Was accidentally on a group text...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say nothing. She knows you know. The others have signaled their disapproval by not chiming in. I think your best move is to stay above this mess and begin a new thread without her next time you invite the group over. She was unkind and inappropriate and now everyone knows that.

You are making assumptions. There may have been a spin off thread without OP in it. I think the silence speaks volumes in communication their agreement.

PP is either being willfully obtuse or is naive. There is no way that a woman would have texted that without any context or history. The others didn’t chime in because they were deer in headlights having been caught in such an embarrassing flub. I’m glad they took the time to side text OP separately but this is no indication that they “didn’t approve”. They’re saving face because they got caught.

See, I view this ^ as making a lot of assumptions. Assuming a conspiracy, assuming everyone is “in on it,” assuming they all feel guilty, assuming all this “context and history.” There are some overheated and paranoid imaginations on here. Texter was out of line and screwed up, and the others are not joining in. Those are the facts. Anything else — assuming the worst as you are doing, or assuming the best as I am doing — is speculation. My advice: Assume the best for your own sake and let the texter hang. You will look better and you will not feed the drama. But I guess that isn’t the DCUM way.

The others are not joining in because OP was in on the freaking text!! Not because they are suddenly taking some moral high ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

[Anonymous]

Have someone else respond back saying “Did you know that Larlos mom is on this list?” Her jaw will drop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

DP.

It does not get more primitive than wrestling. What's "imaginative" and "curious" about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

Are you for real? You literally wrote that you always felt their kids were "boring, incurious, and unimaginative". How is that not being judgmental?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

Thats not judgement. Judgement would be saying they were bad or inferior because they were boring.

Calling a boring person boring is just describing them. Saying they are "less than" because of it is judgement. I specifically went out of my way to shrug it off as "each person is unique". There's nothing wrong with boring people. But they are still boring. So not judging, just describing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

DP.

It does not get more primitive than wrestling. What's "imaginative" and "curious" about that?

Spare me the eye roll. The wrestling falls under "spirited"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

Thats not judgement. Judgement would be saying they were bad or inferior because they were boring.

Calling a boring person boring is just describing them. Saying they are "less than" because of it is judgement. I specifically went out of my way to shrug it off as "each person is unique". There's nothing wrong with boring people. But they are still boring. So not judging, just describing.

Great, so then the texting lady was just describing the kid when she said he was loud and there’s no need for this crazy thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

Thats not judgement. Judgement would be saying they were bad or inferior because they were boring.

Calling a boring person boring is just describing them. Saying they are "less than" because of it is judgement. I specifically went out of my way to shrug it off as "each person is unique". There's nothing wrong with boring people. But they are still boring. So not judging, just describing.

Great, so then the texting lady was just describing the kid when she said he was loud and there’s no need for this crazy thread!

Well, no. Because she suggested they need wine and advil; that the spirited child causes headaches. That was the judgement. Calling a child spirit or hyper when they are hyper is fine. Suggesting you need to medicate cause of it is the judgement.

Calling a boring child boring is fine. But saying, a boring child is less preferable than a spirited child is the judgement.

Likewise, calling a spirited child child spirited is fine. But saying a spirited child is less preferable than the boring child is the judgement (which is what the texter did.)

Its nuance, but its important

[Anonymous]

I think most relevant is whether the poster knew you were on the thread. If they truly forgot, you can ignore. And you are being the bigger person by giving it a pass. The poster is entitled to feel any way she wants towards your child. And voice an opinion. That is an ordinary thing. But it's on her to know her audience. And her comments wouldn't be well received if the audience didn't agree in some way.

If the poster absolutely knew you were on the thread, you have to say something. And whatever you say is fine. She started it. You could strongly defend your son.

At a minimum you could say, "Susie, I'm going to assume you would not have posted this, since it's hurtful, if you remembered I was on this thread."

And then move on.

[Anonymous]

Pro tip: If the thread has gone to 26 pages the OP has probably updated in that time. Read the thread if you are going to give advice.

The OP replied to the text lady ages ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

DP.

It does not get more primitive than wrestling. What's "imaginative" and "curious" about that?

Spare me the eye roll. The wrestling falls under "spirited"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something similar happened to me years ago. At a party, I overheard parents talking about my kid is too hyper and out of control.

To be honest, I always felt their kids were boring, incurious, and unimaginative, but each person is unique. I chalked it up to them not being used to having a spirited, curious child.

But after hearing that comment, I would start making low-key references to my children's superior imaginative play and curiosity to the other Dads at the party (I'm a dude)

Things like "DS is so into dinosaurs. He spent hours digging for dinosaur bones yesterday in the yard yesterday. You guys are lucky your kids don't want to get dirty"

Oh, good grief.

I posted that. I literally said in my post "each person is unique".

I never judged their kids for preferring to color over wrestling, or preferring to read a book the explore the woods. Like i said, each kid is unique. But if you bash my kid for preferring to play barefoot (always taking his shoes off in the grass), then trust me, your kid preferring to sit on mom's lap is definitely fair game

You thought their kids were boring, incurious and unimaginative. That’s pretty judge-y!

Thats not judgement. Judgement would be saying they were bad or inferior because they were boring.

Calling a boring person boring is just describing them. Saying they are "less than" because of it is judgement. I specifically went out of my way to shrug it off as "each person is unique". There's nothing wrong with boring people. But they are still boring. So not judging, just describing.

DP.

There is something wrong with your kind of "spirited" people who think they are entitled to creating noise and chaos for everyone. If you are usually the center of attention because you are too loud/obnoxious, you are not spirited; you are rude and badly behaved.

OP's child is only a child so he has some growing to do. You, on the other hand ...