What's your parenting mindset/belief that goes against the grain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pull my boobs out for nursing in front of my older kids and have zero discretion. Tired of boob shaming myself

My SIL does this. In the mall and airport too. Both boobs fully completely out even though the baby can only use one at a time... To each their own, the rest of her family (parents and sibs) is mortified.

That is for attention. She WANTS for people to see her boob and, probably, even wants people to say how inappropriate it is. no one who breastfeeds needs an entire boob, or two, out and about to do so. That woman just needs the attention, which is sad and pathetic.

This is not a situation where you can say "to each their own." There are situations where actions just aren't okay. Public nudity is both against the law and gross.

Breastfeeding does not require nudity.

+1 There are covers and all sorts of clothing that is discrete or wearing a shirt with tank tops. That woman probably wants someone to say something so she can complain about how breastfeeding is not normalized and how oppressed she is and then go stage a sit in or some crap like that.

stop clutching your pearls and worry more about the behavior of actually grotesque people who sexually harass women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pull my boobs out for nursing in front of my older kids and have zero discretion. Tired of boob shaming myself

My SIL does this. In the mall and airport too. Both boobs fully completely out even though the baby can only use one at a time... To each their own, the rest of her family (parents and sibs) is mortified.

That is for attention. She WANTS for people to see her boob and, probably, even wants people to say how inappropriate it is. no one who breastfeeds needs an entire boob, or two, out and about to do so. That woman just needs the attention, which is sad and pathetic.

This is not a situation where you can say "to each their own." There are situations where actions just aren't okay. Public nudity is both against the law and gross.

Breastfeeding does not require nudity.

+1 There are covers and all sorts of clothing that is discrete or wearing a shirt with tank tops. That woman probably wants someone to say something so she can complain about how breastfeeding is not normalized and how oppressed she is and then go stage a sit in or some crap like that.

stop clutching your pearls and worry more about the behavior of actually grotesque people who sexually harass women.

I'm a woman. I don't sexually harass women. And I still don't want to see some strangers boobs in the middle of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's one that REALLY goes against the grain: I believe it's super important to actually raise your own kids when they are infants and under about four years old. Not a nanny, babysitter, daycare or full-day pre-school. Mom or Dad at home taking care of and imparting values to their own kids. REALLY important.

Interesting, I feel the exact opposite which I think goes against the grain. I think middle and high schoolers need a present at home parent (from school dismissal time) much more than young kids/elementary school kids. That doesn’t mean they cannot have the increasing independence and responsibility that they need. It does mean no one is raiding your liquor cabinet or losing their virginity on your couch.

I can see this being a valid opinion.

I second this opinion.

This is exactly why I didn't work when my kids were young, and when I did choose a job that allowed me to be done by the time they got out of school once they hit middle school. Guess what, kids need parents. from 0-college

~Mom to 21yo and 18yo

I feel bad for moms who stay home with young kids and think they are making a difference or that if really matters. The kid won’t even remember the time. It’s really more for the mom, which is fine. The problem is that the time at home is actually hurting the mom in terms of equality at home and retirement savings among many other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pull my boobs out for nursing in front of my older kids and have zero discretion. Tired of boob shaming myself

My SIL does this. In the mall and airport too. Both boobs fully completely out even though the baby can only use one at a time... To each their own, the rest of her family (parents and sibs) is mortified.

That is for attention. She WANTS for people to see her boob and, probably, even wants people to say how inappropriate it is. no one who breastfeeds needs an entire boob, or two, out and about to do so. That woman just needs the attention, which is sad and pathetic.

This is not a situation where you can say "to each their own." There are situations where actions just aren't okay. Public nudity is both against the law and gross.

Breastfeeding does not require nudity.

+1 There are covers and all sorts of clothing that is discrete or wearing a shirt with tank tops. That woman probably wants someone to say something so she can complain about how breastfeeding is not normalized and how oppressed she is and then go stage a sit in or some crap like that.

stop clutching your pearls and worry more about the behavior of actually grotesque people who sexually harass women.

I'm a woman. I don't sexually harass women. And I still don't want to see some strangers boobs in the middle of the day.

Must be hard walking around all day knowing that you have breasts lurking under your shirt. the indecency!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I pull my boobs out for nursing in front of my older kids and have zero discretion. Tired of boob shaming myself

My SIL does this. In the mall and airport too. Both boobs fully completely out even though the baby can only use one at a time... To each their own, the rest of her family (parents and sibs) is mortified.

That is for attention. She WANTS for people to see her boob and, probably, even wants people to say how inappropriate it is. no one who breastfeeds needs an entire boob, or two, out and about to do so. That woman just needs the attention, which is sad and pathetic.

This is not a situation where you can say "to each their own." There are situations where actions just aren't okay. Public nudity is both against the law and gross.

Breastfeeding does not require nudity.

+1 There are covers and all sorts of clothing that is discrete or wearing a shirt with tank tops. That woman probably wants someone to say something so she can complain about how breastfeeding is not normalized and how oppressed she is and then go stage a sit in or some crap like that.

stop clutching your pearls and worry more about the behavior of actually grotesque people who sexually harass women.

I'm a woman. I don't sexually harass women. And I still don't want to see some strangers boobs in the middle of the day.

You sound so fragile. Don't you dare step foot in an art museum. You will see way too much flesh and it will traumatize you forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's one that REALLY goes against the grain: I believe it's super important to actually raise your own kids when they are infants and under about four years old. Not a nanny, babysitter, daycare or full-day pre-school. Mom or Dad at home taking care of and imparting values to their own kids. REALLY important.

Interesting, I feel the exact opposite which I think goes against the grain. I think middle and high schoolers need a present at home parent (from school dismissal time) much more than young kids/elementary school kids. That doesn’t mean they cannot have the increasing independence and responsibility that they need. It does mean no one is raiding your liquor cabinet or losing their virginity on your couch.

I can see this being a valid opinion.

I second this opinion.

This is exactly why I didn't work when my kids were young, and when I did choose a job that allowed me to be done by the time they got out of school once they hit middle school. Guess what, kids need parents. from 0-college

~Mom to 21yo and 18yo

I feel bad for moms who stay home with young kids and think they are making a difference or that if really matters. The kid won’t even remember the time. It’s really more for the mom, which is fine. The problem is that the time at home is actually hurting the mom in terms of equality at home and retirement savings among many other things.

Of course they remember it. They won’t have a verbal memory that they can relate back to you, but at its most fundamental level, a memory isn’t a story you tell, it’s a physical neurological change. And at no time are those physical neurological changes happening faster than the 0-5 set. That’s why if you adopt a six month old from an abuse or neglect situation, it will probably be fine, but if you adopt a four year old, they may have trouble forming relationships for the rest of their lives.
I don’t think that you can say that woh vs Sah is better. It depends on a lot of factors, but don’t pretend that those early years don’t have a huge impact on who a kid will become.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's one that REALLY goes against the grain: I believe it's super important to actually raise your own kids when they are infants and under about four years old. Not a nanny, babysitter, daycare or full-day pre-school. Mom or Dad at home taking care of and imparting values to their own kids. REALLY important.

Interesting, I feel the exact opposite which I think goes against the grain. I think middle and high schoolers need a present at home parent (from school dismissal time) much more than young kids/elementary school kids. That doesn’t mean they cannot have the increasing independence and responsibility that they need. It does mean no one is raiding your liquor cabinet or losing their virginity on your couch.

I can see this being a valid opinion.

I second this opinion.

This is exactly why I didn't work when my kids were young, and when I did choose a job that allowed me to be done by the time they got out of school once they hit middle school. Guess what, kids need parents. from 0-college

~Mom to 21yo and 18yo

I feel bad for moms who stay home with young kids and think they are making a difference or that if really matters. The kid won’t even remember the time. It’s really more for the mom, which is fine. The problem is that the time at home is actually hurting the mom in terms of equality at home and retirement savings among many other things.

Of course they remember it. They won’t have a verbal memory that they can relate back to you, but at its most fundamental level, a memory isn’t a story you tell, it’s a physical neurological change. And at no time are those physical neurological changes happening faster than the 0-5 set. That’s why if you adopt a six month old from an abuse or neglect situation, it will probably be fine, but if you adopt a four year old, they may have trouble forming relationships for the rest of their lives.
I don’t think that you can say that woh vs Sah is better. It depends on a lot of factors, but don’t pretend that those early years don’t have a huge impact on who a kid will become.

Yeah, there's just SO much research on the importance of those early years. That doesn't mean SAH is better, but the number of people who try to convince themselves that they "don't matter" is staggering.

I do agree that kids through adolescence need a present parent, but what that looks like changes, and at no point does it preclude parents working. Working 24-7, maybe, but there are plenty of ways to engage in meaningful work and be present for their kids in ways they need and benefit from.

[Anonymous]

OP Nursing mom here, laughing at all the stuffy responses!

1. I haven’t been to a mall for anything in YEARS! #Amazon
2. Never said I pull my boobs out at a mall, where did that come from
3. My kids aren’t body shamed in the slightest. If anything my older daughter and son have a normalized view of breastfeeding ( hopefully my grandkids will be breastfed some day)
4. I don’t cover at home or in the car. I rarely feed my baby in public because it’s cold AF. Damn straight I’ll be feeding her when it’s warm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many times a SAHM is bad for a child. It makes them extremely clingy and they are used to 24-7 attention. The moms often let them get away with murder and don’t do things like sleep train because they don’t have to be at work in the morning. I don’t think 10 hours a day of daycare is good for a kid either, but not convinced that SAHMs are any better. I’d argue a mom working part time is best for a child.

I’d argue that SAHMs are less likely to let their children “get away with murder” because they actually have to be around them all day. Therefore, discipline is essential to make the job of being at home tolerable. All of the non-disciplining parents I know have their kids in full-day school (whether the parent works or not).

The SAHMs I know give in to their kids because they're tired and don't want to hear them whine, so the kids are technically getting away with murder.

And the WOHMs give in to their kids because they feel guilty and don’t want to hear them whine, so the kids are technically getting away with murder.

Ok, if that makes you feel better.

I e also noticed that WOHM potty train way latter because there’s less incentive to try since someone else is with their kid all day. It’s also harder to notice the signs that your kid is ready when you don’t spend much time with them. Flame away.

Again another SAHM who incorrectly assumes you can’t have a job AND spend time with your child. There are many of us with flexible jobs. You don’t have to quit your job just because you become a mom.

Well this is one wohm with a kid who was fully out of diapers by 23 months.