Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOHMs like to think they do everything SAHMs do but they don't.

Just. Stop. Trolling. Anybody who takes this idiot's ^^ bait is just as bad as pp is.

Seriously? You think WOHMs do the exact same things as SAHMs? Either you're delusional or perhaps not that bright.

But go ahead if that makes you feel better about your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Oooh, so you bitch and moan about it because you are so concerned about SAHMs not realizing the significant opportunity cost of not working? You really want to help out the poor SAHMs to realize that they are making a mistake by not working? What a wonderfully altruistic WOHM you are!

I think you should stop worrying about SAHMs on this anonymous forum. Instead, I want you to give this peace of advice to all the SAHMs you know in real life. Also, could you talk to your rried male colleagues who have SAH wives and enlighten them also. I am sure you will be very appreciated for your kindhearted advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WOHMs like to think they do everything SAHMs do but they don't.

Just. Stop. Trolling. Anybody who takes this idiot's ^^ bait is just as bad as pp is.

Seriously? You think WOHMs do the exact same things as SAHMs? Either you're delusional or perhaps not that bright.

But go ahead if that makes you feel better about your choices.

+1

[Anonymous]

Wohm mom here who thinks the sahms of school age kids have great schedules. I'd love to exercise, get the house in order, have some leisure time every day before the kids came home from school. I'm not jealous...I admire your situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

I'm a WOHM, but this is ridiculous. I have amazing memories of my SAHM growing up. I felt so close to her, and loved that she was home for me when I got home from school. When she went back to work (when my youngest sibling went to K), I was sad (and I was 11!). I loved my summers and breaks with her. My SAHM taught me to read by the time I was 4, and multiply by 5, all the countries in the world by age 7, and to speak another language by the time I was 3. I skipped a grade because my mother took interest in my studies. We would do science experiments after school, just for fun. We'd go to the library several times a week. During summers we'd go back home for months (Asia) and visit family and garden and go to the pool and playground every single day. We always had home cooked lunches/dinners, always had other family friends over for dinner (2x/week), had tons of playdates, read so many books together. It was a wonderful, wonderful childhood, and much of that was because I was with the person I loved most in the world.

I have a graduate degree, make a nice tidy six figure salary, and have two kids, but the fact is I attribute nearly every success in my life to my wonderful SAH mother, who was most definitely NOT twiddling her thumbs. She worked her butt off from 5:30 am to 10 pm every. single. day.

If I could SAH, I would.

[Anonymous]

Your mom, and YOU, sound awesome. Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

So all parents work 9-3? Funny, I thought some had longer hours than that. Oh - and summers off? I'll go back to work if that's the case.

[Anonymous]

I think people are listing what they do when they don't have their kids. Wasn't that OP's Because when they do have their kids it should be obvious that they are parenting. Playdates, activities, talking, playing, readding, etc. But maybe that's just obvious to parents who are parenting.

As for summers, my kids do some camps. Most are 1/2 day. Some sleepaway. We also travel, explore the DC area, play outside, do projects, go to the pool, etc. Lots of unstructured playtime too. I'd feel bad if my kids were stuck going to all-day camps all summer. They'd miss out on summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

So all parents work 9-3? Funny, I thought some had longer hours than that. Oh - and summers off? I'll go back to work if that's the case.

My kids bus comes at 8:30 and they get home at 4:15. I get home at 5:15, so I'm missing 5 hours a week compared to someone who is home all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

So all parents work 9-3? Funny, I thought some had longer hours than that. Oh - and summers off? I'll go back to work if that's the case.

My kids bus comes at 8:30 and they get home at 4:15. I get home at 5:15, so I'm missing 5 hours a week compared to someone who is home all day.

Yes, but you spend hours cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands etc. that I get done while the kids are at school. Don't fool yourself. It is not even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

The reason no one is mentioning "parenting" is because the discussion has largely been about what happens when the children are in school.

Why do you assume that children who aren't in camp have helicopter mothers? My children have summers much like my own were -- playing outside, time at the pool (where I watch the younger ones, yes, but don't entertain them), having friends over. Some camps, but definitely not the whole time. I firmly believe that a large part of summer should be unscheduled and should allow children freedom to play.

[Anonymous]

I have a mix of working and SAHM friends. Once kids hit school age our summers are really not that different. A mix of camps and hanging out. Not all of the working moms opt for all day camps - most have summer nannies too so the kids can have a more relaxed schedule.

I work PT all year but summers are very slow for me work-wise, my big contracts are in fall and spring and wrap up by June. My kids like summer camps so it's not like they are home with me all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish someone would explain why it is so horrible that a parent chooses to be a hands on *gasp* parent. Especially if that parent is a woman.

I mean it couldn't possibly be because she wants to be present in a way differently than you do. It must be that shes a lazy gold digger right who is raising her daughter(s) to be pathetic and unfulfilled.

As a SAHM I don't care why you are a WAHM/WOHM your choices are as valid as mine and you love your children the same. Why can't SAHMs get the same consideration? It is ridiculous.

Totally agree. I'm a SAHM and totally respect women who chose to work. But for the life me, I don't understand, why some working moms, don't "get" why a woman would find putting her energies into parenting instead of paid employment to be enjoyable and fulfilling.

Because the 35-40 hours a week the kids are in school seems like a lot of time to putter around the house and do errands. It doesn't seem like SAHMs with kids in school spend that much more time with their kids than working parents. And the opportunity cost of not working is pretty significant.

Because can't think of a job (other than teaching, which I have neither training nor interest in) that allows me to be home when my kids are home, I cluding summers. If you think of one, please let me know. Most employers don't want you take 12 weeks off in the summer.

Most school-age kids do, and should, go to camp in the summer during school hours. They grow up, and they don't need a hovering mother with nothing else to do in their faces all day long. To the poster who talks about putting energy into parenting, the point is that none of these SAHMs are mentioning parenting. They're mentioning errands and working out. We are all putting the same amount of energy into parenting once the kids are in school, working moms or not.

So all parents work 9-3? Funny, I thought some had longer hours than that. Oh - and summers off? I'll go back to work if that's the case.

My kids bus comes at 8:30 and they get home at 4:15. I get home at 5:15, so I'm missing 5 hours a week compared to someone who is home all day.

Yes, but you spend hours cleaning, cooking, laundry, errands etc. that I get done while the kids are at school. Don't fool yourself. It is not even close.

NP. I agree, and I'm WOHM. I used to SAH, and I had everything DONE by the time I picked up kids - dinner, laundry, cleaning, exercise, everything. So then the time I had I could devote completely to my kids. I definitely feel like they had a lot more of me back then.

Now I work FT, but once or twice a week I work remotely. The days I go into the office -even though I get home at 5:30 - are way more stressful. I barely have time to actually devote to playing with kids/teaching them/etc. And I don't even bother doing the 'home stuff' (cleaning, lunches, cook next days dinner, laundry, mail) until after the kids are asleep (9). But guess what happens? I stay up till 11:30 doing all this stuff (and I have a spouse that actually helps too!). Which then just makes me grumpy and sleep deprived (I get up at 5:30) which affects my overall mood the whole day. Which makes me a less patient parent.

The days I telework are much easier - I can avoid the commute, of course, but I also cook dinner/do laundry/make lunches slowly throughout the day when I take breaks/lunch. So by the time the kids get home I can spend time with them without interruption. And I'm more patient too.

There are very good reasons why I work full time, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I spend as much time with my kids as I used to when I stayed at home. I just don't. I fully stand by (and am proud of) my decision to WOHM, because it is in the best interests of my family overall, but one of the very real drawbacks is less time with children, and that's something WOHM have to accept and be fine with.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with you PP. What is often missing from these descriptions of WOHMs is time with both parents. Yes, as a WOHM my school-age kids see a bit less of me, but there is no way they are getting less total parenting time. I also WFH 2x a week and my husband does 1x a week. We both take off for sick days, appointments, and volunteering with the school. We also have money to outsource a good bit of cleaning/laundry (and my husband is a great cook, loves cooking, so does most of that).

I also work for a lot of reasons, but I definitely think me working has allowed my husband to step up his time with family and childcare. Before people descend on me and tell me how they SAH and their husband is around all the time too, that is great, and not saying it's not true. But I do think these discussions often center on time MOM has with kids, and doesn't take into account the full picture.

I don't care if anyone works or stays home - no judgment from me either way - but I get tired of these threads constantly assuming all 2 parent working households are full of chaos, stress, and exhaustion. I work because we have both have flexible, reasonable schedules, I love my work, and like that we can meet retirement and college fund goals faster, not to mention outsource cleaning as I've never been a big fan of that.