Accommodation Nation

[Anonymous]

First we were told the kids need activities like
Sports and school clubs to make them well-rounded. Then we were told the kids need to start a non-profit and make a difference. Then we were told they need a “spike” or a “hook”. Then we were told they need a “narrative”. Now the latest is “accommodations”. So we need our kids to be hooked, athletic, accommodated difference-makers with an “it” factor to have any shot at becoming self-sufficient, productive adults. No wonder there’s a mental health crisis amongst our youth. Things not to take away from the kids who genuinely need accommodations or the kids who are involved in positive ways. It’s just the level of packaging, facilitating and engineering that has become a part of college admissions for so many kids who don’t really need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in a tough STEM major. I am wondering if 20-30 percent of the kids have accommodations, then it’s kind of like my son starting a 5K 1/4 mile behind. That’s not fair.

Don’t worry, if the kids actually need accommodation they are starting a mile behind him.

Having a serious disability isn’t nearly the cheat code people seem to think it is.

20-30 percent don’t have disabilities or if they do my son also has executive functioning issurs

17% of public school students have disabilities, at least as of 2020. So 20% isn't far off.

https://www.ed.gov/media/document/crdc-student-disabilities-snapshotpdf-21420.pdf

I have two highly intelligent children with learning differences (dyslexia and ADHD). Our educational system is NOT set up to support these kids. Everyone obsesses about the problem symptoms (and superficial remedies) rather than the problem itself, which is that there are medical neurological differences in how these kids experience the world and learn.

Despite the fact that modern medicine and testing can identify these neurological issues readily, the process is expensive and time-consuming (neuropsych panel) and we have a nationwide shortage of mental health professionals qualified to administer the testing, so the truth is that we have absolutely NO idea how many kids in our country are affected, because we cannot reliably measure and assess them. I am confident that there are many kids who slip through the cracks because our educational system fails to meet them where they are and parents are not aware and/or cannot afford proper diagnosis and treatment.

And I think we all can agree that our country's educational system is not in good shape overall generally. For these kids, it is much worse.

My kids are both highly successful in school and in life BECAUSE I have invested (and continue to invest) a lot of my money and my energy helping them develop educational, executive function and life skills for years. I have sacrificed a lot and regret nothing. While I recognize that I am fortunate that I can do so, I am so angry that our health insurance and our educational system refuses to pay for diagnostic tests that are so important for their lives. I am so frustrated that the vast majority of teachers have minimal training on learning differences. But, perhaps the worst part is the nasty, ignorant judgment on display in this forum and presumably in that article (can't read it with paywall) that has decided that rich families are "buying" accommodations. UGH.

Yes, there are examples of people who abuse the system, and that also makes me angry. But frankly, more than anything, I want the national dialogue to change from blaming and demonizing and a focus on actually solving problems constructively.

We need better testing and diagnoses in elementary school and we need training to support learning differences in schools. If we actually focus on solving the problems, it makes it more difficult for parents of neurotypical kids to game the process.

But it's easier to scream and point, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My freshman Ivy child has two roommates and both have extra time. They each are given 2-3 days to take exams that the rest of the kids are given 2-3 hours to complete. Both attended private schools. Both are very bright and very wealthy. Both have the extra time for "anxiety."

I'd be pissed if I was a professor or a person who had a kid with dyslexia or significant ADHD or a learning difference. It's apparently a huge difficulty to get these exams proctored, especially if the student also needs a quiet study pod because there are not enough pods for the onslaught of students who now require them.

I have no idea how this generation of kids will cope in jobs with deadlines and noise and without parents to run interference. But I guess the workforce will adapt. Maybe everyone will get a week and a soundproof pod to write an email.

Easy. You find a job that doesn’t have deadlines. There are lots of jobs like that out there.

When was the last time you sat for a timed test at your job? The lack of understanding here is unreal.

Most times your boss tells you "I need this today" it doesn't mean you get to nitpick and say "well, if you gave Legal 3 days to respond instead of 5, I could turn it in tomorrow, right? My reasonable accommodation says I get more time!"

How often does your boss say, “I need you answer three unrelated questions in 500 words each concerning topics discussed over the last 4 months in exactly 90 minutes”?

Since the PP seems to think that all jobs have the same requirements, my guess is that they’ve never been employed.

Let's see: I've run my own business, worked as a cashier, worked as a swimming lessons instructor, freelanced as a writer, worked as a fed, worked at a nonprofit organization, taught elementary school, taught middle school, drove a van, clerked for a federal judge, and worked for two biglaw firms (one of which I'm still employed by). My jobs have run the gamut. I've had one work assignment in my life that came close to approximating a timed exam.

Sounds like you have trouble keeping a job. This tracks.

Yeah, I had to work through high school, undergrad, and law school. Guess I'm a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First we were told the kids need activities like
Sports and school clubs to make them well-rounded. Then we were told the kids need to start a non-profit and make a difference. Then we were told they need a “spike” or a “hook”. Then we were told they need a “narrative”. Now the latest is “accommodations”. So we need our kids to be hooked, athletic, accommodated difference-makers with an “it” factor to have any shot at becoming self-sufficient, productive adults. No wonder there’s a mental health crisis amongst our youth. Things not to take away from the kids who genuinely need accommodations or the kids who are involved in positive ways. It’s just the level of packaging, facilitating and engineering that has become a part of college admissions for so many kids who don’t really need it.

The problem is with the parents and students who think only the extremely selective colleges are somehow bring wealth and fulfillment in life. There are plenty of good colleges you can get in easily. Think outside the box.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone here watch the show English Teacher? They did a very funny episode on the concept of accommodations. It takes place in a public high school in Austin, and the school was administering a college entrance exam. One of the kids qualified for accommodations so was taking the exam separately.

The show sends up the concept of accommodations. At one point the student is shown unrolling an area rug and setting out a lighted mirror and brushing her hair, and the principal explains she's permitted 6 personal items to help her feel comfortable. They also at one point show the student outside on the track doing some kind of interpretive dance because she's decided she needs a "body break" while her exam proctors have to sit there waiting for her to be ready to go take the exam.

One of her proctors is the school principal, who laments that this is what things have come to, and says that when he was in school, instead of accommodating every little thing, schools and communities expected kids to figure it out, and in doing so they developed "grit". The other proctor is a teacher who takes the more contemporary view that it's great kids who might struggle under the old ways are being given opportunities to meet their potential. Though even this teacher waivers a bit at some of the student's behavior.

Most relevant to this conversation is the way the more supportive teacher repeatedly notes that they can all agree this particular student has challenges. The student is a semi-regular on the show and is shown in prior episodes as a real PITA who does seem to have issues, but is also clearly very intelligent, often to the point of being manipulative. It's a TV show, not reality, but I thought this was interesting because I do agree that usually the kids getting accommodations do in fact have real challenges.

But the show's satirical take also reflects my view, which is that the accommodations offered often do nothing to actually help kids "meet their potential" and instead just become a game and a power struggle that often limits kids more than it lifts them up. I agree with the sympathetic teacher that the kids getting accommodations often have real challenges that schools should be looking to help solve, but also agree with the principal that simply accommodating these kids' is, in the long run, depriving them of something essential. Call it grit, or resilient, or self-reliance -- it's depriving them of opportunities to practice survival in an environment that doesn't cater to them, also known as "reality."

Anyway, worth watching IMO. That show actually does a great job of addressing a lot of the hot button education topics of the day in ways that are way more nuanced and enlightening than politicians or the media discuss them. Also, while my description here doesn't do it justice at all, it is incredibly funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First we were told the kids need activities like
Sports and school clubs to make them well-rounded. Then we were told the kids need to start a non-profit and make a difference. Then we were told they need a “spike” or a “hook”. Then we were told they need a “narrative”. Now the latest is “accommodations”. So we need our kids to be hooked, athletic, accommodated difference-makers with an “it” factor to have any shot at becoming self-sufficient, productive adults. No wonder there’s a mental health crisis amongst our youth. Things not to take away from the kids who genuinely need accommodations or the kids who are involved in positive ways. It’s just the level of packaging, facilitating and engineering that has become a part of college admissions for so many kids who don’t really need it.

Sorry, but this isn’t a real problem. A kid not getting into an Ivy is a made up problem. I don’t care how badly they or their parents want it. Kids have an easier life now than in the history of humanity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First we were told the kids need activities like
Sports and school clubs to make them well-rounded. Then we were told the kids need to start a non-profit and make a difference. Then we were told they need a “spike” or a “hook”. Then we were told they need a “narrative”. Now the latest is “accommodations”. So we need our kids to be hooked, athletic, accommodated difference-makers with an “it” factor to have any shot at becoming self-sufficient, productive adults. No wonder there’s a mental health crisis amongst our youth. Things not to take away from the kids who genuinely need accommodations or the kids who are involved in positive ways. It’s just the level of packaging, facilitating and engineering that has become a part of college admissions for so many kids who don’t really need it.

The problem is with the parents and students who think only the extremely selective colleges are somehow bring wealth and fulfillment in life. There are plenty of good colleges you can get in easily. Think outside the box.

THIS x1000

We live in VA and I know so many happy, successful, fulfilled people who went to VA state schools people on this site would look down their nose at. The proof is in the pudding!

[Anonymous]

No worries Project 2025 says no more accommodations.

The Heritage Foundation, Theil and Musk have no use for kids who are not white and perfect

[Anonymous]

For one diagnosed as being dyslexic, would reading the answer first before reading the question be a legitimate accommodation ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work as an attorney and it’s shocking (and getting worse every year) how many new employees come in that don’t seem to understand that when I say I need something by noon on Thursday, that isn’t a guideline or a suggestion or a wish. I’m sure I’m not very popular with the young ones. They either figure it out after the first couple assignments or they find other employment.

I’m an attorney too and I’m seeing younger employees come in with that mindset too. Constant requests for time off, constant sick days, not planning ahead, not taking initiative, disregarding instructions. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, the economy, accommodations, helicopter parenting, or some combination of everything.

More attorneys sharing parenting responsibilities across gender lines, worse childcare options, and fewer people thinking their employers will love them back for making their entire life work.

In the law firm world, the client does not care about those things. Especially not at the rates we charge. If that’s not for you, totally understand. But if you want big law pay, you’ll have to get up to speed or be pushed out. When we tell a client we will get them something by a deadline, we do it barring truly extenuating circumstances. And if you are a litigator, the deadlines are truly firm and imposed by the court/the statute.

I say this as an attorney (one of maybe the majority of this board), but maybe you should staff cases/deals better? Your employees are human beings with human needs. And they have legal entitlement to things like paid sick leave, parental leave, FMLA, etc. You need to structure your staffing to be able to accommodate these inevitabilities, especially when so many firms makes (bullshit) promises about supporting working parents and valuing employee health and wellbeing.

Being a big law attorney is a demanding job. It’s not the kind of job for someone who needs a soft workplace. If we have a filing deadline, we have to get it done whether your kid is sick or not. And no we don’t just keep extra staff on hand just in case. If you let a senior attorney down enough times they will stop bringing work to you. Again, it’s not for everyone.

Complying with DC paid leave laws, FMLA, and the firm’s written employment policies isn’t “soft.” It’s a requirement to run a business. Maybe if the attorneys running the show can’t figure out how to follow basic laws, they shouldn’t be running a law firm tasked with ensuring legal compliance.

In any event, I don’t disagree with your assessment of the culture of biglaw. I personally lateraled after an inexcusable experience with inflexibility. I requested a single day off two weeks in advance to take my mom (multiple states away) to her cancer surgery. I reminded everyone the day before and set an OOO. Managing partner called me three times, emailed me five times, and texted me “HURRY PLEASE” all before 9 am for something that was absolutely objectively not urgent. These firms are run by psychopaths, and I’m thrilled the younger generation is pushing back.

That’s not at all what we are talking about. We are talking about employees who are not on any sort of leave not being able to meet deadlines communicated well in advance. It’s happening more and more and the younger workforce is showing no time management whatsoever. If I request a 30-60 minute deliverable from you on Friday morning, I want it on Friday before you leave. Friday is still a workday.

That's what PP was talking about (don't know if that's you). "Constant requests for time off, constant sick days" as specific complaints. And in my experience, law firms are not respectful at all of needing to take the day off for your own illness, a child's illness, or a family member's illness.

I’m not the time off PP. But my firm does have a huge problem with younger associates not understanding that they need to get their deliverables done by the deadline, and if they don’t understand the task or it’s taking too long they need to communicate that long before the deadline occurs. Not allow the deadline to occur, and then only when pressed, admit they didn’t do it yet or didn’t understand it. And yes, sometimes in this line of work we work into the evening or on a weekend. If that is a hard no for you, then it’s probably not the right place for you. That’s fine, but at our rates our clients expect responsiveness. We can have a societal discussion about whether that is good or not, but at this point in time if we don’t meet deadlines our clients will leave for firms who will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work as an attorney and it’s shocking (and getting worse every year) how many new employees come in that don’t seem to understand that when I say I need something by noon on Thursday, that isn’t a guideline or a suggestion or a wish. I’m sure I’m not very popular with the young ones. They either figure it out after the first couple assignments or they find other employment.

I’m an attorney too and I’m seeing younger employees come in with that mindset too. Constant requests for time off, constant sick days, not planning ahead, not taking initiative, disregarding instructions. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, the economy, accommodations, helicopter parenting, or some combination of everything.

More attorneys sharing parenting responsibilities across gender lines, worse childcare options, and fewer people thinking their employers will love them back for making their entire life work.

In the law firm world, the client does not care about those things. Especially not at the rates we charge. If that’s not for you, totally understand. But if you want big law pay, you’ll have to get up to speed or be pushed out. When we tell a client we will get them something by a deadline, we do it barring truly extenuating circumstances. And if you are a litigator, the deadlines are truly firm and imposed by the court/the statute.

I say this as an attorney (one of maybe the majority of this board), but maybe you should staff cases/deals better? Your employees are human beings with human needs. And they have legal entitlement to things like paid sick leave, parental leave, FMLA, etc. You need to structure your staffing to be able to accommodate these inevitabilities, especially when so many firms makes (bullshit) promises about supporting working parents and valuing employee health and wellbeing.

Being a big law attorney is a demanding job. It’s not the kind of job for someone who needs a soft workplace. If we have a filing deadline, we have to get it done whether your kid is sick or not. And no we don’t just keep extra staff on hand just in case. If you let a senior attorney down enough times they will stop bringing work to you. Again, it’s not for everyone.

Exactly. Nobody who has ever had to have extra time to accomplish tasks is cut out for big law. Acknowledge the disability and that it isn't compatible with all jobs. Or just teach the kids how to handle their time and cut out the disability completely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work as an attorney and it’s shocking (and getting worse every year) how many new employees come in that don’t seem to understand that when I say I need something by noon on Thursday, that isn’t a guideline or a suggestion or a wish. I’m sure I’m not very popular with the young ones. They either figure it out after the first couple assignments or they find other employment.

I’m an attorney too and I’m seeing younger employees come in with that mindset too. Constant requests for time off, constant sick days, not planning ahead, not taking initiative, disregarding instructions. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, the economy, accommodations, helicopter parenting, or some combination of everything.

More attorneys sharing parenting responsibilities across gender lines, worse childcare options, and fewer people thinking their employers will love them back for making their entire life work.

In the law firm world, the client does not care about those things. Especially not at the rates we charge. If that’s not for you, totally understand. But if you want big law pay, you’ll have to get up to speed or be pushed out. When we tell a client we will get them something by a deadline, we do it barring truly extenuating circumstances. And if you are a litigator, the deadlines are truly firm and imposed by the court/the statute.

I say this as an attorney (one of maybe the majority of this board), but maybe you should staff cases/deals better? Your employees are human beings with human needs. And they have legal entitlement to things like paid sick leave, parental leave, FMLA, etc. You need to structure your staffing to be able to accommodate these inevitabilities, especially when so many firms makes (bullshit) promises about supporting working parents and valuing employee health and wellbeing.

Being a big law attorney is a demanding job. It’s not the kind of job for someone who needs a soft workplace. If we have a filing deadline, we have to get it done whether your kid is sick or not. And no we don’t just keep extra staff on hand just in case. If you let a senior attorney down enough times they will stop bringing work to you. Again, it’s not for everyone.

Exactly. Nobody who has ever had to have extra time to accomplish tasks is cut out for big law. Acknowledge the disability and that it isn't compatible with all jobs. Or just teach the kids how to handle their time and cut out the disability completely.

Extended time big law senior associate checking in! We do fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work as an attorney and it’s shocking (and getting worse every year) how many new employees come in that don’t seem to understand that when I say I need something by noon on Thursday, that isn’t a guideline or a suggestion or a wish. I’m sure I’m not very popular with the young ones. They either figure it out after the first couple assignments or they find other employment.

I’m an attorney too and I’m seeing younger employees come in with that mindset too. Constant requests for time off, constant sick days, not planning ahead, not taking initiative, disregarding instructions. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, the economy, accommodations, helicopter parenting, or some combination of everything.

More attorneys sharing parenting responsibilities across gender lines, worse childcare options, and fewer people thinking their employers will love them back for making their entire life work.

In the law firm world, the client does not care about those things. Especially not at the rates we charge. If that’s not for you, totally understand. But if you want big law pay, you’ll have to get up to speed or be pushed out. When we tell a client we will get them something by a deadline, we do it barring truly extenuating circumstances. And if you are a litigator, the deadlines are truly firm and imposed by the court/the statute.

I say this as an attorney (one of maybe the majority of this board), but maybe you should staff cases/deals better? Your employees are human beings with human needs. And they have legal entitlement to things like paid sick leave, parental leave, FMLA, etc. You need to structure your staffing to be able to accommodate these inevitabilities, especially when so many firms makes (bullshit) promises about supporting working parents and valuing employee health and wellbeing.

Being a big law attorney is a demanding job. It’s not the kind of job for someone who needs a soft workplace. If we have a filing deadline, we have to get it done whether your kid is sick or not. And no we don’t just keep extra staff on hand just in case. If you let a senior attorney down enough times they will stop bringing work to you. Again, it’s not for everyone.

Exactly. Nobody who has ever had to have extra time to accomplish tasks is cut out for big law. Acknowledge the disability and that it isn't compatible with all jobs. Or just teach the kids how to handle their time and cut out the disability completely.

You know some of the most gifted litigators in the world have dyslexia and learning disabilities, right? Take a look at David Boies and Elizabeth Cabraser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I work as an attorney and it’s shocking (and getting worse every year) how many new employees come in that don’t seem to understand that when I say I need something by noon on Thursday, that isn’t a guideline or a suggestion or a wish. I’m sure I’m not very popular with the young ones. They either figure it out after the first couple assignments or they find other employment.

I’m an attorney too and I’m seeing younger employees come in with that mindset too. Constant requests for time off, constant sick days, not planning ahead, not taking initiative, disregarding instructions. I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, the economy, accommodations, helicopter parenting, or some combination of everything.

More attorneys sharing parenting responsibilities across gender lines, worse childcare options, and fewer people thinking their employers will love them back for making their entire life work.

In the law firm world, the client does not care about those things. Especially not at the rates we charge. If that’s not for you, totally understand. But if you want big law pay, you’ll have to get up to speed or be pushed out. When we tell a client we will get them something by a deadline, we do it barring truly extenuating circumstances. And if you are a litigator, the deadlines are truly firm and imposed by the court/the statute.

I say this as an attorney (one of maybe the majority of this board), but maybe you should staff cases/deals better? Your employees are human beings with human needs. And they have legal entitlement to things like paid sick leave, parental leave, FMLA, etc. You need to structure your staffing to be able to accommodate these inevitabilities, especially when so many firms makes (bullshit) promises about supporting working parents and valuing employee health and wellbeing.

Being a big law attorney is a demanding job. It’s not the kind of job for someone who needs a soft workplace. If we have a filing deadline, we have to get it done whether your kid is sick or not. And no we don’t just keep extra staff on hand just in case. If you let a senior attorney down enough times they will stop bringing work to you. Again, it’s not for everyone.

Complying with DC paid leave laws, FMLA, and the firm’s written employment policies isn’t “soft.” It’s a requirement to run a business. Maybe if the attorneys running the show can’t figure out how to follow basic laws, they shouldn’t be running a law firm tasked with ensuring legal compliance.

In any event, I don’t disagree with your assessment of the culture of biglaw. I personally lateraled after an inexcusable experience with inflexibility. I requested a single day off two weeks in advance to take my mom (multiple states away) to her cancer surgery. I reminded everyone the day before and set an OOO. Managing partner called me three times, emailed me five times, and texted me “HURRY PLEASE” all before 9 am for something that was absolutely objectively not urgent. These firms are run by psychopaths, and I’m thrilled the younger generation is pushing back.

That’s not at all what we are talking about. We are talking about employees who are not on any sort of leave not being able to meet deadlines communicated well in advance. It’s happening more and more and the younger workforce is showing no time management whatsoever. If I request a 30-60 minute deliverable from you on Friday morning, I want it on Friday before you leave. Friday is still a workday.

That's what PP was talking about (don't know if that's you). "Constant requests for time off, constant sick days" as specific complaints. And in my experience, law firms are not respectful at all of needing to take the day off for your own illness, a child's illness, or a family member's illness.

I’m not the time off PP. But my firm does have a huge problem with younger associates not understanding that they need to get their deliverables done by the deadline, and if they don’t understand the task or it’s taking too long they need to communicate that long before the deadline occurs. Not allow the deadline to occur, and then only when pressed, admit they didn’t do it yet or didn’t understand it. And yes, sometimes in this line of work we work into the evening or on a weekend. If that is a hard no for you, then it’s probably not the right place for you. That’s fine, but at our rates our clients expect responsiveness. We can have a societal discussion about whether that is good or not, but at this point in time if we don’t meet deadlines our clients will leave for firms who will.

I’m the quoted PP. Not making deliverable deadlines absent an emergency isn’t okay, especially if there isn’t ongoing communication well in advance about whether the deadline isn’t workable. No dispute there.

But big law and many law firms are incredibly unaccommodating of sick days, child illness, family emergencies, death, etc., and it’s both truly unacceptable on a personal level but also frequently illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in a tough STEM major. I am wondering if 20-30 percent of the kids have accommodations, then it’s kind of like my son starting a 5K 1/4 mile behind. That’s not fair.

Don’t worry, if the kids actually need accommodation they are starting a mile behind him.

Having a serious disability isn’t nearly the cheat code people seem to think it is.

20-30 percent don’t have disabilities or if they do my son also has executive functioning issurs

17% of public school students have disabilities, at least as of 2020. So 20% isn't far off.

https://www.ed.gov/media/document/crdc-student-disabilities-snapshotpdf-21420.pdf

I have two highly intelligent children with learning differences (dyslexia and ADHD). Our educational system is NOT set up to support these kids. Everyone obsesses about the problem symptoms (and superficial remedies) rather than the problem itself, which is that there are medical neurological differences in how these kids experience the world and learn.

Despite the fact that modern medicine and testing can identify these neurological issues readily, the process is expensive and time-consuming (neuropsych panel) and we have a nationwide shortage of mental health professionals qualified to administer the testing, so the truth is that we have absolutely NO idea how many kids in our country are affected, because we cannot reliably measure and assess them. I am confident that there are many kids who slip through the cracks because our educational system fails to meet them where they are and parents are not aware and/or cannot afford proper diagnosis and treatment.

And I think we all can agree that our country's educational system is not in good shape overall generally. For these kids, it is much worse.

My kids are both highly successful in school and in life BECAUSE I have invested (and continue to invest) a lot of my money and my energy helping them develop educational, executive function and life skills for years. I have sacrificed a lot and regret nothing. While I recognize that I am fortunate that I can do so, I am so angry that our health insurance and our educational system refuses to pay for diagnostic tests that are so important for their lives. I am so frustrated that the vast majority of teachers have minimal training on learning differences. But, perhaps the worst part is the nasty, ignorant judgment on display in this forum and presumably in that article (can't read it with paywall) that has decided that rich families are "buying" accommodations. UGH.

Yes, there are examples of people who abuse the system, and that also makes me angry. But frankly, more than anything, I want the national dialogue to change from blaming and demonizing and a focus on actually solving problems constructively.

We need better testing and diagnoses in elementary school and we need training to support learning differences in schools. If we actually focus on solving the problems, it makes it more difficult for parents of neurotypical kids to game the process.

But it's easier to scream and point, unfortunately.

I honestly despise parents like you. If your kids are “highly successful in school” it is because the nature of their disabilities was extremely mild, not because you have some secret sauce of parental effort. Yet you will grab every accommodation you can.