Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

That's great, but you can't really think that most women who quit their jobs do it to help further the experience of women at their company.

Are you actually arguing that most women who WOH do it in order to "further the experience of women at their company"? Because if so, that's hilarious. We all know that the vast majority of women who WOH do so out of necessity and not because they just love their job so much they'd never want to quit. Most people, and that includes women, do not "love" their work and would, in fact, jump at the opportunity to SAH with their kids for either a short or a long time. So please don't feed us this line of BS that the women who never take time off to care for their kids are doing so for purely altruistic reasons; you know, to lovingly lend their support to all the other women who have to work. They're working because they need to, period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being dull has nothing to do with whether you work for pay. I know just as many boring working parents as I do boring stay-at-home parents. Anyone who draws lines such as "WOHM are like this" or "SAHM are like that" is a judgmental fool.

Don't you people have friends in real life who live in different situations and make different choices? I even have some - gasp! - single and/or childless friends! It takes all kinds.

IDK. If you have money and brains and don't need to take care of your kids all day because they are in school, but all you can come up with to fill your time is shopping, exercising, grooming, eating, and tidying--you just can't be a very interesting person. There are so many amazing women out there -- some who work for pay, some who don't -- who do so many amazing things. Most of what people have described on this thread is astonishingly limited for a bunch of people who don't seem to have physical, intellectual, or financial limitations on their potential.

Interesting people are able to find synonyms for "amazing." You seem rather limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

That's great, but you can't really think that most women who quit their jobs do it to help further the experience of women at their company.

Are you actually arguing that most women who WOH do it in order to "further the experience of women at their company"? Because if so, that's hilarious. We all know that the vast majority of women who WOH do so out of necessity and not because they just love their job so much they'd never want to quit. Most people, and that includes women, do not "love" their work and would, in fact, jump at the opportunity to SAH with their kids for either a short or a long time. So please don't feed us this line of BS that the women who never take time off to care for their kids are doing so for purely altruistic reasons; you know, to lovingly lend their support to all the other women who have to work. They're working because they need to, period.

And this is why WOHMs shouldn't get so touchy when a SAHM says they are staying home for their children. We get that not everyone can. It doesn't diminish the reason we want to. I feel badly for WOHMs, I mean seriously what mother doesn't want to be there for their children. Especially the infant to school age?

[Anonymous]

Sigh.

Are some of you seriously taking all women and splitting them into two camps? And making sweeping generalizations about both groups?

REALLY??? Listen to yourselves!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being dull has nothing to do with whether you work for pay. I know just as many boring working parents as I do boring stay-at-home parents. Anyone who draws lines such as "WOHM are like this" or "SAHM are like that" is a judgmental fool.

Don't you people have friends in real life who live in different situations and make different choices? I even have some - gasp! - single and/or childless friends! It takes all kinds.

IDK. If you have money and brains and don't need to take care of your kids all day because they are in school, but all you can come up with to fill your time is shopping, exercising, grooming, eating, and tidying--you just can't be a very interesting person. There are so many amazing women out there -- some who work for pay, some who don't -- who do so many amazing things. Most of what people have described on this thread is astonishingly limited for a bunch of people who don't seem to have physical, intellectual, or financial limitations on their potential.

Well said. I would off myself if I were in my 30s and still had 2/3s of my life left doing nothing. No wonder so many are in anti-depressants.

That's some assumption there. Has anyone here said they're in their 30's? Many of us have already achieved in the workplace prior to having kids and are now SAHMs after years of work. Many of us also plan on returning to work when our kids are older. How old are you? I'm picturing a silly, empty-headed millennial with kids in daycare, slaving away at a dead-end job. How's that working out for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being dull has nothing to do with whether you work for pay. I know just as many boring working parents as I do boring stay-at-home parents. Anyone who draws lines such as "WOHM are like this" or "SAHM are like that" is a judgmental fool.

Don't you people have friends in real life who live in different situations and make different choices? I even have some - gasp! - single and/or childless friends! It takes all kinds.

IDK. If you have money and brains and don't need to take care of your kids all day because they are in school, but all you can come up with to fill your time is shopping, exercising, grooming, eating, and tidying--you just can't be a very interesting person. There are so many amazing women out there -- some who work for pay, some who don't -- who do so many amazing things. Most of what people have described on this thread is astonishingly limited for a bunch of people who don't seem to have physical, intellectual, or financial limitations on their potential.

Well said. I would off myself if I were in my 30s and still had 2/3s of my life left doing nothing. No wonder so many are in anti-depressants.

Yeah, I don't know what I think is worse about you- the fact that you are making light of mental health issues and suicide, or that you are so sickly obsessed with stay at home moms that you are posting, off topic of course, in a thread called "Typical SAHM with school aged kids day" when you have nothing of value to contribute, and all you intend to do is cut other people down because they live a different lifestyle than you do. There's so much about you that sucks... But I guess you're life is so much more interesting and fulfilling than a stay at home mom's is, right? Psh......

I believe this same person pops up in every SAHM thread. Their posts all have the same desperate and obsessive tone.

You nailed it. Desperate and obsessive describes every one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the thread. I want to say that I'm a SAHM and I've hated it completely and totally for nearly 15 years. I'd join the working world if I could, but after so many years at home, I've lost my profession, and the only work open to me is, what, seasonal help at Crate & Barrel? I stayed home because of the needs of my children, but I never wanted to, and I wish I hadn't had to.

What did I do all day: laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping, driving, scheduling, repairing, decorating, rinse, repeat. Every task as boring as the last, but someone had to do them.

OMG, go away melodramatic troll. If you're going to troll, at least be entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yay! I am so happy to know that WOHMs won. Here are the reasons why -
They are the best moms, with most money, most educated, most accomplished kids, cleanest house and the most useful and hard working member of the society.
They are also hot looking and have an active sexual life with the most satisfied husbands. They also did not have any fertility problems because they are good at everything.
Their husbands are equal partners in helping them and their ILs respect them for their intellectual and financial achievements.
They are loved, valued and well compensated at their work, and are considered crucial in the running of the PTA and any volunteer organization.
They are doing all this while dressed in a suit, pumping at work so that their child can get breast-milk and wearing high heels.
They also cook from scratch, using ingredients that are locally sourced and organic.



I concede defeat! I am going back to my pathetic existence of -
Being vain and going to the gym and primping; not doing housework and outsourcing cleaning; being lazy and not pumping and instead just nursing my infant; not raising independent kids by not providing them with a latchkey or the daycare experience; AND being selfish by having hobbies, socializing and being well rested.
-Defeated SAHM

Bahahaha! My favorite part was "not providing them with a latchkey or daycare experience" - too funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the thread. I want to say that I'm a SAHM and I've hated it completely and totally for nearly 15 years. I'd join the working world if I could, but after so many years at home, I've lost my profession, and the only work open to me is, what, seasonal help at Crate & Barrel? I stayed home because of the needs of my children, but I never wanted to, and I wish I hadn't had to.

What did I do all day: laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping, driving, scheduling, repairing, decorating, rinse, repeat. Every task as boring as the last, but someone had to do them.

This is honesty. Refreshing.

As refreshing as all those threads detailing the exhausted, overwhelmed, resentful WOHMs and how much they hate their daily grind? Yeah, I find their honesty refreshing too.

(Psst: the PP is a troll. Notice all the buzzwords?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread: Can men with SAHWs ever be fair to working moms reporting to them?http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/526997.page

Is civil and helpful to WOHMs and no SAHMs have chimed in or tried to belittle anyone for bringing up this issue. That is the difference. I know it isn't all WOHMs either this is a DC and DCUM phenomenon.

I read that thread and noticed that too. It's obvious some WOHMs are desperate for any reason to hate SAHMs and/or their husbands. My husband is very grateful to have a SAHW and works hard to make sure his employees have as much flexibility as possible. I think having a SAHW makes men a lot more empathetic and aware of family issues, rather than complete dicks like the man I used to work for who was incredulous that I planned to SAH with my kids. He had a high-powered wife and neither of them had ever SAH with their own kids. What an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the thread. I want to say that I'm a SAHM and I've hated it completely and totally for nearly 15 years. I'd join the working world if I could, but after so many years at home, I've lost my profession, and the only work open to me is, what, seasonal help at Crate & Barrel? I stayed home because of the needs of my children, but I never wanted to, and I wish I hadn't had to.

What did I do all day: laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping, driving, scheduling, repairing, decorating, rinse, repeat. Every task as boring as the last, but someone had to do them.

This is honesty. Refreshing.

It is also sad. If you are miserable with your life and accept your fate that is not something to be applauded.

hire a nanny jesus

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM - not by choice (sorry no details)
When kid is in school I work odd jobs to pay for his sports and other classes, plus for my mani-pedi-hair and such. My a-hole H has assigned me a "budget" - using my vulnerable position- the fact that I cannot work full time in a decent job- so I have to supplement.
When I don't have any gigs I clean, cook, food shop, pay bills, call insurance and such. I volunteer at kid's school once a week.
Then I pick him up and take him to playground, his classes/sports, or a playdate. Then we get home- it's screen time and then dinner-bath-bed.

Obviously this is going to change once I am able to gain meaningful employment.

[Anonymous]

^ If the obvious troll posts could stop that would be great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being dull has nothing to do with whether you work for pay. I know just as many boring working parents as I do boring stay-at-home parents. Anyone who draws lines such as "WOHM are like this" or "SAHM are like that" is a judgmental fool.

Don't you people have friends in real life who live in different situations and make different choices? I even have some - gasp! - single and/or childless friends! It takes all kinds.

IDK. If you have money and brains and don't need to take care of your kids all day because they are in school, but all you can come up with to fill your time is shopping, exercising, grooming, eating, and tidying--you just can't be a very interesting person. There are so many amazing women out there -- some who work for pay, some who don't -- who do so many amazing things. Most of what people have described on this thread is astonishingly limited for a bunch of people who don't seem to have physical, intellectual, or financial limitations on their potential.

Well said. I would off myself if I were in my 30s and still had 2/3s of my life left doing nothing. No wonder so many are in anti-depressants.

That's some assumption there. Has anyone here said they're in their 30's? Many of us have already achieved in the workplace prior to having kids and are now SAHMs after years of work. Many of us also plan on returning to work when our kids are older. How old are you? I'm picturing a silly, empty-headed millennial with kids in daycare, slaving away at a dead-end job. How's that working out for you?

Nice try. 45. 3,homes now and my kids were not in daycare. I worked for 10 years and then worked from home because I was senior and a great asset they gave me the option. My schedule now mirrors the kids' school schedule. I did think in my mid-20s what I wanted out of life and how to get it. I reassess and think every step of the way. I knew I wanted kids.