BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this even a question? Your family gets ready in their rooms and the groomsmen use the rest of the house. It’s for a few hours and this is someone important to your DH. Your kids will also enjoy the happiness getting ready for this family event.

I’m not someone who loves people in my space, but I wouldn’t think twice about this.

The rest of the house where? Op didn't mention extra rooms.

I’m the PP who is pretty selective about who I bring into my home and am not about letting family walk all over me. The groomsmen can set up in the living and dining room. Give them one kid’s room if they need more privacy.

This is a strange take but I’m not allowing some random guy I’ve never met before, agreed to my child’s room so he can have “privacy”.

What's he going to do sniff your daughter's underwear? Stop being so paranoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Since you asked I expect them to have a wedding they can afford. If an extra night in a hotel room is unaffordable then they need to scale back the wedding significantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Aren't people getting married when they are increasingly older? This isn't the 1950s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Bitter much?

[Anonymous]

What did you end up doing OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Aren't people getting married when they are increasingly older? This isn't the 1950s.

Are they significantly more wealthy? I thought young people were up to their eyeballs in student loan debt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Bitter much?

Pardon? If I had a younger sibling who wanted some help I wouldn't be a miserly scrooge like some of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Aren't people getting married when they are increasingly older? This isn't the 1950s.

Are they significantly more wealthy? I thought young people were up to their eyeballs in student loan debt.

Depends on the person. Some have student loan debt. Some had parents pay for it all. Some make a nice salary but choose to live beyond their means.

Regardless it sounds like the groom planned a wedding he can't afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Isn't this a bit on the groomsmen too? SHouldn't the best man be organizing something? Like 6 of them chipping in and dividing the cost for a nice suite or adjoining rooms really would not be that much, and probably nicer for them than sitting on the couch of someone most of them don't even know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

I bet the BIL regularly asks for stuff and probably throws a fit if he doesn't get it. The parents don't want to host him or pay for it. The husband knows and told the wife so they can figure out the trade off of either dealing with the BIL's fit or hosting him.

Then why wasn't that included in the OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

I got the vibe he just didn't want to say yes and then have to hear it from his wife for the next 10 years or however long he lasts. I'm a woman, BTW.

Interesting. I'm also a woman and I got the vibe the husband didn't want to host since he was so unenthusiastic about it.

I guess we don't know what else the husband might have said. OP told us about "it's up to you." But we don't know what was said before that, i.e. "I'd like to do it...but it's up to you." Not a word about how the husband feels about it, etc., which leads me to believe that he wants to do it because otherwise OP would have included that her husband didn't even want to do it. And if she hemmed and hawed and he didn't want to do it then they'd both just say no. So deducing from the fact that OP posted on here about it leads me to believe that her husband wants to do it and the OP does not, hence why she came for opinions.

Lots of assumptions and jumping to conclusions about the situation and how the op's husband thinks.

Sure. Except that if OP's husband DIDN'T want to do it, he would have just told his brother that. I mean, that's not a big leap to figure out.

By that logic if he did want to do it he would had said so.

But I guess you'd rather blame a woman.

Annnnnnnnnd...OP wouldn't have included it because it would have made her look bad. It's like you're new here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Isn't this a bit on the groomsmen too? SHouldn't the best man be organizing something? Like 6 of them chipping in and dividing the cost for a nice suite or adjoining rooms really would not be that much, and probably nicer for them than sitting on the couch of someone most of them don't even know.

Yes, it is. The entire groom and wedding party are apparently incapable and cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.