Typical SAHM with school aged kids day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the thread. I want to say that I'm a SAHM and I've hated it completely and totally for nearly 15 years. I'd join the working world if I could, but after so many years at home, I've lost my profession, and the only work open to me is, what, seasonal help at Crate & Barrel? I stayed home because of the needs of my children, but I never wanted to, and I wish I hadn't had to.

What did I do all day: laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping, driving, scheduling, repairing, decorating, rinse, repeat. Every task as boring as the last, but someone had to do them.

This is honesty. Refreshing.

I assume this is honest, and I assume the many posts about SAHM being happy and fulfilled are honest too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- working moms win. They are superior and accomplish more and are happier than SAHMs. Now, can the thread either get back on topic or end??? This is so embarrassing and pathetic

+100

This is why I wish DCUM had a SAHM board. SAHMs are a minority here, like infertility and also a niche like real estate or travel. It would keep threads like these out of off topic (where this one started) and you could report easier when the WOHM peanut gallery comes in to derail anything positive or helpful.

Exactly. Could you imagine SAHMs coming in like attack dogs to derail a thread with "WOHM" in the subject line? IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. SAHMs are too nice I guess, and put up with it and I guess it goes unnoticed by the moderators of this forum or they just don't care enough and allow it to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read the thread. I want to say that I'm a SAHM and I've hated it completely and totally for nearly 15 years. I'd join the working world if I could, but after so many years at home, I've lost my profession, and the only work open to me is, what, seasonal help at Crate & Barrel? I stayed home because of the needs of my children, but I never wanted to, and I wish I hadn't had to.

What did I do all day: laundry, dishes, cleaning, shopping, driving, scheduling, repairing, decorating, rinse, repeat. Every task as boring as the last, but someone had to do them.

This is honesty. Refreshing.

That reminds me of something my grandfather used to say 'they wouldn't call it 'work' if it were supposed to be fun'. The other side of the coin ain't that exciting either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- working moms win. They are superior and accomplish more and are happier than SAHMs. Now, can the thread either get back on topic or end??? This is so embarrassing and pathetic

+100

This is why I wish DCUM had a SAHM board. SAHMs are a minority here, like infertility and also a niche like real estate or travel. It would keep threads like these out of off topic (where this one started) and you could report easier when the WOHM peanut gallery comes in to derail anything positive or helpful.

Exactly. Could you imagine SAHMs coming in like attack dogs to derail a thread with "WOHM" in the subject line? IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. SAHMs are too nice I guess, and put up with it and I guess it goes unnoticed by the moderators of this forum or they just don't care enough and allow it to happen.

SAHMs get ripped to shreds if they dare to mention they are a sahm now or were one in a wohm thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- working moms win. They are superior and accomplish more and are happier than SAHMs. Now, can the thread either get back on topic or end??? This is so embarrassing and pathetic

+100

This is why I wish DCUM had a SAHM board. SAHMs are a minority here, like infertility and also a niche like real estate or travel. It would keep threads like these out of off topic (where this one started) and you could report easier when the WOHM peanut gallery comes in to derail anything positive or helpful.

Exactly. Could you imagine SAHMs coming in like attack dogs to derail a thread with "WOHM" in the subject line? IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. SAHMs are too nice I guess, and put up with it and I guess it goes unnoticed by the moderators of this forum or they just don't care enough and allow it to happen.

I once tried reporting on a thread like this and it became ridiculous. In this thread alone you'd have to report 2/3rds of the posts.

[Anonymous]

Yay! I am so happy to know that WOHMs won. Here are the reasons why -
They are the best moms, with most money, most educated, most accomplished kids, cleanest house and the most useful and hard working member of the society.
They are also hot looking and have an active sexual life with the most satisfied husbands. They also did not have any fertility problems because they are good at everything.
Their husbands are equal partners in helping them and their ILs respect them for their intellectual and financial achievements.
They are loved, valued and well compensated at their work, and are considered crucial in the running of the PTA and any volunteer organization.
They are doing all this while dressed in a suit, pumping at work so that their child can get breast-milk and wearing high heels.
They also cook from scratch, using ingredients that are locally sourced and organic.



I concede defeat! I am going back to my pathetic existence of -
Being vain and going to the gym and primping; not doing housework and outsourcing cleaning; being lazy and not pumping and instead just nursing my infant; not raising independent kids by not providing them with a latchkey or the daycare experience; AND being selfish by having hobbies, socializing and being well rested.
-Defeated SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

End of argument: if your kids are in school 6.5 hours per day, do not pretend your life is so difficult, you are akin to a doctor curing cancer, etc. Women in the 60s/70s fought to be allowed in the workplace. Neanderthal men used to not want their wives to work. Now we live in an age where women an pretty much do anything. If that choice is keeping a clean house, napping and doing yoga--it's their choice. I do find two types of SAH--the ones who have husbands with pumped out chests that think keeping a woman at home reflects positively in him. They need the power. They also tend to be the type that don't really value their wives as life moves on (cheat at the office, etc). The second type of guy with a SAH married above himself and she calls the shots and announced she is no longer working. This SAH usually is very well educated and had a formidable career. This poor schlub DH is hen-pecked to a ball-breaker and had the look in his face line he's been castrated. The latter SAH has usually let herself go. The former is working her ass off, botoxing, clothes shopping, etc. because she's hanging on for dear life since she never had a career.

Are you following the thread where the teen DS is not talking to his dad because the dad cheated on his WOHM DW with a WOHM AP!

The irony!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yay! I am so happy to know that WOHMs won. Here are the reasons why -
They are the best moms, with most money, most educated, most accomplished kids, cleanest house and the most useful and hard working member of the society.
They are also hot looking and have an active sexual life with the most satisfied husbands. They also did not have any fertility problems because they are good at everything.
Their husbands are equal partners in helping them and their ILs respect them for their intellectual and financial achievements.
They are loved, valued and well compensated at their work, and are considered crucial in the running of the PTA and any volunteer organization.
They are doing all this while dressed in a suit, pumping at work so that their child can get breast-milk and wearing high heels.
They also cook from scratch, using ingredients that are locally sourced and organic.



I concede defeat! I am going back to my pathetic existence of -
Being vain and going to the gym and primping; not doing housework and outsourcing cleaning; being lazy and not pumping and instead just nursing my infant; not raising independent kids by not providing them with a latchkey or the daycare experience; AND being selfish by having hobbies, socializing and being well rested.
-Defeated SAHM

Woe is us and our sucky lives. I'm so sad for us.

-also a defeated SAHM

[Anonymous]

People, stop.

Women are their own worst enemy. It truly is horrible reading this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People, stop.

Women are their own worst enemy. It truly is horrible reading this.

The only time I have been degraded and devalued in my life is when admitting to being a SAHM on DCUM and being attacked by WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing fires up a DC working mother like a SAHM! I live in Calif and in all my years of living here...as a working woman and a SAHM...I've never heard anyone argue about this.

People are very educated and career-oriented in DC. It was very, very rare to find a working mom when I was in Phoenix or SoCal. In fact, friends that moved out there complain about the 'scene' out there. It's been incredibly depressing for them after leaving this area. The conversations and socialization is very dull.

Bless your heart. Trying to get a dig in any way you can. Luckily, the SAHMs around here are all very well-educated, so conversations are never dull.

They may be "well-educated", but SAHM with school-aged kids are dull indeed.

I find them much more lively, fun, and interesting than a group of WOHMs who talk about nothing other than the latest memo or who's been promoted recently. Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there's a long way to go. I started my career at 25. 20-years later not a single woman left to stay home. The number one reason for that is the unbelievabl flexibility combined with pay. Part-time, telework, sabbaticals, etc. Many women scaled way back when kids were small and through the school years--but many are now the leaders in the 10 years before they retire. This is in a STEM area too. 65% of the workers in my area are women.

Instead of bashing each other--women should be pushing for more of this.

I agree, and I also agree with the PP who said that women leaving the working world when they have kids makes this reality more difficult for all of us. That in a nutshell is why it makes more sense for WOHMs to resent SAHMs than vice versa. You working doesn't affect me. You staying home? If it affects my company's maternity leave (why be generous? they quit anyway!) or the salary the average women gets paid (they're not as valuable as men anyway!) then it affects more than your family.

Actually, after two highly valued women left my place of work, the company finally saw the light and changed just about everything WRT how they treat women and parents. They even started a program of re-enty for women who wanted longer than normal leaves of absence (like years). Sometime it takes calling their bluff.

Totally agree. Similar situation at my previous firm. Many highly qualified and sought-after women were voluntarily leaving to care for their children, so new leave programs were put into place. It's still not perfect, but far better than it once was, when women were afraid to take time off to SAH because they knew their firm held all the cards. If women start standing up for what is right and taking the time they deserve in order to care for their children, companies will sit up and take notice. If, on the other hand, women like the PPs are towing the company line and never taking time off to SAH, then companies will expect this to remain the status quo and continue to take advantage.

While I agree that family and parental leave policies leave a great deal to be desired in this country, I'm not about to sit around waiting for them to change at my kids' expense. Those of you who want to do so, knock yourselves out. In the meantime, I'll be taking care of my own kids until I'm ready to return to work.

Huh? I WAH 100%; had 6 months maternity leave and only worked 20 hours from home until my kids hit elementary school. I am now back up to full-time from home. I'm not sure how that is viewed as 'towing the line' unless you are referring to somebody else.

I am advocating for this flexibility (where applicable) for all women. My older sister got her office to let her and another mother 'job share' so they could both go part-time something their company wouldn't let anyone do prior. Her kids are in college now and she's back full-time ready hit retirement.

My company let me take an entire year off. You don't get what you don't ask for.

I agree that you don't get what you don't ask for; but [b]many of us WANT to leave work in order to SAH full-time. We're not asking for anything. [b]As for you, you keep popping up with your WAH status, as if that's what we're talking about. It's not. Obviously, we're talking about women who refuse to consider anything but WOH full-time, even if they might like to take time off to SAH. These are the women who are toeing the line, and the companies that count on them sticking around are the ones with the horrible leave policies.

I get it you don't want to work. Period. The kids are a great excuse for those that want to retire at 30. I have a hard time with the SAHs when nobody is in the house all day. It baffles me why they don't go back even part-time.

I'm sorry you're baffled and that you're having a "hard time" with this. I get it. People who make choices which are different from yours confuse and irritate you. It must be difficult to cope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- working moms win. They are superior and accomplish more and are happier than SAHMs. Now, can the thread either get back on topic or end??? This is so embarrassing and pathetic

+100

This is why I wish DCUM had a SAHM board. SAHMs are a minority here, like infertility and also a niche like real estate or travel. It would keep threads like these out of off topic (where this one started) and you could report easier when the WOHM peanut gallery comes in to derail anything positive or helpful.

I can see your point.

[Anonymous]

This thread: Can men with SAHWs ever be fair to working moms reporting to them?http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/30/526997.page

Is civil and helpful to WOHMs and no SAHMs have chimed in or tried to belittle anyone for bringing up this issue. That is the difference. I know it isn't all WOHMs either this is a DC and DCUM phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok- working moms win. They are superior and accomplish more and are happier than SAHMs. Now, can the thread either get back on topic or end??? This is so embarrassing and pathetic

+100

This is why I wish DCUM had a SAHM board. SAHMs are a minority here, like infertility and also a niche like real estate or travel. It would keep threads like these out of off topic (where this one started) and you could report easier when the WOHM peanut gallery comes in to derail anything positive or helpful.

I can see your point.

Its been requested before but I think it was said nothing could be done to keep WOHMs out. But the infertility board is respectful and policed. I don't see why WOHMs want or need to chime in on SAHM threads unless they used to be a SAHM and are offering advice. I guess they can't help it.