BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Misogynism is alive and well.

Must be the woman's fault. Always.

Whatever

Great point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?

Yes, would love to host. But, why would you not spring for a suite for your BIL and groomsmen? I would have booked a few rooms for my ILs, DH and I, and my kids too. Don't all of you come a day in advance and stay at the hotel where the wedding is happening?

It's pretty easy to say on the Internet you would book all those rooms. In reality though most people aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bridesmaids and I all hung out in my regular hotel room before the wedding. Why can't the guys just do that in the groom's room?

Groom and bride shared room night before. Groom got kicked out so bride can get ready. Groom now needs another place "to get ready."

OMG. Like really and truly low-class.

Let me guess, you were a virgin bride and wore white?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bridesmaids and I all hung out in my regular hotel room before the wedding. Why can't the guys just do that in the groom's room?

Groom and bride shared room night before. Groom got kicked out so bride can get ready. Groom now needs another place "to get ready."

Why doesn't he just go to a local park or coffee shop. That would fit his cheap vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

Some husbands tell their about these kinds of asks if they don't want to do it. It's not a big leap to understand some partners communicate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

I bet the BIL regularly asks for stuff and probably throws a fit if he doesn't get it. The parents don't want to host him or pay for it. The husband knows and told the wife so they can figure out the trade off of either dealing with the BIL's fit or hosting him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

Some husbands tell their about these kinds of asks if they don't want to do it. It's not a big leap to understand some partners communicate.

You're really doing the most here to twist things to fit your narrative. OP could come back in fill in the details but, as trolls do, has probably gone on to start a new wedding thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

I bet the BIL regularly asks for stuff and probably throws a fit if he doesn't get it. The parents don't want to host him or pay for it. The husband knows and told the wife so they can figure out the trade off of either dealing with the BIL's fit or hosting him.

So we're at the fan fiction part. Thanks for the contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

By that logic if he did want to do it he would had said so.

But I guess you'd rather blame a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

Some husbands tell their about these kinds of asks if they don't want to do it. It's not a big leap to understand some partners communicate.

You're really doing the most here to twist things to fit your narrative. OP could come back in fill in the details but, as trolls do, has probably gone on to start a new wedding thread.

Lol, touch grass. You are doing the dobling down you accuse others of.

You have no idea about the husband and BIL's relationship or op and the husband and yet you are convinced you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

I bet the BIL regularly asks for stuff and probably throws a fit if he doesn't get it. The parents don't want to host him or pay for it. The husband knows and told the wife so they can figure out the trade off of either dealing with the BIL's fit or hosting him.

So we're at the fan fiction part. Thanks for the contribution.

Honey it's been fan fiction since page 1. Where have you been?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

Some husbands tell their about these kinds of asks if they don't want to do it. It's not a big leap to understand some partners communicate.

You're really doing the most here to twist things to fit your narrative. OP could come back in fill in the details but, as trolls do, has probably gone on to start a new wedding thread.

Triggered much by knowing your husband doesn't talk to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

I bet the BIL regularly asks for stuff and probably throws a fit if he doesn't get it. The parents don't want to host him or pay for it. The husband knows and told the wife so they can figure out the trade off of either dealing with the BIL's fit or hosting him.

So we're at the fan fiction part. Thanks for the contribution.

The fan fiction where the husband really want to host but is so scared of his wife that he says up to you. That fan fiction?