What is "wife material"?
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Anonymous
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Just curious to see if we can articulate this further and get into specifics. I'm a single woman in her mid twenties, working in a white collar job where I earn in the low six figures. I decided to write this thread after reading the Female Lawyers in New York thread. I'm similar to that OP in that it's very hard for me to meet a man. I'm good looking and well spoken but I just can't flirt. So I decided that this year I am just going to start working on improving myself in every way until I am "wife material". Can men chime into this thread with input, and successful wives also?
Obviously, it goes without saying that physical fitness and maintaining your looks in every way (skin, hair, teeth, nails, etc) is paramount. And so is having your own income and enjoying your work. Do you also need to be really financially savvy? A perfect cook and homemaker and hostess? I admit these are things I need to work on. I'm "financially savvy" in the sense that I live within my budget and save every month, but I definitely don't know how to follow the stock market. And I'm a decent cook but by no means an amazing one, and I honestly am not that great at throwing parties - I never had much practice because I'm a raging introvert. What are other traits that make a woman more desirable as a wife? And what are good ways to learn those traits? |
Anonymous
| You've had less than five men inside you, right? I wouldn't bother marrying anyone with more than that. Less is better, but meanwhile don't add to that number. |
Anonymous
| is this a troll post? Because if not, you are looking for someone to not love you instead of someone to love you. So sad. |
Anonymous
| $$$$ |
Anonymous
Wrong post -- that's husband material. |
Anonymous
| I don't think any of the things you mention are important. Love yourself, be nice and forgiving to other people (and yourself), and date the kind of men who are interested in getting married. |
Anonymous
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What cynics!
OP, u have it backwards. U need to be the person you want to be. And you need to be with the person who shares the same core beliefs with you. |
Anonymous
| I'm not sure why my thread has received such hostile replies... |
Anonymous
I am a successful wife. I have been happily married for more than 15 years, and am still head over heels for my DH. We have kids, dogs, a house and a comfortable lifestyle. I am in no way what anyone would consider "wife material" if you are going by physical appearances and being a perfect cook, homemaker or hostess. I am, however, wife material in that I understand my DH and respond to his emotional needs. I put our relationship first, above everything else, including our kids (which gets me flamed on here). We are partners in life and for life, which extends so far beyond your limited "wife material" notion. Forget about becoming something you are not in order to attract a husband. Be emotionally healthy and look for someone else who is emotional healthy. Believe me, maturity, mutual respect and communication are far more paramount to any relationship than your teeth, skin and hair could ever be. Indeed, if you meet a man who loves you for your teeth, skin and hair, you are in for a terrible shock, because your looks will not last forever. Be loved for who you are, not what you look like. |
Anonymous
You kidding? Ask John Kerry... |
Anonymous
Hello OP. You remind me of me from so many moons ago. My mom always said that every shoe has its mate. Unless you want to be a Stepford wife and end up divorced in 8 years, don't try to sculpt yourself into some "good wife" stereotype. The good husbands-to-be are all looking for their personal perfect fit of the perfect wife, and the perfect wife is someone who let's you know that she will love you and take care care of you and be your unwavering lover and friend. But this takes on different meaning for different people. You can't possibly be this for all the men you meet. So, just be your happy self, go out there and date, and have self-respect. If you want to sleep with a guy on the first date, then by all means do so, but please don't do it to try to make him like you. I met my DH when I was 27. It was abysmal until then. My track record wasn't very good at all. But then, bam! I suddenlt met this guy, and we hit it off amazingly. I had very good career prospects, I was thinner and youthful, and I could cook a mean dinner. But I also drank, smoked and cursed like a sailor. Through it all, he saw someone to love. I quit smoking, only drink socially, and now have house, kids, pets. Don't worry. Take care of yourself, keep optimistic, and if you fail once, just pick yourself up and continue dating. But you must go out there! You won't meet anyone if you come straight home from work and sit in front of the TV. Date date date. That doesn't mean to sleep around, but meet many men for coffee, join running clubs or whatever, just get out there. |
Anonymous
| Smart, good cook, can keep an organized home, takes care of herself and can take care of her man. |
Anonymous
Wtf?? |
Anonymous
Hello, OP. I responded to you. I have no idea, but millennial posts get so much hate. Both Boomers and gen-x'ers, of which I am one, seem to gang up on you guys. You came of age during a recession. I don't know why people need to dump on you even more. |
Anonymous
| All kidding aside: an advanced degree. I have a doctorate and would not have considered marrying someone with less than an MA. |