Where do "B" average Big-3 students go to college?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Well, my 3.2 gpa "big 3" DD just outright rejected from CU Boulder. I am flabbergasted. This is the most messed up college admissions cycle we have experienced yet. What a mess.

I'm so sorry. This must be stressful. Did DD submit SAT or ACT scores? I do wonder if at these large schools it's harder for Big-3 students to complete bc of the lack of grade inflation, and so students need to submit standardized test scores. Did DD apply to any schools early?

She did submit. It was not a high ACT, but was above the 50th% range, so counselor said definitely submit. It's all about GPA now that TO is the norm. With so much grade inflation everywhere else, anything lower than a 3.7, no matter the school, is automatically out at large universities. I wish my kids had never attended the school they did. Not just because of college acceptances, but because they never felt anything other than like they were the stupid kids and end their senior year feeling ilke failures because the majority of their classmates are attending top 30 colleges and universities. I wish they had just had normal childhoods, surrounded by normal people who don't judge based on college matriculation.

yikes - $160k on hs to come out feeling like the stupid kid - empathize with you and totally agree that it was a mistake - hard pass on the private route for me.

I was weak and let my husband and his family force this. I fought for years to get them out, but couldn't win. The only option was to divorce and that seemed extreme. Honestly, I wish I had and had hired a lawyer to win the fight. You are making the right choice. It was an absolutely horrible experience and I live with regret everyday that we don't get a do-over for my poor kids.

Try not to look at private school as having failed your child: your child will probably be more prepared for his/her first year of college than others. My DS is rocking his first year of college, because he is prepared.

It’s fine to assume your kid will be well prepared, but don’t assume they’ll be “more” prepared than others. My public school DS with his “fake” high school GPA is crushing it as a premed chemistry major in his top 5 SLAC and his roommate is a public school kid from Indiana who basically carried their entire friend group through organic chemistry, and the international students from Asian countries are settling the bar for all of them. And doing this while balancing work study jobs.

I’m not denying the quality of a private school education but it’s the height of arrogance to think that public school kids at top colleges and universities aren’t going to be equally well prepared.

Also don’t assume top publics grade inflate or are easy. We are at a top public in New England, an A in an AP is hard to come by, and the B+ students face an uphill battle with admissions despite high test scores. I am convinced if my kids went to the less competitive public in a nearby town; they would have 4.0 and get into college easily.

NP. I agree with you, 100%

What I don't quite understand is the reliance on grades being so extra-heavy even when scores are present. High GPA plus no score >>> "Low" GPA plus high score. The treatment of GPA as if it's standardized (regardless of what is said to the contrary about context) is bizarre, but that seems to be the current situation.

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

OMG the persecution mentality.

Nothing is stopping you from sending your kid to some “bad” public school.

Well, when people made the decision to buy a house somewhere with a top school system or to commit to a top private school, they figured it would be helpful in terms of taking the kid to the next level of educational attainment. They didn’t realize it would be the equivalent of an educational curse. So the parents who actually didn’t really care about education and plopped their kids in a mediocre school system are the ones whose kids are getting the better opportunities with their fake 4.0s. Seems unfair.

Translation: you played the game the best way you could. Someone else played the game the best way they could. You thought you would win and your style of play was better, but you lost. And because you never thought you could lose it seems unfair.

I don’t know, it’s like a grade in AP AB Calc being considered equivalent to BC Calc. If you can’t identify the unfairness in this, I don’t know what to say.

You have been in your bubble too long. You assume that the parents of students in mediocre schools don’t care about education. Only parents who can afford a house in a neighborhood in a top school system or the tuition at a top private school really care about education, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my 3.2 gpa "big 3" DD just outright rejected from CU Boulder. I am flabbergasted. This is the most messed up college admissions cycle we have experienced yet. What a mess.

I'm so sorry. This must be stressful. Did DD submit SAT or ACT scores? I do wonder if at these large schools it's harder for Big-3 students to complete bc of the lack of grade inflation, and so students need to submit standardized test scores. Did DD apply to any schools early?

She did submit. It was not a high ACT, but was above the 50th% range, so counselor said definitely submit. It's all about GPA now that TO is the norm. With so much grade inflation everywhere else, anything lower than a 3.7, no matter the school, is automatically out at large universities. I wish my kids had never attended the school they did. Not just because of college acceptances, but because they never felt anything other than like they were the stupid kids and end their senior year feeling ilke failures because the majority of their classmates are attending top 30 colleges and universities. I wish they had just had normal childhoods, surrounded by normal people who don't judge based on college matriculation.

yikes - $160k on hs to come out feeling like the stupid kid - empathize with you and totally agree that it was a mistake - hard pass on the private route for me.

I was weak and let my husband and his family force this. I fought for years to get them out, but couldn't win. The only option was to divorce and that seemed extreme. Honestly, I wish I had and had hired a lawyer to win the fight. You are making the right choice. It was an absolutely horrible experience and I live with regret everyday that we don't get a do-over for my poor kids.

Try not to look at private school as having failed your child: your child will probably be more prepared for his/her first year of college than others. My DS is rocking his first year of college, because he is prepared.

It’s fine to assume your kid will be well prepared, but don’t assume they’ll be “more” prepared than others. My public school DS with his “fake” high school GPA is crushing it as a premed chemistry major in his top 5 SLAC and his roommate is a public school kid from Indiana who basically carried their entire friend group through organic chemistry, and the international students from Asian countries are settling the bar for all of them. And doing this while balancing work study jobs.

I’m not denying the quality of a private school education but it’s the height of arrogance to think that public school kids at top colleges and universities aren’t going to be equally well prepared.

Also don’t assume top publics grade inflate or are easy. We are at a top public in New England, an A in an AP is hard to come by, and the B+ students face an uphill battle with admissions despite high test scores. I am convinced if my kids went to the less competitive public in a nearby town; they would have 4.0 and get into college easily.

NP. I agree with you, 100%

What I don't quite understand is the reliance on grades being so extra-heavy even when scores are present. High GPA plus no score >>> "Low" GPA plus high score. The treatment of GPA as if it's standardized (regardless of what is said to the contrary about context) is bizarre, but that seems to be the current situation.

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

OMG the persecution mentality.

Nothing is stopping you from sending your kid to some “bad” public school.

Well, when people made the decision to buy a house somewhere with a top school system or to commit to a top private school, they figured it would be helpful in terms of taking the kid to the next level of educational attainment. They didn’t realize it would be the equivalent of an educational curse. So the parents who actually didn’t really care about education and plopped their kids in a mediocre school system are the ones whose kids are getting the better opportunities with their fake 4.0s. Seems unfair.

Translation: you played the game the best way you could. Someone else played the game the best way they could. You thought you would win and your style of play was better, but you lost. And because you never thought you could lose it seems unfair.

I don’t know, it’s like a grade in AP AB Calc being considered equivalent to BC Calc. If you can’t identify the unfairness in this, I don’t know what to say.

Being born on third base is somehow unfair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know why people are so dubious of my story. I won't share the sport or school because I am very paranoid about posting on here. It is not football or basketball, but is a very popular sport--not track--that lots of kids play around here. The coach was fairly familiar with our private and said, yeah, these grades are a little low, but admissions understands the rigor, it should be fine. The coach texted my kid on June 28 and said something along the lines of, can't wait to call you on Friday! (which was July 1). Friday came and went with no call, so we knew there was a problem. Monday was a holiday. Coach called at 8 am on Tuesday, July 6, and said they worked all weekend to try to convince admissions but they said, no way. Kid then spent the summer weighing a D3 offer at a lower ranked school that he really liked with the D1 offer he had had since January. The D1 school has a much higher academic reputation, but was just never the kid's first choice and he was never really intent on playing D1 because of academic concerns and wanting to play but also enjoy college. He is very good at his sport. Not top D1, but top NESCAC and lower D1 level. I hope these details will convince you all that I am not making it up. A 3.2 from a rigorous DC private was not enough to get a top NESCAC recruit past the pre-read.

I totally believe this parent. We were on a recruiting webinar with men's lax coaches from Williams, Swarthmore & Wesleyan and Tufts. The Williams coach was brutally honest explaining it doesn't matter how amazing you are on the field, if you don't have the grades, you won't get past the pre-read. He said they turn away great players all the time because NESCAC schools prioritize academics over athletics. He said we take the "student" in "student athlete" very seriously. It stinks and I'm sorry for your son, but getting the pre-read at least gave him a chance to shift gears and re-consider his options. The coaches all encouraged the kids to think about life beyond lacrosse and to make the best choice based on their life goals. Best of luck to your son.

I'm a little surprised that a parent of a kid at a rigorous DC private thought that a 3.2 was sufficient to get past the pre-read. When my DD was a sophomore but playing on a club team comprised mostly of juniors b/c of birth date attended a lot of team meet and greets with coaches. They were all quite clear that they wanted top student-athletes not athletes. One of her team members tried to make an argument that her curriculum was more rigorous so that should count for something with her GPA. Yeah, the coach let her know that meant nothing to him.

Cool anecdote. This was not that case. Both coach and school college counselor--plus data from Naviance--showed the GPA in the lower end of the range. Again, if you don't have a kid at one of these schools and don't have access to the data, you really don't know what you're talking about. Thanks though. Cool story.

LOL, I do have a kid at one of those schools. In fact, DC in top quadrant with 3.9 UW and 36 ACT in one sit. Elected not to pursue college athletics b/c of possible major. Lower end stats = on the fence and that’s how it played out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know why people are so dubious of my story. I won't share the sport or school because I am very paranoid about posting on here. It is not football or basketball, but is a very popular sport--not track--that lots of kids play around here. The coach was fairly familiar with our private and said, yeah, these grades are a little low, but admissions understands the rigor, it should be fine. The coach texted my kid on June 28 and said something along the lines of, can't wait to call you on Friday! (which was July 1). Friday came and went with no call, so we knew there was a problem. Monday was a holiday. Coach called at 8 am on Tuesday, July 6, and said they worked all weekend to try to convince admissions but they said, no way. Kid then spent the summer weighing a D3 offer at a lower ranked school that he really liked with the D1 offer he had had since January. The D1 school has a much higher academic reputation, but was just never the kid's first choice and he was never really intent on playing D1 because of academic concerns and wanting to play but also enjoy college. He is very good at his sport. Not top D1, but top NESCAC and lower D1 level. I hope these details will convince you all that I am not making it up. A 3.2 from a rigorous DC private was not enough to get a top NESCAC recruit past the pre-read.

I totally believe this parent. We were on a recruiting webinar with men's lax coaches from Williams, Swarthmore & Wesleyan and Tufts. The Williams coach was brutally honest explaining it doesn't matter how amazing you are on the field, if you don't have the grades, you won't get past the pre-read. He said they turn away great players all the time because NESCAC schools prioritize academics over athletics. He said we take the "student" in "student athlete" very seriously. It stinks and I'm sorry for your son, but getting the pre-read at least gave him a chance to shift gears and re-consider his options. The coaches all encouraged the kids to think about life beyond lacrosse and to make the best choice based on their life goals. Best of luck to your son.

I'm a little surprised that a parent of a kid at a rigorous DC private thought that a 3.2 was sufficient to get past the pre-read. When my DD was a sophomore but playing on a club team comprised mostly of juniors b/c of birth date attended a lot of team meet and greets with coaches. They were all quite clear that they wanted top student-athletes not athletes. One of her team members tried to make an argument that her curriculum was more rigorous so that should count for something with her GPA. Yeah, the coach let her know that meant nothing to him.

Cool anecdote. This was not that case. Both coach and school college counselor--plus data from Naviance--showed the GPA in the lower end of the range. Again, if you don't have a kid at one of these schools and don't have access to the data, you really don't know what you're talking about. Thanks though. Cool story.

LOL, I do have a kid at one of those schools. In fact, DC in top quadrant with 3.9 UW and 36 ACT in one sit. Elected not to pursue college athletics b/c of possible major. Lower end stats = on the fence and that’s how it played out.

You sound horrific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

Aww I feel so bad that you can’t buy your way through life anymore.

How terrible of them to spend their earned money on a well rounded education and how awful they send their kids to a rigorous school where god forbid they learn good work ethic and study habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

Aww I feel so bad that you can’t buy your way through life anymore.

How terrible of them to spend their earned money on a well rounded education and how awful they send their kids to a rigorous school where god forbid they learn good work ethic and study habits.

The colleges are admitted the students, not the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Here’s where I see the biggest predictor of future success: making your kids get a d*** job. Too many private kids sit at home in the summer “studying” while their public counterparts have to hustle with 3 jobs. Teaches work ethic, multitasking, money management, self-motivation. College admissions people aren’t dumb, and they know who is set up well to succeed.

A friend’s son worked at a pizza restaurant starting middle school and until graduation. He worked quite a bit of hours, diligently, saving his income. Meanwhile he was getting As in his public even though he didn’t have a lot of time for homework. He saved like twenty thousand of dollars by the time he graduated and his work ethic was impressive. He got a very big scholarship, almost full rid, to go to a local college because of his high GPA and test scores.

Anyway, he dropped out of the first year because he didn’t have the study habits and college was hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, my 3.2 gpa "big 3" DD just outright rejected from CU Boulder. I am flabbergasted. This is the most messed up college admissions cycle we have experienced yet. What a mess.

I'm so sorry. This must be stressful. Did DD submit SAT or ACT scores? I do wonder if at these large schools it's harder for Big-3 students to complete bc of the lack of grade inflation, and so students need to submit standardized test scores. Did DD apply to any schools early?

She did submit. It was not a high ACT, but was above the 50th% range, so counselor said definitely submit. It's all about GPA now that TO is the norm. With so much grade inflation everywhere else, anything lower than a 3.7, no matter the school, is automatically out at large universities. I wish my kids had never attended the school they did. Not just because of college acceptances, but because they never felt anything other than like they were the stupid kids and end their senior year feeling ilke failures because the majority of their classmates are attending top 30 colleges and universities. I wish they had just had normal childhoods, surrounded by normal people who don't judge based on college matriculation.

yikes - $160k on hs to come out feeling like the stupid kid - empathize with you and totally agree that it was a mistake - hard pass on the private route for me.

I was weak and let my husband and his family force this. I fought for years to get them out, but couldn't win. The only option was to divorce and that seemed extreme. Honestly, I wish I had and had hired a lawyer to win the fight. You are making the right choice. It was an absolutely horrible experience and I live with regret everyday that we don't get a do-over for my poor kids.

Try not to look at private school as having failed your child: your child will probably be more prepared for his/her first year of college than others. My DS is rocking his first year of college, because he is prepared.

It’s fine to assume your kid will be well prepared, but don’t assume they’ll be “more” prepared than others. My public school DS with his “fake” high school GPA is crushing it as a premed chemistry major in his top 5 SLAC and his roommate is a public school kid from Indiana who basically carried their entire friend group through organic chemistry, and the international students from Asian countries are settling the bar for all of them. And doing this while balancing work study jobs.

I’m not denying the quality of a private school education but it’s the height of arrogance to think that public school kids at top colleges and universities aren’t going to be equally well prepared.

Also don’t assume top publics grade inflate or are easy. We are at a top public in New England, an A in an AP is hard to come by, and the B+ students face an uphill battle with admissions despite high test scores. I am convinced if my kids went to the less competitive public in a nearby town; they would have 4.0 and get into college easily.

NP. I agree with you, 100%

What I don't quite understand is the reliance on grades being so extra-heavy even when scores are present. High GPA plus no score >>> "Low" GPA plus high score. The treatment of GPA as if it's standardized (regardless of what is said to the contrary about context) is bizarre, but that seems to be the current situation.

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

OMG the persecution mentality.

Nothing is stopping you from sending your kid to some “bad” public school.

Well, when people made the decision to buy a house somewhere with a top school system or to commit to a top private school, they figured it would be helpful in terms of taking the kid to the next level of educational attainment. They didn’t realize it would be the equivalent of an educational curse. So the parents who actually didn’t really care about education and plopped their kids in a mediocre school system are the ones whose kids are getting the better opportunities with their fake 4.0s. Seems unfair.

To whom much is given, much is expected.

"Given?" I think the word is "earned." But keep living off of other people's handouts and unfair advantages because of "the system."

This is an expression. It's something old money WASP types would tell their kids back in the day. Like a more modern version of "noblesse oblige."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

Aww I feel so bad that you can’t buy your way through life anymore.

How terrible of them to spend their earned money on a well rounded education and how awful they send their kids to a rigorous school where god forbid they learn good work ethic and study habits.

Look, Larla had an amazing playdate and got into SFS in kindergarten and mom and dad paid for 13 years there. Surely that means she deserves to go to any college she chooses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

Aww I feel so bad that you can’t buy your way through life anymore.

How terrible of them to spend their earned money on a well rounded education and how awful they send their kids to a rigorous school where god forbid they learn good work ethic and study habits.

Look, Larla had an amazing playdate and got into SFS in kindergarten and mom and dad paid for 13 years there. Surely that means she deserves to go to any college she chooses?

+1. Just because you and your three year old outcompeted 80 other people for a spot in GDS’ prek does not mean that your child is entitled to anything. I read a quote a while ago that went something like “Yale realized it could do better than the bottom of third of the class at St. Paul’s.” And it’s true! And while we are on this topic, the craziness around admissions from parents makes kids think they are failures if they can’t get into a very selective college and that’s way more destructive than getting into a less selective college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know why people are so dubious of my story. I won't share the sport or school because I am very paranoid about posting on here. It is not football or basketball, but is a very popular sport--not track--that lots of kids play around here. The coach was fairly familiar with our private and said, yeah, these grades are a little low, but admissions understands the rigor, it should be fine. The coach texted my kid on June 28 and said something along the lines of, can't wait to call you on Friday! (which was July 1). Friday came and went with no call, so we knew there was a problem. Monday was a holiday. Coach called at 8 am on Tuesday, July 6, and said they worked all weekend to try to convince admissions but they said, no way. Kid then spent the summer weighing a D3 offer at a lower ranked school that he really liked with the D1 offer he had had since January. The D1 school has a much higher academic reputation, but was just never the kid's first choice and he was never really intent on playing D1 because of academic concerns and wanting to play but also enjoy college. He is very good at his sport. Not top D1, but top NESCAC and lower D1 level. I hope these details will convince you all that I am not making it up. A 3.2 from a rigorous DC private was not enough to get a top NESCAC recruit past the pre-read.

I totally believe this parent. We were on a recruiting webinar with men's lax coaches from Williams, Swarthmore & Wesleyan and Tufts. The Williams coach was brutally honest explaining it doesn't matter how amazing you are on the field, if you don't have the grades, you won't get past the pre-read. He said they turn away great players all the time because NESCAC schools prioritize academics over athletics. He said we take the "student" in "student athlete" very seriously. It stinks and I'm sorry for your son, but getting the pre-read at least gave him a chance to shift gears and re-consider his options. The coaches all encouraged the kids to think about life beyond lacrosse and to make the best choice based on their life goals. Best of luck to your son.

I'm a little surprised that a parent of a kid at a rigorous DC private thought that a 3.2 was sufficient to get past the pre-read. When my DD was a sophomore but playing on a club team comprised mostly of juniors b/c of birth date attended a lot of team meet and greets with coaches. They were all quite clear that they wanted top student-athletes not athletes. One of her team members tried to make an argument that her curriculum was more rigorous so that should count for something with her GPA. Yeah, the coach let her know that meant nothing to him.

Cool anecdote. This was not that case. Both coach and school college counselor--plus data from Naviance--showed the GPA in the lower end of the range. Again, if you don't have a kid at one of these schools and don't have access to the data, you really don't know what you're talking about. Thanks though. Cool story.

LOL, I do have a kid at one of those schools. In fact, DC in top quadrant with 3.9 UW and 36 ACT in one sit. Elected not to pursue college athletics b/c of possible major. Lower end stats = on the fence and that’s how it played out.

You sound horrific.

How is that horrific? The person claims I don't have a kid at one of those schools. I do and stated it. One PP explained that the Williams coach clearly stated that grades matter.

I don't see how this is any different than a non-recruit kid who is interested in a school, but grades/scores are in the lower end of the scale. Simply because the school has admitted kids in that range doesn't guarantee that that applicant will be admitted.

[Anonymous]

Anyone knows why this thread was reported as “classist”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The losers in all this are the kids whose parents deliberately put them in a challenging rigorous school so they can develop intellectually. These are the very kids being weeded out… To an extent this is part of the war against “privilege”- the only rigorous schools are elite privates and publics in very affluent towns.

Aww I feel so bad that you can’t buy your way through life anymore.

How terrible of them to spend their earned money on a well rounded education and how awful they send their kids to a rigorous school where god forbid they learn good work ethic and study habits.

Look, Larla had an amazing playdate and got into SFS in kindergarten and mom and dad paid for 13 years there. Surely that means she deserves to go to any college she chooses?

Not really. Larla's parents paid for a private school where Larla received a better education because the teachers were better and the academic bar was higher. She developed work ethic and study skills to succeed in a rigorous environment.

[Anonymous]

Damn. If Larla went to SFS she can write her own ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone knows why this thread was reported as “classist”?

I dunno, maybe parents saying that because they bought houses in “top” school districts, their kids should be “rewarded” as inherently more “deserving”?