun experience than an actual relationship, why not do the sugar thing? I know girls in college who did it—not exclusively or for a career, but they were juniors or seniors, over the college boys and if some 45yo wants to take them to a fancy dinner or on his boat or to the mall and all he expects in return is for her to sleep with him, why not?

Without being crude or obnoxious, she was probably going to have sex with someone who didn't mean a lot to her that weekend, why not have sex with someone who doesn't mean a lot, but also paid her car payment?

None of them were prostitutes, none of them were being taken advantage of, all of them have settled into normal loving relationships—as do most women who go through "fun" eras in their love life in late college.

Who cares?

They were prostitutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a woman is at the stage of her life where she's going to be having casual sex and is more interested in fun experience than an actual relationship, why not do the sugar thing? I know girls in college who did it—not exclusively or for a career, but they were juniors or seniors, over the college boys and if some 45yo wants to take them to a fancy dinner or on his boat or to the mall and all he expects in return is for her to sleep with him, why not?

Without being crude or obnoxious, she was probably going to have sex with someone who didn't mean a lot to her that weekend, why not have sex with someone who doesn't mean a lot, but also paid her car payment?

None of them were prostitutes, none of them were being taken advantage of, all of them have settled into normal loving relationships—as do most women who go through "fun" eras in their love life in late college.

Who cares?

They were prostitutes.

No. they wre normal, happy, healthy college girls who went on dates with men who were generous.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone pretending this is not utterly degrading to women, let alone college students who are teenagers in some cases??!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone pretending this is not utterly degrading to women, let alone college students who are teenagers in some cases??!!

Well some people have real sticks in their butt about which is why the thread is going on so long.

It's only degrading if you think casual sex is degrading. It's just casual sex with a guy who buys you shoes instead of telling you to get your shit and get out before his roommate comes back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone pretending this is not utterly degrading to women, let alone college students who are teenagers in some cases??!!

Well some people have real sticks in their butt about which is why the thread is going on so long.

It's only degrading if you think casual sex is degrading. It's just casual sex with a guy who buys you shoes instead of telling you to get your shit and get out before his roommate comes back.

Casual sex is degrading actually, and not satisfying for most women. No wonder they prefer to get financial benefits if doing it. The difference between a prostitute and a non-prostitute is that men on these apps actually get women to do things they wouldn't have done without the financial part. Don't pretend it's the same.

Vanilla sex is a commodity, these men are spoilt by multiple beautiful partners, all kinds of life pleasures including narcotics. It's not pretty on that other side.

[Anonymous]

On sex positivity not being a thing in older generations - I had to laugh because it was very much a thing 20 years ago. There were plenty of us out there who were willing to be adventurous with a fun guy that we vibed with. I would have been extremely insulted by any sort of financial offer because it would have shifted the balance of power.

That said, emotionally avoidant guys were always a hard no for me even if there was strong chemistry. Thinking those guys are most likely to want sugar arrangements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I'd say half my friends (I'm male, in my 40s) do this, and that's just the ones who admit to it. We're all in the higher income level (entrepreneurs, finance, lawyers).

Are you one of them?

Where did you meet these friends? College? Grow up together? At work? I'm wondering what i the common denominator. I'm also in my 40s and higher income level (lawyers) and I don't know anyone doing this.
And what are the demographics of their wives? Equivalent education and income level to your friends? I just can't imagine in my social circles the wives not noticing a substantial financial outlay.

Some I've know for years, some more recent. Eveyone in my circle is college educated and usually a masters. Wives tend to be career types also.

When you have a high HHI, no one is noticing $1-2k every month. Besides, you usually have a bunch of different accounts and credit cards at that level. No one has time to dig through all that.

$1-2k a month? That’s it?!?

Remember college girls aren't doing it for a living. Your typical GW student (GW is #1 in the DC area in terms of % of undergrads who do this) has all her tuition and room and board covered by her parents. This is fun money to buy fancy clothes, and also just fun to go out with someone mature and wealthy.

Umm just get a real job, then. You can’t find a job that will pay you $250 a week? Willing to lose your dignity and have sex with an old guy... eww. I was poor in college and worked my way through an Ivy. No way would I consider $1-2k a month to have sex with a guy in his 40s. No one I knew would have done it either. Just yuck.

There are entire websites with thousands of young women willing to "Lose their dignity" for $$. What the sugar baby trend and the OnlyFans trend show is that many young women are willing to trade their sexuality for $$. They have grown up in an era where casual sex "hooking up culture", kink and the like is acceptable. LGBT lifestyles even polyamory are seen as acceptable expressions of one's gender/sexuality. Sex workers are acceptable and should not be stigmatized. Porn is ubiquitous. Given these trends, it is not surprise that many young women are willing to be sugar babies.
Your "yuck" reactions sounds like something from the 20th century. I'm not saying your wrong, maybe society would be better off with 20th century attitudes towards sex.
A question for the pp who said "yuck", why is one's dignity lost if they have freely choose to have sex for money?

No mentally healthy woman with good self esteem and a promising future would do this.

Not one.

Trading sex for money reduces women to their cavities, and makes them commodities. The man with power and money rents the most private parts of her body. Sad and twisted.

What if a woman enjoys having her cavities be commodities? Especially if its only with men they wouldn’t mind sleeping with anyways? Not all women think alike.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On sex positivity not being a thing in older generations - I had to laugh because it was very much a thing 20 years ago. There were plenty of us out there who were willing to be adventurous with a fun guy that we vibed with. I would have been extremely insulted by any sort of financial offer because it would have shifted the balance of power.

That said, emotionally avoidant guys were always a hard no for me even if there was strong chemistry. Thinking those guys are most likely to want sugar arrangements.

Same here: I can be a slut, a whore, a c...m dump or whichever a man wants in a relationship (except for threesomes), but having a financial arrangement and knowing he has other girls on other days, and f...ks all of us on a paid basis is just beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I'd say half my friends (I'm male, in my 40s) do this, and that's just the ones who admit to it. We're all in the higher income level (entrepreneurs, finance, lawyers).

Are you one of them?

Where did you meet these friends? College? Grow up together? At work? I'm wondering what i the common denominator. I'm also in my 40s and higher income level (lawyers) and I don't know anyone doing this.
And what are the demographics of their wives? Equivalent education and income level to your friends? I just can't imagine in my social circles the wives not noticing a substantial financial outlay.

Some I've know for years, some more recent. Eveyone in my circle is college educated and usually a masters. Wives tend to be career types also.

When you have a high HHI, no one is noticing $1-2k every month. Besides, you usually have a bunch of different accounts and credit cards at that level. No one has time to dig through all that.

$1-2k a month? That’s it?!?

Remember college girls aren't doing it for a living. Your typical GW student (GW is #1 in the DC area in terms of % of undergrads who do this) has all her tuition and room and board covered by her parents. This is fun money to buy fancy clothes, and also just fun to go out with someone mature and wealthy.

Umm just get a real job, then. You can’t find a job that will pay you $250 a week? Willing to lose your dignity and have sex with an old guy... eww. I was poor in college and worked my way through an Ivy. No way would I consider $1-2k a month to have sex with a guy in his 40s. No one I knew would have done it either. Just yuck.

There are entire websites with thousands of young women willing to "Lose their dignity" for $$. What the sugar baby trend and the OnlyFans trend show is that many young women are willing to trade their sexuality for $$. They have grown up in an era where casual sex "hooking up culture", kink and the like is acceptable. LGBT lifestyles even polyamory are seen as acceptable expressions of one's gender/sexuality. Sex workers are acceptable and should not be stigmatized. Porn is ubiquitous. Given these trends, it is not surprise that many young women are willing to be sugar babies.
Your "yuck" reactions sounds like something from the 20th century. I'm not saying your wrong, maybe society would be better off with 20th century attitudes towards sex.
A question for the pp who said "yuck", why is one's dignity lost if they have freely choose to have sex for money?

No mentally healthy woman with good self esteem and a promising future would do this.

Not one.

Trading sex for money reduces women to their cavities, and makes them commodities. The man with power and money rents the most private parts of her body. Sad and twisted.

What if a woman enjoys having her cavities be commodities? Especially if its only with men they wouldn’t mind sleeping with anyways? Not all women think alike.

You are delusional they would sleep with you anyway. A number of men available to me in my 40s while I make $400k/year myself is beyond reasonable. I would tell them what I would be for them and how I want them to use me: a Daddy's baby, a whore, a c..m dump etc. These would be hot men relationship oriented who would want to use me exclusively, and for an extended period of time. We would travel together, yes split expenses but I wouldn't give any personal or body freedoms to him. For example, he won't pee on me, or put in chocolate starfish. He would know how I prefer to be "used" as his and only his slut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a woman is at the stage of her life where she's going to be having casual sex and is more interested in fun experience than an actual relationship, why not do the sugar thing? I know girls in college who did it—not exclusively or for a career, but they were juniors or seniors, over the college boys and if some 45yo wants to take them to a fancy dinner or on his boat or to the mall and all he expects in return is for her to sleep with him, why not?

Without being crude or obnoxious, she was probably going to have sex with someone who didn't mean a lot to her that weekend, why not have sex with someone who doesn't mean a lot, but also paid her car payment?

None of them were prostitutes, none of them were being taken advantage of, all of them have settled into normal loving relationships—as do most women who go through "fun" eras in their love life in late college.

Who cares?

This is the exact definition of prostitution.

I am pro-sex work, so no judgement at all, but let's call it what it is.

I guess. But none of them accepted cash. None of them did anything they weren't going to do that night/weekend, they just did it in a nicer place and walked away with a nice gift or clothes or whatever. If they had met a guy at a frat party and had sex with him and woke up the next morning, and he said "I had such a great time let me drive you to the mall and I want you to pick out any pair of shoes you want and we'll have a nice lunch before I drop you at home!" You might think it's a little odd, but you'd more likely think he was just a generous guy who maybe spends a little too freely and maybe equates money with affection, etc. etc. But you wouldn't say she was turning a trick.

But if that same girl meets a 44yo guy, has sex with him and then goes to the mall where he gives her a nice gift, takes her to a nice lunch and drives her home... it's prostitution?

It's both meaningless sex that could be fun, or maybe boring, but in one instance there's a nice gift and in the other there's almost certainly not, because frat guys just want to bang, not be generous.

Yes. Do you not understand that payment for sex = prostitution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:male 40s high income, 12yrs married, two kids. not much marital sex but otherwise nice marriage. i use sugar to satisfy a need and ease the resentment at home. i can be a good husband while getting my needs met in a NSA arrangement that has little chance of getting ugly (no real emotional entanglements) .. DW and I haven't discussed this but I think she may suspect this because she knows I have always been as horny as fkc at the same time I don't think we are technically DADT either. sugar is also much safer and less "eww" than going for the real pros (hookers, happy ending massages etc) .... plus in the DC area the sugar babies are generally collage girls (educated) and "interesting" outside of the few mins of sex.
'

Sure, you are a good husband.

And you are kidding yourself that you are almost not lying to your wife about this.

So sad that you are paying young women who will be ashamed for the rest of their lives that they had to stoop to servicing you for money.

This guy is definitely a bad husband, but I don't think the women have anything to be ashamed of. And, as I said above, based on my friends in college who did this, they are not losing sleep over it and it hasn't affected their lives. And they wouldn't have called it "stooping to service men for money" they would call it, "having the same sex they were going to have anyway."

Let’s see if you are right:

> do they list this on their resume?
> do they tell their parents?
> do they reveal this to any guys who they hope would marry them?

Why would you put all your sexual partners on your resume? That's normal, right?

I've never discussed ANY part of my sexual life with my parents, and I think that's normal.

Why would they tell guys they HAVE married? Why is it any of their business?

You know this s..t tends to come out at some point. Which is why many girls have their faces hidden on seeking. And why they have private photos section

I wouldn’t sleep with any man who uses hookers or these sites . There are many healthy, confident and relationship oriented men available to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:male 40s high income, 12yrs married, two kids. not much marital sex but otherwise nice marriage. i use sugar to satisfy a need and ease the resentment at home. i can be a good husband while getting my needs met in a NSA arrangement that has little chance of getting ugly (no real emotional entanglements) .. DW and I haven't discussed this but I think she may suspect this because she knows I have always been as horny as fkc at the same time I don't think we are technically DADT either. sugar is also much safer and less "eww" than going for the real pros (hookers, happy ending massages etc) .... plus in the DC area the sugar babies are generally collage girls (educated) and "interesting" outside of the few mins of sex.
'

Sure, you are a good husband.

And you are kidding yourself that you are almost not lying to your wife about this.

So sad that you are paying young women who will be ashamed for the rest of their lives that they had to stoop to servicing you for money.

This guy is definitely a bad husband, but I don't think the women have anything to be ashamed of. And, as I said above, based on my friends in college who did this, they are not losing sleep over it and it hasn't affected their lives. And they wouldn't have called it "stooping to service men for money" they would call it, "having the same sex they were going to have anyway."

Let’s see if you are right:

> do they list this on their resume?
> do they tell their parents?
> do they reveal this to any guys who they hope would marry them?

Why would you put all your sexual partners on your resume? That's normal, right?

I've never discussed ANY part of my sexual life with my parents, and I think that's normal.

Why would they tell guys they HAVE married? Why is it any of their business?

You know this s..t tends to come out at some point. Which is why many girls have their faces hidden on seeking. And why they have private photos section

I wouldn’t sleep with any man who uses hookers or these sites . There are many healthy, confident and relationship oriented men available to me

Considering how gross the dudes posting on this thread are, that is a wise decision.

[Anonymous]

By your definition if a women places weight in a man’s wealth who she married, she is a prostitute?

In my experience, if a man is clearly wealthy, women swarm him and look to him as a marriage partner…an average looking guy who is loaded becomes hot!

Are these women prostitutes?

quote=Anonymous]Why the discomfort with calling it prostitution? It's money for sex. You can be a banker AND a prostitute. If you're paying someone who would not otherwise have sex with you to have sex with you, that is what's happening. Why not own it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By your definition if a women places weight in a man’s wealth who she married, she is a prostitute?

In my experience, if a man is clearly wealthy, women swarm him and look to him as a marriage partner…an average looking guy who is loaded becomes hot!

Are these women prostitutes?

quote=Anonymous]Why the discomfort with calling it prostitution? It's money for sex. You can be a banker AND a prostitute. If you're paying someone who would not otherwise have sex with you to have sex with you, that is what's happening. Why not own it?

Do you not understand that a woman birthing children for a man and satisfying his daily needs contributes to the relationship on a different level than girls on seeking? That a good wife is a friend, a life partner and someone who takes risks with her career, health, etc for the husband. Too bad you don’t get it. Women place weight to men’s ability to provide because they are the spouses who put their lives on the back burner to grow up kids. 40% women in the US are breadwinners

Most of these girls on seeking just look for casual and want zero investment in these men beyond the paid nice dates.

I dated a very rich hedge fund manager who was single because of his unusual kink whole life. Couldn’t find a long term partner who would stay in it resorting to these girls. I can’t tell his wealth was what brought us together, but rather the kink. And his kink eventually brought us apart, too. He was used to paying for sec but out of his unusual needs.