What is "wife material"?

[Anonymous]

I never flirted before meeting the man who became my husband. While I am great at budgeting, I don't follow the stock market. DH is the cook, not me. I can make mac & cheese from a box, and scrambled eggs. That's about it. I'm smart, kind, funny, in good shape, work out regularly, am not jealous or insecure, and have my own life. Met DH in college.

What I'd suggest to you is to not act desperate, and to be gracious when you're given compliments. When possible, give a (genuine) compliment back. Have your own shit going on. Take a cooking class or a wine class, get on some sort of sports team. Also, accept all (safe) invitations from both men and women. You never know who'll have a brother, cousin, friend, coworker, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You've had less than five men inside you, right? I wouldn't bother marrying anyone with more than that. Less is better, but meanwhile don't add to that number.

Wtf??

No, the PP meant HmdyF??

(How many did you,,,,?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All kidding aside: an advanced degree. I have a doctorate and would not have considered marrying someone with less than an MA.

I graduated from Harvard. Princeton and Yale wives would be good enough, but no state university graduates. May as well pick up a community college student.

[Anonymous]

You sound kind of wooden and boring. I can't imagine asking myself such question at your age - yet I was already married at that time (and still am).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I agree you should be yourself so you can have an authentic relationship. However, while I'm impressed and respect career women, if I'm going to have children, I want to marry a woman who can raise our children first and foremost. I want to be the sole financial provider and I'd like a wife who can take care of me and my family. If she can do it all, great, but I don't want nannies raising our kids.

And, if this is your goal, OP, to be a SAHM or to be a WAHM or even to be childless by choice, you need to align yourself with like minded men. I'm not saying to state these things up front, on a first date, but you need to know what direction you might head into the future and date accordingly.

I'm wanted to be a SAHM ever since I was a very little girl. I'm 45 and a SAHM of three children. I have a college degree and had a great career that I left after my first child was born. I could not have gotten serious with a man who had disdain for SAHMs or who expected me to be the breadwinner or wouldn't have wanted to have children. All that said, carefully examine what your future goals are keep these in the forefront of your mind when it comes to meeting men.

So I guess you did not date teachers, social workers, or public interest lawyers?

Maybe she didn't are you trying to make her feel bad?

No, just clarifying. The only way to plan ahead to be a SAHM is to marry someone who can support a family singlehanded. So, low earners need not apply for the position. Right?

Stand down bitch. Maybe she was just willing to live within whatever means her husband was able to provide. ..maybe she had a trust fund. Don't be mad because she had a plan.

[Anonymous]

The man was her plan. Bad, bad plan.

OP, people marry because they dan't imagine their life without the other person in it. Find someone who wants to be with you more than he wants anything else. You deserve nothing less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in your shoes I decided to what my friends and I nicknamed "turning your porch light on". I am not a naturally flirtatious person but I would put out a warm vibe to everyone I met, cultivated my sense of humor, and lastly, for one month I decided to say yes to every invitation I could conceivably make work. So Tuesday after a long day and I was exhausted and I had some cocktail party invite? I still went. And then when guys asked me out, I said yes to every. single. one. At least once. And I will tell you something, it was one of the most fun time of my life. You shouldnt date down BUT when I met and fell in love with my husband he was an unemployed bartender. (it totally freaked me out haha) I only went out with him bc I had told myself to say yes to every proper date I was asked on. Anyways now he's a lobbiest and doing quite well. But that's not even the point. Make a huge effort to be open!

Do you mean 'lobbyist" or that he works in a lobby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I agree you should be yourself so you can have an authentic relationship. However, while I'm impressed and respect career women, if I'm going to have children, I want to marry a woman who can raise our children first and foremost. I want to be the sole financial provider and I'd like a wife who can take care of me and my family. If she can do it all, great, but I don't want nannies raising our kids.

And, if this is your goal, OP, to be a SAHM or to be a WAHM or even to be childless by choice, you need to align yourself with like minded men. I'm not saying to state these things up front, on a first date, but you need to know what direction you might head into the future and date accordingly.

I'm wanted to be a SAHM ever since I was a very little girl. I'm 45 and a SAHM of three children. I have a college degree and had a great career that I left after my first child was born. I could not have gotten serious with a man who had disdain for SAHMs or who expected me to be the breadwinner or wouldn't have wanted to have children. All that said, carefully examine what your future goals are keep these in the forefront of your mind when it comes to meeting men.

this one is good.

Kind of like job hunting, she needed a certain salary (his, not hers) to maintain the lifestyle she required.

yes she did, BUT it the difference is it seems that she was upfront with that. That's a difference. saves time for everybody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious--how does someone in her mid-twenties, unmarried with no children, making 6 figures find her way to a forum called "DC Urban Moms & Dads" and ask for relationship advice?

troll, obviously.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Wife material" varies by man. I feel like every man has one specific thing they want in a wife. An ex-boyfriend told me I was wife material except for one thing...I was not from the country he was from (he was an immigrant).

My DH told me I was wife material while we were making out about 5 weeks after I met him.

To, him, "wife material" was someone who was financially successful on her own and never wanted to be a SAHM.

My dad always wanted someone who wanted to be a SAHM. He got my mom.

My brother wanted someone that was uber smart and he married a Harvard trained scientist.

My friend wanted someone young with great skin and he married someone 18 years his junior.

My uncle wanted a woman with a family with a certain cultural background...he married my aunt.

My ex married someone with an ethnic background from his country. It proved to me that all men have something in mind that they think is "wife material."

Be yourself. Every one is different in what they want in a spouse.

Married 4 years, one child. My husband material was trustworthy, intellectual curiosity, educated and good with money (meaning not a spender but a saver).

+1 Well put!!

[Anonymous]

OP, you have gotten fabulous advice - the best DCUM has to offer. I wonder if your list of attributes for "wife material" reflects what YOU are actually looking for in a potential husband. Regardless, you are who you are. F**k the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I agree you should be yourself so you can have an authentic relationship. However, while I'm impressed and respect career women, if I'm going to have children, I want to marry a woman who can raise our children first and foremost. I want to be the sole financial provider and I'd like a wife who can take care of me and my family. If she can do it all, great, but I don't want nannies raising our kids.

And, if this is your goal, OP, to be a SAHM or to be a WAHM or even to be childless by choice, you need to align yourself with like minded men. I'm not saying to state these things up front, on a first date, but you need to know what direction you might head into the future and date accordingly.

I'm wanted to be a SAHM ever since I was a very little girl. I'm 45 and a SAHM of three children. I have a college degree and had a great career that I left after my first child was born. I could not have gotten serious with a man who had disdain for SAHMs or who expected me to be the breadwinner or wouldn't have wanted to have children. All that said, carefully examine what your future goals are keep these in the forefront of your mind when it comes to meeting men.

So I guess you did not date teachers, social workers, or public interest lawyers?

Maybe she didn't are you trying to make her feel bad?

No, just clarifying. The only way to plan ahead to be a SAHM is to marry someone who can support a family singlehanded. So, low earners need not apply for the position. Right?

Stand down bitch. Maybe she was just willing to live within whatever means her husband was able to provide. ..maybe she had a trust fund. Don't be mad because she had a plan.

Yes. The man. The man was her plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I agree you should be yourself so you can have an authentic relationship. However, while I'm impressed and respect career women, if I'm going to have children, I want to marry a woman who can raise our children first and foremost. I want to be the sole financial provider and I'd like a wife who can take care of me and my family. If she can do it all, great, but I don't want nannies raising our kids.

And, if this is your goal, OP, to be a SAHM or to be a WAHM or even to be childless by choice, you need to align yourself with like minded men. I'm not saying to state these things up front, on a first date, but you need to know what direction you might head into the future and date accordingly.

I'm wanted to be a SAHM ever since I was a very little girl. I'm 45 and a SAHM of three children. I have a college degree and had a great career that I left after my first child was born. I could not have gotten serious with a man who had disdain for SAHMs or who expected me to be the breadwinner or wouldn't have wanted to have children. All that said, carefully examine what your future goals are keep these in the forefront of your mind when it comes to meeting men.

this one is good.

Kind of like job hunting, she needed a certain salary (his, not hers) to maintain the lifestyle she required.

yes she did, BUT it the difference is it seems that she was upfront with that. That's a difference. saves time for everybody.

Yes. In a mercenary kind of way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Wife material" varies by man. I feel like every man has one specific thing they want in a wife. An ex-boyfriend told me I was wife material except for one thing...I was not from the country he was from (he was an immigrant).

My DH told me I was wife material while we were making out about 5 weeks after I met him.

To, him, "wife material" was someone who was financially successful on her own and never wanted to be a SAHM.

My dad always wanted someone who wanted to be a SAHM. He got my mom.

My brother wanted someone that was uber smart and he married a Harvard trained scientist.

My friend wanted someone young with great skin and he married someone 18 years his junior.

My uncle wanted a woman with a family with a certain cultural background...he married my aunt.

My ex married someone with an ethnic background from his country. It proved to me that all men have something in mind that they think is "wife material."

Be yourself. Every one is different in what they want in a spouse.

Married 4 years, one child. My husband material was trustworthy, intellectual curiosity, educated and good with money (meaning not a spender but a saver).

+1 Well put!!

never wanted to be a SAHM is wife material for weak men

[Anonymous]

Don't say no to anything "vanilla" in bed, lest you and/or your husband wind up BACK HERE complaining about what sexual things one does not do for the other.

Looking nice is obviously a plus, but a relationship without (good) sex becomes a friend/roommate situation.