BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

WTF. What do groomsmen even need to do to get ready? Apply spray tan? Button up each other's corsets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF. What do groomsmen even need to do to get ready? Apply spray tan? Button up each other's corsets?

Yeah, I think they really need a place to hang out. They should go to a sports bar type restaurant instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

Let me guess, you are estranged from your whole family and no contact with some. Nobody would ever even ask such a favor of you. Imagine OP is from a normal family and not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Throw money at the problem. You rent the extra hotel room and DH shows up with the catered party platters.

I haven't read all 29 pages but this is the obvious solution on page 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throw money at the problem. You rent the extra hotel room and DH shows up with the catered party platters.

I haven't read all 29 pages but this is the obvious solution on page 1.

You realize you would have to actually rent it for 2 nights to be able to use it all day to get ready. People are acting like hosting a brother and his friends for a few hours is like being asked to donate a kidney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

Let me guess, you are estranged from your whole family and no contact with some. Nobody would ever even ask such a favor of you. Imagine OP is from a normal family and not yours.

No, I'm not. I talked with my family regularly and visit them and have them visit me too.

What I don't do is take advantage of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Throw money at the problem. You rent the extra hotel room and DH shows up with the catered party platters.

I haven't read all 29 pages but this is the obvious solution on page 1.

The obvious solution being the groom stops being cheap.

[Anonymous]

It's his brother. OP is being a prick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

Let me guess, you are estranged from your whole family and no contact with some. Nobody would ever even ask such a favor of you. Imagine OP is from a normal family and not yours.

No, I'm not. I talked with my family regularly and visit them and have them visit me too.

What I don't do is take advantage of them.

This isn’t taking advantage whatsoever. That would be hosting the entire wedding in the backyard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

Let me guess, you are estranged from your whole family and no contact with some. Nobody would ever even ask such a favor of you. Imagine OP is from a normal family and not yours.

No, I'm not. I talked with my family regularly and visit them and have them visit me too.

What I don't do is take advantage of them.

This isn’t taking advantage whatsoever. That would be hosting the entire wedding in the backyard.

It's taking advantage and being cheap. The groom admitted himself he doesn't want to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

Let me guess, you are estranged from your whole family and no contact with some. Nobody would ever even ask such a favor of you. Imagine OP is from a normal family and not yours.

No, I'm not. I talked with my family regularly and visit them and have them visit me too.

What I don't do is take advantage of them.

This isn’t taking advantage whatsoever. That would be hosting the entire wedding in the backyard.

Ummm what. There's definitely "taking advantage of" that falls short of hosting a backyard wedding.

[Anonymous]

It would bother me that the groom didn't say "hey, while I'm hanging out with the groomsmen before the wedding I want to spend some time with my family too." Instead he just focuses on not wanting to pay for a hotel room. That's selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

I feel the complete opposite. I probably would have offered it to begin with. My siblings and in laws are welcome anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

I feel the complete opposite. I probably would have offered it to begin with. My siblings and in laws are welcome anytime.

It's almost like different people can have different views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just help to pay for a hotel room as part of a wedding gift. That would save a lot of troubles and inconveniences

The groom is simply too cheap to pay. All the trouble and inconveniences are because of that.

Well, what do you expect? A lot of couples are young, not at peak earning potential, and need a hand starting out, you know like the point of a registry. Most 20 somethings aren't dropping hundreds on a hotel room for a few hours just to get ready. But, yes, I'm sure you all only know people making mid 6 figures and above and your families rent out entire floor with multiple suites and have celebrity hair and makeup artists getting everyone ready. So, realistic, so down to earth.

Everyone I know gets ready at the venue or at the house of a wedding party member. I got ready at my parents house and DH got at his apartment.

But a sibling's house is out of bounds? Why? It's not like they asked a neighbor or some random person. What messed up families a lot of people come from that this is an insane request. But I bet you all would be the first crying about your sibling not invited all of your babies and toddlers to their wedding. Takers, not givers.

Because boundaries.

Just because I have a house doesn't mean my sibling is entitled to use it with his friends because they are too cheap to pay their own way.

I feel the complete opposite. I probably would have offered it to begin with. My siblings and in laws are welcome anytime.

Since op's DH didn't offer to begin with I'm guessing they have a different family dynamic than you.